Print Page - Ever surprised your girlfriend in Colombia?

[This message has been edited by jediknight]

I was wondering if during the dating process if any of you have ever flown down without letting your girlfriends know and surprised them. How did you guys do it? did you show up at her house, work, school? did you stay at a hotel a day or two before the BIG surprise?
was there a special occasion involved like a birthday, anniversary or a holiday? how suprised/happy were they? did you involve a family member to help you plan the surprise or did you do it alone?

i just got back from barranquilla and I'm thinking of flying down again sooner than i expected, perhaps showing up with a musicians, flowers, the whole works. I haven't decided whether to do it alone or to ask an uncle or cousin to help me plan things but I know she'll be happy to see me as I'll be to see her.

... in response to Ever surprised your girlfriend in Colomb..., posted by jediknight on Feb 6, 2005

Sure did. While we were dating, I decided to fly down to see my novia, now wife. I flew down on a whim, told no one, let the guardas at the gate know what was going on, and knocked on her door with flowers and suitcase in hand. She said she was so happy to see me because we had not spoken that day and was worried that something had happpened to me. Needless to say, all went well. -TNC

... in response to Re: Ever surprised your girlfriend in Co..., posted by thundernco on Feb 6, 2005

Thundernco,
How long had you dated you novia/now wife at that time? How many times had you seen her? Just curious. When you say that you had your suitcase in hand, then I guess that you stayed with her, instead of using a hotel, or something? Did she live alone, or did she have family with her? It might help me with a situation I am working on. Glad to know that all went well.

OkieMan

... in response to Re: Re: Ever surprised your girlfriend i..., posted by OkieMan on Feb 7, 2005

okieman, mind sharing the "situation" you are working on? the mariachis or trio or musicians are not expensive, depending on the length of time you want them to sing it may run about$30-$60, although I haven't done it in barranquilla, I was in bogota and a buddy did it for that price($50) so I would guess it may be cheaper in the coast. I'm still ironing out the specifics but i'll keep you posted

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Ever surprised your girlfrie..., posted by jediknight on Feb 7, 2005

My deal is too much up in the air right now. Money is tight for me right now, so I am not sure when I can fly to Cali. But, I have a calena that is really special, and she wants me to fly down. Well, let me clarify. We have been just corresponding, so I cannot "count my chicas before they hatch", so to speak. But, if she is really anything like she is telling me, we might have something special. I have several photos that she has sent me. Wow! So, as I said, I don't want to be premature. We are still a work in progress!
OkieMan

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Ever surprised your girl..., posted by OkieMan on Feb 7, 2005

great news, i hope things turn out the way you hope. you wrote that she is not part of an agency, so how did you meet her? how long have you been writing to her? do you speak often over the phone, instant message her, camara web? i did all of that for months before flying down to meet my girlfriend and she was better than the person i had gotten to know over emails/phone/IM. we both knew we had a strong connection but it wasn't until we finally met that we both knew that we were for each other, i'm very lucky and happy. good luck

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Ever surprised your ..., posted by jediknight on Feb 7, 2005

I may have given you the wrong impression. She is a member of Latin-Internet Agency now. But, she just joined in January, and had not been a member of an agency previously. As you can see, we have been writing to each other only a short while. But, in that short time, we have formed a strong connection. To answer your other questions; no, at this time, I have not talked to her by phone or the other stuff; just emails. That's mainly because I don't speak spanish and she does not speak english. We are trying to work on that. But, I did have a somewhat unusual situation develop. One day a couple of weeks back, I had a message on my answering machine. I could barely make out the words, so I thought that it was a mistake, or something. So, later that night I was watching TV, and this person called me again. It turned out that this was the 19 year old son of this lady. Since I could not speak spanish and he could only barely speak english, our phone conversation was short. Pretty soon he hung up. Well, anyway, I emailed the agency to find out how he got my phone number. It turned out that my information was in the profile they had on me. The lady that I am writing had written it down in her diary, for possible future use, and her son wrote it down, without her knowledge and called me. She says that he was just curious and wanted to talk, and she apologized. Naturally,I told her no problem (especially after I found how he got my number. But, until I confirmed that, I was somewhat apprehensive). So, it was a little hurdle, and now everything is sweet and wonderful. This weekend, she emailed me several more photos of her. Man is she smokin! Of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I can't wait to meet her in person. I just hope that this time is better than last year. Overall, I enjoyed my trip, but I didn't get anything together with the women I met on my trip to Cali last year. So, now I have another shot at it, and this girl is even better than the others. So, for now, I am happy; but I am anxious to make the trip soon! I'll keep you guys posted.

