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Title: The story # 7 Post by: Pete E on October 20, 2003, 04:00:00 AM Heres the last part,the part that got saved when I lost most of the post.
But it has got so bad even I have to admit its got to end.She no longer Pete Title: Re: The story # 7 Post by: chizz on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to The story # 7, posted by Pete E on Oct 20, 2003
Sup pete, I like everyone else here, appreciates the time you took to write this. Especially me, since I asked you what happend a few days ago. I was reading your story, and couldn't help but getting upset with her, and you. Her for putting you thru this B.S, and you for allowing it. I'm glad you're able to move on from this, but I can't help but being upset, because something like this is my worse fear. I still think you should've sent her a*s back when you had the chance. I met someone is Barranquilla, things were going real nice there, and I signed her up for english classes. I told her she wasn't coming to the United states until she learned english(she couldn't speak a lick). Also I did this to see how commited she was to me. for the first month she was going to classes, and after a month she could say "how are you?". That was it. the emails I recieved, come to find out, weren't written by her, but by the guy who runs the school, to keep me paying for classess. I am a police officer, so I can smell B.S. She began to miss classes, but the school didn't tell me. It was only after I didn't send the next payment, that the school sent me an email, saying that "she has only attended 5 classes this month, and we haven't heard from her, so you only have to pay 50.00". I never sent it, and never called them. The school sent me an emai asking what was wrong, and in angry tones I told them they were full of it, and so was she. I skipped alot to keep this short but i'm sure you can fill in the rest. I personally am not going to marry anyone who can't speak english, and I haven't been involved with for at least a year. take care. Bryan Title: Re: Re: The story # 7 Post by: mudd on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: The story # 7, posted by chizz on Oct 21, 2003
im with you, shows a commiment(sp) that she is serious about the relationship. i have the same rule, since my spanish is basic at best, and my family, children and friends dont speak spanish, how would she fit in. just spending time with my friends would be hard and im sure any girl would feel left out and isolated not being able to speak to my friends and family. it would eventualy lead to a disaster and many problems. Title: Re: The story # 7 Post by: mudd on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to The story # 7, posted by Pete E on Oct 20, 2003
oh yeh, she sounds like a really nice person!!!!!. im still trying to figure out why you keep saying she is a good woman, souns like your in serious denial and she sounds liks a total snake, had one thing in mind, get some poor gringo to bring her butt to the USA and then get rid of him. i have a feeling, as soon as your gone, she's going to have a colombian boyfriend in the house you let go. i can understand that you feel like you need to get out and find another girl, but maybe your going a little fast and running aways from your problems. i would also thing about going to a diffrent counrty, other than colombia, maybe brazil, mexico, peru ect. i dont think your haveing much luck with the colombians. good luck and hope all works out in the end. Title: Re: Re: The story # 7 Post by: Bueller on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: The story # 7, posted by mudd on Oct 21, 2003
The idea of selecting another country, or at least another city, ain't such a bad one, Pete. I've never set foot in Colombia, but everyone talks about having to take a taxi *everywhere* in Cali and no one seems to think there's much reason to go there except for the women. How about a safer coastal city, or Chile, or beautiful, relatively safe Argentina? Brazil has some very nice cities to live in, some of which I've written about recently on LWL. Look up pictures of Praia do Francés (Frenchman's Beach) in Maceió, Alagoas, and ask yourself if you can resist. Title: Re: Re: Re: The story # 7 Post by: Pete E on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: The story # 7, posted by Bueller on Oct 21, 2003
I was thinking Cartegena or maybe Panama.But talking to my buddies who have both spent aslot of time in Cali convinced me to go there first.I will travel out from there. am interseted in Brazil also.Cjhile is supposed to be mnice.It just hit me I didn't want to be isolated and I ewon't be in Cali.I know alot of people and have aslot of options. Yes,it is kind of Cab from the Condo to the mall.But cabs are cheap. Pete Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: The story # 7 Post by: Bueller on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: The story # 7, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003
Sounds like you have a plan, then. I'm just thinking about those three weeks or so you spent at Christmas in Cali and were posting about going crazy with nothing to do. Maceió isn't the only spot worth considering in LA, but it is right up there in the top echelon. You can pretty much go anywhere, anytime, without too much worrying about getting mugged or kidnapped; everything is cheap; lots of pretty women; the people are nice; and the beaches are a picture of heaven. Well, I translated and posted that poem, "The Day God Created Alagoas", so you know my bias. Title: Re: Re: The story # 7 Post by: Pete E on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: The story # 7, posted by mudd on Oct 21, 2003
