Costa Rica

[Wayne1]

My Colombiana wife and I just returned from 3 weeks in Costa Rica.  We finalized our plans for moving there in October and opening our day sailing yacht charter business on the North Coast of Playa Flamingo.

During our trip, we visited many parts of the country including the downtown area of San Jose.  Now of course I was not there to meet girls considering I am already married, but I still tried to imagine the place as a dating destination for a gringo.

My opinion is stick to Colombia.  There is definately a diet difference in Costa Rica with the locals consuming much more rice, beans, and tortillas then in Colombia.  In other words, the girls are fat!  I think they are even fatter then American women.  I even saw many obese young children.  

Yes I did see some beautiful girls, and the people we met were very friendly, but I just don't see the same opportunity in this country then in Colombia.  Colombia is really a special place that has to be experienced to be believed.

Costa Rica is a great place to visit once you already have your girlfriend or wife.  Very relaxing and beautiful without the stress of traveling in Colombia.

My wife from Cali and I have been married for about 6 months now.  She is speaking English quite well already after 3 hours a day of ESL classes since before Christmas.  She spoke no English when I met her.  My Spanish has continued to improve each day, and we can easily communicate in either language, which we alternate back and forth depending on the situation.

Life with my wife was easy from the beginning, and has even gotten more comfortable and easy with time.  I never saw any of the "hot blooded stubborness" that I read about on this board.  We have always treated each other with respect, and that has fostered an atmospere of trust that has grown with each day.

Considering that I had a Russian wife disaster in my past, I had learned many things from that experience.

The #1 thing that I have learned when inviting my wife into my American life, is to sit back, shut up, and don't get overly involved in her learning and adapting to the American way of life.  Constantly trying to help and teach them makes them feel stupid and is not good for their self esteem.  It is far better to not get involved in all the little details and let them figure things out for themselves.  Things take longer that way, but what is the hurry anyway?  Trying to Americanize the girl in 6 months is a mistake I have not repeated with my Colombian wife.

Yes, we have had our little bumps in the road, but by exercising patience, and restraint, the marriage has become better with time.

All the travel, expense and risk of heading off to Colombia to meet girls, seems crazy in the beginning, but in the long run, it's worth it in the end.

Wayne

[mck]

... in response to Costa Rica, posted by Wayne1 on Jun 23, 2002

I have been to Costa Rica several times and have made a good friend down there named Laura. She speaks fluent english and actually went to high school in Bellview washington for a year when her dad worked in the states. She is from an upper middle class family, above average looks and very very sweet and works as a bi-lingual secretary. She is one of the nicest girls I have ever met. She is 24 right now. The only problem was she has a 4 year old daughter and I was not ready to raise a kid. Her daughter is sweet, cute, affectionate. If anybody would like to email her drop me a line at slurpyboy3@nospam.com.

[greg]

... in response to Costa Rica, posted by Wayne1 on Jun 23, 2002

a Good wife in Cali?? Thanks

[Wayne1]

... in response to Hi Wayne..What are Your Tips on Finding, posted by greg on Jun 24, 2002

My tips for finding a good wife.

1. Get lucky and start praying.

2. Look in the mirror and then clean the skeletons out of the closet.  Are you kind enough, patient enough, not too jealous or selfish etc.

3. Be honest with yourself why you feel you need to go to Colombia to find a mate.  Do you want a nicer, younger, more attractive wife then you can get here?  Or, do you have some personality problems that have kept you from success in the past.  Do American women not like you because you are difficult to be with?

4. Go to the gym and lose the fat if you need to.  Imagine climbing into bed with yourself.  Is it a scary thought?  It will be for her too, if you are a pig.

5. Learn Spanish.

6. Hit a few agencies maybe starting with Luz Amparos, and then find one that feels right.  There are great girls in all the agencies in my opinion.  Meet at least 20 nice girls so you can really learn what you like.  We almost never have this opportunity in the US, and it should be utilized.  Go out on the town with a translator if you need one, and meet girls not in agencies.  It's not really tough.

