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According to the Atlanta Journal in 2002, 6,700 women applied to the INS to self-petition for residency as a victim of domestic violence. This is the process women waiting for permanent residency but supposedly in abusive relationships can apply on their own for residency. 2,500 applied in 1998. Sounds like an awfully high number.

... in response to New bill in congress, posted by Landover on Dec 13, 2004

If there is a reason to claim abuse,as in she gets to become a pernmanent resident WITHOUT staying married to the guy who brought her here,and abuse can be construed as someting as simple as raising your voice,the horrible verbal abuse,you will gets lots of women trying that one.
Next it will be abuse if you don't give them everything they say they might have expected.Don't laugh,in the divorce cases she can ask for him to continue to support her in the lifestyle she had become accustomed to,as in the life he provided for her to be his wife,even if she choses to not be his wife.If it would work they would try it.
Join the ranks of the 10,000,000 here illegally.Makes you wish they would start sending some butts back home.
In Germany they actively seek out illegals to deport.I heard of 2 women who went to a Colombian celebration,were stopped by the police as they left and deported for not being there legally.
Actually I would hate to see that happen to Jose the hard working Mexican gardiner.But some of these dishonest scammers,their butt should be on the next plane.

Pete

... in response to He yelled at me !  Can I stay now ?, posted by Pete E on Dec 13, 2004

I wonder how many of these scammer women came over via men who were agency-hags and married the first young, cute, piece of azz that showed them a bit of attention.  The men who's pure stupidity, selfishness, and lack of judgment should be equally to blame for providing a vehicle for these type of immigrants to make it to our shores.  I blame the men for not screening these women properly and not being patient and disciplined enough to get to know the women, and thus uncovering their true intentions.  And then when these men get burned, it's everybody's fault except their own, right?

It's a two way street; scammer women who arrive here on the backs of desperate, weakminded men.

... in response to Yes, but..., posted by Troy on Dec 14, 2004

Theres alot of truth in what you say.Sometimes it should be obvious what you are dealing with,other times not so much so.I certainly jumped in too fast.I don't consider myself desperate or weak minded,but I was ripe for what I hoped was the love of an attractive woman and my judgement was poor because of this.
But once the mistake has been discovered a little honesty,which is hard to come by when there is an ULTERIOR MOTIVE would seem appropriate.We hear charges of abuse primarily because it is openly stated as a grounds for the woman to stay permanently.And the Colombian underground,maybe too strong a term but the Colombian connection will fill her in on what to do to take advantage of that clause in the immigration rules.I bet there are more men that have gone to jail for claims of abuse than actual,abuse.And verbal abuse,well thats a catch all wide open catagory.Only verbal evidence.
But you are right,it takes 2.Usually one fool and one scammer or at least a person with less than pure intentions.We screw up,we pay.She scams,or even screws up,she benefits.
I subscribe to a BWHB policy.It doesn't work,her butt goes back.No benefits for a failed situation for either party.

Pete

... in response to He yelled at me !  Can I stay now ?, posted by Pete E on Dec 13, 2004

Pete - out of all the posters on this board you should be the last one blasting latin women who come to this Country with the true intentions of being with their husband/novio and rasing a family and making themselve better in the process.  Pete - YOU DON'T EVEN SPEAK A SENTENCE OF SPANISH - for all the drama you HAVE and will contiune to have in your life. "indicio"

It appears that many of you who are dogging me (which actually is sorta funny) are not interesting in finding a wonderful and loving wife...you are only interested in petting your ego and establish some "forum" friends on this board.  Why don't you get out in the real world and socialize?  Put away the woman arm cushion you sleep with and actually get out there and become a MAN!

I am not looking for people to agree with me or to be apart of a click - sh*t I'm not on this site enough to be into that sh+t.  I'm not asking which agency is the best (sh*t many of you have no clue anyway) I'm just posting some real life sh*t for you "busters" to learn!  Get it?!    

