Concerns about FSU women genuineness

[Louvan]

Dear Forum members,

I have just starting researching the topic of finding a FSU bride and I found a couple of comments from a Danish and an American gentleman in another site which I think are quite polemic but would like to get the opinions from other more experienced members of this forum as I think this is crucial for all people looking for brides in the FSU.

The Danish gentleman said:  

"...personaly i have been in Ukraine four times and seen many marriges with FSU woman and can only confirm [what other members have written] namely that:

compared to western culture, it seems to me that Eastern [European]culture is  less tolerant, less patient, less loyal, more arrogant, more selfish, more vain, more apathetic, moodier, whinier, more materialistic, less driven, more opinionated, more judgmental and more cold-hearted. These people have no scruples.

No, not all! Please remember there is also nice people there too; but one time in a flight to Kiev I came to sit by the side of a woman that worked at the French embassy and she said that that more that 80 percent get divoce before the 5 years of marrige. Wwhere I live I don't believe it is much better."

Another American gentleman agreed:

"Just for the record;
I know a few Russian women here in the States...some of them going on 5 years now, so I know them well.
I would agree with some of those character traits.
Namely:
Eastern culture is less tolerant, less patient', 'more selfish, more vain', moodier, whinier, more materialistic', 'more cold-hearted.'   Especially more selfish, materialistic and cold-hearted.

As for being:
less loyal, more apathetic, less driven...I do not agree.
They seem quite driven and motivated to me.  And also quite loyal to their husbands... while being quite cold and distant toward them at the same time."

[Bruno Thoumsin]

... in response to Concerns about FSU women genuineness, posted by Louvan on Jan 15, 2005

Hello,

Myself was married almost 7 year with a russian woman... and these marriage was a misluck because of my bad choose in the beginning...

The rate of divorce is very high in ex-ussr because thet marry very young and divorce very fast after... marriage need some maturity that young russian have not...

About marriage with foreign man, when i see stastitic, the marriage stay more long that usual marriage with western woman...

But these longuer marriage are due because usual woman go make all is possible for keep family together... western woman call direct to the lawer at the first problem...

In some way, the russian mentality is the same that our mentality 60 year ago...

Not good and not bad... some value who have now dissappear in our country exist by russian woman but they don't know other new value...

Before marry a russian woman, man need to learn a little more about the russian culture and see what is the best for him...

One other problem is the integration of the woman... several man try to tranform the russian woman in western woman... the result can be a catastrophe... the woman need to keep her culture but learn the new one in same time.

One week on two, i go to the orthodox church... this allow my new ukrainian girlfriend to meet people of russian culture... sometime, i hire a videofilm in russian language... i buy some book in russian language... and sometime, we buy russian food...

For myself, i don't wish my ukrainian wife become Belgish... i have choose her because i have find some quality in her that i can not more find in my country...

And i can say that i am lucky with her... and i have learn a lot about her culture... and she learn a lot about my culture... maybe the integration is the problem... in place of integration, a symbiose will be better... the integration is when a entity become a part of a more big entity... she can die... symbiose, it when two entity make a new one with all the quality of the 2 from the origin...

Sorry, i have enough difficult to explain my meaning, my mother language is French... but i think that it is possible to understandt it.

Bruno and Galina
Love from Russia
http://www.love-from-russia.be

[Powerlifter]

... in response to Concerns about FSU women genuineness, posted by Louvan on Jan 15, 2005

Before I offer my thoughts, my advance apologies to those guys who are happily married to Eastern European women - you have beaten the odds and I wish you the best of luck.

Here in the New York metro area, during the past 15 years or so we have been flooded with an influx of Eastern Europeans from the FSU republics, Poland, Czech Republic, Hungary, and other FSU satellite countries.  I have dated a number of physically beautiful (including my ex) from these countries, and I am continually struck by the sense of entitlement and self-centered behaviors that I have observed by nearly every one of the women.

Just my opinion, but I generally agree with the statement that "Eastern [European] culture is less tolerant, less patient, less loyal, more arrogant, more selfish, more vain, more apathetic, moodier, whinier, more materialistic, less driven, more opinionated, more judgmental and more cold-hearted" as stated above.  Admittedly, these are very broad generalizations, but they seem to hold for many of the FSU women who I have encountered who are living here in the US.  (I have not traveled to the FSU to meet a woman there - I have met women who had already gained admittance to the US.)

The irony is that most men are looking to avoid these attitudes and behaviors in a woman.  I do not think that these ladies are scamming in their intentions, but I do believe that are exceedingly adept at putting their best face on during the dating and courtship phase of a relationship.

I also agree with the idea that they are quite driven, and many are capable of some very cold-hearted actions towards their husbands, especially when they are presented with a bigger and better deal (and if she is beautiful, she will have many such opportunities when she is here.)  Choose very, very carefully.

[Haroshij]

... in response to Concerns about FSU women genuineness, posted by Louvan on Jan 15, 2005

That's not my experience. I've been married for 5 year with a Russian woman. She is loving, faithful, hard working, tolerant and very loyal to her husband. She is very carefully with money. I think that has something to do with her upbringing, and I think that is good. When we talk about giving money to people who need it, she always agree with me. She even encouraged giving money to people in South East Asia afte the tsunami.

Life has taught me, it's not possible to make generalizations like that. In Eastern Europe like in the rest of the world there are good and bad people. Look at the upbringing of the lady you are interested in. That will tell you a lot. I wanted a woman who had higher education like me. I wanted my wife to challenge me.

Haroshij