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Ha!  I have been away from the list for awhile;  stopped by and read Westerngirl's story and didn't know whether to laugh or to cry at the sight of it.  The snips above illustrate perfectly why AW (in general) are doomed to a life of empty shallow moments.  The above is so terribly self-indulgent, hedonistic, and short-sighted.  

It is the epitaph of the state of AW; the terrible tragedy is that they can read and write such idiocy and not see that the end of that story is regret, scars, and a loneliness that will span the decades after their their youthful beauty has disappeared.

Should I laugh, or should I cry?  I guess I would cry, if I thought it would help.

I am 43, have an MBA, earn close to $200K (in a good year), and would not consider (seriously) dating an AW, though opportunities present themselves regularly, for precisely the reasons implicit in Westerngirl's twisted point of view.  

I am sorry Westerngirl, for the difficulties you will no doubt need to experience, before you will know what I am talking about.  I am even more sorry that on that day you finally get it, your young pretty face, and your innocent heart, will be but a memory.  This is your moment and your chance.  But you have no idea what I am talking about, do you?  I am sorry for that....

Jim

Btw, dropping your stats and how much you make per
year on a public forum is pretty tacky....even if you
WERE just trying to get the point across that you're
"doing well" in life.

I was not bragging when I dropped my stats, and regret having given that impression.  I was simply hoping to help WG see that many of the kind of men she hopes to marry one day, when she gets good and ready, won't be interested in her.  MANY men will even think that at 30 SHE is the one who is TOO OLD.  (Won't that be a kick in the pants?  Wonder if she will still have those age blinders on at that time?)

As for AW, I do not hate AW.  But the "Experience" WG promotes, as I understood it, was the experience of being a tramp.  A great many young AW are embracing that particular experience.  They give themselves to men who couldn't care less for them.  Then, when they meet the man they "love", the man who cares about them, well, he gets the left-overs.  

Her husband gets not the innocent, trusting, eager-to-please girl she once was, but instead he gets the callous, hardened, suspicious, lady that she has become, as a result of her "experience".  A woman who "loves" her husband would not willingly do that to him.  Nor would she condemn the children she "loves" to be raised by such a mother.  Yet it happens all the time these days.  Divorce is rampant as a direct result.

I was not, in my earlier post, hating AW.  No.  I was earnestly hoping, though sincerely doubting, that WG might be able to see the truth.  That she might see it while still young enough to make decisions that will help her to build the happy family that she will one day wish she had spent these precious years building, as opposed to advocating living like a tramp.

Just my opinion, offered w/o intent to antagonize.

Jim

--Love - Never, ever discount this fact.  Many if not most of them marry for love.  Don't go by the statistics because you won't see the real picture.  Go by facts by getting to know those who are in this relationship.

--Economics - Don't get me wrong, I'm not agreeing with your view that we (yes I am an Asian woman and no I didn't marry for money and no, I didn't marry a 40 year old man but a wonderful man 3 years younger than me and no, I didn't get married when I was 20--more like 33) are materialistic.  Hello, you can find materialistic AWs/BWs/LWs sooooooo why do you think we are different?  Although a number of us are materialistic, some Asian brides marry for economic reasons. Were you born without a mattress?  I think not.  You didn't even know how it is to walk 15 miles round-trip just to get the much needed education without shoes on (okay, I added the last part just to make the guys laugh). Is it wrong to marry someone just because he can give you a better life?  People are doing it for centuries, why do you think we are different?  History will tell you that a princess married a prince from a nearby kingdom just so their two kingdoms can merge and become powerful.  The late Diana, Princess of Wales was a (gasp!) commoner and so is Fergie.  Why do you look down on people who did the same thing?

My advice--complete your education, grow up and get real.  GET A LIFE!!

Carrisse, a Filipina who really doesn't care if you have an MBA or a PhD, common sense is good enough.

Well, that opinion seems one part 1800s mis-perception and one part 1990s rubbish.

Today's 20 somethings aren't really having that much fun, I know a lot, and if you've spent any time in youth counseling you would know first hand that today's average modern, Western, big-city girl is lonely, often-depressed, insecure about herself, unsure of her direction or future, scared of all the unkown out there in the world and often, just plain lost.  Having fun -- sure, lots of them like to think so, but just hear what they say when they step into a counselor's office -- then the tune changes -- a lot!

The rampant binge drinking and drug use is a clear symptom of how lost and unhappy today's youth has become.  Night after night of heaving drinking, drugs, mindless dancing to mindless, droning music until you "zone" and are literaly in a zombie-like state cannot measure up to the "fun" experienced by a healthy and self-confident individual.

