Print Page - What about looks ?

Dallas Steve commented that this response was too far down the list for some to see it. So I moved it to the top because I think there are closet snipers who are judgemental about other's looks --ugly men and old men. It seems these perfect guys only have to have the hotties and the rest of us are dreamers. If as the premise goes the latinas are tired of the Colombian Princes what would make them shift to American Princes of equal shallowness.

It seems to me our members must come from a list of former Mr. Universe contestants. I looked at the pictures and found not one guy I would call ugly there were several that were good looking.I have been to the agencies and have seen the crazies, the guys that look normal but but their pysche would scare a shrink. I have seen guys in wigs so bad they looked like clowns. The spectrum of people there is as broad as the internet that spawned them. The girls are not the cream of Colombian society either.

The agencies are filled with people. It is that simple.

Pretty little neurotics, wonderful women with children in a society where men will only use them. Beauty queens looking for the brass ring and intelligent women looking to change their lives. Mix this with lonely American men looking for love and companionship and you have the fantasy.

Everyone starts with two strikes and steps up to the plate. Sure, there are guys like me who are overage and maybe out of shape, but don't condem us, you will join us soon enough. We have things to offer also, experience, stability, confidence in our futures and maybe even enough wealth to make her happy. Believe me I don't mind paying. A relationship is never free. I would never ridicule a man for his looks. He has a right to the best woman he can find. I was very attractive when I was young, but things change. Hopefully our mindset changes with age and believe it or not some women are attracted to wisdom, confidence and stability. Particularly intelligent women. jim c

... in response to What about looks ?, posted by jim c on Sep 16, 2003

[This message has been edited by wizard]

Good post Jim...

You're right in that we all, gringos and latinas, start this process with basically two strikes against us... We are all searching for something that we can't find at home... Mature men who have for the most part survived failed relationships with AW and latinas who have visions of a better life dancing around in their heads... The fantasy is easy to buy into and it takes wise people to peer through the fog and grasp reality...

Having said that, it IS possible to grab the brass ring... Both parties can have their cake and eat it too... Just take your time, be honest with yourself and have respect for the ladies you come into contact with...

Sure, you're going to run into some neurotic women and psychotic men in the process, but that's part of the natural selection process... Water seeks it's own level... So let's just hope that these folks pair off and spawn a few sociopaths along the way...

Like playing poker, you need to know when to bet, when to call and when to fold... If you don't like the cards that are dealt to you, just play again another day...

Any goal worth achieving is appreciated only to the level of effort required to attain it...

... in response to What about looks ?, posted by jim c on Sep 16, 2003

Excellent post. It's all about what the women are looking for. Do they want a good man, stable , older? Or a great looking, rich, young american man? They have goals and personal standards too. A few months back my novia an I took a weekend trip to a small mountain town Mazamitla, a couple hours south of Guadalajara to excape the heat. The town revolved around a large church in the town square. I noticed many young girls, 18-23 range, in groups, few boys. I told my novia her oldest son would do well here for a girlfriend, many good looking young girls. She replied, you would too, there are no boys here, they all go to Guadalajara to work. Even at MY age? Yes, she said, age differences are even less important in the smaller towns, the girls just want a good man.
A1A

... in response to What about looks ?, posted by jim c on Sep 16, 2003

What can be considered attractive in a man can be alot different than a woman.
Let me give you 2 examples.Charles Bronson.Not at all pretty,you could even say ugly,but he had a rugged look that was considered handsom by many.He described his look as a rock quarry that had been dynamited.
Clint Eastwood.Maybe a pretty boy in his younger years,now considered rugedly handsom at about 71.He has a 30 year old latina wife.
Of course these guys had money and fame also,a natural afrodesiac(sp?).
Its never too late to get the body in shape.I'm working on that myself.Even though I have worked out since 16 years old
I should lose about 15 lbs.There are lots of other things you can do.I color my hair.Nobody is more aware of it than me,but I think its important not to look in the mirror and say"man you are getting old.There is no quicker easier way to look younger.But to each his own.You are probably happy with your silver fox look and it pribably suits you."Maybe it is self deception,but I think I look about 50 instead of my 60 years.Any testimonials from guys who know me?If I lose 15 lbs and get rid of the beard I might look 45.
Young guys can have an attitude about age that will certainly change as they get older.Life doesn't end at 60.
My hero is Pablo Picasso.When he was 93 he threw a big party.He was the life of it.He just didn't get up the next day.He lived life to the fullest right to his last day.
And latinaland can cut an older guy alot of slack.Older men can be considered stable,which most of the young ones are not.Contrary to some opinions here,huge age differences,if not common,are certainly heard of in Colombia.I knew a Colombiana who's first Husband was 46 years older than her.
Age will be more important to some women than others.What they consider attractive can vary alot also.You do need to hang out with the woman long enough to know she really cares for you.Some will,some won't,sometimes there is no logic to it at all.
So a 60 year old in good shape can easily have women in their 30's if he wants.The trick is choosing the right one.

