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My step son asked me to pick him after school today.He can ride the bus but it takes about 30 miniutes longer than if I picked him up.
So I spend 30 miniutes to save him 30 miniutes.Plus his mom gives him a ride in the morning.He said he had some homework he needed to do and exagerated how long the bus takes to get him home.So I said OK.
I waited 15 mniuites in front of the school,no goddam kid.I even called his cell phone.No I didn't buy it for him his mother did.12 year olds don't need a cell phone.I might as well have paid for it.Since I pay all the bills her money in funny money and she buys him a cell phone.Boy are they both in for an awakening.
I get a call back,its Rocio.She has his cell phone.I'm headed back.I tell her I am NEVER EVER giving him a ride again.I didn't realise how angry I am untill I sat there for 15 miniutes.That anger brought up everything else I am angry about.He either goofed off in class and got detention or went home with his friend.But he just blew his taxi service.For good.
I told her before if there is a guy she better make damn sure he never crosses my path.He will be in danger.I never ever hurt anybody but I could see where I could lose control real easy,the way I feel right now.
I mentioned the testosterone earlier.One negative aspect of it is anger.If you are pretty even tempered you usually never have a problem with it.But if you get angry you get real angry.Its called Roid Rage.Ever see that look in a bulls eyes?

Pete

... in response to Repressed anger, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

Pete,

I'm saddened by your recent posts....

I feel for you....You've always been such a positive influence here

There have been several times in my marraige that I wanted to call or write you for advice or council....

Thanks for all the motivation....

for now just chill a little....we all understand the frustration...

I hope for the best for you and your exit plan....several times I have though about similar plans...

Soon it will be time to relax and enjoy a variety of delights.

Sincerely your friend....

Dean

... in response to Re: Repressed anger, posted by Dean on Oct 21, 2003

Thanks,I appreciate your comments.

Pete

... in response to Repressed anger, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

Pete,
I've been away and I come back to all of these post from you, what the hell happened!!!

I am with some of the other fellas here, THIS BOAT IS UNDER WATER already, no need to think about how that hole got there.

All of the mental torture that you have put your self through will not change anything about Rocio, her fellings(not) for you or her behavior. You can not spend one moment wandering what is going on inside of her grape.

Pete, see this from Rocio's tree stand(so I deer hunt), this thing is going exactly the way that she(and possibly him)has planned it. If there is another, then why make a big splash and make a mess of such a lovely arrangement, nice house,neighborhood, car, money, great school for the kid, make it last for awhile. She knew that eventually you would see the big picture and figure out that something was not right, talk about having your cake and eating it. Pete, after two weeks of not putting out, I'm asking some questions, after a month, I am paying more attention to what is happening.

She also knows that you are a nice guy and that if she was to play her hand well and not upset the cart, then all would go as planned. The plan was for you to leave, doesn't matter where you go as long as she gets to be single again,  she is already where she wants to be, with green card in hand.

Now you just have to focus on how much happier you will be(that is the goal- to be happy)once you are in Cali, where going home will mean going around the corner and not getting on a plane. No more brain cells wasted on any analasis of all the maybe's, there is no changing or making anything better, the other party is not willing.

PS. Our days are numbered here, don't waste not even one on this failed marriage. Better days are ahead, go in peace with a clear conscious and enjoy your retirement, doing what, when, where and with whom you wish in the place of your choosing, CALI!!!!!

... in response to Re: Repressed anger, posted by moam on Oct 21, 2003

Thanks,
I really want the change.I want no more this.Some people are counseling caution and they may be right.But I want out,No more of this thank you.
And yes,I am making it easy for her and maybe some guy.Even itf there isn't a guy now there will soon be.And I don't want to be here to watch it.Rather have a hot Calena on my arm.

Pete

... in response to Repressed anger, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

My ex use to call me to come get her at work and leave me out in the
parking lot for 30 minutes or more just because she did not want to wait
10 minutes for me. I solved the problem by telling her next time she will
be taking a taxi home.

