Title: My take on the scammer discussion Post by: Pete E on March 20, 2005, 05:00:00 AM I notice the thread has been removed.I am not trying to revive the dispute and it seems the main players here heve said what they wanted to say.
But I wanted to give my opinion of what a scammer is and comment a little on this situation,probably knowing the entire list of persons envolved as well as anybody. To me a scammer is a person who does a huge disception for a significant benefit.It seems the only person out significant money here was the French guy who it seems just jumped right in and bought a bunch of presents,perhaps thinking there would be future benefits. Without any other evidence other than her telling him it was her birthday we can't presume that is a scam.I immagine a few winks and some hand holding or maybe a kiss on the cheek is all he got out of it,other than perhaps a little lesson in latina behavior. The main issue here I think is lying or mislesding people about the possibility of a relationship in one case and trying to hold on to one in another case.This is pretty standard behavior here for a girl who is trying to keep her options open.Yes it is dishonest,you might call it player behavior,but in my opinion does not rise to the level of scammer.And in my opinion to post the name and agency imformation of a girl she should not only be a scammer but a big scammer. BUT,there is no dictionary of defineitions here and different people have different ideas about it. In this case I think the girl in question is trying to keep her options open while still trying to hang on to what is probably the best relationship she has so far had with a man.Jack has told her loud and clear if you are looking for a sugar daddy it is not me.Like me he has made his mistakes in the past but his eyes are wide open now as he asses the situation.And even though they had an understanding of not dating others I don't know if that is still the understanding with him in the states. I think this girl wants it all ,which includes a sugar daddy and perhaps a green card.Jack has told her no way for either.So she is hanging on to him while shopping,and along comes this french guy seriously in need of a latina lesson,which she provides for his education and her benefit. Not a very unusual story here.And even though the relationship with Jack was agreed to be exclusive it was not really novia or planning marriage.IF you have a girl who has agreed to marry you and perhaps you are sending her money from the states and she is still playing around that might approach being called a scammer. SO,everybody is a little wiser here. And even if we disagree with the post and the opinion really jumping on BK caused a reaction and kind of a pissing contest that Hoda decided should not remain on the site.Thats probably good,to remove the girls nameas well as the long negative thread. Life IS interesting here in CALI.And its a small world for a city of over 2 million if you travel in the gringo circles.You do something in the morning and everybody knows by evening.And the female imformmation network is alot better than ours. Pete Title: Re: My take on the scammer discussion Post by: Michael B on March 20, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to My take on the scammer discussion, posted by Pete E on Mar 20, 2005
Thank you, Pete. I was following that soap opera from the start, and it played out almost exactaly like I thought it would (only thing I wasn't sure about was what, if anything, Jack had promissed her)....but since he promissed her NOTHING, and was quite up front about it, he's not guilty of leading her on and by the same token, she's free to date (or NOT) other guys. French guy has no one to blame but his own 'needing a latina lesson', as you so aptly put it....and he hasn't complained (at least not that I'm aware of) so he probably figures it was worth the price of the ticket. Hopefully, peace reigns once again here in Rainbow Valley. Title: I gotta say this. Post by: Onephd on March 21, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: My take on the scammer discussion, posted by Michael B on Mar 20, 2005
First of all, a belated St. Patrick’s day to all. (I was wondering why all of my students were wearing green, hah hah) This thing has bothered me since I saw this whole fiasco start up and I debated with myself as to if I should say anything. Well, personally I don't get it. I was one of the posters that actually egged the guy to post the girls name or id. Personally I think it’s a good idea. In my opinion, aside from information about the visa process, the second most valuable information is that which relates to possible errors a man can make (i.e., less than honest women, bad agencies etc.) The whole thing with the "scammer" tread seems to be more personal between some posters and had nothing to do with the apparent dishonesty of the woman. I find it hard to understand why hardly anyone raised a peep when someone posted photos of several girls laid up in the bed half naked for what they must have thought was an intimate photo moment with their apparent lover(evidently that was OK). However, when this guy post the id of a lady (in which the majority of us have agreed was less than honest), it’s a really big issue from everyone including the moderator. Are you kidding me? Its like WE DON'T have a problem with a woman being shown in what she thinks is a private photo session with her lover, but when we talk about identifying someone that is doing something that is obviously less than honest every one raises hell. .... "Bow Wow? Scooby Doo, where are you? Like I said it must be personal and something I'm missing. As for as the term scammer. The thing is this (IMHO), we don't know who is a scammer unless we discover a pattern of behavior with a lady (although technically a person can be considered a scammer after having taken advantage of just one person). We (here on PL) don't have a way to make this discovery without making things public. Hence, what are we to do? I understand Hodas point and others points as well, but it has always puzzled me as to why there are so many men on this board that want to protect these women from identification while at the same time admit that there are many so women out there doing dishonest things. I just don't get it and I can't waste time trying to figure it out. Anyway, like someone said, maybe we will return to peace again. Title: Bow-Wow! Post by: Ray on March 22, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to I gotta say this., posted by Onephd on Mar 21, 2005
