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I was just in Cali 2 weeks ago for the first time.  I meet several women but in the end they all seemed liked thy wanted something.  I was with one called Sandra and she seemed to be very nice for the first couple of dates.  Then she started hinting about needing money for bills.

My question, is this normal?

... in response to Cali Sharks, posted by CaliSurviver on Aug 12, 2003

I've posted before that about 30% of the women I dated from agencies asked for some money.  Now others say that never happens to them.  Maybe you and I just have "Sucker" written on our foreheads.  I, like you, didn't give them the money.

If you spent two weeks in Cali, please consider giving us a trip report.  Success or not, it's interesting to read about other men's experiences, especially in Cali.  It's the DisneyWorld of the foreign bride search.

Steve

... in response to Re: Cali Sharks, posted by DallasSteve2 on Aug 13, 2003

I think it depends on the type of women you're after.  I believe the young very attractive women are much more likely to be the high maintainence types, especially when they're dating men 20 years older than they are.  I think I once saw a photo of your first wife.  If she's any indication, it looks like you dated the young very attractive type. I don't think your 30% number would apply to someone else dating more average women, especially the more average women closer to the man's age.

When men are after much more than they can get here in the U.S. in terms of looks and age, they can probably expect to encounter a fair number of women expecting things from them.

... in response to How to be sure to encounter the Cali Sha..., posted by Patrick on Aug 13, 2003

With all due respect Patrick.  If I am looking for "Average"
I really wouldn't need to get on the plane.  Just my humble opinion.

... in response to How to be sure to encounter the Cali Sha..., posted by Patrick on Aug 13, 2003

What you wrote is correct.

Steve

... in response to Cali Sharks, posted by CaliSurviver on Aug 12, 2003

As a general rule, if a latina asks you for money after only a few dates, give her the boot. I learned this the hard way.

But this brings up the question "when is it safe to honor her request?" This is a matter of opinion. Some people beleive that once intimacy is established, it is O.K. Personally, unless I were married or damn near married,
I would look at a money request as a red flag. (but I know there are acceptions). I am not stereotyping latinas- I know there are a lot who never ask for money.

But I disagree with those who think that once intimacy is established, it is O.K. Some of these ladies will make the
"little head" happy in order to gain control of the big head.

Zack

... in response to Cali Sharks, posted by CaliSurviver on Aug 12, 2003

Why is it not OK to give them money if you are not intimate with them but if you are intimate with them it is OK to give them money? I don't understand this. What is the difference between this and prostitution?

Why are you guys giving these women money. I gave my novia a computer so she can email me every day. The monitor broke and I sent her $100 to buy a new one. I sent her money to prepare and send the papers for the K1 visa. Other than that I don't give her money. When I visit her I bring her small gifts. I wine and dine her but thats it. You guys that give these women money are the wones that are encouraging them to behave like this. Giving money to a women should have nothing to do with a relationship.

... in response to Why is it OK to give them money after yo..., posted by elcolombiano on Aug 13, 2003

EC,

Good to see that you've picked up a thing or two from your experiences.  Take Care & Good Luck -TNC

... in response to Why is it OK to give them money after yo..., posted by elcolombiano on Aug 13, 2003

El Colombiano

What is the difference between this and prostitution?

DON'T GET MARRIED!  

Just kidding.  Get married.  I want to read what you say after she really gets into your pockets.  Colombianas cost more than prostitutes.

Steve

... in response to Money, posted by DallasSteve2 on Aug 13, 2003

And when men think that because they are married they are not paying for it, I challenge them to stop paying the mortgage, the satellite tv, the car payment, and no money for the salon. Let's see how long she stays around.

... in response to Money, posted by DallasSteve2 on Aug 13, 2003

I would add that all wives, regardless of nationality, cost more.  Much more.

... in response to Re: Money, posted by Jersey Mike on Aug 13, 2003

O(OOOOOO I second that my friend!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is better to go several times to a Wh0re then marry a woman!!

So who said I want to be married????

;-)

nodge..nodge...wink...