Pete

... in response to Re: "I color my hair", posted by cancunhound on Sep 16, 2003

I didn't color my beard untill 40 and my hair untill 50.But I don't even want to see what it would look like now,probably half gray.I don't want to look like Gabby Hayes(Roy Rogers old sidekick)
If only all the other symtoms of aging were as easy to fix as that one.
No,its not metrosexual.I am about as far from metrosexual as you can get.

Pete

... in response to What about looks ?, posted by jim c on Sep 16, 2003

It is not about looks. It is about telling if the woman really is attracted to you. I have posted my pic many times and am far from Brad Pitt. Tell me you have not seen guys at the agency, who probably have not had a date or certainly not a woman as "hot" as the ones at the agency, all smiles posing for pics with a woman that has a look on her face that screams, "I would rather be getting root canal".

... in response to What about looks ?, posted by jim c on Sep 16, 2003

There are lots of pics where the "average guy" is posing with a
younger attractive woman that looks GENUINELY happy to be with him. It is not about the looks difference it is about reading body language which is hard to do when you are "in the candy store". Attention starved men, might blow even the slightest attention out of proportion.

I have posted my pic here many times, and am far from being the runner up in the Brad Pitt look alike contest. I could care less, my ex wife and my current novia always make it painfully clear that they are happy to be with me, and never have a look as if they'd rather get root canal.

http://www.latinintro.com/images/tours/20030703/July4thTour/tour07040312.html

I didn't say this guy was ugly. I said, she looks far from thrilled to be posing with him. He is practivally suffocating her, and her body language is saying "take the damn picture already".

... in response to Not the point, posted by Ralph on Sep 16, 2003

First of all, in this picture she appears to be short and fat, the guy on the other hand is not bad looking, tall, and thin. I don't really think it matters one way or the other but this is not the best case to support the argument that hot ladies are taking mercy on ugly foreign men and marrying them for money. I have also taken quite a few pictures myself where the photos have not come out well and the expressions have been skewed. Eyes closed, mouth open, no smile, and it was just bad timing (or I just look bad and did not know it;). All things considered in a relationship each person is looking for something in the partner. Each person comes to the table with something to offer. Each person regardless of age, economic station, looks, etc. is attempting to find someone to meet some need they have. Most guys that goes abroad, are going abroad with an economic advantage and are attractive to the ladies for that reason. In addition, none of the women young or old that are registered with the agencies if they were honest when asked could say that economics was not a consideration. This line about American men are faithful and thats why they want us is a line of crap. That is something that can only be looked at case by case.

... in response to Re: Not the point, posted by luvslife on Sep 16, 2003

Everybody takes bad pictures once in a while. That is why I said take a TON of em. If in every pic your novia looks like that one. . . . . .
Once again it is not about looks. As you pointed out, in that photo the guy was probably better looking than she was. She still looks like she'd rather be getting a pap smear, than to be with him. No, you can't tell from one photo, but if he had a bunch where she looked like that. . . . .

... in response to Re: Re: Not the point, posted by Cali vet on Sep 16, 2003

CV,

If that's the case why are you living in Cali? Or is this a fishing expedition? :)

Every women is different, and while living in the US is the biggest priority for some women, certainly not all are that way.

1st priority for my Novia is a faithful, hardworking man that respects his wife and puts the family first. Every women I met in Venezuela had the same things to say about Venezuelan men; they were lazy, unfaithful, abusive, controlling, excessively jealous, etc.

From my experience, most of the men I met were very friendly, good company and very helpful. But when it came to women, they said that every man should have 7 women...one for each day.

My novia's father has an ongoing affair with a 25 year old and has a child with her. He is a good man, I really like him, but I think that his affair is destructive to the family in many ways. His wife kicked him out of the bedroom and he now sleeps on a hammock in the back of the house. Other than that he is a good husband and father.

If anyone does not believe that most of the latin men are that way, I'd say they have never seen it first hand. Of course, not all are that way, but most of the good ones are not available. The women are certainly not angels, its just that they are the ones who are dominated my the men.

Next, would be physical attraction. She says that most of the men in her town are ugly. Of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder...she is just not attracted to them.

Coming to the US for her is just icing on the cake. She just cannot find the life she wants in her own country. If I could get a decent paying job in Venezuela, she would be happy, but she and her son would have better opportunities in the US.

Tim.

