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There was this old married couple who had been happily married for 40
years! The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of loudly farting every morning as he awoke.  The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off as it
was making her sick.  He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was
perfectly natural.  She told him to see a Doctor as she was concerned that one day he was going to fart his guts out.  The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

Then on Christmas morning as she was downstairs preparing the turkey
for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had just put the turkey innards and neck, gizzards, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.
She took the bowl and went upstairs where her hubby was sound asleep
and gently pulling back the bed covers she slid down his underpants at the back and emptied the bowl of turkeyguts into them.

Several hours later she heard her husband awaken with his usual arise
ripping and Trumpeting and this was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran to the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing with tears in her eyes.  After years of torture she reckoned she had got her own back.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.  She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.  He said, "Honey, you were right. All those years you warned me and I didn't listen toyou."
"What do you mean," asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts
out and today it finally happened.  But ...  by the grace of God, some Vaseline and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

... in response to I maybe out of topic, but here's one for..., posted by Morena on Aug 16, 2001

Morena,
 I'm going to have to sleep lightly now for fear of Melly trying this one on me.  :)
                                    SteveG

... in response to I maybe out of topic, but here's one for..., posted by Morena on Aug 16, 2001

Morena,

That was a great post! In this case, I think it was totally appropriate to lighten things up, so we can move on. I couldn't find any good fart jokes for Kevin. ;o))

Dave H.