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A friend and I were at a restaurant yesterday when in walked 2 latin couples. The women were  beautiful and early 20's . One was a dead ringer for Appolonia(Purple rain).But the men looked quite average,one slightly overweight, also 20's. They looked like they were having a lot of fun.
    I am engaged,but I still appreciate beauty. My friend who is single and not  bad looking says"what gives"? These pretty latin girls probably get hit on every single day of their lives. They can have any guy they want,why is it that they usually choose pretty average latin guys?
   I can't figure that out either. When my ex-Brazilian girlfriend left, it was for a latino DJ who was unreliable. Another latina left me and began dating a  latin guy who was older,and did not have much money. Why do so many complain about latin men . Yet, given a chance they usually choose their own?

... in response to Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 14, 2003

In the early 1990s, I had wanted a Puerto Rican woman. No one particular woman, but ANY Puerto Rican woman that I was attracted to. I didn't even care if she had kids or not. I used to go to the annual Puerto Rican Day Parade (each June) in order to meet these ladies. But as time went on, I noticed that they weren't "feelin'" me. I don't mean to sound 'cliche' about it, but I was (am) under the impression that they didn't want to be bothered with me because I'm Black. Being that I wasn't a Puerto Rican (or Latin) male, they didn't want to know me (better). I also noticed that many (not ALL) of these females that I met were 'down' with those guys who were into that "bad boy," "macho man," or "thug" non-sense. I have to admit, it hurt me. Nowadays, when it comes to females here (in NYC), I no longer try to deal with 'Boricquas.' It doesn't make sense to try to persue women who have no interest in me. At least Colombianas and Dominicanas (in my experience) treat me better. Later.

... in response to Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Keith Smith on Nov 16, 2003

When I first began venturing to Latin destinations I scratched Puerto Rico off the list first thing. Why visit a Latin nation with American prices and American attitudes??? Besides, many Colombians have told me they mangle Spanish worse than anybody.

... in response to Re: Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Cali vet on Nov 16, 2003

Well CaliVet, I visited Puerto Rico twice ('92 and '93). It's a beautiful island, but I really didn't think the ladies there were  "all that." Yes, it was (and probably still is) terribly expensive. i have no desire to return there. When I was referring to the "Boricquas," I was talking about the ones (I met) already living here (in NYC). Later.

... in response to Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Keith Smith on Nov 16, 2003

To keep the odds in our favor we need to go where we are appreciated.Why beat your head agaisnt the wall where you are not?
Fortunately there are good solutions.
Good luck.

Pete

... in response to Re: Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Pete E on Nov 16, 2003

Hi Pete. I totally agree with you. Thanks! Best of luck to you, too.

... in response to Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 14, 2003

I agree with the guys who mention that most people are comfortable having relationships with partners of their own background - cultural & socio-economic. After moving to Miami, my best Colombian girlfriend left me a month before our planned marriage, and later acquired a Puerto Rican boyfriend.

I've noticed that most Latina immigrants here in California (mostly Mexican & Central American) tend to end up with Latino partners. That's who they spend time with, in work, school, & family/social gatherings. When they are exposed to gringos, usually through work, they tend to be more open to intercultural relationships, but not always.

As an adult ESL teacher, and not bad looking (grin), I've attracted my share of attention from my immigrant students, particularly Latinas and Koreans. There are many ladies who like my fair skin and eyes, just as I'm attracted to darker women. But not all react the same to me. The hottest ones (especially Mexicanas, I've noticed) are naturally the most selective, i.e., stuck-up. And many Latinas have suggested that, at 5'8, 140, I'm too skinny; they like men "mas gordo".

I get the most attention when I'm abroad, that is, as a rare commodity in the foreign Latina marketplace.

... in response to Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 14, 2003

So are the latinas more prone to temptation with latinos once here and married to a gringo?. Assuming the latino
is a nice guy. If they are it does not say much about their
( the woman's) character.