... in response to Re: Re: Not the point, posted by Cali vet on Sep 16, 2003

That is why I am the one not impressed by photos of guys and their "conquests". So, if a guy is surrounded by women that are NOT smiling, he has less shot than a fox terrier?

If the woman cringing in every photo, find another one, or start coming your hair like a terrier!

I am doing like you are right now. I live in her country, but I doubt it will be permanent. We live above a Colmado in an apartment that costs 120 bucks per month, little furniture, but DSL, computers and so forth. I doubt she is after my vast fortune;-)

She also has a sis in CT. The sis has not seen her 4 year old son in 3 years, because the husband left the 1 year old son in the DR when he brought his wife up. When I first met my novia she wanted NO part of going to the states. I think she knows me better by now and knows I would never want her to be apart from her son, so she is most likely much more receptive now.

... in response to Not the point, posted by Ralph on Sep 16, 2003

Let me get this straight. If the women isn't smiling and looking comfortable in the picture then she doesn't really like the guy and if she is smiling and hugging the guy she must really be in love with him. Right?

I was just looking at some pictures from my last trip and the women that I thought liked me the most aren't smiling all that much in the photos. Ralph, how about I send you the photos and then you can tell me which women like me the most.

Don't laugh guys. He is probably better than the fortune teller I'm using now!

... in response to Not the point, posted by Ralph on Sep 16, 2003

Once again I think you are reading WAY too much into this picture. I agree that the woman looks uncomfortable, but it might have nothing to do with the guy she is with. She might be someone who hates having their picture taken (I know I sure do) and the guy might be trying to loosen her up for the picture by exhibiting a little outrageous behavior.

I think I spoiled everyone of my wedding photos despite the fact that my wife shined like a beautiful butterfly because I hate getting my picture taken and unless I consciously smile more than is natural for me I look like a real sourpuss and very unhappy. But I am not unhappy, I just am not photogenic and the same is true for other people.

Here is perhaps the only picture I know of that shows someone unhappy with someone else. It is a picture of me and my ex-wife and kids back in the mid-90s. My oldest daughter absolutely detested me at the time and I think it shows in this picture but perhaps only to me.
http://www.geocities.com/lswote/family1.jpg

It is very hard to read into pictures why someone is unhappy and I think you are being unjust deciding if a woman is happy or unhappy just because of her date at the time.

... in response to Re: Not the point, posted by lswote on Sep 16, 2003

In your pics your face says, you are not crazy about taking pictures, but your body language does not say you don't want to be with your wife. In your family pic, the second oldest daughter looked even more "pissed".

I am not saying to base one's decision soley on photos, but if you take a bunch, it will give a decent indication.

My ex wife HATED taking pics. She never wanted me to take any.
I took a TON. She looked happier in pics with me than when I snapped some of her solo. Many times she would be looking at me rather than the camera etc. her body language, said she adored me. Anybody that saw us together said the same thing. Things didn't work out, but not for lack of love on both sides.

I'll post pics here of my current novia and me.

http://community.webshots.com/photo/43566496/43566717oSzocV

http://community.webshots.com/photo/43566496/43566637DAdZkh

http://community.webshots.com/photo/43566496/43566556emruWH

http://community.webshots.com/photo/43566496/43585493seNkZa

http://community.webshots.com/photo/43566496/90650839POpiXk

http://community.webshots.com/photo/43566496/90651082BKRXZF

http://community.webshots.com/photo/43566496/90651691zoRXwS

I'll try and dig an post pics of my ex. There are tons where you can tell she hates taking pics, but you can also tell she adored me. Not liking to take pics and not looking like you want to be with someone are actually quite different. You can't always tell from one photo, but if you take a TON, it is much easier. Still you would never base your decision soley on pics.

... in response to Yep, that's Ralph..., posted by Bueller on Sep 16, 2003

One of them was hers!!! I just held it for the picture.
Of course trying to find a picture of me in the DR without a Presidente in my hand or on the table in front of me would be VERY hard!

Not really. Since the first bunch of trips I made down there were really "vacation", we'd go out to eat, dance, drink and party pretty much every night.

Once we moved in together she would make sure to have Presidentes in the fridge. Then she saw that I would never dirnk any of them. I never drink at home. Maybe one night if we don't feel like going out on a friday or saturday but the whole neghborhood is downstairs at the Colmado, blasting music, playing dominoes and drinking, we'll get a few "grandes" sit on the balcany and have a few beers etc.

I think she thought I drank every day, like I did when I was on vacation! No way. When she sees me go 2-3 weeks without a sip, she thinks maybe I am sick or something;-)

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GoodWife / Planet-Love Archives => Threads started in 2003 => Topic started by: jim c on September 16, 2003, 04:00:00 AM