Colombia is the first stop.I m ay go somewhereelse eventually but I want to set up at least a temporary home base there. I just need to get out of here for my mental well being.I have shortened up what I need to do to only the most important things. Yup,I think there is a good chance there will be some Colombiano living here.But she could have had one of those a-sholes where she came from.I just don't even want to know about it.She could get a real successfull guy around here.There are more of them than women that look as good as her. Pete Title: Re: The story # 7 Post by: Red Clay on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to The story # 7, posted by Pete E on Oct 20, 2003
It just hit me, although Pete has mentioned it several times before. Pete was her FIRST appointment at the agency, the first guy that wanted to meet her. Looks like she made the most of it. Sorry, but I just can't buy the line about her being "such a good person deep inside". Her behavior at parties, etc. with you there watching was unbelievable. Anyway, glad you are finally doing what you have to do. Hopefully you will find someone who will give you the respect you deserve. Title: Re: Re: The story # 7 Post by: Pete E on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: The story # 7, posted by Red Clay on Oct 21, 2003
Thanks, And I think you are right. Pete Title: Re: The story # 7 Post by: Michael B on October 20, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to The story # 7, posted by Pete E on Oct 20, 2003
Quite a story, Pete, I was waiting until the end to comment. Love makes a man put up with stuff that he shouldn't (particulary if there are children involved). I certainly can't throw any stones at you, you were married for four years? I was married (with a lot of the same problems and more, and for a lot of the same reasons) for SIXTEEN years. It's like hitting yourself over and over with a hammer....you don't understand why you hurt so much all the time while you're doing it, but when you finally quit, you realize how much better you feel. Title: Re: Re: The story # 7 Post by: hankkh on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: The story # 7, posted by Michael B on Oct 20, 2003
I would say based on my experience with my exAW wife that she has probably been with other men and probably several. Her behavior sounds very much like my ex. After our divorce, then friends would tell me about her affairs. Title: Re: The story # 7 Post by: DOMINGUIN on October 20, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to The story # 7, posted by Pete E on Oct 20, 2003
Pete: I know that it took a lot of guts for you to write this and I think that all of us who have been to SA and contribute to the board appreciate it Only the trolls will flame you. A couple of questions, if I might. 2. Did you ever learn to speak Spanish? Sincerely, Dominguin Title: Re: Re: The story # 7 Post by: Pete E on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: The story # 7, posted by DOMINGUIN on Oct 20, 2003
I speak little spannish.Her english has always been band is pretty good now. I don't know what she is thinking,she will never tell me so I assume the worst. Like I said I made her an offer she couldn't refuse.I will take you and your son to America,you can become a resident,I will take good care off you.You will have a nice house and nice car.We will come back to Colombia once a year.I will help your family.Not all of this was offered at first but thats what it came down to. She obviously doesn't love me.I don't think she finds me attractive.She really seems like she doesn't even want to be seen with me.There is something missing in me for her. The question really is did she ever care for me at all,or think she could,or just fake it from the start.I don't know. Like I said I want to presume the best intentions on her part,that she tried or thought she could love me. I was thinking off a relationship were I was not willing to say how I felt.I met this cute little Brazilian lady at my church.Cute,nice,we were very much alike in spiritual beliefs.She looked 38.She was asctually 56.I just couldn't get beyond that.I was 53 at the time.I was thinking my god she will be 70 in 14 years.73 when I'm 70.When I'm 70 I want a 40 something wife.She would look at me and say,I really wish I knew what you were thinking.I wasn't willing to tell her,because it wass not good.She was planning to go back to Braszil when we met.She hesitated hoping we might get together,then went.Cutest 56 year old I ever saw,bar none. Another girl one time,really liked me.Cute.But we danced one time and she had this soft fat little tummy It pushed against me.It totally turned me off.I never went out with her again.She even called.Said she was sorry she was tired that night and applologized for being no fun.She had no idea the real reason. I told Rocio I would like any imformation she could give me about how she feels about me.But if it is something I can't change I don't want to know. The one thing I have not done is really get my body in shape.I have pumped iron for 44 of my 60 years,But I could lose about 15 lbs.I have lost about 15 lbs since I met her.48 inch chest,36 inch waist.The waist needs to be 33.I intend to,I will work on it full time in Cali,plus there are a couple of cosmetic surgury things I'm going to do.Its cheap in Cali.I don't look my 60 years,more like 50 I think,but I could look alot better yet. Hell I'm just guessing.I don't know,but there is something about me that is not OK with her. Pete Title: Re: Re: Re: The story # 7 Post by: DOMINGUIN on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: The story # 7, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003
