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Just a question. I live in the expensive Northeast(Housing is very expensive). Granted being 55 interested in 45 year old women may be high hopes, but I work out daily to keep in shape. It seems to me all the attractive + - 45 year old women are already married or have boyfriends. It appears to me that there are way more elegibile men in this area than women. I figure with the high cost of living the women with kids can't afford to stay here. While on the other hand the suddenly single men who generally earn more anyway can and do. I've had several ladies give me their cell phone numbers only to call them and find out they have a boyfriend. But they would like to meet me for "coffee." (Yeah I know for what else.) So I am extremely frustrated and SA looks better and better. Comments and/or opinions on this issue would be appreciated.

... in response to You guys who live in high priced areas ..., posted by Zorrowins on Oct 10, 2003

About tick, tick, tick--I agree 100%. I look in the mirror every day-I'm very much aware after today I have one less day to live(as is true for all of us). I've also not read even ONE post of regrets for those of you who have gone, do go, and live in Colombia. I like Mexicans(South Texas-where I was raised) and speak spanish fairly well. Plus honestly I'm lonely as hell(Can I be honest?). So I've decided to go to Colombia. I have many practical questions I will post later as I'm not an international traveler. Now my biggest fear(This fear exists were ever I would met the next Mrs.). If you read my profile, you know I was morbidly obese for many years due to an undiagnosed low testosterone problem. I was divorced, depressed, and avoided people in general. I was 100% convinced any romantic relationship with a lady would never be in the cards. Now picture this-I got my testosterone levels normalized to the level of a 30 year old male(patches), lost 165 pounds, worked out(weights and aerobics) to keep the weight off, and met a very attractive lady(AW-naturally) 11 years younger would initially was madly in love with me and idolized me. So I fell real hard for her. I felt for once my life was perfect and was incredibly happy! Then problems started and to make a long story short, she dumps me for another man after 2+ years together(on and off). Man I was in extreme emotional pain for over a year! I NEVER want to go through that again! I know there are no guarantees and I could hear 100 stories from you guys who have also loved and lost! But that's my biggest fear anyway! I'll post my questions later.
Thanks for the encouragement!

... in response to Thanks for the advise! I really mean it!..., posted by Zorrowins on Oct 10, 2003

I think we have something in common concerning appearance. When I was 16 I was 5'2 and the shortest person in my high school, I marvel at some of the abuse that I took. I became a comedian to ward off the abuse and buried myself in books to deal with the situation. That was probably the best for me as it has paid major dividends.  So in retrospect, it wasn't all bad even though I saw nothing positive in life at that time. Here is the wild part of this account, I grew 6 inches over 1 summer, and another 4 inches in the next 2 years. To make a long story short, I still had what I call 'little man syndrome' for quite sometime and avoided social gatherings and women even though now I was 6 ft tall. Today nothing could be further from the truth, I get invites to many social gatherings and have no problem with women. What attracts me to latinas besides good looks and being sexy, are traditional values that they seem to hold in high esteem. I have been fortunate to travel extensively, live in other countries, and have met latinas all over the globe. To this day the Dominican Republic and Colombia are my favorite places. I am beginning to narrow down the choices that I have and will be in Colombia in two weeks to pare down the list even further. I would love to have a stable family in the near future.
Trust me, you will never be the same once you get on the plane and see the difference. If you have truly overcome the mental barriers of your past, you will be extremely successful. Afterwards, you will begin relating accounts such as yours to others exhorting them to do the same. I am looking forward to hearing from you in the future.
JSlo
Real men don't allow things happen to them
They make things happen!

... in response to Re: Thanks for the advise! I really mean..., posted by JSlo on Oct 11, 2003

Thanks for your comments. A quick story to back up your point that we are all often trapped by our minds-A student put several grasshoppers in a jar with the lid on(With holes so they could breathe). Naturally they jumped to escape, but kept hitting the lid. So eventually they quit trying to escape because the "knew" or were conditioned to the fact there was no escape. Well the lid was removed. Not one grasshopper ever tried to escape. They all remained in the open jar until they died. Good lesson for all of us!!!!