First, I don’t know what specifically you are referring to by photos of half-naked women and I think you are only clouding the discussion. This is not about photos of naked women but about publicly impugning another’s reputation by accusing her of a crime. I think you should stick to the subject and save the naked-women photos for another separate discussion. I think perhaps you and a few others fail to understand the power of this medium and the possible consequences of making public accusations about an individual on a public forum like this. Do you have any idea at all how many people around the world read this forum? A lady’s reputation could suffer irreparable harm based on one individual’s accusations. In the recent thread that caused all the controversy, another member made a post with a lady’s complete name calling her a “scammer” in the subject line. Hell, the guy doesn’t even know what the word means! Nobody “scammed” the guy and he had no factual basis for his accusations. But based on his own ignorance and second-hand gossip, someone’s reputation was damaged in front of millions of readers around the world. Is that fair? Hell no! Would you be happy if someone made public accusations about you without any evidence to back it up? Of course not! So why do you find it so difficult to understandable why some folks find it in bad taste to make public accusations about another on this forum? I think the answer is possibly because you simply don’t give a crap what happens to someone else as long as it isn’t happening to you. Is that against the rules? No, but is shows a lack of class IMHO. The people who spoke up against this sort of public accusation without the possibility of the accused being able to face her accuser, or to even know his real identity, was done in the interest of fairness. Now is that so hard for you to understand? Ray Title: Re: Bow-Wow! Post by: doombug on March 22, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Bow-Wow!, posted by Ray on Mar 22, 2005
[This message has been edited by doombug] "A lady’s reputation could suffer irreparable harm based on one individual’s accusations." ...assuming she had a good reputation to start with. After all, it wasn't just one poster who'd fealt uneasy about this innocent little dove. In fact, I'd wager that half the stuff she posted in her "infamous" profile was bogus. Though, this is hardly uncommon. I think a lot of the gringos who are coming down excessively hard on this guy are--in a word--whipped. See a "pretty" Latina, and suddenly your instinct to run to her defense surfaces. The original poster never claimed she committed murder; never said she was a narco trafficker; nor a member of FARC. But, what if she were any of those? Or, what if "she" was in fact a transvestite, or someone you'd discovered to have venereal disease, would you still pummel the messenger? Or, just stay hush, so as to avoid the Gloria Allred paralegals here on the board. Besides, why are you getting your kicks out of pummelling a member of the Latin board anyways? And, "...millions of readers around the world." That one stumped me. So, a sizable percentage of the home computers around the world were tuned into little ol' PL when that horrific "scammer" word was uttered, right? Lighten' up, officer. Though it's "custom" not to "out" people, don't lead everyone here to believe that one shoud NEVER do so. Otherwise, you might be leading lambs to slaughter. Peace out! Title: Re: Re: Bow-Wow! Post by: Ray on March 22, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Bow-Wow!, posted by doombug on Mar 22, 2005
First, I don’t need your permission to participate on this forum so save silly ‘what are you doing here?’ nonsense and stick to the point. Did I say that people here should “NEVER” out someone? Go back and read my post again. If there had been any reasonable evidence that this or any other lady was running a real scam and was cheating guys out of their money, or was involved in serious criminal activity, then there might be justification to “out” her. But you better have some reasonable evidence to back it up before you start making accusations. Again, my problem with the “scammer” attack was that it was based on hearsay and gossip with NO evidence that the lady was running any scams or cheating anyone. If you go back and read the original reference to her, you will see that an unidentified third party had told a story about some French guy spending some money for gifts or whatever. Who is this French guy and what does he have to say about it? Was he “scammed” out of his money? We simply don’t know! I think it is important to note that the original poster who related this “story” also said that he dated the “suspect” and she DID NOT ask him for a penny! So why do you defend the attacks on her? What crime did she commit? Do you get your kicks pummeling a woman who isn’t here to defend herself? Trashing a lady based on some girly gossip is not very manly IMHO. Ray Title: Re: Bow-Wow! Post by: Onephd on March 22, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Bow-Wow!, posted by Ray on Mar 22, 2005