Pete: Very interesting comments, what I'm hearing is that in 4 years you never heard her say: this is why I like you, this is what I don't like about you. Once in a post a long time ago, you talked about "rushing in", and obviously this happened after you got your "peaceful feeling" at the agency in Cali. I think the hadest lesson for men to learn,is that if we project our feelings onto a woman, then we expect her to reciproacate. But a woman is a completely different spirit, entitled to hew own feelings and motivations, no matter how invalid we think her feelings and motivations are. Damn hard lesson to learn, the earlier we learn it in our dealings and relationships with women, the better off we are. So, if it was just the age old economic arrangement, beauty and hopefully great sex (which did not happen)in exchange for financial security, then the ending was maybe predictable. Maybe speaking fluent Spanish and understanding the culture would be helpful. It might give you an added ability to ocmmunicate. I assume that if you move to Cali you will be forced to learn the language, especially if you want to be with calenas. My Spanish is still not fluent, but I see the culture and the women I met much differently then I did two years ago when I started and knew no Spanish. I know that you have placed a lot of emphasis on the outer man (coloring your hair, pumping iron, reducing your waistline etc., in an effort to look younger. Granted, image is import in SA. And you say that you belong to a church, so you must have some teachings about the nature of the spiritual man. And maybe the first sign of wisdom in a the spiritual man is the recognition of age and self understanding. Pete, is there something wrong with being 60? Dominguin Title: And - - Post by: Pete E on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: The story # 7, posted by DOMINGUIN on Oct 21, 2003
Yes,she never ever gave me any feedback except to get really upset if I yelled at her. Yes I do need to learn spanish.That and working on the bod will be top priorities,and I'm not working any more,probably never,except to invest. And yup,it was real stupid to assume anything about someones feelings for you untill you have alot of time to be with them.Did what I did,what can I say? And I am spiritual.I'm not afraid of death.I know we live on in spirit.I'm just not ready to check out yet,I got too much to do,time to make up for.I fel like I wasted too much time,not only just recently,but before.I didn't get really gutsy about life untill I was about 45. Pete Title: Re: And - - Post by: roadken on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to And - - , posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003
Pete,I appreciate your story.It must be very painfull.I find your wife's behavior deplorable.I am curious though.What is her age and yours? Title: Re: Re: And - - Post by: Pete E on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: And - - , posted by roadken on Oct 21, 2003
I'm 60.I think I look 50.She is 37. A good looking 37,she looks like she is 28.Not a wrinkle.And she dresses to kill.I'm sure the age difference is a major factor.It doesn't have to be in the right relationship,but it is here. Pete Title: Re: Re: Re: And - - Post by: roadken on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: And - - , posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003
I don't mean to be critical.Your detailing your situation is way more than most guys would do.But the age thing is probably what killed you.She may have had good intentions at the start but things DO Change when you get them in the states.Given her behavior I would be surprised if she WASN'T seeing some other guy (who is probably a lot younger).IMHO,you can do the wide age gap when you live in Colombia,but here in the states the risk factor does climb dramatically.She has too many temptations as we do in Colombia.Our markets are completely different.We all do what we can get away with.Be glad you have a pension.In Colombia you will be a KING!! Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: And - - Post by: lswote on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: And - - , posted by roadken on Oct 21, 2003
Nah, I don't think age is the problem. She is just a self-serving b**ch. Title: There is calender age and effective age and vanity Post by: Pete E on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: The story # 7, posted by DOMINGUIN on Oct 21, 2003
Something wrong with being 60? No.Something wrong with looking 60 if you can help it? Maybe,its going to limit your options,alot.This is a critical age area.Most of these girls bio's that say anything about age desired,55 is about top end.Maybe sometime 60.Most say 45 max.They will stretch it but it helps to look younger. Funny when I went to Cali the first time I would make the girls guess my age.The average guess was 45.I was 56 at the time.But then I would tell them.Its like I was vounteering my worst stat right at the start.Girls doing the translating were probably saying DUHH! I think I need to not volunteer that.But I never intend to lie about it. You've heard of aging gracefully.My old minister at my church talked about going kicking and screaning in to old age.The church was called religious science.They believe everything can be changed by thought.I never accepted that in the extreme,but much can be changed by thought and attitude,which basically forms our life for us.This guy would get up there and say the only reason we grow old and die is because we think we will.OK,smart guy.What about animals?Do they think they will grow old?Nonsense when carried to the extreme. I have a thing about age.I want quality over quantity.And one reason I like a younger woman