... in response to Thanks for the advise! I really mean it!..., posted by Zorrowins on Oct 10, 2003

Hi Zorrowins,

Like the Nike commercial says:  "Just do it!"

I'm glad you decided to go Colombia. It will change your life. In reference to that woman who broke your heart, was she the Narcissist? If yes, you will laugh at her memory when you return from Colombia. You will wonder why you put up with it for so long. Give us a trip report when you return.

In regards to what you call "your biggest fear". I look back on my EX American woman and realize that she threw red flags early in the relationship that I didn't recognize because I was too blinded by her beauty. I am a lot wiser now and I'm sure you are too. Just pay more attention to these warnings next time. There are no guarantees that it won't happen again but I'm sure the chances are much smaller because you are now wiser. Among the personality traits to look for, I would keep "heart of gold" top on your list.
Good luck.

I will send you an email soon.

Zack

... in response to Re: Thanks for the advise! I really mean..., posted by zack on Oct 11, 2003

Though I've never met you I feel like I've known you for years. It's a relief to have someone who really understands what happened to me. (Unfortunately for both of us- I wouldn't wish my experience on my worst enemy!). Though I've continued to work out at the gym I've been recently overeating again. It stopped last night and now I know why. It's very simple actually I finally acknowledged to myself that I really want a young attractive wife along with the love that all that entails! I also acknowledge that I won't find such a women here in the USA with an AW. So it's off to Colombia! All the testimonies here from you guys have shown me it's not only possible, but doable! And by the way fyi I'm not particularly ugly nor handsome-but pretty much an average 55 year old male in good shape. I have just acknowleged that the young attractive ladies are probably just not in the cards in the USA.

And yes their were very many red flags that I either ignored or diluted myself into thinking that all I needed to do was persevere and "prove" my love to her(The Narcissist) and surely she would change. I failed to mention that one of the traits of Narcissim is the total lack of empathy. They are so self absorbed they don't really love you or anyone else except themselves. They can fake love very well. In fact it's not deliberate on there part. They just don't and have never had empathy. I believe they instintively know that there is something wrong with them. In my research as soon as you fall in love with them, that's the beginning of the end. They really don't know how to accept love, it makes their lack of the ability to love very real to them, it in fact makes them somewhat jealous, so they make sure they kill it(your love of course). All they really want in a relationship is bare bones maintenance. And of course without empathy it's easy to cheat on your partner-why not? So these people are not trustworthy, faithful, give a damn about your needs or wants, and are absolute control freaks. Of course they are very secretive and present a "perfect" image of a saint to the outside world! There main goal in life is to project their "perfect" image and have others admire them! Not exactly what anyone would want in a relationship!

... in response to You guys who live in high priced areas ..., posted by Zorrowins on Oct 10, 2003

Try Colombia.You will forget the 45 year olds who are not available.You will forget them if they were available.
Raise your expectations and  Catch a plane.The difference is unbelievable.

Pete

... in response to You guys who live in high priced areas ..., posted by Zorrowins on Oct 10, 2003

Since there aren't that many ladies over 35 in the agencies I suggest contacting some agencies and tell them what you're looking for.

They will put the word out and have you a whole list of ladies just waiting to meet you. Women the world over know how to work the the girlfriend circuit.

You might even find a lady whose kids are grown and she's just sitting around waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her away.

A woman once told me you should approach every woman you meet as either a potential date or someone who KNOWS someone who could be a potential date.

Use all available resources. Make the best of it all.
Good luck.

... in response to You guys who live in high priced areas ..., posted by Zorrowins on Oct 10, 2003

While I was in Cali I met a couple of ladies over 40 that made most AWs under 30 look like a mud fence. Toss in personalities and the desparity skyrockets. You hear a lot of talk about being careful dating Colombianas more than 20 years younger. That mostly applies to women in their 20s. That shouldn't concern you. You will be amazed what a premium you will have looking for ladies in their 30s. Those women get very little attention in the agencies. Of the ladies over thirty that I met most had never even been contacted and if they had it was only once or twice. Don't think of LWs in the same terms as you do AWs. They are from different planets. Everyone keeps telling you the same thing. I know exactly how you feel. Its all to good to be true. I remember the night before I left asking myself how I could have been sucked into thinking things could be better in Cali. After all women are the same. Thank God I went. My life has been forever altered. If you go yours will be also.