... in response to Re: He yelled at me !  Can I stay now ?, posted by Sam Club on Dec 14, 2004

I not even going to bother with cut and past to show what a idiot you are... your
post are so far out in left feild it makes me wonder who you really are... You
have posted something and failed to follow up on anything else to do with this
Crime against Latina womanhood. If you are so worrried about thses woman
then post the guys nick and stop hiding...

... in response to Re: He yelled at me !  Can I stay now ?, posted by Sam Club on Dec 14, 2004

It takes a real man like you to come on a message board and judge a bunch of strangers.  What's made you so hateful????

... in response to Re: He yelled at me !  Can I stay now ?, posted by Sam Club on Dec 14, 2004

I think maybe your tampon is too tight... LOL!

... in response to What an arrogant ass!, posted by Ray on Dec 14, 2004

Raymond - thank you so much - you've impressed me!

... in response to Re: What an arrogant ass!, posted by Sam Club on Dec 14, 2004

You're welcome, you "fat, lazy, socially unacceptable, old, balding" girlie man! :-)

... in response to Re: He yelled at me !  Can I stay now ?, posted by Sam Club on Dec 14, 2004

Pete is a real man.  Not some feminazi wuss like you.  Get a life troll.

... in response to Pete is more of a man than you'll ever b..., posted by Heat on Dec 14, 2004

Thank you Heat for your very informative post!  And you contribute byyyyyyyyyyy????

... in response to Re: He yelled at me !  Can I stay now ?, posted by Sam Club on Dec 14, 2004

My spanish is not good,but its not true I do not speak some spanish.
My story is true.My wife spoke english and I don't think I missunderstood what was going on.
And  I don't know if you have some real examples of abuse or wether you are like the feminatzis I refer to,raise your voice its abuse.My post was a response to people who think like that.If it fits you I don't know.
And I am a little tired of excuses,lies and manipulation.If they don't like it they can go back where we found them.Do they want to do that?Oh no,they want the goodies.They would rather complain and  manipulate all they can to stay in the country they choose to enter with a person they choose to come with,even though they now want nothing to do with him.
There are probably some real cases of abuse.There  are probably hundreds of cases of false abuse for every one of them.But,if you have some real stories,give us an example of abuse so we can tell which sort of of person you are sticking up for.You can withhold names and even change little details if you keep the basic story intact.
AND - I did not insult you,unless the feminatzi comparison fits.You are the one over the top here.
So enough general BS,give us some imformation or drop it.
Maybe we overeacted a little,but guys are TIRED of bugus abuse stories and  manipulative scammer women.

Pete

... in response to He yelled at me !  Can I stay now ?, posted by Pete E on Dec 13, 2004

My wife came to the US knowing this strategy.  She called 911 more times than I rmember us having fights.  [She enumerated all the times she called 911 in our divorce roceedings].  911 was called at least a half dozen times, the police only came twice and one of those two times I was the one who made sure they came.  No arrests were ever made since there was no abuse.  

My wife has an elaborate plan B which is exactly like you described.  She asked for spousal maintenance which was denied.  The police ignored her, the courts ignored her but I'm not sure if it will help her adjustment of status when (and if) it finally comes up.  

By the way, a woman who does this is trying to stay here legally and it has nothing whatsoever to do with people who are here illegally.  Germany is a good roll model.  Another holocast would be politically incorrect so this is the next best thing.  The United Staes definately needs to emulate Germany as to how to treat people.

... in response to absolutely, posted by kented on Dec 14, 2004

It is a crime to publicly challenge any 'held' belief about the 'Holocaust' in Germany.  It is a serious, jailable offense.  That group of laws is a an enemy of free people everywhere.  It is the same as the laws that forbade any public critical speech or writing about Chinese or Russian leadership.  Laws like those only serve some small special interst who have something valuable to lose.  I will leave it up to the reader to determine who that is and what they have to lose.  (I beleive France has similar laws)

That said, I am not sure what you were referring to about "Germany being a good (role) model".  Maybe you had a good point, and I don't get it.

I agree with you that "Germany is a good roll model".  Nothing like tuna salad on a kaiser toll with dill.