7. When you meet a girl you are interested in, do some volunteer work with her immediately.  Spend an afternoon with her buying toys for an orphanage.  Buy food on the street for kids.  Then watch her very carefully....You will just about learn all you need to know about her if you try this.  Is she selfish, or is she giving.  Does she think you are crazy giving food and toys away? The #1 important trait in a future wife is that she is not selfish.  

8.  Watch very carefully how she treats the people around her.  Is she patient with the food server, and the taxi driver?  Does she say good things about other people, or belittle other people that you come in contact with.  Putting down other people shows insecurity, and you don't want to marry a severely insecure women, because whatever you do for her, it will never be enough.  Does she see situations as the cup half full or half empty.  Choose a positive women.

9.  Try to determine if she has integrety and is truthful in the things she does and says.

10.  Learn to keep your mouth shut after she is in the US.  Bad fights is an American women thing.  Losing your temper at all the little stupid things that happen while she is adapting to the US will sink the new marriage quickly.  In the US, with American women we often say things we don't mean in anger, then apologise later.  You don't have this option with one of these girls.  They only have you here, and it scares them when we are unkind.  I think of it like having a new Porshche.  It's like taking a bat out and dinging the hood of your Porsche.  You can get the car fixed, but it really is never the same again.  Don't ding the marriage by saying things you have to apologise for later.  It won't be the same.

My wife was the 18th girl I dated.  I found meeting all these girls often awkward and tiring.  It was fun at times, but other times .....
I chose to meet my wife from a lousy small picture at the bottom of a pile.  She didn't look that good in the picture, but I just had a feeling.  I was the 1st gringo she ever met.  She joined the agency after stopping at Margareths to ask about an address she was looking for on that street.  She filled out the form, they snapped a pic, and she forgot about the whole thing.  It was 6 months after she joined the agency that Shirley at LI called her office for our 1st date.  She didn't want to go, but she made a 10.00 bet with her office mate that I was bald and fat.  She bet against me, and she lost the $10.00.

Wayne

[greg]

... in response to Re: Hi Wayne..What are Your Tips on Find..., posted by Wayne1 on Jun 24, 2002

for a wife, especially  Foreigner Women. Coping Your Post.. Thanks...

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Hi Wayne..What are Your Tips on Find..., posted by Wayne1 on Jun 24, 2002

Wayne,
That post was full off super advice and about says it all.
I have been telling people look deep in those books,there are some real unspoiled jewels there who are being overlooked while guys are chasing the same getting spoiled
questionable flashy ones.And they can look much better than their pictures(and some with hot pictures can look worse).
My wife had been at the Latin Love agency 6 months and I was her first interview.She was over 30 and had a kid and her pictures looked nice,but not sexy.I have one mounted on my wall in my office.Not only do I think she is beautifull but she is a super person with a good  heart.Everybody loves her,including me.Although she likes material things she would probably rather buy something for someone else than herself.There are hundreds of overlooked jewels in the books in  Cali agencies.
All I would add to your list is once you have done the inventory and thought about what you want,get your butt on that plane.
Cali is probably the best place in spite of some problems guys have encountered.

Pete

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Best advice list I ever read !!!, posted by Pete E on Jun 24, 2002

I agree with Wayne that its good to know spanish.Most of these girls speak little or no english.But don't let that become an excuse for not going.If you are seriously studying spanish it might be worth waiting a few months.I myself studied spanish not too seriously for a couple of years,even took a class.I was getting nowhere.If I waited untill I knew spanish I would have never gotten there.Fortunately my wife spoke some english when I met her.We could communicate right away with the occasional help of an electronic translater.Flowing conversation it was not.Maybe I just got lucky but not knowing spanish was not a problem for me.Even now my spanish is still nill while her english is much  better,so all our communication is english.I guess I also like to point out that my wife has learned english much faster than Colombianas I know who's husbands speak spanish.2 women I know have been here a year and speak almost no english.
The one place where I miss speaking spanish is with my wifes relatives in Colombia.Her brother speaks english quite a bit,her mother a little,but her father none at all.I think he is a great guy and I would love to be able to talk to him not just with an interpreter.
I think the only way I will ever be motivated enough to learn spanish is if I move to a latin country,which is a possibility.And of course its much easier to learn when you are living in a spanish culture.