See post titled "Fuzzy and Ray" where I try to address both of your posts. Again no harm intended and none taken. Title: Re: I gotta say this. Post by: Fuzzyone on March 21, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to I gotta say this., posted by Onephd on Mar 21, 2005
I think you will find that there was men here that did object to those photos being posted. I myself did not find anything wrong with them only because when I was in Barranquilla all the woman there dressed that way. When I was in Santa Marta once again the woman were dressed very nice but I kept my eyes on my wife since I felt she was the most beautiful woman on the beach. If you go back and read alot of the old post here there has been alot of men We have had men here go down to Cali and got their ass handed to them. It is not going to help anyone here to post one woman's ID stating she is a Title: Fuzzy and Ray Post by: Onephd on March 22, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: I gotta say this., posted by Fuzzyone on Mar 21, 2005
OK.. I confused you slightly but not intentionally. Sorry. When I am referring to mens attitude about half naked photos I'm NOT talking about women dressed in bathing suits or half shirts on the beach.. . I understand the women in BQ and Cart. and Cali dress differently from those in Bogota. I'm talking about men that post photos of girl after girl in their hotel room, some half naked, in their underwear. I intentionally didn't and will not post the posters name as he is not the subject of the post. I think maybe one person raised an issue about the guy posting those photos back then. (Those who follow the board know what I'm talking about) No one talking about blinding posting information. I think I explained how that can be done tactfully and carefully. Like I also said, I don't expect things to change here as this topic was brought up about a year or so ago. I just wanted to understand how one form of behavior was acceptable and the other apprehensible. As for the guy calling Gina a scammer in the title. Even he has admitted that that was not the best choice of words. If you read the entire tread beore it was deleted, I had a post titled "Scammer Vs just not a good catch" where I said that she was probably better labeled as not a good catch and the guy that made the original post agreed that in reality that’s all he was trying to do and say. So yes his choice of words was not correct, but the really crazy part is no one here was able to get off that part and on to the real issue which was the girl’s behavior. No one got past the title. Unfortunately you can’t change your titles after they have been posted. But anyway. You and Ray Hoda and others don't understand how identifying women who are dishonest (scammers etc) will help them. Fine... I can easily respect your opinion on that issue. I just don't understand it. O.K. Especially when compared to the other incidents describes above. All I will say is this as a final note is: Do you now think that anyone here on PL that saw the post about Gina will go and schedule an appointment with her? Do you think that a guy that doesn't schedule that appointment will actually miss out on something? If the answer to each part is NO, then you understand my logic and where I am coming from. Anyway, man, let’s just agree to disagree. Like I said, I noticed this attitude by men a while back and it resurfaced so I brought it up. Again no harm, no foul. Title: Re: Fuzzy and Ray Post by: Fuzzyone on March 22, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Fuzzy and Ray, posted by Onephd on Mar 22, 2005
OnePhd I kept nailing the guy because he could not keep his story straight. I do not I do not blame Gina wanting to move on, do you blame her? She knew she I do understand how to I.D. a scammer not hard to do and alot of guys here On you question I would take out Gina, she would not be getting any money Title: Wrong Post by: Ray on March 22, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Fuzzy and Ray, posted by Onephd on Mar 22, 2005
She should never have been identified and labeled as ANYTHING based on some stupid idle GOSSIP passed on from a third party to a member here to the forum. When you hear a story that starts out “My friend who works there told me about her”, then it’s nothing but GOSSIP! Leave the gossip to the girls. And if you still feel that you must engage in hurtful gossip, then leave the names and personal info out of it. Just my $.02, Ray Title: Re: Re: I gotta say this. Post by: OkieMan on March 21, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: I gotta say this., posted by Fuzzyone on Mar 21, 2005
Fuzzyone, I enjoyed your posts and I agree with your views as stated. However, since you are one of the few that are happily married to a latina, could you please share with us more about your own experience? Possibly you have already done that, but I do not recall. Could you please fill us in about your wife and her story, etc? I feel that these positive stories help to encourage men like me who is still searching. I am currently corresponding with a lady in Cali. But, as everyone knows, I will have to exercise caution when I actually meet her in person. Right now, she seems to be very sincere. Frankly, I wish I was there in Cali, with her, right now! I plan to go in the near future. Certainly this entire experience of travelling to Colombia and trying to start a relationship with these latinas is a major departure from "the norm". But, I am also thankful to now have options that a couple of years or so ago I did not even think existed! Anyway, I would like to know more about your situation. OkieMan Title: Re: I gotta say this. Post by: jim c on March 21, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to I gotta say this., posted by Onephd on Mar 21, 2005
