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Hi everyone:

    I must tell my story.  I'm Dolphin.  I went to Barranquilla this past June and met "Jane."  Things went well and I believed she was truly interested in me.  I asked her to marry me after ten days and she said yes.
    After I got back to the States, I started sending her $120.00 a month for English classes.  In the mean time, her e-mails to me were usually brief and not very personal.  Also, whenever I would call her, we would get disconnected every two minutes.  I did not know if she was hanging up on me, or if we were getting cut off from service.  She did use a cell phone.
    I finally confronted her about it and she said to me, "don't worry, I love you."  When she said this, it did not sound sincere to me, so I called a friend in Barranquilla to talk to her for me.  This person talked to "Jane" and said that she did not say much and that she should not talk to me.  "Jane" then sent me an e-mail saying not to talk to this person.  She also said in this email that she was going away for awhile and that now she was not sure about me.  This is one day after I Western Unioned her $120.00.  When I read the e-mail to my friend in BAQ, she said it sounds like "Jane" is trying to dump you.  Isn't that great!  Man, you really better watch out with this stuff.  I got F_ _ _ _ _!!!!! and it is not fun.  Trust me.  Anyway, thanks for reading my post.

Dolphin

... in response to Not getting married after all........, posted by dolphin on Aug 8, 2004

WHy put a time limit on love.  I knew my ex wife for five years before we got married, and we only stayed together for 10 months.  I once knew a lady 15 years my senior for one week and had a one year relationship that almost lead to marrage if not for her daughter, 2 years my junior.  I feel if "love", or "lust", hits you, then it just hits you.  Hell, go for it and whatever happens happen.  It wont kill you.  Yes you may lose a few hundred bucks here and there, and that can be a "B".  It just means you have to put in a few hours more at work to make it up.  What is the price to finding love.  Whatever you set it to be.  The point is, It's all on you and what you want.  You are a grown man and you know what you want.  However, most these guys are right.  You can tell if a woman wants you or not.
If she says "I love you" on the fist day with a stright face, sometimes me desperation.  Now, a woman that puts in the time to spend with you, does what she can to keep you interested, cook, clean your room, shows and tell you about her country, family, friends.  Ask questions about you like she is Dr Phil's daughter.  Well, then there is a woman who just might be the one.  I have two beauties in Columbia that I have known for a year and they have not asked for a single penny.  When I have been down they are there with the words to bring me back.  My only problem is that I like thick woman and not skinny women.  Good luck to you.  I'll be in BAQ in Sep with Sam and Sandra.  Peace!!!!

Who has more to say, the guy who has done 10 things in 10 days, or the guy who has done 10 things in 2 years

... in response to time limit, posted by Romello on Aug 10, 2004

and not skinny Women?? Why waste Your time and money traveling to SA in search of THICK Women for Love and Happiness when You can simply find countless available  sweet Cows right here in your own backyard?

... in response to Romello, Your only PLM is that You like ..., posted by gregas on Aug 10, 2004

The problem with that is that I am sick of these "COWS".  Every day it's the same material, BS.  Besides, A woman 36/24/40 is not a cow, but a thick woman.  50/36/46 is a cow

... in response to Re: Romello, Your only PLM is that You l..., posted by Romello on Aug 10, 2004

40 butt?? How about 50/22/32 :O)

... in response to Un HuH, posted by gregas on Aug 10, 2004

She is coming down face first.

... in response to Not getting married after all........, posted by dolphin on Aug 8, 2004

Did you file a K1?  

If not, don't feel bad.  The process worked out like it was supposed to. The fact that you asked her to marry you means nothing.  In my case, I had filed a K1 and it was almost ready to be issued before my lady backed out on me.  Now that hurt.

But even if you did file it, you can cancel the process but I wouldn't worry about a thing if it hadn't been filed.  

JUST FIND YOU ANOTHER LADY!!  

... in response to Not getting married after all........, posted by dolphin on Aug 8, 2004

Uh, What? You met her in June, knew her for 10 days, asked her to MARRY you, and she takes you for a ride and you got " F_ _ _ _ _!!!!! "?  
How do you figure that? Have you not read anything on this board for, oh say, the last 5 years? Haven't you read the stories and the dangers of making these snap decisions with people you don't know?
It's like I ask guys when they come to Cali and are talking about meeting and marrying a woman in a week.
"Would you ask a woman you only knew for a week in the States to marry you?" Answer, "no."
"Well, would you ask a woman you only knew for a week to marry you AND you two did not speak the same language?" Answer, "no."
"So, why would you do it Colombia?"
Answer; they never have an answer.
Did this outcome really surprise you? You sent a woman you really didn't know money and know SHE's having second thoughts about you? You can't really talk on the phone because of some problem and your writing efforts are not returning what you wanted.
Dude, are you seriously that naive? Anyone can fool you with the way they act for a little while, say 10 days. But after awhile, their true personality comes out.
Yeah, you got taken, but it was your fault. Be lucky it only cost you a little money.

