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But the HUGE advantage to mastering Spanish prior to going to Colombia - that's hogwash, what competition are you referring to - a spelling B? You guys looking for a Colombian bride don't have any competition, what you have is a smorgasboard.

From my point fo view I think cancunhound is right about the lack of competition.  Personally, in a month in Bogota/Cartagena, I never directly asked a woman if they were seeing other men from the agencies, or if they were seeing Colombianos.  Granted, I wasn't trawling for 20 year old calenas, I was meeting and dating women from 34-42 or so.  I did't see the point in asking the question or even bringing up "competition." I told women the absolute truth at every first sita, I have been divorced for almost 3 years, live by myself and have no ongoing relationships in the US with women before coming to Colombia and openly seeking a wife. Many women would volunteer their personal situations, a few said that if we got to know each other better, they would tell me more. And my feeling was that since I was on my best behavior, they were too and eventually if the relationship lasted long enough, I would learn what I wanted to know about the woman.

The huge advantage to learning Spanish before going to SA is simple, there are more women to choose from and even nore importantly, a better understanding of the women you are meeting and dating.  This has been discussed so many times, but I can't imagine going to SA, meeting and dating a Latina, proposing marriage without having a clear understanding of her character, values, life, family, etc.  That is not to say I wouldn't be tempted do it!  I came very close to a marriage proposal based on knowing a woman in Cartagena for only 4 days, but my brain prevailed over my heart.  I felt that I didn't know the woman well enough and just as importantly, I didn't know what her answer would be.  

But, the only way a Norteamericano is going to really learn about a woman is to learn as much Spanish as possible, , unless of course she speaks very good to excellent English. I'm not fluent in Spanish, but I learned enough to have some pretty good conversations with women, and I think that the women I met appreciated my efforts.      

- Jeff S.

I'm happy that it worked out for you and you didn't need to learn the language.  By the way, is your wife back from visitng her family? Did she have a good time?  D.

I don't mean to say learning the language is unnecessary in the long run, but so many guys coming into this already are pretty overwelmed by the idea of traveling to another country and meeting strange women in strange circumstances, and the idea that they might have to learn another language on top of it might seem like too much for them.  I am just saying that from my experience it isn't necessary to know Spanish or for women to know English to establish a successful relationship.

However in the long run it is essential you be able to communicate fully and learn each other's languages.  My wife is taking ESL classes for 3 hours Monday through Friday and her English is growing in leaps in bounds.  In fact she kind of wierded me out because since she got back from Colombia Sunday she has been say "Yes" all the time instead of "Si" and I keep wondering who is this strange English speaking woman who looks just like my wife.

I am learning Spanish by my wife speaking it, which I am coming to the conclusion is not enough.  When I get home from work I just want to veg out and the idea of studying Spanish is not something that appeals to me.  But my wife's father continually asks how my Spanish is because he wants to be able to talk to me when I visit at Christmas and I think I am going to have to make more of an effort to learn than just learning from my wife.

 If you already know the basics and really want to put your learning in high gear, force yourself to think in Spanish. It's really hard at first, but very, very effective. Carry a pocket dictionary for when you get stuck (which will be quite often at first), plus a small notebook to write down any words and phrases that you need to look up in a more complete dictionary.

 If you want a good CD-ROM dictionary, do a search for "oxford spanish" on eBay. 240,000/170,000 is far from the most complete dictionary you'll ever find, but for $6 it's unbeatable, and being able to load and research words on your hard drive is a great convenience.

The point is, Latinos are much much less direct than americans. This pervades all aspects of life. They do not like to say things in an out and out direct manner, especially disparaging comments about family life. Therefore you might want to save these little secrets for much later in the relationship. If a Latino tells you "I think I can do something." or "I think I can come to your party." that means they can't come. If they really wanted to come they would say yes and then if something comes up, they just wouldnt show up.

Based on my post what would lead you to even think I made any disparaging comments about my ex wife or family life?  Aaron, I'm not a social cretin, I know what to say to a lady and what not to say.  Your gratuitous advice is neither wanted or welcomed.  And don't bother firing back a "Dude..., etc., etc. It's an old and tired act.

So you are basically admitting on your first meeting with these women that 1) You lost your first wife, but now want another one quick 2) You have absolutely NO prospects for women in the USA and that is why you came to Colombia.

Good strategy bub. This is the kind of overly direct behavior that I was refering to. By the way, who is this Aaron guy?

Why do you feel that CaliAdvisor is Aaron?  I have read his posts and don't see the reasons why you believe this.

Pablo

Then he posted that he is in Cali surrounded by many women, but none of them are girlfriends, just friends.  Just like Aaron and all his female friends that he had bank accounts for.  And his mentioning that he was going to look into getting a Colombian or Brazilian girlfriend when he gets back to New York is laughable.  Why would you look for a Colombian girlfriend somewhere else when you are in Colombia now?  Just plain ridiculous.

Then there is his mention in a thread after one of my posts criticizing him that he doesn't have time to respond now, but later he will post a response that will put me in my place.  Just like Aaron to say he was too busy to respond to someone's accusations again.  How many times did Aaron say he was too busy?

The final thing that makes me sure it is Aaron is that he knows all the ropes of the board, which means he has been around awhile either as a lurker or a poster and yet when confronted with being Aaron, he says "Who is this Aaron guy"?  Anyone who has been here much time at all knows who Aaron is.

After the few recently banned members and those few posters accusing Cheryl of being a troll you might still be in the search and destroy mode.  I'd agree with ya it does sound odd as to why someone is searching in Colombia as well as NY for Latinas. Say, isn't Aaron also from NY?

I wouldn't let CaliAdvisor get under your skin though.  We know how you feel about Aaron.  Give this guy some time and enough rope and if it is Aaron...well as they say you can't change spots on a leopard, or is that stripes on a tiger?  You get my point.

BTW, how is your wife doing?

I think only someone who has posted here before and moved past being a newbie would exhibit the arrogance of this poster.  Even Big Wally of a few months back started out humble in his approach.  And when he gained a little arrogance and then found he didn't have the audience he thought he would, he split, unlike this poster.

To put this issue in another light, let me ask you this.  What do you think the chances are that Aaron just went away after he was banned?  Do you really think he would just dry up and blow away after his unexpected banning (at least I think it was unexpected to him) without trying to find a way back on?  I think the chances are nil his ego would give up so easily and I think with his collegiate environment he could drum up at least one new email address to register with.

And if you accept my assumption that he is back on the board, then I ask you which new poster do you think most resembles Aaron?

   Actually Aaron committed suicide he knew he would get banned but he was pushing the envelope. Who ever this guy is he is arrogant and sensitive. He has knowledge but it is superficial.  At present he is holding back in his responses, but he certainly dislikes criticism. Let him puff up for a while and gets his final skin then you will know what he is. JIM C

(PS I think the sure bet on trolling right now is good 'ole Hans)

Same Aaron nastiness, editing someone's post and "spinning" the nastiest, most malicious comment you can make, in order to provoke a reaction. And you really think that spelling "dude" as "dood" is going to fool anyone? You've been outed by everyone on this board, troll. Get a life.