[This message has been edited by jim c] In most cases women are called scammers, by disgruntled or disappointed suitors. We have, as you may have noticed, some people here who are not firing on all plugs. I have met more neurotics here than on the police force! ( I am describing no one in particular!! ) Women who have been called scammers in the past may have used bad judgement. Often they believe that gifts come from rich genereous gringos without strings. How could they know, that some here think they can buy true love with gifts, and if the strings are broken it triggers animosity. PT Barnham "You can't cheat an honest man"
You are not buying a used car,you are talking about a persons reputation. As for laying half naked on a bed it is hardly a comparison to telling someone you are sick rather than saying you don't want to go out with them. Dishonesty sure! but it is not scamming someone out of their money. Wanting to marry someone who is rich is no different than wanting to marry someone who is beautiful. Wanting to marry someone who lives in the United States is not criminal or immoral. Why do you think she wants to marry your ignorant fat neurotic a-s. You came here to take advantage of her situation, quit whining!!! (THIS POST IS NOT DIRECTED TO ANYONE IN PARTICULAR, although ingestion by some may cause nausua, vomiting or headache. In extreme cases dry mouth and rash may occur.) Soft enough Hoda? jimc Title: All gringo scammers, please post names & photos Post by: Hoda on March 21, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to I gotta say this., posted by Onephd on Mar 21, 2005
Onephd...How much you wanna bet, that this request goes cold, naked & unanswered? There are scammers on both sides of the equation. After being around for several years, more often than not...the guy pointing out a "scammer" was more vindictive, than victim! As Jim C, pointed out in with his kid glove approach (lol)....that guys are their own worst enemies, most of the time! Do people deserve to be taken advantage off? HELL NO! But in this "thing of ours", it's gonna happen! Since it's dayyum near impossible to get the "accused" point of view posted here...why should the "accuser" get all the benefit of a doubt? There is a risk, but there are rewards....peace! Title: Heat is a scammer.................. Post by: Heat on March 22, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to All gringo scammers, please post names &..., posted by Hoda on Mar 21, 2005
Why he must have banged 200 women in the last two years he has lived in Cali. And the boy never talked about marrying and getting them a green card. What a scammer that heat is!!! Title: I used to have dreams like that, too Post by: Michael B on March 22, 2005, 05:00:00 AM Title: Do the math...... Post by: Heat on March 22, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to I used to have dreams like that, too, posted by Michael B on Mar 22, 2005
4 or five a week X 104 weeks.... Title: Re: Do the math...... Post by: mudd on March 22, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Do the math......, posted by Heat on Mar 22, 2005
still living between the legs!!!! sorry, couldnt resist :-) Title: Re: Re: Do the math...... Post by: Heat on March 22, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Do the math......, posted by mudd on Mar 22, 2005
Living in Cali makes it easy. Title: 200 in 2 years?!!!!.....LOL Post by: Hoda on March 22, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Heat is a scammer.................., posted by Heat on Mar 22, 2005
Who do you think you are....Wilt Chamberlain :-) Title: Re: All gringo scammers, please post names & photos Post by: Onephd on March 21, 2005, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to All gringo scammers, please post names &..., posted by Hoda on Mar 21, 2005
I understand you point (as I said up above). In actuality You just made my point crystal clear. You are correct, absolutely no one will post Sh#T. Despite all the horror stories that some men have as well as in some cases valid sources of confirmation of the story. I understand why Patrick may decide he won't allow this. Its his board his rules. I just have trouble with the fact that seemingly everyone belief that it’s a good thing. Your argument for guys not posting "scammers" is quite different from the responses in that tread that got deleted. This is about something else that I can't figure out. I dont' get the logic. Maybe its just as simple as men being too embarrased to show a photo of the girl that took them to the cleaners? Maybe it's denial(we don't want latinas portrayed in the same light as Russian ladies have been). Now Remeber... Yes, I'm 110% sure there are men that are jaded and would resort to posting possible lies about some ladies[I'm positive you are right about this and I know as I've been to SA about 10 times now.] But really, that’s an easy fix. For example: Granted Russian women run more sophisticated scams, one to which I almost feel victim to, but I discovered that website that described the scam to a tee and even had photos aliases of the girl in question. Now granted Colombian women are not running very sophisticated scams. But I often hear stories from men on this board that claim their ladies write them and ask for money for a sick relative etc. To me this seems to be the extent of Colombian so called "scams". None the less, they are scams. While it may be common sense to many, having such information posted somewhere would benefit those just starting this venture. Now I'm not under any expectation that this board will ever adopt anything like I've seen on Russian websites. I really just venting about that mentality that I described above. It’s just so not logical or rational to me how. Some things I'll never understand. ha ha ha. None the less, no offense is meant and certainty none was taken. |