... in response to Re: Why Latin men?, posted by chevy on Nov 14, 2003

I think they are more likely to get each others attention.My wife meets these Colombianos all over.They spot her as a Colombiana.Of course most off them don't have a pot to p!ss in,so if she is smart she will pass on them.
Funny how the kind of a guy who is all over down there gets so interesting here.I would have thought a certain Colombiano would have rung that out of her.The guy who got her pregnant and wouldn't marry her,or help at all with his child.And hit her to boot.And he was not good looking at all,I saw his picture.Whatever. I don't really care what she does after I am gone and I don't have to know about it.Except - - if I come to visit my dog I don't want to be seeing any Colombianos.
And to answer your question,once they have all the material things they want a toy boy could be an option.
But - I really think most guys will not have this problem if they find a latina that really loves them.That could change but its a good start.

pete

... in response to Re: Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Pete E on Nov 14, 2003

Pete,
   You are right about not having to worry about a woman leaving if she really loves you . I have made mistakes in the past and tried to make my "fantasy" woman fall in love. tried everything I could.But realized she either loves you or she does'nt. You cannot make a person feel what is not there.No matter how beautiful a woman is you have to have the strength to walk away. You deserve better.
   But life is funny. Eventually you will find a person who thinks you are the greatest,and loves you as you should be loved. Then, you will wonder why you put up with lukewarm feelings in the first place.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 15, 2003

Thanks for the support and kind words.
Yes you are right,they either love you or they don't.If they do you have total confidence in them,don't really worry about them at all.If they don't nothing you can do works.As I posted before I had  learned that lesson before,painfully so,but I forgot it  when I went to Colombia,I thought it could be superceded by if I can improve her life enough she will automatically be very greatfull,happy and love me.Wrong.Old lesson still applies.
But having made that mistake it has been very difficult because I love her and don't want to let her go.And being an empathetic person I always wanted to believe her and look out for her and not do anything to hurt her.
I had brazenly said if I am making a mistake,and lots of people told me I was,I would just send her back.They were right,but It wasn't that easy.I couldn't do it.
And yes I know this mistake has not only been painfull but kept me from finding someone who could really love me.But I know I can still do that,a little older and wiser.And I will,I am confident of it.I don't want to be going through this again in 5 or 10 years.So I need to be much wiser and much more carefull.

Pete

... in response to Re: Why Latin men?, posted by chevy on Nov 14, 2003

My ex-Colombiana left me for a guy from Lebanon.  Who she left him for I have no idea.

Steve

... in response to Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 14, 2003

Maybe you speak Spanish.  Maybe those particular women speak English.  I don't know.  However, in many cases Latinas choose Latinos because they both speak Spanish, and the gringos don't.

I'm reminded of the opening scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Belloq confronts Indiana Jones surrounded by a tribe of Hovitos warriors.

INDY: Too bad they don't know you like I do, Belloq.

BELLOQ:(smiles) Yes, too bad.  You could warn them...if only you spoke Hovitos.

Steve

... in response to You could warn them...., posted by DallasSteve2 on Nov 14, 2003

You speak spanish and your wife left you right??

My ex-wife dated a caleño about two weeks after we split. He beat her so bad that she couldn't work for over two weeks and she was black and blue for months. I americanized her so much that no latino would ever want her and taught her english so well that she will probably never go back to her own culture. Believe it or not when I talk to her, she tells me she is afraid to go back to Cali even for a visit. She really believes all the scary things they say about Colombia here.

You want to hear something funny? She even asked me if it was true that the criminals were cuting womens implants out and selling them. I don't think she will ever go back.

... in response to Hey speak for yourself...., posted by Calipro on Nov 14, 2003

CaliPro

I didn't say speaking Spanish guaranteed success in the relationship.  I'm just saying it's an important reason why Latinas often choose Latinos.  Not the only reason, mind you, but am important one.

I can't imagine implants would have enough value to steal them.  But I have read a horrific story about someone who got drunk and woke up in a bathtub with a note saying that he should go to the hospital because his kidneys had been removed.  I also read later that's not a true story, but then again...