... in response to DUDE, GET ON THE PLANE!!!, posted by littlebhuddha on Oct 10, 2003

Example.In the US just about anywhere my wife goes she is the best looking woman there.Guys are hitting on her all the time.In Cali as a 33 year old she couldn't find a Colombian who would take her and her kid,including the kids father.And I was the only gringo that interviewed her in 6 months at the agency I met her at.
Here she has lots of choices.Just like we do in Cali.
Completely different world.Don't die before experiencing it.

Pete

... in response to DUDE, GET ON THE PLANE!!!, posted by littlebhuddha on Oct 10, 2003

nuff said...

... in response to You guys who live in high priced areas ..., posted by Zorrowins on Oct 10, 2003

Holy cow man, I knew it was bad in the States but not that bad. Another classic example of the politically correct feminist BS pussifcation of the American male.  Why on earth would any man with red blood in his veins be HOPING to find a woman old enough to be a grandmother!

I am not trying to slam you, you are a victim (yes men can be victims too) of the insane nonsense going on in the USA.  You only live once, you are at the best time of your life. You have money, good health, go for the gold.

Don't sit around and wait for your life to end, go find some or possibly many beautiful young latinas and have the time of your life.

Time is a wasting, tic...tic... tic...

mike

... in response to You guys who live in high priced areas ..., posted by Zorrowins on Oct 10, 2003

Z,

I have a couple of friends that are married to Calenas, some living in Cali and some in the states.  They are mainly between 45-55, and all have wives no older than 30.  One really good friend is 53 and his wife is 25, he works out and is young at heart.  They've been married for 3 years and are happy.  I think you're biggest issue is going to be the attitude adjustment necessary to believe that young, attractive women could genuinely be interested in you.  The second will be kicking yourself for waiting so long to go.  Good Luck -TNC

... in response to You guys who live in high priced areas ..., posted by Zorrowins on Oct 10, 2003

Why waste time justifying why it's OK to look outside the USA for a wife? It doesn't make sense. Did someone tell you it's immoral or illogical?

I like to ocean fish. I don't even bother stopping at the heavily fished local fishing spots near the harbor, but just head off to Catalina Island. It's a lot more fun and I catch a lot more fish, the scenery is nicer, the sea conditions more pleasant, and I get to see a lot more interesting things in the the hour and a half ride across the channel. On top of that, no one has ever said, I was a loser because I didn't hang around and scratch and pick a few low quality fish just outside LA Harbor.

- Jeff

... in response to Calipro is right., posted by Jeff S on Oct 10, 2003

Of course there are hundreds of different reasons and qualification standards in finding that perfect mate and there are any number of personal likes and desires that have to be taken into consideration and should be...BUT...

Just to get down to the bottom line:
Why make love to a 45 year old (or older) American woman (and I have) when you can be making love to a 35 year old (or younger) Colombiana (and I also have)?

... in response to Re: Calipro is right. And another thing., posted by Freddie on Oct 10, 2003

Since I married a foreign bride a couple years older than I am - but yes, I'd prefer making love to her than any 25 year old from anywhere. Not only that, but when she's 75, I plan on still feeling the same way. Call me old fashioned, but I believe that comittment means comittment.

- Jeff

... in response to You guys who live in high priced areas ..., posted by Zorrowins on Oct 10, 2003

You could be wasting your time if you are really looking for a 45 year old women in Colombia. Most agencies won't have any or very few women that age. You better shoot for the 30 to 35 year olds and if you are in good shape you will have no problem attracting them.
Oh and be ready for the "you know what else" because the 35 year olds in Colombia don't get near as much attention as the 25 year olds .