is they are not going to get real old on me,I will not be around. Let me elaborate some more.I go to a clinic in Palm Springs.Palm Springs Life Extension Institute.They are in to Hormone replacement.The theory is as we age our hormones decline causing lots of things.If you maintain the hormone levels to what an athlete has at 25 you will not be 25,but a whole lot younger seeming than what you are.The main hormone is Growth Hormone. I am taking it again because it helps my ulcerative colitis.Plus does lots of other good things,and no proven downside,although mainstream medicine will speculate lots of things.Its gotten cheaper,$5000 a year.I used to pay $10,000.I quit taking it when I got married untill recently,just because of cost.And it will get cheaper yet,a patent is expiring.Helps with lean body mass,hair growth,skin youthfullness and one other very important thing.It stengthens all you internal organs.Most importantly your blood vessels.Probably great insurance against a stroke.Don't go for the adds for the boosterrs,they arte worthlss.We are talkin prescription injectable growth hormone.I also take tstosterone.Really makes a difference,muscle mass,energy,just feeling good,sexuality.My wife told the shrink she wished I wouldn't take it,then I wouldn't want sex so much.AND,it dropped my cholesterol from 225 to 175.Yes,its known for that.Probably never heard that before huh?I also take about 6 other hormones,thyroid,adrenalin,other stuff you wouldn't recognise.If I would just lay off the cerveza I could be in real good shape. So I'm thinking with a little work I can look 45.About 5 years younger than I now look. But eventually we do grow old and die.I just want some more prime living yet.I don't want much,I just want it all. At universal studios in Orlando they have a booth where these people try to guess your age and weight.They really try,you win a small prize if they are off much.I was 49.They said 39.I was 204,in clothes,the girl started to say 175,the other people stopped her,they had a conflab,and agreed on 190.I'm 185 now.Some other poor guy they said 48,he was 38. OK,any you guys that have met me,give your honest opinion how old I look. Pete Title: Re: There is calender age and effective age and vanity Post by: Calipro on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to There is calender age and effective age ..., posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003
Hello: Pete First how many cc's is a years supply of HGH. and where do you get a year's supply for $5000. Title: Re: Re: There is calender age and effective age and vanity Post by: Pete E on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: There is calender age and effective ..., posted by Calipro on Oct 21, 2003
Its measured in international units.10 units a week is $100 a week,if you pay for a year up front.Some bodybuilders take 40 units a week,thats the level where things like fluid retention and carpel tunnel,syndrome can start to happen,only at very high doses.The effect is much more subtle than testosterone.You feel the difference big time in a few hours with that.The goal on the testosterone is to set you at the high end of normal,in other words about all anybody would ever have natuarly in their peak years.They Set it at 25 year old jock level.Natural production starts dropping off in you 40's,picks up speed in your 50's and beyond. Some drug company,I forget the one,has a paternt that was supposed to expire a couple of years ago.Apparently they have their lawyers doing delay actics.It could be cheap to produce,cheap to buy,except for the f--kig drug Co.There are knockmoff out of China and India.I wonder how available they are in other countries. I get it from Palm Springs Life Extension Institute,Palm Springs Ca. 800-327-8939.I read about them in a national magazine 6 years ago.I called them asking for a doctor in my area.They said there were none,but I could work with them if I could fly down once for an appointment.I have only been here once but do yearly blood tests through them. There are alot more Doctors doing it now,a bunch in Florida. A doctor named Edmund Chein started it.He is also an attorney and was able to thrart the FDA from controlling him by knowing his law in this area.I have worked with several doctors their including Chein.They have alot of reseasrch in this area.Its very impressive.If interrested try to get a big booklet they put together on it,300 pages or so.Before and after pictures.This is re al medicine,not some herbal fad. Story is Arnold,who off course was a big time steriod user,surprissed they didn't nail him on that.You couldn't be a competitive bodybuilder since the 60's without it.Now the story is he takes only growth Hormone and one form of testosterone or testosterone booster. And the internet age.You can buy about anything but hard drugs.40 different types of steroids and other stuff.You can have it in a week.Only takes money. Pete Title: Re: There is calender age and effective age and vanity Post by: DOMINGUIN on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to There is calender age and effective age ..., posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003