OkieMan

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Ever surprised y..., posted by OkieMan on Feb 7, 2005

Be aware that if you sponsor her for a K-1 or K-3 then her 19 year old son will qualify to come to the US also as her dependent child. She'd be a fool to leave him down there and most likely won't come without him. Now, I aint a sayin 'does' and I aint a sayin 'dont'....just letting you be aware of the situation.

Personally, I do have a 19yo step son living in my house....is he perfect? No. Is he an out right trouble maker? No......he's somewhere in the middle. He's got a factory job, a car (that he paid for himself and scares his mother to death with) and his English is getting pretty good.

Your milage may vary.

... in response to 19yo son, posted by Michael B on Feb 8, 2005

MichaelB,
Thanks for the info on your situation. Frankly, I am not at the point where I know what the "real deal" on that is. He does not currently live with her, but she did raise him after she and his father divorced. She told me that her son has lived with his dad for about the last six months. I will just have to wait until I actually get down there before I open up that "can of worms". I could ask now, but I am not sure that would be the best way to handle it. Besides, I don't want to go down that road until I am sure about her and I. Having said that, she seems to be a real special lady. So, I will have to wait and see. But, clue me in on the son being able to come here as a dependent, even though he is over 18? That is one part I hadn't thought of.

OkieMan

... in response to Re: 19yo son, posted by OkieMan on Feb 8, 2005

Like Soltero said, the cut off age for a dependent child is 21. I'd open the bait box (worm can) NOW, before I bought my tickets. 'Special Lady' or no, she's a MOTHER and she's going to want to do what she can for her kid. Let's see now, the choices are: a) move him to Gringo land, all nice and legal like, where he can maybe get a decent education and at least eat everyday or b) leave him in Colombia fending for himself, to roam the streets unsupervised or get drafted into the Colombian army or who knows what ........wanna take a poll of the guys here of which choice they think that she'll make? Now, to want to bring her child with her does not make her a 'bad person', a 'shark' or a 'gold digger'. Like I said, it proves that she's a mother. But were it I, I'd make a decision of either 'no kids, period' or 'OK, IF I get along well with the kid' before I went any futher with this woman.

I don't see anything wrong with a guy deciding 'no kids, period' and then simply not persuing any woman who has childern and I don't see anything wrong with a guy deciding 'maybe, depends on the kid' .....but to say 'no kids' AFTER a woman with kids is involved with you and has her hopes up, well, that just isn't right and 'opps, gee, I just never really thought it through' doesn't sound like a very good excuse, now does it?

I'll lay dollars to doughnuts that she won't agree to come up here with out him and if you pressure her to she'll say 'see ya round, Charlie Brown'

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Ever surprised y..., posted by OkieMan on Feb 7, 2005

ok i understand now,when you mentioned that she wasn't part of an agency i thought that you may have found her through the internet or introduced by someone. it must be difficult to communicate to each other, but don't give up, i've been at this since 2000 and it finally has paid off. getting pictures is ALWAYS exciting, remember to send her some of yours, even when you were a kid, i've found that women like that, ask her if she has any of when she was 2 years old, that's always nice to see. from the way things sound, this next trip should be better than the last, good luck

... in response to Re: Re: Ever surprised your girlfriend i..., posted by OkieMan on Feb 7, 2005

Hi Okieman,

We had been dating about 8 months, which consisted of me flying down every other month for a week or so, and her coming out to see me on her tourist visa once. I did stay with her and she did live alone at the time. I should add, I would always call her to a fixed line number in the evening, west coast time, and I would always find her within a call or two (her place or her parents' home). The calls helped solidify my trust, but I had a few days free and wanted to see her along with the added benefit of dropping in to verify that a correct decision had been made in placing my trust in her. She was stunned and took it positively that I would fly out to spend a few days with her. I asked her parents for her hand in marriage soon after. -TNC

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Ever surprised your girlfrie..., posted by thundernco on Feb 7, 2005

Great story. I am glad everything worked out for you. I am keeping my fingers crossed concerning a situation I am working on. I have started to correspond with a lady in Cali. She has never been a member of an agency before. She is 35 and has 1 grown son; and he now lives with his dad. So, she lives alone in an apartment. I am working my tail off to earn enough money to go see her. So, as I had said in another post; I don't want to be premature about this deal, but she seems to be much different than many of the girls we hear about on this board. One thing is for sure, she is hot! But, not a party girl. If anything develops, I will keep the board informed.
OkieMan