By the way I wouldn't sit around trying to rationized why you can't seem to hook up with a nice american women. It's not easy no matter where you live. Just go down and get something you really like in Colombia and when you got her here, don't try and rationalize why she is so interested in you either.

... in response to You guys who live in high priced areas ..., posted by Zorrowins on Oct 10, 2003

Don't know what kind of woman you are willing to accept, but my experience is that it is very difficult to meet attractive women (I don't mean supermodel attractive, just someone who you are physically attracted to) who are interested in someone our age.  I was divorced in 1999 and in the four years I was divorced, before I decided to look into Latin women, I dated maybe seven or eight women, two that I dated long enough to be called girlfriends.  I met all the non-girlfriends via online chatrooms or dating websites and in-person none of them were very attractive, some were downright ugly, but all had posted semi-attractive or attractive pictures in their ads (lot of lying and denial going on).  Most of the women were five to ten years younger than my age (I was mid to late 40s at the time).  I only dated one of these woman more than once and she told me on our second date she was looking for a man to take care of her because she was tired of working and that was the last time I went out with her too.

Of my two girlfriends, I met one in a chatroom and one at a bicycle club I was a member of.  The one in a chatroom was in her early 20s and was my first woman I was interested in after my divorce and I made the naive mistake of believing what she said about herself and let her put me off from meeting her for almost 1 1/2 years.  When I finally did meet her I found out she had been lying to me about what she looked like the whole time and was over 100 pounds overweight.  The other girlfriend was about my age but had so much baggage that after a couple months I couldn't stand to be with her (also first woman I ever met who said it was abnormal and impossible for a woman to climax during sex).

When I was younger I had several attractive girlfriends with nice personalities and was married to a nice, attractive American woman for 13 years, but looking for someone after my divorce was very different.  For most of my divorce I lived near Manhattan or near Miami so it wasn't my location that caused the dearth of women.

That finally led me to look in Colombia.  Unlike many others on this board, I wasn't particular interested in Latin women beforehand, just that Latin women gave me the chance that American women wouldn't.  I am now married to a beautiful 33 year old woman from Bogota since February of this year and we are  expecting a son next February.

... in response to Re:  You guys who live in high priced ar..., posted by lswote on Oct 10, 2003

That happened to a friend of mine, he corresponded with a woman from Cincinatti (we're in Dallas) for over a year and was sending her money and everything, but he had never even seen a picture of her. We kept telling him 'Dude, there's a REASON she isn't sending you a picture' and he said 'well, yeah, she doesn't have a camera' and we said 'every Walmart and Kmart in the country has a coin operated photo both, make her send you a picture'....finally, he drove to Cincinatti, told everybody who would listen that he was going to get married and bring her back. He was back, ALONE, three days later.

-So you're back early. What happened?
-She LIED to me.
-Yeah, like how?
-She has a weight problem.
-Yeah? Well that's no reason....I mean if you like everything else about her and all...
-(mumble, mumble) 300 pounds (mumble, mumble)
-What? She weighs 300 pounds!!!??
-You weren't listening, I said she needs to LOSE 300 pounds, she weighs 490.

... in response to Re: Re:  You guys who live in high price..., posted by Michael B on Oct 10, 2003

Good one Mike ! You made me laugh out loud.

... in response to Re: Re: Re:  You guys who live in high p..., posted by BenKramer1 on Oct 10, 2003

Yeah, but it's true. Here's something else he did: Came in all excited
-I've got a date tonight with xxxxx
-Yeah, where you going?
-Red Neck Heaven (or somesuch place like that)
-I thought you hated country music
-I do, but we're celebrating, her divorce is final today
-Wait a minute, is this that one you were telling me about about a month ago, she's getting divorced from her x-con husband, the one who beats her up all the time and did six years for assult with a deadly weapon? The one that doesn't WANT to be divorced? The one who swore that if he ever found her with another man that he'd kill them both?
-Yeah, that's the one
-Don't you see a problem here?
-No, what kind of problem?
-Well, how about he walks into the joint and SHOOTS you?
-Don't be silly, he couldn't do that, everybody knows that in Texas it's against the law to bring firearms into a place where liquor is sold.