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Need money for an operation, or to see a doctor
Funds needed to help with studies, english classes included. In my five years I know of one mujer who really benefited greatly from studying english at a gringos expense. The others seem to take the money and run (damn clever with the excuses).
Show up for date with entire family and friends. Be willing to say no! Help them learn the American expression - "I was born at night but not last night".
Asks for cash to buy clothing, etc (most brazen)
Sob story of how money is needed for basic living expenses (baby has no milk, etc).
Got robbed or lost money coming to see you
If you are in a loving relationship with a woman, money will not or shouldn't be an issue. My wife never asked for a penny and that included cab fare to visit me while in Colombia. I did take care of her needs, the point is she never asked for anything. She still recounts how I always took care of her and how good that made her feel.
There maybe others to add to this list. Feel free to help out.

There is a group of email letter writers in Cartegena. I know for a fact that most of these girls have several men in various countries sending money and believing they have an exclusive relationship. In that regard, I will say be very careful before ever sending money to someone you've met via email.

Summary: Don't start giving away your hard earned dollars until you know you have something very special. The well mannered women will find it difficult to ask for cash. The poorer girls tend to look for ways to hit your soft spot and start the requests for money.

... in response to Ploys used to separate you from your mon..., posted by slojas1 on Dec 15, 2004


Maybe its just me, but as a newbie, the solution seems fairly simple.  Please correct me if my view is too simplistic.

Doesn't anybody just tell these girls up front...

"Under no circumstances can I help you out financially because money confuses the relationship."

Or "I have heard a lot of horror stories about Latinas asking gringos for money.  I get the feeling that you are a sincere lady and would never do that, am I right?"

Or "Since I'm here on a serious search for a wife, I'm NOT the kind of guy that uses girls for sex, and I can tell that you're NOT the kind of girl that uses guys for money."

In addition, I have seen several posters indicate that their wives/fincees/girlfriends have never asked them for money...

... in response to Am I missing something obvious here?, posted by Looking4Wife on Dec 16, 2004

Bringing this up up front might make the girl feel that you suspect something dishonest from her.  Just show the girl up front that 1) you are 'financially stable' 2) this does not mean that you are desperate for her.  Just insinuate that you have a lot of women who want you back in the States, and a lot more in Colombia, but you chose her because she is so modest and nice ;)

good luck!

... in response to Re: Am I missing something obvious here?, posted by thunderbolt on Dec 16, 2004


“Just show the girl up front that 1) you are 'financially stable' 2) this does not mean that you are desperate for her. Just insinuate that you have a lot of women who want you back in the States, and a lot more in Colombia, but you chose her because she is so modest and nice”

This is a very good position. To add one should never insult American women in front of their interest. Don’t let them think you could not get a good woman at home and hopefully that could be the case for most of you. You are a man of many options that favors this particular one girl for particular traits that stand out from others. Finances should really never come up until you have concluded this is the right girl and you are ready to take the next step.

Jamie
Engage the Exotic – Latin Women
http//International-Introductions.com

... in response to Position, posted by Jamie on Dec 17, 2004


Thunderblt said...
"Just insinuate that you have a lot of women who want you back in the States, and a lot more in Colombia, but you chose her because she is so modest and nice"

Jamie added...
"You are a man of many options that favors this particular one girl for particular traits that stand out from others"

Now my question...
Yes, but the real question (in my newbie mind) from the Latina(s) to the visiting gringo on the "Romance Tour" should be:

A) What the heck are you doing down here so far away from home looking for romance anyway?

B) With an additional implicit/explicit question being:  If you were so desirable in the USA, then why would you come down here to Latina-Land?

... in response to Chicken vs. Egg... Which came first?, posted by Looking4Wife on Dec 17, 2004

Excellent points.  I have wondered about the same things.  I too am somewhat new at this.  When I went to Cali in August, I couldn't help wander what the girls must be thinking.  But, I think that they are at least somewhat entrigued by us, a curiousity of sorts.  Now, since I have not yet had a serious relationship with a latina,I don't feel qualified to come to any firm conclusions at this time. Until I do, I will continue my search; and boy do I enjoy that wiggle in their walk, and the way they talk, etc!
But, yes, I certainly am wandering what is buzzing around those beautiful, little minds of theirs?