... in response to Ever surprised your girlfriend in Colomb..., posted by jediknight on Feb 6, 2005

In 1974 I suprized my girlfriend in Mexico City by showing up at her house unxepetedly. She knew I was comming, but she had the date mixed up and thought I would be in NEXT week. Well, the suprize was on me, ha ha. Her four year old daughter answered the door. What's so suprizing about that? Despite 4 trips over the previous 2 years, this was the first time I had seen the daughter. In fact, it was the first time I even knew she existed. Needless to say, the relationship kind of went downhill after that. Be careful who you suprize.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: In Colombia? No. In Mexico? ..., posted by jediknight on Feb 7, 2005

She was living with her parents and I met them the second time I was in Cali over a year after we met. I found out about her son a week before I met the parents but they were in on the lies/deception about the daughter and the boyfriend. I remember calling her on my birthday and was told by her mother that the guy that answered the phone was a " family friend". I found out that the little sister was her daughter from the next gringo that brought her to the States. She was with him for six months and then informed him that "my little sister is my daughter and when can she come live with us ?" When he refused she called 911 and claimed that he was raping and abusing her. I dont know how he got my name and number but he called me and we exchanged very frightfully similar experinces. The last night that I was with her and ended our relationship she trashed the hotel room and called the police and claimed that I raped her!!!!!!! I was on my way to jail in Cali but fortunately for me the security guard at the hotel witnessed the incident thru the room window and told the police the truth.
My advice is that if any of you guys have to leave your fiance behind in Colombia hire a PI or you could be posting some good infotainment here in the future.

... in response to Re: In Colombia? No. In Mexico? Yes., posted by jediknight on Feb 6, 2005

Yeah, not cool. Her excuse was 'when we met I was afraid you wouldn't be interested in me if you knew I had a kid' and that she had been 'waiting for the right time' to tell me (like the day before, or the day after the wedding?). Oh well. You know, sometimes I still wonder 'how things might have been' and beleive it or not I still have all the pictures of us together, and even a picture of the little girl (she was the cutest thing). Just don't let my wife look in the upper left drawer of the Mac tool box.

... in response to Ever surprised your girlfriend in Colomb..., posted by jediknight on Feb 6, 2005

I'm glad you asked this question. I am VERY interested in the answers, but for a different reason.

I was thinking this would be good to do, as BOTH a romantic gesture AND, equally as important, an impromptu faithfulness test.

So my question would be:

Has anyone ever done it AND discovered unfaithfulness as a result?

Gracias

... in response to Re: Similar Question, Different Reason, posted by jediknight on Feb 6, 2005

Hey, if that happened, you could tell her your real name is Quiedo, and you will make her an offer she can't refuse! ha Just kidding. I am sure there could be all kinds of stuff come out of a meeting like that. Frankly, it would probably depend on how far along your relationship is with the girl in question. Engaged, or almost engaged would probably be better than just a short, no-commitments type of relationship. Otherwise, she might be out with other guys for sure. You know, we might be onto a new idea for one of those dumb "reality" shows! What a hoot!

OkieMan

... in response to Re: Similar Question, Different Reason, posted by jediknight on Feb 6, 2005

I know this wasn't the question here,but it comesup from it.
ANY doubt at all I suggest checking her out.Probably better to hire a private detective.One of my friends had a novia living in an apartment he rented for her.He heard stories but rationalized them as false,there were people trying to break them up.He talked about a private detective but never did it.Finally he showed up unanounced to find out the rumors were true.He just put her basic clothes in the lobby,did not even give her the expensive stuff he bought for her.She screwed up the best sugar daddy she was ever going to get,which I am sure has occured to her and will for the rest ofher life.She was real young,like 19.He was a good looking 40 something,but to her he was old.Even 25 years olds would die for him.
Deception is SO common that unless your girl is absolutely totally in love with you and there is not a SINGLE doubt about her,hire a PI.Might be a REAL EYE OPENER.Maybe$100.Could save you thousands plus untold grief.
My do it all Colombiano can arrange it or do it himself.He has a real funny story,he was checking out a girl,the family noticed him out front,so he just went for it,asked for her,said he was an old friend.They invited him in showed him her room,photographs ect.But no conclusion from this about her screwing around.The relationship got so bad it didn't matter.A player at 50 ft to me.But I had a REAL clever one who fooled me for months.Even fooled a very savy Colombiana friend of mine.I still didn't know what to believe,but again the relationship got so bad it didn't matter.

