... in response to John LV you have to admit to your self, ..., posted by mender on Dec 12, 2002Yes you are right, I am a very lonely person. Since the age of about 22 to 31, I never went out with any girls, I tried to stay away from them the best I could, and I became so lonely that I came very close to committing suicide.
I told God that I would try one more time, and that I would give it everything I had, and try my best. When I found Natasha, I felt that God had brought her to me, I thought he finally would end my pain of being so lonely, having no family, having no friends, needing the companionship of a woman.
After 1.5 years of marriage, now this has happen to me, and all I can wonder is why God would do this to me, why Natasha would do this to me, why I would have no family, why I would now be alone all over again?
Everyday I have to fight against wanting to commit suicide, I have very little hope to ever being able to find another girl for myself. I do not have the social ability to know if they are lying to me, deceiving me, they can decieve me very easily.
Now I'm all alone all over again, going over to the FSU to find a girl all over again just seems too hard, and takes too long.
However I am entertaining the notion of moving to Prague, where I have been twice, its a very nice city, and I could make a living trading there, and since a pizza costs 1 dollar and a beer costs .25 cents, even if I made 30K per year trading I could live pretty well.
That would give me the chance to find a girl who might be good for me, and one that I might be good for, living together for awhile to make sure we were right for each other.
This is possible that I will do this, since I have very little in life to lose at this point, and the idea of being able to get a nice AW is basically incomprehensible to me.
Girls did pay a little bit of attention to me in Prague, I do think its possible I could meet a nice one there, although I never saw the 3-5 girls for every guy there, I'd say its more about 50/50 or so, but thats a whole lot better than Vegas where its about 5 guys to every one girl, and 50% of those girls are strippers, cocktail waitresses, escorts, showgirls, etc. And I wouldn't want anything to do with any of those type of girls.
Yes I'm a very lonely guy, been that way since I was very young, and as I get older it gets worse and worse. Most of my adult life I was a graphic designer, self employed where I would work at my computer all day every day, and now I'm a trader, where I do virtually the same thing, so I never have the chance to meet anyone.
I'm trying to keep my spirits up, but some people do well in this life, and some people don't, I'm one of the ones who don't, and it seems much easier to just end the never ending pain, rather than to bear it much longer.
Maybe moving to Prague would be good for me, scary but maybe, just maybe if I could find a nice girl there, it could be worth it for me.
David