Steve

... in response to Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 14, 2003

Rambling thoughts:
I presume your recent experience was in the US,not a latin country.
Particularly if they are both foreign born latins they can have a connection that is unique.Not only do they speak the language but understand nueances(?) of the language.Humor jives.There can be a fast banter back and forth that could probably not happen with a non latin.Also the women will have a special connection to men from their own country.Just being a Colombian gives lots in common and lots to talk about.
But there are personality charicteristics common to latin men latin women like.Confidence is one.Maybe its upbringing or just having alot of women available but latinos will be confident in most cases.They like to joke and flirt,easy banter,humor comes easy.We gringos tend to take ourselves too seriously.Similar to confidence is attitude.I am great,so are you(the woman) but not as great as me.
I watched a skinny little average lookig latino in a bar one time(in the US),talking to this girl,his date,an asian girl.I couldn't hear what he was saying but you could just see he was flirting and thought he was gods gift to women.I don't know if she was going for it but it sure had her attention.
In Colombia the girls can be attracted to Colombianos for many of the same reasons they can decide they are bad news.Confidence,not giving a damn,having several girls going at once.But after being left with a baby or 2 while Don Juan is chasing other women they can get real tired of it.We tend to be attracted to what we can't get,so these guys are at least a challenge.But many a latina has said No Mas.But bring her here where she has everything and the same type guy might be an interesting diversion.
In Colombia though,we,gringos and other foreigners tend to be the hot item.Why?Well we will have alot more money to spend,like night and day difference.And we seem rich to them or they think we offer opportunity.Were kind of exotic,different.Poor Colombianos,like poor Colombianas,are a dime a dozen.Life is tough.We offer an alternative to that tough life.
My wife was watching Pedro el Escamoso(Colombian humerous novella).There was this scene in a bar.The were 2 gringos.The girls were going for them.This Colombiano sitting at the table thought he would show up the gringos and picked up the check.He took one look at it,got this pained expression and put it back down.
One thing is for sure,if you are in Colombia your novia or wife is not going to get all excited because there is another Colombian.They are all around you.
When I was in Panama I was at a very nice bar/restaurant.There was this table of young couples.One young guy was sloppy fat but had a good looking girlfriend or wife.The guy was talking like he was a big shot,very self important.I thought maybe he is from a rich family,maybe thats the attraction.

Pete

... in response to Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 14, 2003

Don't let one night on the town skew your perception of reality. I'm not a sociologist so I won't quote any exact figures. But, I have seen stats. that suggest latinos have interacial relationships 4 times more than whites or blacks. Not only is the latino population growing very fast they are spreading like no other.

My ex-caleña left for another gringo. He is about three years younger than me. I guess that's why she left. HeHeHe!!

... in response to Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Calipro on Nov 14, 2003

Another one I read recently was that of not only dealing with other races but "same sex" cheating.  Kind of a new meaning to the 'machista' thing - one latina that was loyal had contracted AIDS and was questioned how she contracted the disease.  At first, "No way my husband is gay!" - after a little pause - "well now that I think of it, anything's possible".

... in response to Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Calipro on Nov 14, 2003

Calipro,
      I certainly can understand your situation. I could accept being left for a doctor,especially with perks like free plastic surgery:)Besides your ex, I don't know who these latinas are dating.
  But any middle to upper class area is usually full of cookie cutter average bleached blond wives with short haircuts. You would think most of those neighborhoods would be full of gorgeous foreign women.There are certainly enough already in the U.S. Especially since latins are the largest growing minority here.
        Mark

... in response to Re: Re: Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 14, 2003

Most guys that I know that stuck with cookie cutter bleached blond wives have given up already. They have come to terms with their situation and just shake their heads when I talk to them about Colomiba. They don't even want to see what they are missing because in their minds there is no way out.

I don't want to make you guys sick but let me give you an expample. My mother is a 62 year old fairly unattractive women and when we are out more than once I have seen 60 some year old well to do guys hit on her. I look at them and I can't imagine what is going though their minds. They could get something 100 times no 1000 times better in Cali. The problem is they don't know any better and are now simply satified with what they can get here, which isn't much.