Ciao

... in response to He yelled at me !  Can I stay now ?, posted by Pete E on Dec 13, 2004

I'm sure some of the times I yelled at my wife would qualify as verbal abuse in the minds of feminatzi's  and other sympathisers
Some times its difficult to just keep a calm voice and smile.
For instance:
-The 50th time the cheching account got overdrawn by mama going wild with my wifes ATM card."Dear I guess you didn't understand this the last 49 times I explained it to you."
-Or when I dig some important business contact imformation out of the garbage,taken off the desk with the papers I told her many times not to TOUCH  because she could not tell the important ones from the others.
-Or the time I dug my shoes out of the garbage.
-Or talking on the phone to guys saying things like PAPI  and Mi amor.
-Or countless times when told blatant lies or  given     rediculous excuses.
Sometimes people DESERVE to get yelled at.It GETS THEIR ATTENTION AT LEAST.Politically incorrect I know.But it is counterproductive,with a Colombiana NO  behavior of theirs is  equal the to negative behavior of a spouse raising his voice.
She LOVED these  novelas where people were yelling all the time and doing all sorts of terrible things to each other.But not in my life por favor,regardless of how justified.
But she didn't have to rely on charges of spousal abuse.She just avoided telling the truth,actually vociferously denied it,untill enough time had passed she was a legal resident.The more patient approach.Works better if you got a guy who will put up with it even if he knows better.

Pete

... in response to You guessed it, posted by Pete E on Dec 13, 2004

...I have found although I have dome my share of yelling.  I have learned never to yell, not at my children, not at my wife, not even at my dogs.  Smart people find other solutions.

You and I definately chose the wrong Colombians.  Having someone be unfaithful is horrible (I excaped that horror) but at some point you understand it is over and make other decisions.  At every point in the process, I had more and more time and money invested and I got zero return if I didn't "follow through and make this work".

Poker players call this sending good money after bad money...repeatedly raising on a hand you will probably lose because you've gotr so much in the pot already.  It took me three months of marriage to read the writing on the wall.  

You say it's not "politically correct" to yell at someone.   You were the one who faciliated her doing what she did to you and you chose to yell rather than pull the plug.  You can't blame this on feminazis (whatever that means).  Lying and infidelity are not principles of feminism.  My wife treated me like ca ca for three months and when I realized it wasn't going to get better, I made other plans.  

Most of us on this board have multiple divorces and a history of bad relationships.  I certainly do.  But I don't blame this on feminazis, just my own mistakes, poor judgement and inabiltiy to make good decisions.  Yelling at an unfaithful wife isn't abuse but it also isn't a good idea or anything you should be proud of. Truly resourseful people find more effective ways of dealing with their frustrations.

... in response to yelling is a poor choice..., posted by kented on Dec 14, 2004

And I guess it's your fault that your dog craps on the carpet, since you facilitated him by letting him in the house...

At some point in time people have to take responsibility for their actions instead of dumping a guilt trip on everyone else to cover their a** during times of their own indiscretion...

... in response to Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by wizard on Dec 14, 2004

Actually regarding the dog crapping - if you the owner haven't displayed the patience with teaching the "dog" not to crap on the carpet.....it is your fault!

... in response to Re: Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by Sam Club on Dec 14, 2004

I taught my dog not to crap on the carpet by beating his a** when he did... Based on your agenda, I have abused the dog... But guess what, he doesn't crap on the carpet anymore... Just how do you reason with a dog anyway...

This reminds me of unrestrained children in public... You know, the ones that are going crazy in public places while their parents tell them "No Sammy, don't do that"... What these children need is a swift slap on the a** to impress upon them the correct behaviour when in public...

I was raised during the time when corporal punishment was the norm, not the exception... Discipline, whether self-imposed or used as a remedial training tool is not a bad thing... This age of Political Correctness makes me want to puke...