Pete

... in response to If ANY doubt,check her out, posted by Pete E on Feb 6, 2005

I just remembered a terrible experience I had when I was at LE, one of the customers really liked a young beautiful lady (Marilyn Gomez Saavedra)and he was going out with her for over a week when he decided to meet her parents...
At the parents' house, the mother told him that if he didn't give the family US$1000 a month she wouldn't let him see her daughter. They already had everything set up before, they even had an account number where he could deposit the money in the US and she could receive it here. This is really disappointing, all the agencies know this and she is in most of them, it's disappointing because the other agencies only want to sell her body and to make money without caring for the men's feelings. In this world there's everything for everybody. It is true she was at LE before, but as soon as we found out about the business family she had set up we took her off the site just like we have taken off the site some ladies that only want to do business instead of finding a husband.
I am just saying this because I feel like it's my duty to inform what goes on here in Cali,
Margareth

... in response to Terrible Experience at LE, posted by Margareth Mayor on Feb 8, 2005

Margareth,
If I understood what you said, the girl and her family were all in on the "scam" or deal or whatever. Basically, they were counting on the gringo being desperate enough to pay the money. But, I am curious if the girl would have just stayed a short time with that man, and then left him; or would she maybe wanted to stay as long as he kept sending the money to her parents? Either way, it's a form of blackmail or prostitution, right? Thanks for the story.

OkieMan

... in response to Re: Terrible Experience at LE, posted by OkieMan on Feb 8, 2005

I don't know how you could call that a scam. The family was being up front and honest.

Give me a thousand bucks or you won't see my daugther.

Never break rule #1 and even if you are getting it on a regular basis don't be a chump. A thousand buck a month should get you a super model quality woman in Cali not something you are normally going to find in a marriage agency.

... in response to If ANY doubt,check her out, posted by Pete E on Feb 6, 2005

Hi,
It's very sad to know how good and honest older men are deceived by young ladies. What I want to say is that it's not because they are Colombian it's just a natural law that youth attracts youth. In Colombia there is a big porcentage of irresponsible paternity and the women grow up unconciously looking for a father's figure in their lives, that is the reason why some older men find young beautiful ladies but of course it's not always the same case. Some young ladies take advantage of older men to get all the money they want and to live like queens enjoying their money with handsome young Colombian guys,
I know they are liers but mature men should be wise (and realistic) enough to know that a young beautiful 19 year old is not going to be serious with somebody that could be her own father.
I don't mean to hurt somebody's feelings but I guess somebody has to say the truth in this particular case,
Margareth

... in response to Hello my friends, posted by Margareth Mayor on Feb 8, 2005

Hi Margareth,
I know that it is somewhat of an issue, concerning the fact that some older american men like me (51) are chasing after girls that are in their late teens or early 20's. Speaking for myself, I am wanting a real relationship, not just a fling. I am also a realist. Even though I might could impress a young girl for a short time; at least enough time to have sex with her. But, I realize that she and I would have no solid future. Besides that, I have three grown sons. My sons know that I am looking for a latina wife. But, they would flip out if I tried to bring home a "teenage" bride, or someone close to that age. My youngest son just turned 19. So, I guess it has to be to each his own, but I choose not to be foolish like that. I am attempting to start a relationship with a lady that is 35. She is beautiful, but seems to be mature and stable. By the way, please continue to give us the benefit of your experience.
OkieMan

... in response to If ANY doubt,check her out, posted by Pete E on Feb 6, 2005

[This message has been edited by jediknight]

pete, you wrote.."But I had a REAL clever one who fooled me for months.Even fooled a very savy Colombiana friend of mine.I still didn't know what to believe,but again the relationship got so bad it didn't matter."

i don't know if you have gone into details in the past about this and if you have maybe you can point me to the post where you explain the situacion, but if you haven't, would you mind telling us what she did to fool you and your savy Colombiana friend? what were the doubts you had about her? how old was she and how did you finally find out? did she trip herself up with lies or did you catch her?

harleyman posted above that.."I found out after over a year that the "little brother" was my ex fiances kid and two years after we split I discovered that the "little sister" was indeed her daughter as well."

so my question to you Pete is, getting back to your situation,did you meet many or only a few family members and were they all in on the lie/deception also? or did she fool everyone?
thanks

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GoodWife / Planet-Love Archives => Threads started in 2005 => Topic started by: jediknight on February 06, 2005, 05:00:00 AM