In germany we have a saying:

A woman must be THREE things:
A wh0re in bed.
A lady on the street.
and a MAID in the house!!

Hans-Erich.

... in response to Re: Re: Money, posted by HansErich on Aug 13, 2003

Hans-  pretty sexist post.

Good thing there aren't too many women reading this board.

Zack

... in response to Why is it OK to give them money after yo..., posted by elcolombiano on Aug 13, 2003

Hola El colombiano!!

that was JUST my point!!!!!!!!!

Normal raised and women who stay away from agencies do NOT ask for money.

The ones that asked ME for money (like that barrancabermeja harlet) were just ho0kers!
Scammers?? yes?

greetings,

Hans-Erich

... in response to Cali Sharks, posted by CaliSurviver on Aug 12, 2003

If there is a big income disparity between you and the girl, it is commonly accepted that the male will help her out.  This should only come about, however, when it appears as though there is going to be some degree of permanency to the relationship.  Further, you should volunteer to do this.  I've had instances where girls have initially refused, but I insisted because I knew their situation.  If the girl begins to ask for dinero, however, consider looking for a new novia.  Think of it as tipping a waiter; it may be expected, but the waiter shouldn't ask for it.

... in response to This Is The Problem, posted by burbuja2 on Aug 12, 2003

That's iteresting.  I knew a guy that worked as a waiter while attending college.  If it looked like someone was going to walk away without tipping.  He would say, "Sir, I think you might have neglected the gratuity."  He would get the tip.  I guess it also helped that he was about 250 lbs. and played center on the football team.

... in response to Cali Sharks, posted by CaliSurviver on Aug 12, 2003

Here we go again ! ! !

... in response to Cali Sharks, posted by CaliSurviver on Aug 12, 2003

[This message has been edited by HansErich]

My dear Friend,

ANY woman asking for money after so short period is NOT true...even downright false.

They simply use their beauty...asa wapon for lonely man who want to find real love and affection.

They are CLEVER!!!

Do not let them get you!!

That is why I am oposed to Cali. Sure they are pretty....lovely...se_xy...whatever. I adore those latinas.
BUT I would never dream in marry one of them. NEVER!!

How many agencies there are in Cali???
15???20???25??? more???

It seems to me that some women in largher numbers are seeing this as a "game"......
Remember if your sweat honey from america is gone.....THE NEXT FLIGHT SURELY WILL ARRIVE WITHIN 1-2 WEEKS???!!FULL WITH US MEN THAT ARE LOADED WITY $$$$;-)

Trust me...I am not bashing your country...BUT the attitude of some men MUST change otherwise we will have more and more unlucky american men here on this list!!

That is why it is sooooo hard to find a decent women....who loves you for what your ARE and NOT for what you HAVE!!!

O DO YOU REALY THINK THAT CUTE,HOT,LOVELY 22 YO GIRLIE HAS THE HOTS FOR UNCLE BEN (JUST A NAME) WHO IS 43,BALD,FAT,THICK GLASSES AND A PERSDONALITY LIKE A HUSKY!!

GET REAL.

STOP LOOKING FOR EYE-CANDY AND START LOOKING FOR REAL FOOD!!!

Best regards,

Hans-Erich

... in response to Cali Sharks, posted by CaliSurviver on Aug 12, 2003

I have dated a few women in Cali and I have never had one that came right out and asked me for money unless we were in an intimate relationship.

After you start sleeping with them, you have to set some kind of a limit or before you know it they will be asking you for a house and a car.

I did have a couple of women say something like "If you are going to buy me something, buy me this" and point at something as we were walking through the mall. But, unless you are in an intimate relationship and want to continue, there is no need to give or buy anything for them.

If you don't start helping them out at some point they just won't think you are serious about them ( this has been my experiance anyway ).

There are always exceptions to the rule but I never dated a women from Cali that had a good job. So you have to realize that 90% of what these women have was given to them by someone else. After they start putting out, most (but not all) seem to have no problem asking for what ever. But, you have to set some kind of a limit.

