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Now maybe these babes are sincere, you never know. But I am sure the thought of getting to the USA has crossed their mind as a motivation for getting involved in a marriage agency. And don't buy that whole unfaithful thing. That is a load of BS. Colombian women are notoriosly unfaithful as well.

This proposition seems to be a statistical anomoly of such proportions to be impossible.

Hamlet

Since education and jobs are not easily attainable, the women have no other choices...in order to survive they have to submit to the poor leadership of this sort of men.

My mother-in-law is in one such situation. Her husband is unfaithful, but she cannot get a divorce because she would be out in the streets without him.

She married him because her step-father sexually abused her and in order to get out of the situation her mother said she must marry someone and her husband is the one she asked even thought she did not love them. Eventually she do fall in love with him but now since he has been unfaithful, the relationship is much different. At her age she is only interested in stability now.

My wife has many, many crazy stories in regards to how the men treat women in her country, and I've listened to many Latin men talk about women and how they view them that validate her stories.

Tim.

Which, countries, if any, have faithful women? Please share with us.

I can't comment specifically on Mexico (although I believe it is probably the same) but in Colombia it is the women are the ones that are the sharks. They have tons of guys after them and they can pick and choose as they like. Maybe not the ugly ones, but any mildly attractive female is going to have plenty of options and dating one, while she has a boyfriend with the other is normal practice. Any time a women leaves a man in Colombia it is because that women has found another. Simple as that. Men are unfaithful in colombia because they know that their women are unfaithful and "caprichosa" or capricious. In spanish that means they basically do what makes them happy regardless of the consequences.

As soon as you guys come to the reality of this, you will be a lot better off.

Tim.

Since education and jobs are not easily attainable, the women have no other choices...in order to survive they have to submit to the poor leadership of this sort of men.

My mother-in-law is in one such situation. Her husband is unfaithful, but she cannot get a divorce because she would be out in the streets without him.

She married him because her step-father sexually abused her and in order to get out of the situation her mother said she must marry someone and her husband is the one she asked even thought she did not love him. Eventually she did fall in love with him but now since he has been unfaithful, the relationship is much different. At her age she is only interested in stability now.

My wife has many, many crazy stories in regards to how the men treat women in her country, and I've listened to many Latin men talk about women and how they view them that validate her stories.

Tim.

My wifes parents have the same type of story. They are only still together because my wifes mother would be on the street without him. They both have other boyfriends/girlfriends, yet live together and do social things together, but do not sleep in the same room together. Welcome to life in LA.kiltbo1

Tim.

Griselda--originally from Sonora, Mexico, last contact with her she was in the USA on a tourist visa.
"...I don't want a macho man by my side, so I don't want a Mexicano by my side..."

Esmeralda--originally from Veracruz, Mexico, now living in TN.
...."when I became pregnant and started to show, my husband began hitting me and calling me fea and gorda..."

Florinda--originally from Michoacan, Mexico, now living in ATL, GA.
..."my father used to make my mother fix his dinner first. She had to stand quietly behind him while he ate. Only after he finished was she allowed to sit down and eat. If there was something about the meal that he didn't like, my father threw the plate against the wall and my mother had to start dinner over again......"

Also from Florinda-..."my sister is married to a Mexican guy here in ATL. He beats her up about once a month and she comes running to my house. Last time I told her she wasn't welcome here for that reason anymore as long as she stays with him..."

Maritza--originally from Cali, Colombia, last I knew living in ATL.
"...I was embarrassed the first day that I met you  because my face was bruised from my ex-husband hitting me..."---which I noticed but didn't want to mention.

Enedina--originally from Michoacan, MX., then living in ATL.
"...I was home when you called me yesterday, but my brothers basically control what I do and they don't want me seeing anyone, so they told you I wasn't home..."

Carmen-- my wife, who had her tourist visa and had visited the States before we ever met.
"...I had given up on meeting a Peruvian man that I thought I could trust. I had decided to live single forever rather than marry a local guy..."

There are numerous horror stories about my wife's father that would take more time than is practical to tell, basically involving the usual, too much drinking and infidelity.