... in response to Re: Not getting married after all.........., posted by Traveller on Aug 9, 2004

Dolphin didn't you say you sat in the office for 4 days meeting no one? So at most that would be 6 days and I am betting those were not 24 hour days. Your trip report had concerns written all over it.
Traveller is direct but I believe he said it in the way you need to hear it.

As noted by others you could use some hand holding support and you may want to consider Calipro offer for help.

By the way Traveller I love hearing about your business experience with Colombians I can laugh because they happened to you. Now it’s your turn, I win more than I lose but here is one of each.

Win:
I get a bill that is almost 200,000 pesos more than the negotiated rate. We call the sales lady and she says sorry but we can not do anything about this because the invoice is all ready in the system. Well I know systems and this is a ridiculous answer, so I have someone call them back again and they still won’t budge. Now this is for my DSL so I can’t just not pay and risk getting cut off. So I collect the amount I should be paying them and have someone go their office and demand to speak to someone who can change the “system” because the owner is not going to pay more than the negotiate rate. All ends well but see the effort for something that should be cut and dry.

Lose:
Karina negotiates a rate with a hotel and after giving them business for about 10 months I am asking for lower rates. We make a deal they cuts my expenses 5% and they tell me I have the lowest corporate rates possible. So I am pleased, about 1 week later I see my rates went up as before; and I say what’s going on I just negotiated my rates down one week ago. And they say yes we know, but the rates went up this week.

Instead of calling Colombia a “third world country” they should be calling it an “out of this world country.”

Jamie
Engage the Exotic
Http://International-Introductions.com

... in response to Dolphin's "10 days" and Travel..., posted by Jamie on Aug 10, 2004

“out of this world country.” Yeah, sometimes you wonder what planet the business people are from. Even Avianca. LoL!

... in response to Re: Not getting married after all.........., posted by Traveller on Aug 9, 2004

forget reading this board, how about using a little common sense.

I'm sure dolphin is a nice person, but he's pretty foolish when it comes to interacting with women (we all are, to an extent)

... in response to Re: Re: Not getting married after all......, posted by Troy on Aug 9, 2004

Yeah, true enough.
I mean, I go back to high school mentality when I get around a seriously pretty woman, but hey!, I'm not going to ask her to marry me after a date or two or three or twenty or fifty until maybe I get to know what kind of person she is. Geez!

... in response to Not getting married after all........, posted by dolphin on Aug 8, 2004

you're an idiot.

... in response to let me summarize, posted by Troy on Aug 9, 2004

Nice post Troy I'm sure it took alot of thought. I'm gonna use the same logic...why don't you go "F" youself.

... in response to Re: let me summarize, posted by Craig on Aug 9, 2004

without the book, its not so easy.  Is it?

... in response to Yes Craig . . ., posted by burbuja2 on Aug 9, 2004

I thought I taught you a lesson last time you idiot. First please don't write unless you get permission from Steve. How do you have time to write when you should be reading more books to help you with you first trip to Colombia? Ask Steve mabe he will give you the ok to go alone.

... in response to Re: Yes Craig . . ., posted by Craig on Aug 10, 2004

That's Mr. Infotainment to you.

... in response to Not getting married after all........, posted by dolphin on Aug 8, 2004

Hey Dolph - i think you got some good advice below. You are a nice guy but i did not feel good about your relationship and how you were going about things but we all make mistakes - i sure have and spent a lot more than you on this project. My suggestion is to not give up and take some more spanish lessons - this will give you a leg up on things. You might also consider some other agencies, places. i would be glad to give you some ideas of tours, agencies in other cities.

... in response to Not getting married after all........, posted by dolphin on Aug 8, 2004

I wish that my first mistake in Colombia only cost me $120.00. You did get off easy. The bottoem line is, never send a Latina money until you get to know her a lot better, and, of course, never propose after only ten days. Some would argue that one should be sexually involved before sending money, but I don't think this is always true. At least be confident that she loves you before sending her money. Most ladies will respect you for being firm.

Zack

... in response to Not getting married after all........, posted by dolphin on Aug 8, 2004

I got engaged after ten days and it cost me WAY more that $360.  It was a very inexpensive lesson.

Make no mistake.  Even when you find the right woman, it will be expensive.  None of us want to spend money on someone whi is using us.

However, in a counrty where selling sex is accepted, many women exgage in this as barter rather than as pros.  Consider it a cheap lesson and since Latinas are the most sexy women in the world, make a plan to go back and find one who is sincerely looking for what you are looking for.  

Buena  suerte!!!

... in response to Not getting married after all........, posted by dolphin on Aug 8, 2004

Normally a dolphin can handle a shark, but sometimes a shark gets the upper hand.  That's life in the big ocean.

Steve

... in response to Not getting married after all........, posted by dolphin on Aug 8, 2004

They can't lie worth a damn. They give us all kinds of clues to let us know that they aren't all that interested. But, we keep looking the other way thinking it can't be.Heck the woman kept hanging up on Dolphin and sending short e-mails eventhough he was sending her money. It appears that she isn't even all that interested in money. Give me the number of that little sweet heart.  