On the other hand, I think all people in happy and healthy marriages would object loudly to the idea that "fun" ends with marriage.

I know that my 20ish fiancee and I are having lots of fun, and are going to keep right on having lots of fun right on up to the last breath we take.  We love to go out dancing, roller-blading, hiking and swimming, and a million other things too!  In fact, doing just about anything with the one you love, and who loves you back, is fun!

And it won't be by drinking or druging ourselves into a stupor, destroying our ears and brains with nauseating bullpuck so called "music" ( Macy Grey is, of course, wonderful ) that you hear in most of the 20ish clubs or talking and living like brain-dead vegetables on legs.  No, it won't be like that at all.

It's not about age, or age differences. It's about culture. Those who, like WG, do lip-service for the burned-out, dead end, cultures can only see marriage as an end of something. To those that exist in the wilder, more natural, less-tamed and burned out cultures of the world, marriage can still be a beginning -- a joyful beginning!

So, three cheers for FUN!  Married fun.  And to all the others like WG, too bad --- hope you find a life somewhere!

Paulv

There isn't anything like being in my wifes arms.  I'll do anything to make her happy because i know she wants the same for me.  I don't have to do anything even close to being semi-illegal or dangerous to be satisfied or to satisfy her and end up smilling for days for having done it.

When its all said and done the best you'll ever feel is when you are holding a loved one in you arms knowing that you have made them happy and that they love you!!!  

You can be in the ultimate throws of destitude and know/be happy.  Wealth just isn't important.

Bear

 The most important is that both love each other and enjoy each company. And as a guy, should do all your best for the girl no!

 
Anna V

   But you're right some but not all young women! People can't leave with out money but they can find it in a better way. Not just faking somebody and then leave..... or run away.

   As of now, people are more aware than before. So if you think that the girl is acting and asking some money they knew its the bad one.

Anna

If you choose to not listen to anyone who is trying to help you to understand, that’s fine. But please give us a break and shut up about the age difference thing.

And please answer Dave H’s question. Are you the same one who posted under the names “Asian Girl” or “Anonymous” a while back? Inquiring minds want to know.

Thanks,

Ray

Ray

Hey, have you tried trolling the Russian board yet? They like young chicks over there too. Go get em!

Bye,

Ray

Jeff2

How come you guys on the Russian board always get the best trolls? I was just over there checking out the troll scene.

OK, we'll keep westerngrrl if you keep Cathy. Deal?

ROTFLMAO!

Ray

Eastern European women tend to look similar to the "typical" western woman, so western women that do not like the idea of men looking outside the local area anyway can more eaily feel threatened or rejected; it becomes more personal and hurtful.  It is not as much of a rejection when men look for Asian or Latin women because the differences in appearance are greater; the western woman can rationalize it because the man is "only going for appearance."

As for the personalities, a while back there was a post in this forum discussing the types of men that tend toward each of the areas.  Those interested in Eastern European women were said to be the eggheads (I do not remember the exact term that was used) and those interested in Asian women were said to be the easy-going types.  My experiences tend to support this categorization.  When the Russian board gets a troll we tend to refute and argue even though that is not the best way to handle a troll; here trolls are often ignored or not bitterly attacked so they leave for more fertile grounds.

And while I framed this regarding western men looking overseas, I do not exclude Lori or others like her; I like what I have read from her.  Trolls normally attack the men involved, so I looked at it from that perspective.

At least the trolls here tend to be literate and not overly vitriolic.

Regards;
Jeff

You don't understand why 20 year-olds can fall in love with guys 40 +? That's because you haven't met me yet. ;o) Tell me, what does a 20 year-old guy do with the other 23 hours and 59 minutes of the day after he has "made love" to you. I know, he sleeps, eats, craps, and cleans his car. There are a whole bunch of 30-40-50+ guys here that would treat you like a lady, hold a conversation, and not use you for a human condom. I bet you would learn to love it!

Dave H.

Ray

ROTFLMAO!

Ray

Family has to be the most important thing.  Not wealth and material things.  Plus you have to learn to depend on each other in a relationship.  All your post talk about total independence and material things.  None of those will comfort you when you are sick or hold you when you are lonely.

Take a look at the effects of the "lack of love" that occurred in Poland while it was controlled by the communist governemnt.  They'd take the kids away from the parents an put them in orphanages.  The kids are unmotivated or inclined to what ever decrepit thing that comes up because they do not know love or respect others.

Family must always be first and it has nothing to do with presents, eating out and trips to Europe.

Bear