... in response to Re: Cali Sharks, posted by Calipro on Aug 12, 2003


I feel that any lady that asks for money before or after the first or second date should be regarded with a lot of caution and most likely a con artist.  A woman like Starman's novia is the best kind, one who is trying to save your money in various ways and not accepting any even if she needs it.  If she likes you well enough and is serious about a relationship with you these good ladies might fear losing you if they give the impression they want your money.  The good women will not hint around, ask nor use sex as a means to achieve financial gain.  

What's worse and harder to detect is the woman who methodically plans a scheme to get money from you after a a few months of writing/communicating.  It's easy to spot the insincere who ask in the first few emails.  These women are frankly quite naive in thinking an approach like this will work but more than likely some over zealous virtual novio(s) have already sent her money.  A good rule of thumb is never send money to any woman asking for it if you haven't already met her and then only after a mutual commitment is made.

One Colombiana I was chatting with in Messenger for the first time recently asked me for plane fare to Bogotá for a visa interview.  She had no chance of getting one approved and then quickly became rude with me when she knew I was not going to help her out.  The second conversation I had with her, she needed tuition money for school.  Yep you guessed it, the third conversation she told me her Dad was handicapped and both were out of work.  This gal is beautiful by the way and has probably a number of novios sending her money.  In the tight financial situation she and her family are in, it is interesting she has enough dough for a home computer and internet access.  H e l l o!  

Gee, and I thought just the RW were the pros at this game.  Too bad there aren’t web sites devoted to these unscrupulous Latinas like there are to the RW.  It has not discouraged me in my search for a special Latina though, but is a reminder that they aren't all sweet.

... in response to Re: Re: Cali Sharks, posted by pablo on Aug 12, 2003

Hola amigo Pablo.

como estas??
It is true the RW are the BEST in scamming.

If you read some websites (there are a zillion about this) you will fall down from your chair if you read it how STUPID men are in sending money!!!

Rule # 1:
Never send money.

Rule #2+
Never ever send money.\

Send a ticket..prepaid....gifts...but do NOT send money!!

And certainly not if you never saw the girl.

Yeah I know they get RUDE when they do not get the money??

Or they make like this: OOOOO but I thought you and me were special??? Erres mi novio??

YEAH RIGHT!!

btw not only Calenas will do this. I also saw girls from barrancabermeja,Bucaramanja,Bogota and Cartagena ask for financial "aid"....

saludos desde allemania.

Hans-erich

... in response to Re: Cali Sharks, posted by Calipro on Aug 12, 2003

Dear Calipro.

you wrote:

I have dated a few women in Cali and I have never had one that came right out and asked me for money unless we were in an intimate relationship.

***
NO,they seldomly ask STRAIGHT for money...but there are shortcuts!!!;-)
So that means aftyer the second night you F....d them they can ask for ANYTHING????

I have a word for such a girl...and you know what it is??

GOLDDIGGER!!!!

If you are Hor.ny....why don;t you just go to a nudy bar....or a wh0re-house???

Why date some women from a "agency"...????

my 2 € cents.

Hans-Erich.

... in response to Cali Sharks, posted by CaliSurviver on Aug 12, 2003

Did you meet them on your own? If so, where, how?
Were they from an agency? Did a friend or relative introduce you?

There are some like what you described but many that are not. I would like to think a girl from an agency wouldn't be quite so crass but you never know.

... in response to What were the circumstance that you met ..., posted by Freddie on Aug 12, 2003

I met all of the girls from an agency.  The worst one and I must say the sexiest was this Sandra.

... in response to Cali Sharks, posted by CaliSurviver on Aug 12, 2003

this seems like par for the course
most of these girls (if working) earn about $100 a month
did you give her the money??
how did you remain at the end???

... in response to Re: Cali Sharks, posted by donald on Aug 12, 2003

NO I DID NOT GIVE HER THE MONEY.  Had a nice dinner went for a drink and went back to hotel.  Why give a woman money for help with bills when I do not know her.