Pete

[Wayne1]

... in response to Re: About speaking spanish, posted by Pete E on Jun 24, 2002

Pete,

I agree totally.

Just go.  I spoke 0 spanish when I got off the plane in Cali.  My wife spoke 0 English.  We used an electronic translator, human translator, and I got my butt in gear, got to work and learned some spanish quickly.

You know when you really think about it...how many things do we really say during the day once the relationship is established.  It's not that hard to learn the spanish.

It's one thing I can't stand about American women.  They never shut up.

My wife and I speak Spanish/English 50/50 now.

Learn words
Put your words together badly
Learn a little more.
Massacre the language some more and laugh.
Go for it.

Somebody needs to write a book.  50 phrases to communication with a Colombiana.

Here's a start.

Hi, How are you.
Nice to meet you.
You look pretty today, I like your dress.
What do you want to do today?
Are you Hungry, cold, tired.
Slow the cab down I'm scared.
etc etc etc...

Wayne

[Nathan]

... in response to Costa Rica, posted by Wayne1 on Jun 23, 2002

 Hi-

 I lived in San Jose for 9 months...there were some really
pretty girls there....mostly  from Columbia in San Jose for work...your observations about the diet there may be right.
Opening a business in Costa Rica can be tough...every swindler one can imagine trying to screw the gringo over for a few bucks.

Nathan

[Wayne1]

... in response to Re: Costa Rica, posted by Nathan on Jun 23, 2002

Hey Nathan,

Yea, I saw some really pretty girls in Costa Rica....they were from Colombia.  LOL

I would not try to open a business in Costa Rica without my Latina wife.  She does the negotiating, and has a friend who is a lawyer.  Sometimes when we were collecting information, I even stayed in the car.  My wife used to manage a large construction firm before I met her, so she is pretty savvy when it comes to the Latin way of business.

It's not a new business for me.  I've been doing it in the states for over 15 years and have taken over 50,000 tourists sailing in my business.  It's just the same old stuff in a new location.

Come down and say hi some time.

Wayne

[Nathan]

... in response to Re: Re: Costa Rica, posted by Wayne1 on Jun 23, 2002

Hi-

Thanks! It sounds like between the two of you there is a lot of savy dealing with the Latin Business situation...sounds like that is a business you really enjoy too...you are quite right that at least you don't have the level of security concerns you have to in Columbia...hence tourists for business.
  Best of luck to you on your venture!

Nathan

[Pete E]

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Costa Rica, posted by Nathan on Jun 23, 2002

Wayne,
I wish you success in your new venture.Sounds like the only question is how many tourists want a boat ride.Sounds like a fun business.I used to take sailing trips with a guy out of Oregon who had a sailboat in Lahina,Maui.Looked like a pretty good business to a guy who had to be back at the job next week.You probably don't need too many passengers to get by.If I ever get there we will look you up.I've been trying to get my wife to do  side trips when we go to Colombia.
I was very interested in Costa Rica,used to get the Tico Times newspaper.But when I was ready to go looking for a wife there wasn't much for agencies or imformation about it.Before finding out thats where the women are Colombia was the last place I thought of going.It would be great if it was as safe as Costa Rica and you could just travel the country.
It seems Costa Rica has gotten expensive to buy or rent property.Maybe thats just to the new gringos who don't know where to go.My sister went,she said it wasn't cheap,but if you get a tourist deal they will try and charge you what they think you will pay.
Friends of a friend have a coastal property there.I guess if you want to build on the beach you have to include 3 or so rental units,so they have a main house and 3 cottages they rent the cottages and the main house when they are not there.I could see myself doing something like that.Too bad Colombia isn't safe,the Cartegena to Santa Marta area would be a good location for something like that.The property is probably 10% the cost of Costa Rica.Hmm,maybe buy land now,wait to develop when (and if) it gets safe.I know,that area is safer than most of Colombia but I would still be concerned for my safety if I was a gringo living there,and most tourists are probably Colombians.

Pete