                              OkieMan

... in response to Chicken vs. Egg... Which came first?, posted by Looking4Wife on Dec 17, 2004

Nobody can't give you a 'one size fits all' answer.  Simply because everyone has arrived at the decision to go to Colombia through different means and for different reasons.

Just tell her that the idea of finding a girl in South America is exciting, that you were always fascinated with the people from there, and therefore decided to give this adventure a try.  And that should this thing not work out, you will be content to return to all those ladies who want you back home, but you still want to remain friends with her to learn more about her culture.

Actually, don't...  This was supposed to be my line ;)

... in response to Am I missing something obvious here?, posted by Looking4Wife on Dec 16, 2004

Your view is on point but this topic is one that constantly comes up and is worthy of review. I have heard that when in the presence of a beautiful woman some men don't have enough blood in their system to control both heads at the same time. The issue becomes clouded and simple decisions become complex. If it only were that easy for all....
I am one of the guys whose wife never asked for money. She is truly a sweetheart and my family truly loves her. This is making her transition much easier.
Take care,
J

... in response to Ploys used to separate you from your mon..., posted by slojas1 on Dec 15, 2004

[This message has been edited by utopiacowboy]

I agree with your post although I did violate it with my wife. Before I met her in person, I sent her $20 to buy a web cam and actually, buying the web cam was my idea. It wasn't a lot of money and I was able to ascertain that she was a woman who kept her word - she did use the money to buy a web cam. I think that $20 was the best investment I ever made for those 6 months we were apart waiting for her K-3 visa!

... in response to Ploys used to separate you from your mon..., posted by slojas1 on Dec 15, 2004

There is lots of poverty in LA and you would be calous to not recognize this. But you are in LA to find the love of your life, not to solve the problems of every woman you date.

My wife is poor but never asked for money she didn't need, never ordered me to give her money and never spent my money like it was he own.  A lady can be poor but she either respects herslef and you or she doesn't.  This is an obvious RED FLAG if she looks at you as cash cow.

... in response to Ploys used to separate you from your mon..., posted by slojas1 on Dec 15, 2004

This is very true.  I met a nice, so I thought, girl in Barranquilla.  She was asking me for money to get English classes, so I sent her the money to show support and help her.  I believed we were going to get married.  Man, she got me good.  This is what it is.  One must be very careful not to give $$$.  This is what many of the girls are TRULY looking for.  I was a sucker and I'll admit it.  Anyway, I'm off to the Dominican Republic on Monday.  

Dolphin

... in response to Re: Ploys used to separate you from your..., posted by dolphin on Dec 15, 2004


Good luck on your DR trip.  I am very much looking forward to your trip report, especially your experience with the Latin Affairs agency.

... in response to Re: Ploys used to separate you from your..., posted by dolphin on Dec 15, 2004

Dolph - have a good trip. hold tight on to your wallet this time. if you don't find Mrs. Dolph this trip - there is alway's Colombia. You might consider Cali or Medellin. also, a lot of guys are saying good things about Lima. good luck

... in response to Re: Ploys used to separate you from your..., posted by dolphin on Dec 15, 2004

I lived in the DR for 3 months and had a great time, if you have specific questions just shoot me an email. You will have a great time there!
I also 'helped' a girl in the past with english classes. I found later that she and her best friend weren't speaking because she didn't share the money that I gave her for the class. I tried to pay the school directly but couldn't and went against my better judgement by sending the money directly to her. I'm sure she can say 'I know to screw two ways' in english. I learned my lesson very early in my search. Happy holiday season to all. Have a great time Dolph. Let me know what you think about Boca Chica. ;-)

... in response to Ploys used to separate you from your mon..., posted by slojas1 on Dec 15, 2004

"Need money for an operation, or to see a doctor"

I have never had a caleña ask me for money for an operation or for money to see a doctor but if it happened I would just tell her I was sorry but I don't have the money. I would say no in a polite way just incase she really was dying.

