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This story, along with the recent posts, and my own experience with greedy ladies, has motivated me to post my two cents about this issue. I could go into a long list of ways to avoid the greedy ladies, but they probably have already been discussed on this board. I know that Patrick has mentioned a few.

But I recently came up with a simple way to avoid being hooked into
a relationship with a greedy lady. It has worked great so far. Typically on the first or second date, a lady will ask if I have ever been to Colombia. I tell them yes, I have been to Cali several times. When they ask why, I tell them that I was involved with a lady there for several months until she started asking me for money. She was HISTORY within a few days after that.

That always gets their attention and makes them realize that you will not put up with such behavior. I have not been involved with a greedy lady since then. But I don't take this too far and make myself look selfish. Giving to a lady and her family is a good thing sometimes.

Zack

I wouldn't recommend this approach.  You're playing your hand way too early and expecting that your words will somehow scare all greedy gals away.  

A more likely scenario is that the gold-digger is now on gaurd because you've told her up front what you don't like.  She'll now be very careful with what she asks for and wait until you have some emotional investment before asking for something.

Is working gringos for money a function of a woman's personality (agressive women expect money in return for their time, beauty, sexual favors), or is it a function of age and class, (younger women from poorer economic situations are more likely to ask for money) or is it pervasive in the culture and most Colombianas expect it?
I'm curious to know what the posters think.

I was never asked for anything more then cab fare (which I thought was entirely reasonable), I met over 40 women in Bogota and Cartagena in a month through agencies, went out with something like 17 for at least a first date and no one ever hit on for me for money. Hard to believe that even with an "engineering approach" I chose all sincere women!

But for the most part, it is a universal thing. A man with money in America can get a woman via the same process.

You were in Cartegena and Bogota for one month and were never asked for money. That is no suprize to me considering that in my experience, it takes a few months before they ask. Among the ladies that you kept in touch with, did any ask you for money down the road?

Zack

Of the two I felt the strongest about, I am in still regular touch with both and one of the two asked me to send her not money, but English language home and interior decorating magazines.  I didn't mind picking out a few magazines and mailing them.  The other has never asked me for anything, wouldn't even take cab fare when I dated her in Bogota.

I don't know where you've traveled but IMO dressing down in Colombia is a bad idea.  Even the poorest of the poor in Cali, are well groomed when the occasion is appropriate.  The first date with a good Colombian woman would definitely be such an occasion. You want to attract women from middle class backgrounds who have some class not women who are desperate.  You'll make a far better impression by wearing clothes that look nice.  Slacks, belt that matches your shoes, nice shirt, even jeans are OK if the overall look is presentable.  Also, don't forget to put on a nice cologne.

I wore nice conservative golf shirts, tropical worsted slacks, shined leather loafers, a very good leather belt matching the loafers, sometimes a sports jacket or blazer, cologne, a plain Timex watch with a leather strap If it was a casual date, I wore Docksiders and clean white sneakers.  And I still felt underdressed some of the time!  

Cologne, trimmed and clean nails, brushed teeth, fresh breath, a good haircut, it all adds up.

You might be inadvertently wising up the would-be gold digger by such a statement.  I actually prefer a woman who plays this hand early, that way I know not to take her seriously.  As I posted before, I recently was in communication with a lady from Cali that I met through a Latin introduction site.  The very first conversation she asked for money, as she did on the second and third, mixed in with the "corazon" and "honey" baloney.  I immediately knew she was a taker and an insincere woman.  I would not consider telling her what I thought to benefit the next gringo she comes across.  What do you think, putting them in their place or is this just making them smarter the next go around?

Food for thought.

Pablo

You were with a woman that asked you for money during the first, second, and third conversations?? Wow, that is a first for me. Most of the gold-diggers I've met are smarter than that. It typically takes them a few days, if not weeks, to ask. Some wait until there is a sexual relationship. In her case, yes, no need to make that statement to her. Just give her the boot.

I know what you are saying about wising up a would-be gold digger by such a statement. But some of these ladies are good at hiding their hidden agendas, and Sometimes I just don't have a choice but to put them in their place. I can only spend so much time in Colombia because of my work schedule and I don't have the time for insincere women. No matter how wise they become with such statements, they still will not withstand a gringo who has a backbone and doesn't let beauty or sex cloud his thinking.

Zack

Not to be offensive, but do you really think with your statement after the first or second date with a Latina that it will weed out any scammers?  After hearing your comments, the insincere lady, if intelligent, would simply not ask for money.  How does your comment bring to light any hidden agendas on their part and make a short trip south more productive?  She'd never confess, "Yep you caught me Zack, I is a gold digger".  Maybe it would just delay the real attitudes/motivations until later when they thought you would be more receptive.  The sincere lady might think you were paranoid, tight with your money and perhaps machista, and I doubt would admire that verbal backbone by putting her in place.

It takes time to see what a heart of a person is like.  Sometimes it can be evident right away, both negative and positive, but usually it takes time to discover. I'm just glad there are lots of nice sincere women there to offset the few insincere ones.

I agree with what you're saying 100 percent.  Zack's plan to scare off gold-diggers may in the end only scare off the good ones.

I'm not saying that it is a perfect method that will weed out all scammers. Agreed, nobody will say "you got me Zack, I'm a gold digger." But some will quietly move on to an easier target.

It probably works best on the huge players, the ladies who have no intention on moving to the USA, who join agencies just to be wined and dined, and have money given to them.
These ladies are looking for a man who has the word "doormatt" written on their forehead. I  have encountered a few.

In addition to being up front, I also tell them that I give money to help my mother, and also donate to various charities, which is true. I try to paint a picture of myself as someone who is giving and generous, but also
someone who has been around the block, has a backbone, and is not a doormatt.

Zack

You're right. The scammers thus far have been pretty detectable.

Zack

For example: If a lady tells you she's moody, you can take it to the bank that there will be major mood swings to contend with in your future if you stick it out.

I know what you are saying. But the problem is, if you wait for them to throw a red flag, you may have a long wait, as in el colombiano's case. His lady did not throw a huge red flag until they were engaged.

Personally, I would rather weed out the bad ones early on.
That would save a lot of time, money, and heartache.

Zack