... in response to Re: Re: Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by wizard on Dec 14, 2004

Careful.  You run the risk of having Spam C report that to PETA.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by wizard on Dec 14, 2004

I taught my dog not to crap on the carpet by beating his a**""

God I hope you never have children. There is never a reason to hit a dog.
You always talk about beating up somebody.  I suggest you seek help.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by Heat on Dec 14, 2004

I knew you would have to chime in Heat...

And just how do you teach a dog not to crap on the carpet??? Whisper sweet nothings in his ear, give him a treat and tell him he's a good boy??? Or rub his nose in it and smack his ass with a rolled up newspaper???

First lessons, never hit a dog with your hands, always use a rolled up newspaper... The newspaper becomes the article that disciplines the dog, not your hand... The next time they mis-behave, you just shake the newspaper at them and they understand... Use your hand and they are afraid of you forever...

Comprende???

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: yelling is a poor ch..., posted by wizard on Dec 14, 2004

I taught my dog not to crap on the carpet by beating his a**""""

This is what you said.  I see you are now backtracking.

Any idot knows this is wrong.  I suggest you read about dog training.  Only backward country hicks use newspaper to train a dog.  You've got issues.  God help your poor dog.

... in response to Re: Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by Sam Club on Dec 14, 2004

They don't have an agenda.Or huge expectations.

Pete

... in response to Dogs are  teachable, posted by Pete E on Dec 14, 2004

What's wrong with having hugh expectations?

... in response to Re: Dogs are  teachable, posted by Sam Club on Dec 14, 2004

I think people should think big.You have to be able to immagine something to create it.
BUT,if someone,like a good looking little chica,comes here
in a dishonest way,as in marrying  and promissing to love a guy she does not love,then somebody is being used.Fraud is the term I think.So huge expectations OK,good.But you have to do your part.EARN  and DESERVE your way.Not expect to defraud somebody to achieve them.

Pete

... in response to yelling is a poor choice..., posted by kented on Dec 14, 2004

I agree yelling is a poor choice and I wish I hadn't done it.But people do get angry and yell sometimes with good reason and it is not the the same at all as physical abuse.I admit it could be carried to extreme where a person is constantly berated,there probably is something called verbal abuse.My reference to feminatzis and other sympathisers is to those who belive whatever the situation if you yell at the person it is verbal abuse.We had acounsoler that thought sort of like that.To yell isawfull,on the other hand itsOK and even normal sometimes for awoman not to like sex,and the guy is just supposed to accept that?Fuc-ing ditz.
Yes I should have handled it differently.I should have sent her back.
BUT,even with what I just said I don't think she was a blatant scammer and I loved her.I still do in a different way.She was not honest with me or even herself her family or her friends about the real situation.She married a man she did not love but thinking it would work,perhaps turn in to love or at least be an OK situation that was getting her what she wanted,the ability to live in the US.Even when I finally left she didn't want me to go,did not want to give up the guy who was talking care of her even though she refused attempts to try and make it a real marriage.Then I heard these stories third hand back from the Colombiana conection about thipoor woman whose husband left her.My friends who heard these stories and more are much less forgiving than me.There are some details they know I don't that I'm sure would really piss me off.
Guess I reacted a little to the idea that I do believe exists out there that if you raise your voice you are abusing someone.There are alot of subtle ways of abusing someone.I feel abused.I gave her everything I could and really loved her.She stayed ih a situation she didn't like then complained about it to her friends,bad mouthing me.
I would like to think if I had a more  blatant scammer like you I would have got rid of her fast.But with my ex I knew better but just didn't do it.

Pete

... in response to Re: yelling is a poor choice..., posted by Pete E on Dec 14, 2004

Yelling is definately NOT physical abuse and desperate Colombians have tried to make it so in both of our cases.  This is not an acident but a planned strategy by ladies trying to stay here without the help of the man who brought them here.  

You descrition of your wife is almost exactly like mine.  Not an outright scammer, not honest with me or even herself, and she didn't like sex.  

She moved into a separate bedroom and never negotiated anything in good faith. Everything had to be her way and when we compromised, she would repeatedly not do what she had promised to do.   I probably fell out of love with my wife quicker than you did and then the divorce was the obvious next step.