"Funds needed to help with studies, english classes included."

The only reason that you would be paying a girls tuition is if you are in a real serious relationship. I mean she should be making herself available 24/7 or at the very least be available for siesta sex everyday you are in town if she lives with her parents.

Never give a girl money for something that you can pay for directly while you are in town. Tuition is a no brainer. Go and pay for it yourself before you leave.

"Sob story of how money is needed for basic living expenses (baby has no milk, etc)."

This is a nasty propostition. I personally try and stay away from desperate women with children. The problem being she may actually really need milk money for the little tikes and if you don't give it to her someone else will (literally).

"Asks for cash to buy clothing, etc (most brazen)"

First of all I have never had a caleña come right out and ask me for cash and I have dated alot of caleñas. I know a lot of guys have said that this has happened to them but something else is going on IMHO. First of all you have to sit down and talk to the women before you take them anywhere. I have to personally feel some kind of chemistry with a woman right from the start or I lose interest. This might be why I have never experianced a caleña asking me for money. If you have a caleña that asks you for money before she is in a serious sexual relationship with you then you have some how not only managed to go out with a woman that has absolutely no interest in you but also has no respect for you. I think you should be asking yourself how that happened.

Well maybe I'm coming down a little to hard. I did take a girl out once to Chipichape to have a drink after all the stores were closed. We where sitting there at Cafetal and I don't know how she got on the subject but she said if you are going to buy me something you should buy me a bathing suit. I just laughted and told her that if she was thinking about making love to me that she should wait to the second date. Nothing more was said about it but I never did take her out again. But, I still think that if you have a lot of women asking you for money that there is something wrong with the way you are handling yourself. I would look into it at least.

Secondly if the two of you are in a mutually satisfying sexual relationship. By all means buy her an outfit or two but never just give her cash. You go out with her pick out the cloths that YOU want her to wear and then pay for them yourself. The way I look at it is if she is wearing cloths that you bought for her then that gives you the right to take them off any time you like;-)

"Got robbed or lost money coming to see you"

Don't worry about it. You're lucky the robber didn't kill you for having so little cash. And besides you know you don't need any money. I'm buying dinner and just call me when you get here so I can pay the cab.

"There is a group of email letter writers in Cartegena. I know for a fact that most of these girls have several men in various countries sending money and believing they have an exclusive relationship. In that regard, I will say be very careful before ever sending money to someone you've met via email."

I wouldn't worry about this. If guys are really sending money to a woman that they have never met, they probably don't have a lot of money anyway. Someone else probably already took most of it. It seems to me that not much more damage could be done.

"Don't start giving away your hard earned dollars until you know you have something very special. The well mannered women will find it difficult to ask for cash. The poorer girls tend to look for ways to hit your soft spot and start the requests for money."

I hate to see people sterio typing the poorer girls in Cali because I have personally met some real sweethearts. But, you have to realize that poor girls really do need things. And if you are doing them left and right you might want to give in and buy them something once in a while. You have to ask yourself at some point how did a poor little caleña that never worked a day in their lives get all the cloths and things that they wear. Somebody gave it to them that is how.

Just make sure you never break rule number one and you'll be OK. Before you know it you'll be able to tell the fake orgasims from the real ones. hehehe!!!

... in response to Ploys used to separate you from your mon..., posted by slojas1 on Dec 15, 2004


After meeting one Paisa she later gave me a call to ask for some "plata".  She told me it was for her sick mother who had just been hospitalized.  I asked how much and she said not much, only 150,000 pesos.  My response was, muy lo siento pero no tengo mucho dinero.  Needless to say I haven't heard from her since.  Thankfully, she isn't the norm here in Medellin.

Guys...do yourself a favor and any gringos that follow in your footsteps and don't fall for these ploys.  In so doing, these few manipulative Latinas become further spoiled.

Slojas, I would go further in your advice and recommend that under no circumstances should a guy send money to someone they haven't met in person and have a relationship with.  Period.