Pete: OK, I see that you are very passionate about this subject of aging and you feel that it helps you to be in control. I don't mean to make light of your conjugal difficulties with your wife. But when you met Roccio in Colombia (and you did't speak Spanish), did she understand enough English for you to say: "Look I do hormone replacement therapy, this is what it does for me, its a very important part of my attitude about life. I take this and that hormone and I take testosterone, and I have a sex drive like a freight train. I like and need sex and a lot of it, I need a willing and enthusiastic and energetic bed partner and sex is a crucial part of marriage for me. What are your attitudes about sex?" And my guess is you never said it, never asked, neve rhad the ocnversation. And considering the attitudes she has about sex, do you think she would have married you, even with the carrot of the Americvan lifestyle? My point is that communication is always a 2 way street. She didn't know enough about you going in and you didn't know enough about her going in. Very tough for a marriage to succeed. Maybe a little less pumping iron and more Spanish language study?.... Dominguin Title: Re: Re: There is calender age and effective age and vanity Post by: lswote on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: There is calender age and effective ..., posted by DOMINGUIN on Oct 21, 2003
I realized I have only been married about 8 months so I certainly can't speak with an authority of experience, but I don't think either what you are suggesting DOM, that he needs to pump iron less and study Spanish more or what Pete is saying that he might need to work on looking younger have anything to do with anything. I am 49 and while I don't look old for my age I am 100 pounds overweight on most weight charts. I don't give full credance to the charts but I certainly am overweight. I also have lost a lot of hair, and I have peripheral neuropathy in my feet which makes just about any kind of exercise painful so I don't exercise and certainly am not buff by anyone's definition. Yet I am positive beyond a shadow of a doubt that my wife loves me. And until recently, our sex life was very good; in fact it is me that is backing off in our sex life because I am just not as interested as I was now that my wife is getting so large from the pregnancy. I am not studing Spanish, though I do try to learn from her and I have no plans in the immediate future to try to study because frankly when I get home from work I am tired and I just want to relax. But none of that makes a difference. What makes a difference is that you have a connection with a person and have true love and affection for that person. All the other issues are just details. Title: Re: Re: Re: There is calender age and effective age and vanity Post by: DOMINGUIN on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: There is calender age and effect..., posted by lswote on Oct 21, 2003
B: To each his own... H...mm, backing off sex with a pregnant wife , damned if you do, damned if you don't! Dominguin Title: Re: Re: There is calender age and effective age and vanity Post by: Pete E on October 21, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: There is calender age and effective ..., posted by DOMINGUIN on Oct 21, 2003
Nope, Never had that conversation or anything close.Of course we couldn't have it directly,to many language issues.I had set up this appointment with Rubby on Sunday to try and ask her alot of questions,but I guess I was hesitant to get to the really tough ones.So I just skipped that step.Big mistake.Bud,for all of his moving quickly,did have such a conversation with his wife,right down to some very specific stuff about sex. I would have never believed it could turn out so badly.I knew I was taking a chance but thought it will either work or I will get the hell out.And I've been stuck somewhere in between for almost 4 years.And the main point of stuckness is I don't know who the hell she is. Thats a post I will pull up top.And of course the language has helped that to be. Religius cience is related to Christian science,but christian science is more strick,not believing in doctors,its all in your mind.Of course its not science at all,but there s something to it. I went from Catholic to aethiest to agnostic to some spiritual ideas.My first big turn around that brought me back to spirituality from being an agnostic was the "Life after life" book by Raymond Moody about 25 years ago.It talks about near deasth experiences.Yes,I said,this is how a loving god would be,not this judgemental tyrant I had been old about who I had to ultimately regect as total nonsense.Religious science does have alot of good ideas along this line.Its a good open non judgemental but still Christian organization.But they do go over the top,as in the ministers thoughts about aging.ice people,not nuts at all.I guess a lady named Terry Cole Whitaker is the best known proponent of it. Pete Title: Yo Petey, I Mean Pete E. Post by: burbuja2 on October 20, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to The story # 7, posted by Pete E on Oct 20, 2003
You mentioned your financial situation several times. Did your wife contribute to the dissipation of assets, and if so, how so? Title: Re: Yo Petey, I Mean Pete E. Post by: Pete E on October 20, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to Yo Petey, I Mean Pete E., posted by burbuja2 on Oct 20, 2003
Well I just spend alot of money.Then I refinance to get some more money,ect untill I got a $5620 house payment.Then I am spending more money. I spent alot of it on her,but most I could have spent anyway.If she was not around I probably would have just sold the place when I could and moved on.THarts wherec i9 could have saved some money. But direct expense for them?Maybe $1500 a month if you count the money we sent her family.A number of trips,plane tickets hotels ect. I would say maybe I spent $100,000 of it on them.Maybe $30,000 of that to her family.The rest I spent ,mostly pumping it back in to the house. Pete Title: Sorry about the typos Post by: Pete E on October 20, 2003, 04:00:00 AM ... in response to The story # 7, posted by Pete E on Oct 20, 2003
I was getting really burned out and didn't check it before sending it. Pete |