ALL these examples were already here in the US at the time I met them, with no reason to put a "spin" on their stories. I could put you in touch with some of them if you want to hear it from them.

Of course there are some unfaithful women everywhere, but to deny that machista is an overwhelming reason that Latinas seek something different is NOT facing reality.

Tim.

- Jeff

Why would you ever want to marry one?

- Jeff

- Jeff

But this age old argument that has been proposed time and time again on this board is that the poor little Colombian girl is just looking for a "nice guy" who will be faithful and that is the reason she is in a marriage agency and wants to marry some foreigner that she barely knows is complete BS.

What Aarogance.  Oops!  Typo.

I'll be looking forward to reading about how you esablished this "fact".  Anecdotal evidence, no doubt.

Steve

- Jeff

By the way, he says "But this age old argument that has been proposed time and time again on this board ...".  He has only been registered since July 2003, a meager 3 months.  Does 3 months qualify as "time and time again" in anyone else's book?

Seems that some formerly banned poster is slipping up on their verbage and exposing more of their true identify and history with this board.  Hmmm, who could that banned poster be?

I actually tend to doubt your assertion.  Domestic violence spans all classes and backgrounds, and has more to do with a person's inability to deal with roles and role changes with a spouse (male or female).  Drugs and alcohol play a huge role, and that, too, tends to span social classes.  Striking a person is simply the most basic way of communicating with another person.  

Once again there seems to be an attempt to generalize about Colombian women (and men) which is pointless.  As far as cheating goes...what is cheating?  I remember telling my exwife (american), when I was accused of cheating, that for me, cheating occurred in the mind and heart, and had little to do with genitalia.  And so I said in that respect, yes, I often thought of other women, but I was not having sex, pursuing sex, or really even flirting with them.

In contrast, she flirted with men, and people who knew us suggested "she must be cheating" when I described our lack of intimacy.  Frankly, it didn't matter.

All the attention to PeteE recently was a similar situation.  Does it matter about how close she ever got to a penis?  She was deceiving and hurting him and he was cheated out of a spouse for a long time.  In the end thats all that is relevant.

The concept of 'cheating', in terms of a sex act, frankly, is really outdated(IMHO).  In the context of safe sex, the ability to cross town in minutes, telephones, digital cams, not to mention dating a woman who lives in another country, I urge you all to consider what really is going to be the problem.  Especially when we are often talking about 15-20+ year age gaps.  Perhaps I am nuts, but when I enter a relationship, and the subject of infidelity comes up, my line is "...I trust you to tell me what I need to know...I don't want to be out somewhere and feel embarrassed...I don't want to hear things from someone else..", etc.  

But then I live in Key West and maybe I am conditioned for a party atmosphere?

Caio

Tim.

I think just about EVERY woman I ever met looking for a foreign husband said something similar.  This is more or less the standard line in the agencies and I wouldn't attach any great significance to it.  You'll only discover if a woman is the real thing by spending a lot of time with her and her family.  Remember that a woman's actions are a better way to judge her than any words or ideas she may express.

Actions of the lady can give you a good indication if she
is honest or just looking for a better life after she dumps you. Use caution, don't let puppy love blind you.

OK, end of sarcasm.  You probably have found some good women.  Some truly feel the way you have described.  My wife (not the same wife) has asked me several times to move back to Cali with her because she misses her Mother.  But be careful.  Things are not always what they seem.

Steve

I've read a lot of posts where guys complain that the women of a particular country, social strata, or type, don't seem to want to leave home. This is a good thing and points to sincerity and committment, traits most of us are looking for in a spouse. If you take that your spouse is eager to get out of dodge, I'd take it as a red flag.

If I'm making it sound like a catch 22, it probably is. Choose wisely, grasshopper.

- Jeff

Right on.  I think this is a general truism, regardless of race, age, or gender.  People who have a burning desire to bail out of whatever situation they are in should always raise a red flag, and by the way this includes gringos like me who have utterly given up on american women.  Consider how some of us must look to them...I mean this constructively, as in a 'step into the other person's shoes' way.

Caio