... in response to Not really......, posted by Calipro on Nov 14, 2003

[This message has been edited by mar33]

calipro,
       Did'nt you say your father is married to a 20 year old who he had smuggled in from Mexico(ok, that was funny)?      
  To be fair,should'nt you also wonder what goes through her mind because she can get a 100x better now that she is in the U.S.? Or perhaps you think she should just be grateful and not think.
         Well, maybe she likes very old men, in the way some men(lord knows why) are into very old ladies in their 60's and up. There are magazines and websites geared towards men who are attracted to ladies old enough to be their grandmothers. So there is obviously someone out there for everyone.Though it may certainly not be in our taste.
    Now, there are also many men who preffer a woman be fluent in his language like me,so Cali is not the answer for everyone. I thought it was important my fiance be able to communicate with friends and family in English. Also, I think the most important part of a relationship is communication. Unfortunately, though I grew up around  latins,Spanish does not seem easy for me and I am sure many others.
   I have often thought it is too bad there could not be a successful agency with pretty foreign women already  in the U.S.Whoever can pull that off would make a mint. Just the business side of me thinking out loud:)
          mark

... in response to Re: Not really......, posted by mar33 on Nov 15, 2003

[This message has been edited by Calipro]

He never married her. Actually he got sick of her after a few months and drove her back to Mexico. I didn't think 62 year old guys could get sick of 20 year olds but he proved me wrong. He kind of pissed me off because I told him if it didn't work out I knew some mexican she could live with here because she told me once that she didn't want to go back.

When it comes to Caleñas I think it is very important that she learn english so she can really enjoy and recieve the full benefits of living in the U.S. I have plenty of mexicano friends that advised me not to teach her english and never buy more than one car. According to them your wife has no business leaving the house if you are at work. I never agreed with that kind of thinking. I never want to be so hard up that I have to keep a woman down to keep her.

Although I would suggest that any guy that has a desire to marry a spanish speaking woman should learn spanish. You will never understand her 100% if you don't. The things that they say in spanish that they will never say in english are HUGE clues as to how they really think. Also it makes the relationship that much better and intimate. You can say "I love you" a hundred times and it doesn't equal one "Te amo".

... in response to Not really......, posted by Calipro on Nov 14, 2003

Geez Calipro, you would even devalue your own mother to make a point? Do you have any natural affection, or is everyone just a body? What is sick is not the idea of 60 year olds in love, but that I feel like I have to defend your mother. What's wrong with this picture?

... in response to Your own mother?, posted by surfscum on Nov 15, 2003

I think I understand what he was saying.We can have these attitudes about older women but usually we try not to think of the older women that we are close to in that light.
But its true.He was telling a story.These guys were hitting on his mom and he either objectively or coldly take your pick,admitted his mother was not very attractive.
I was talking to my 64 year old sister(she is a real sweetheart,looks about 50) a few days ago trying to describe why I was going to Cali.I try to put it in a way that doesn't directly knock older women.I just told her that as I had gotten older I had not  changed my expectations about what I wanted in a woman,and going to Cali I don't have to.
I think she is very worried about me.Her daughterin Law is A Colombiana from a wealthy family in Tolima.They are very afraid of crime.Her bother was kidnapped in Spain by Colombians and held for rasnsom.Itcost the oldman many 1000's of $$ to get him released.
This lady,maria,tried to call me yesterday and left a message.I'm sure she is upset because she really likes Rocio but I think she wants to warn me again.

Pete

... in response to Your own mother?, posted by surfscum on Nov 15, 2003

From old age or the old geezers that hit on her?

... in response to Defender her from what??, posted by Calipro on Nov 15, 2003

You know something calipro my day was going down hill until I read this
you are sometimes a funny guy!!!

... in response to Your own mother?, posted by surfscum on Nov 15, 2003

[This message has been edited by beenthere]

Surfscum,
I would love to make a follow-up to YOUR post, but due to a "gentlemen's" agreement, I will have to hold my tongue.
I'm sure cancunhound can come up with a quote from Hamlet that might be considered appropriate.

... in response to Why Latin men?, posted by mar33 on Nov 14, 2003

Because they are the most romantic men in the world and the language is very seductive. It is not until your woman is cheated on 5 or 6 times--yes, it takes that many  times, and maybe hit a few times as well , before she is on the phone and calling you for forgiveness . then you will truely understand the answer to your question.

... in response to Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Kiltboy1 on Nov 14, 2003

????????

... in response to Re: Why Latin men?, posted by Kiltboy1 on Nov 14, 2003

Yep,
    My Brazilian ex called after she just had a baby by the DJ who would not marry her. She actually had the nerve to complain about his cheating and told me she made a mistake by leaving. I could not believe the nerve she had to think I actually would come and dig her out of the hole she made for herself.
   Mark