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Monday morning I slept in.  I was still under the weather from whatever I caught in MG.  Later, I did some banking, sent emails to women I planned to meet in Recife, tried to deal with my phone again.  I didn't explore the city this time as I had during my previous trip.  I took it easy in the evening too and got a good night's sleep.  I left for Recife the next morning.

I was disappointed that I did not meet even one new lady in Salvador.  I like this city.  This was my fourth trip to the place.  Its history, culture, beauty, and its beaches made me want to have a namorada from Salvador so I could visit often.  Still, I can't complain about the outcome since I found that a lady whom I already knew is now available.

I read the comments that strongly suggest I forget about this woman.  I am going to repeat that you are not getting the entire story from these posts.  One, I am censoring things that are too personal or too uninteresting to most potential readers.  For example, babies often get passed around from one woman to another.  The niece's baby, a 3 month old, got passed around and I got to see how my friend handled the infant and the amount and type of affection she gives to babies.  I don't know of anyone who has posted anything that would lead me to think they were interested in reading about that type of thing.  Two, not everything can be expressed in words.  How this friend sighed with exasperation, laughs, touches me, reacts to my touching her, the amount and type of eye contact, I am not able to express, and therefore have not expressed in my posts.  However, that is extremely important information when judging how to interpret a person's words.  I remember there was a thread, either here or on LWL, about how much informational content there was in non-verbal versus verbal communication.  My point is that I have far more information than the readers of my posts about the women I met.  Consequently, my judgement and opinion about their compatibility with me is the more credible.

I am also going to respond here to the criticisms that I am not being aggressive enough in pursuing these women.  I am not quite sure what the posters in question mean when they say I need to make my move.  There are a long list of threads about how we men make our moves too quickly.  Am I being encouraged to become the fodder for yet another such thread?  My point is that after assessing what I have to offer women, what I am looking for in women, and Brazil's culture and environment, I have decided upon a strategy I think is best for presenting myself to Brazilian women.  You should be reminded that not all Latinas are identical.  The same way recent threads have noted differences between Colombian and Peruvian women, there are differences between Brazilian and Colombian, and Mexican, and Dominican women.  The best strategy for approaching Colombian women may not be the best one for approaching Brazilian women.  This was my sixth trip to Brazil.  My previous experiences and those of other men who have made many trips to Brazil, have led me and ALL those other men to conclude that, in Brazil with women who are looking for relationships as opposed to just money, nice guys finish first!

... in response to Brazil Trip - Salvador - Epilogue, posted by Brazilophile on Jun 16, 2004

[This message has been edited by Hoda]

trip report BP...

I find it somewhat amusing how anyone can say, that you lack confidence. We can count on one hand, the guys that would travel to multiple cities in Colombia, DR & Brazil without the help or hook-up of a guide and/or agency. You've studied both spanish & portugese. This has allowed you to "feel & live" the cultures of the ladies you are visiting. From what I've learned from your post, you're not just about a booty hunt(not that you haven't noticed a nice bunda...lol), but an honest search for a life-mate. One, that can't be made within a couple of trips. Your patience mirrors that of another poster who also took his time, by moving to and learning about the country, culture & the different types of women there, before he found & was found by his life-mate.

You've made mention of the interaction of your lady friends with their family & friends. Guys, BP is giving you the classic example of seeing how your lady treats/acts towards those within her circle. A circle that you will be part of when/if you two hook-up. You have an easy-going way of dealing with the bumps (no-shows, immigration processing)of quest, that would frazzle most travelers. Loved the way you delt with the rude people at the airport (using your 6'5" frame & telling them to back the hell up...in so many words, lol). Bottom line..only you, can determine what is best & works for you. My wife, has mentioned more than once that your patience in your quest & the respect that you have for the ladies & their culture will be rewarded.

BTW BP....your previous trips to Brazil would be the perfect guide to those who wish to visit cities in Brazil. Everything from the hotels, airport drama & your walking tours, had me feeling that I was with you. It's kool that you don't tell every dayyum detail of your personal interactions with your lady friends.....what "gentleman" would? One of the biggest myths in dealing with ladies down south, is that you have to be some sort of swash-buckling, I'm here & I'm in control cowboy/ganster in order to be successful. Nothing could be further from the truth. NONE of the married guys that I have had the pleasure of meeting are "Thugs or Cowboys". So hold your course & handle your business......

Peace

... in response to First Place - First Class, posted by Hoda on Jun 17, 2004

Don't let your frindship get in the way of the truth.

This girl is a player.

... in response to First Place - First Class, posted by Hoda on Jun 17, 2004

Good follow up post and I agree with a few of your points. I am by no means a gangster or swashbuckler if that was your inference. I was a student athlete, have two degrees, educated in Europe and US and very well traveled. I do know a confident man when I see one and BP is not one. You see, a woman is a woman is a woman. You are either a confident man that will make any woman feel secure just being in your presence or you are just a nice guy who will never come to her mind if she ever feels threatened. This factor alone gives many bad boys the edge over any perceived nice guy.
Nice guys certainly don't finish first in fact, they hardly ever finish at all! Confident men finish first and if you are nice on top of it, you rule the roost. It is not about sacking as many women as you can if you are on an honest quest. Remember, I have been on this quest for some time and just recently SELECTED the woman I wanted to be with. Don't let friendship or familiarity cloud your judgement. I spoke of a good friend who accompanied me on three trips down south. He was just too damn nice and like BP he ended up with no one! That is not a problem anymore as he listened to me and realized that the 'nice quality' can be perceived as a fault by even the humblest of women. He is now in the enviable position of chosing who he'd like to be with. BP has the prerequisites down better than most..ie culture, language, etc, these by themselves does not a confident man make. I'll be willing to wager that in two years he'll still be in the same position if he isn't willing to acknowledge the 'niceness fault'. He definitely sounds like a great guy and I am sure we would have a great time if we hung out, but the fact is, he is still ALONE. If either of you are ever in S. Florida and want to visit South Beach the drinks and tour are on me.
J