... in response to Repressed anger, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

That's an order.  ;-)

Steve

... in response to Stay focused on Cali, posted by DallasSteve2 on Oct 21, 2003

Steve,
Thanks I think thats what I need to do.Dwelling on the negative or even the reasons for it just gets me more entangled in my thinking.

Pete

... in response to Repressed anger, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

Hey pete.Quit being a nice guy(AKA - door mat),and blow these users off.You've been had by them.You ignored the signals,which seemed to have been fairly constant and now YOU are angry.When people love you,they show it.From what you have said,you never saw anything but kept moving forward
and now are close to blowing a gasket with a 12 yeard kid.
I apologize for the harshness but as I read all your threads you seem less and less grounded.

... in response to Re: Repressed anger, posted by roadken on Oct 21, 2003

Actually now is the time to not blow his stack.  He has a workable plan that he needs to stick too for a little longer.  If he somehow pushes his wife's buttons by showing too much anger she could do something that is counter-productive to both of them out of spite or her own anger.  If anything he needs to maintain his cool around her so she continues to agree to the program he is offering.  I know it is difficult for him right now but he needs to keep his eyes on the prize of moving to Latin America and getting a new girl.  As he so often preached "the best way to get over a woman is with a new woman".

... in response to Re: Re: Repressed anger, posted by lswote on Oct 21, 2003

Bruce,Thats right.But all this anger came up so I thought I would comment.I cooled off before the kid got home.Forgot I was picking him up and took the bus.The thing with him started the anger,then I noticed how angry I was about everything.
Maybe I shouldn't post all the knee jerk emotions I am going through.

Pete

... in response to Right, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

Pete,you need to blow off some steam.get out of the house,get a massage,get laid...it will help your mind..I have been in your shoes and so have many of the other guys..

... in response to Re: Re: Repressed anger, posted by lswote on Oct 21, 2003

Pete,  Maybe you need to leave the house now, move in with your adult son for a few weeks. I'm serious man, things are building up inside you. Leave before you make a mistake.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Repressed anger, posted by Wasp on Oct 21, 2003

I'm OK now.The anger went away.
And My office is here in the house,I need my computer and other stuff.I won't lose it I don't think.

Pete

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Repressed anger, posted by Pete E on Oct 21, 2003

Don't worry about the knee jerk emotions, use this board to vent if you must. All of us are in your corner and pulling for you to continue with the plan. We want to see you get out of this with a shirt on your back.
As I told you over the phone, you are really in a wonderful position, how many could end a failed marriage and move to Cali to surround themselves with beautiful women to help easy the pain! Most would jump at the opp. to be in your shoes, since we can't, go and enjoy!!

PS. Pete, imagine if you were 30 years younger and going thru this, you'd be stuck here after the smoke cleared and paying off the debt as a result. See how much better off you are, is it nice to have options or what! Think, CaliCaliCaliCaliCali!!!  I am going somewhere with this Pete, no time to think of anything not pleasant, including anger, it is counterproductive.

Enjoy what are your limited days with the young boy and be as pleasant with him as possible, he'll grow to be a man someday and his memory will not fail him. It is not him, he will be a victim of his mothers decision just as you.

maom

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Repressed anger, posted by moam on Oct 21, 2003

Thanks,
I appreciate your comments.I do feel lucky to have a soloution,even if I anm reconsidering elements of it.But my heart still goes with the solution.
My first divorce was not so bad but I have seen guys go through hell.Broke,no money,their wife having a ball.
What was that old Jerry Reed song? She 's living high on Alimony,I'm working two jobs and eating baloney."
Glad it won't be like that.Better off with $40,000 in Cali.

Pete

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Repressed anger, posted by Wasp on Oct 21, 2003


Pete:

Wasp has damned good advice. Your step son is 12. 12 year olds screw up, that is what growing up is about.  Don't lump him with your wife, he is not an adult, and not as accountable for his actions.

Almost all of us on this board (except the trolls) want to see you get out of this with your dignity and pension and plan to got to SA intact.  Step back, breathe in and out slowly, and if you can't control your temper, get the hell out of the house and away from your wife and step son. Check into a motel for a couple of days, use the exercise room and pool, and cool down!

Take care of yourself!

Dominguin