Sure they'll gobble up a hand full of worms for a green card. But, 99% of them would never dream of sleeping with a guy for years to get a green card. They are pretty honest in away. Personally I haven't met a single colombiana capable of fooling a guy for more than two years to get a green card no matter how stupid the guy is that she married. I think you'll have to go to Russia for that kind of long range planning because most colombianas couldn't see 6 months into the future if their life depended on it.

In case some of you don't know it already, colombianas (well at least caleñas) are in touch with their sexuality. They desire men and they value intimacy and the pleasure they get from it.

You can't find love in 10 days but you can find lust and infatuation. Listen, there is no way in hell most of us are going to be able to spend enough time in a foreign country to ever really know if the woman we are bringing over is the one that we will be married to the rest of our lives. But, we sure can find out if they are sexually compatable with us. You guys need to work on having a good time with these women and not try and sell yourself to them so much. Trust me when I say if you go out and have a great time with them and rock their world in the sack, they will listen to you. When you send them money to buy air fare they'll buy the tickets even if they are a month behind on rent.

Forget the conversations about how their lives will be so much better here and the oportunitites that they will have. They don't get it and do you really want them to?

What ever you do, don't act so desperate to propose when you hardly know her. Keep them guessing and don't turn into putty in their hands. Above all else these women want a MAN!
Forget all the hype about latinas not wanting a macho man. It takes years and years of sever beatings before they come to that point and by then they are to messed up in the head to be any good to anybody.

Hey don't worry about it Dolphin, I'm trying to get some time off in December to travel to Cali and I'll be in Cali for the TLC tour next June. If you want we can hang out and I'll try and help you get hooked up. Don't let this little set back get you down. A hundred and twenty bucks is a drop in the bucket when you are playing this game.

... in response to Gotta love those colombianas......, posted by Calipro on Aug 9, 2004

"Personally I haven't met a single colombiana capable of fooling a guy for more than two years to get a green card no matter how stupid the guy is that she married."

Very true, even for more than one year is difficult for them.

"Forget all the hype about latinas not wanting a macho man. It takes years and years of sever beatings before they come to that point and by then they are to messed up in the head to be any good to anybody."

I agree completely that is takes some beatings for them to wake up but I disagree that by then they are too messed up to be any good to anybody. I would take a lady in her late twenties who is tired of the bad boys ANY DAY over a 22 year-old hottie who doesn't appreciate a nice man. And in my experience, these ladies are better catches, and most are not messed up, but rather more mature and sure of what they want.

... in response to Gotta love those colombianas......, posted by Calipro on Aug 9, 2004

Truer words were never spoken.  My ex Colombian told me and showed me exactly how it was going to be.  She let my own unwillingness to stop, look and lsiten work against me.  

What she was doing and her goals (a relationship not being one of them) were obvious and I chose to ignore reality and dig a deeper and deeper hole.

They don't lie worth a damn and many don't ever try to lie becasue they don't have to.  I believed what I chose to believe and it required very little deception on my ex wife's part.

... in response to Gotta love those colombianas......, posted by Calipro on Aug 9, 2004

CaliPro:

You wrote: "send them money to buy air fare".  Why?

I've bought several tickets for Colombianas and I never had to send them money to do it.  I called the airline and gave them my credit card number.  That way there's no risk of getting screwed for $500.

One time there was lady from Peru who wanted to meet me when I was in Bogota (bad idea).  I couldn't buy her ticket in advance but she weaseled some kind of deal to get the ticket and I promissed to reimburse her.  When we met in Bogota I handed her the cash.  No problema.

Steve

... in response to Air fare, posted by DallasSteve2 on Aug 9, 2004

I sent money to my girl friend to buy tickets to bogota. They were just so much cheaper than buying them in the states.

Maybe I could have called the travel agent in Cali up directly but I wasn't worried about it at the time. Anyway I still haven't figured out how to buy tickets on Aero Republica from the states.

Give me a clue.

... in response to Not getting married after all........, posted by dolphin on Aug 8, 2004

Dolphin, when it comes to Colombia, you are simply a fish out of the water.

... in response to Not getting married after all........, posted by dolphin on Aug 8, 2004

Yup,
If they love you they will let you know.You start getting any signals to the contrary its a good time to find someone else.Otherwise you will be asked to believe the biggest load of nonsense to  justify their actions.Just look at the actions.
Wellcome to the club.If a guiy is not extremely lucky he will probably go through a few of these deals before finding the right girl.
My opinion is if you are sending money there should be ZERO nonsense,unexplained things,poorly explained things or even a gut feeling she reqally doesn't love me.The right girl will not do this to you.

Pete

... in response to Re: Not getting married after all.........., posted by Pete E on Aug 8, 2004

n/t

... in response to Not getting married after all........, posted by dolphin on Aug 8, 2004

Hey Dolphin,

Sorry to hear your situation did not work out. If you follow this board on a regular basis, one reaccuring theme about this whole process is ...take your time!!!

This has been here said a million times before but I guess it is worth repeating again:

"You would never get engage to a woman here after 10 days? Why does anyone think that going to South America is different?"

Chalk one up to experience, brush yourself off and move on!!!I hope you go back to South America soon buddy. There are many beautiful women there ..heck..give Lima a try!!

Good Luck!!!