... in response to Re: First Place - First Class, posted by JSlo on Jun 17, 2004

kiss my ......  It was two trips    hahahahahaahahah

... in response to Re: First Place - First Class, posted by JSlo on Jun 17, 2004

[This message has been edited by Hoda]

I hear ya J...

You're absolutely right, that sometimes being "nice or too nice" can be detrimental in today's social environment. My bad, if I lead you to believe that there is a standard to what the make up of what a confident man is, or if you felt I was placing you in any category. True he's alone, but it's by his choice. One has to deal with the ladies that they're meeting. Yes, BP is a friend of mine, but I wouldn't attribute an alledged "niceness fault" as the reason he's still single. We all have different criteria & time tables in our search. You've mentioned yourself, that you've been searching for quite awhile, until recently. BTW, congrats to you & your lady. BP has always made it point to include vacation/learning in his trips down south. If he meets someone fine....if he doesn't, atleast he's had a good vacation/learning experience.

LOL...I wouldn't bet against him, if I were you. Thanks for the invite. Never been to S.Florida, except for connecting flights to Cali :-)

... in response to Good points..., posted by Hoda on Jun 17, 2004

I really think that is the best way to go about it. Go on VACATION. . . .if you meet somebody. . . . .great. . . .if not you enjoyed yourself, experienced a new place, maybe learned about the culture etc.

BP doesn't seem like he feels any pressure to "hook up". When he meets a woman that makes him want to commit. . . .he will.

... in response to Re: Good points..., posted by Ralph on Jun 18, 2004

Hey Ralph...

  You hit it on the head in regards to BP...."he doesn't feel pressured" to hook up. I remember you telling me & others back in the day on LWL...about going south, as a vacation, without "pressing" to meet someone.

Peace....

... in response to Good points..., posted by Hoda on Jun 17, 2004

I am sure that BP will do just fine with the women, but I still maintain that will happen when he turns up the confidence factor just a notch. I perceive him to be a classy person and I wish him the best. I do want to apologize for any of my statements that were out of line. Bottom line is that he is a class act. However, that does not give him a free ride. I'll still call them as I see them but with a little more discretion.

... in response to Good points..., posted by Hoda on Jun 17, 2004

I'm not sure if nice or too nice are relevant criteria.  Finding the right woman is extremely difficult and takes time and patience.  

I know there are times when throwing your weight around is a bad idea.  If I get poor service in a restaurant and react like I would here, my wife considers that extremely rude.  Latinas are extremely conscious of appearances and being calm and refined in public are essential.  

I think anyone who learns the language(s) and travels independantly is doing a lot of things right.  The range on this board is from people who have successful marriage with Latinas to people who don't have the "huevos" to ever trawel to Latin America.  

The hardest thing for any of us would be to looking into the eyes of a beautiful women who professes to love us and remain objective in figuring out if she is playing us.

... in response to Re: Good points..., posted by kented on Jun 17, 2004

My novia also gets "embarassed" when I complain about horrible service. I am pretty easy to please, and only complain when the service really sucks. In the DR they rarely complain. . . .hence the bad service. Funny how they don't understand that putting up with horrible service gets you MORE horrible service.

... in response to he he he he, posted by Ralph on Jun 18, 2004

I CR, they add 10% to your bill automatically.  I never tip more and you can't NOT tip when you receive poor service.

... in response to Re: Good points..., posted by kented on Jun 17, 2004

So true.

... in response to Re: Re: Good points..., posted by dolphin on Jun 17, 2004


On my first trip to Bogotá I was staying at Charlie's Place and decided to come downstairs to find out why there were so many ladies voices coming from the waiting room.  Curious George was surprised when he walked into a bevy full of beauties.  Seeing so many Latinas all staring at me made me take a deep breath but after a brief introduction by a staff member, I decided to let the ladies talk.  After all, I was the only gringo in the room.  So I said good bye, turned and started down the hallway when it hit me like a brick...what in the tarnation was I doing leaving that room!  I decided to do an about face and marched back into that room and politely started to engage those ladies in conversation.  That simple decision paid off big time as one beautiful Latina confided in me later that she thought I had a lot of courage coming back into the room.  She was impressed and I had a some very nice dates with her the next few days.

I don't think BP is in any way, shape or form lacking in confidence.  He has been to Brasil after all six times.  Each guy has to be himself but it does help to catch yourself especially when you first go to a place like Colombia/Brasil to realize that the rules are played a little differently as compared to the States.

I think BP will find a special lady sooner or later.  Thanks again man for posting those TR's.

Pablo

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Good points..., posted by pablo on Jun 18, 2004

The rules are different and the game is played differently in LA.  LA VERDAD!!!

... in response to Brazil Trip - Salvador - Epilogue, posted by Brazilophile on Jun 16, 2004

You should be reminded that not all Latinas are identical. """"""nice guys finish first"

Women are women.  If you get this one to the USA

You are going to finsh last.