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Hello

I’ve been a lurker for some time, but I have a question I would like to get answered by some of the veterans here.

If you meet a girl through one of these agencies, and go down there, how much intimacy
can you expect? Do people get married without first having any sexual contact? I don’t mean to sound distasteful but I hear many people meet Latinas and get married first or second trip. If I went, I too am looking for a potential mate, but I want to know if I were to take a chance and get married, I would at least know what I can expect from a relationship, sexual wise.

Please don’t misinterpret me. I don’t want to exploit anyone or go down there just for a good time alone. But how do you address the subject of sex. I hear the culture is very religious... I guess what I am asking is that if the no sex before marriage rule really exits is SA.

And as far as these agencies go, the ones with the bed and breakfast. If I were to be introduced to a girl I really liked, I hear many places don’t allow women into the “sleeping area” were the men are. Is this true?

Also do any of you guys have personal webpages about South America or a place with trip reports? Thanks

Jeff

... in response to Horny Dawg Question, posted by wealthquest on Aug 6, 2003

In my travels there was Lupita who was a withdrawn person at first but to my surprise sought the delectables with me. I was weak and succumbed. It was human nature pulling us away and winning against restraint. She felt guilty. It was not in her wishes to repeat but we sucumbed again and again. I never saw her after that trip. I learned she had an unfortunate event that took her away from this world. I'll always remember her. "Lupita Lupita.. so bonita."

... in response to Horny Dawg Question, posted by wealthquest on Aug 6, 2003

The other posters who've replied have it correct about Latinas sexuality. I would just add the following.

If you go to an agency that accepts drop-in male clients and then pick a woman out who'you've never spoken too then I imagine, because i've never been in that situ., that the first moments must be awkward, but just like a blind date you move on and if there's been no kissing after the 2nd or 3rd date then you too must move on again. Afterall, in that situation, you choose the girl because you saw she was attractive - she must know that too.

On the other hand, if you join an agency that has email translation set up you could even broach the subject before you arrive in her country. Ask her how many boyfriends she had ( if she says none then she's lying or maybe you need to do a quick re-assess if this is what you want). next email, when was the first kiss etc. Another couple of emails, what she looks for in a relationship. If sex is important? How important? Why so? And you can go on from there - could even ask how long until she sleeps with a guy after she meets him. She'll probably say it depends. Whish is probably very true - all is CHEMISTRY.

My point is that you could find out alot with emails before you even get to the country. Hells bells! You might get her so fired up with your emails that she's ready to jump on you the moment you step off the plane.

... in response to Horny Dawg Question, posted by wealthquest on Aug 6, 2003

Hallo Jeff,

I can see you are very new to latino culture in south-America my friend!!

To tell you the truth I am sure that MOST girls at 15,16 had sex in SA. For sure the last 10 years.

Sure NOT on your first meeting...but on the third meeting you can talk about sex with her.(mind you I speak spanish!!)
I mean NOT vulgarities...or filty words..NOOOO.
But you can talk with her in a civile manner.
I am sure most latinas will understand OR even bring the subject up themselves.

The latinos have a great non-verbal language.....you shoud LEARN IT Jeff!!!;-)

I sure would not marry any girl that said to me : "I do not want sex before marriage"...!!

That concept is from 50 or more years ago...

Mind you in SA are many UNMARRIED (some even very young!!) single mothers.
How do you think they get the child???

Even in Peru (a rather conservative country in SA) I had sex on my second date with a peruana. WE liked eachother....and then sex. Big deal. No problema. We were no little kids you know.
She was NOT a prostitute....not a show-girl. Just a administratory asssistent in a large company.
I ahve seen this many many times.

People think very different about sex in SA.

I know in USA some people preach hell and doom about sex...telling you that it is bad. It is NOT my friend.
It is BAD to have UNPROTECTED sex...and to make a child and then run away!!! That is BAD!!

regards,

Hansd-Erich.

... in response to Horny Dawg Question, posted by wealthquest on Aug 6, 2003

Jeff,
The more conservative girls are not going to have sex with you right away.There are girls who will but be carefull of them.
But - - my opinion is you should date long enough to get to where sex is part off the relatinship.Otherwise you are gambling on something very important to your happiness.
Yes,most agencies won't let the girls in you room,which I think is a little juvenile and inviting you to leave for a hotel.Some concearn about the reputation of the girls,but we are adults here.If one girl goes for it it doesn't mean they all are.
Ricardo at All Colombian Girls is an exception.I guess its hard to tell you you can't have a girl in your room when he has one in his.
Now quick sex is very available,from the pros to what I will call semi pros that you might find at an agency.
When I went the agency owner said is I was going out to the Bordellos not to let the girls who worked at the agency know or they will not try to help you after that.I have friends that have shopped along time and have availed themselves of these services also.I mean come on,we are adult males.How long do you want to do without sex when it is so avaiable?

Pete

... in response to Re: Horny Dawg Question, posted by Pete E on Aug 6, 2003

Yes , I agree completely. But I think before the subject of marriage comes up, I think knowing everything I can about my partner is important.

Somewhat embarrassing for me, when I had my first sexual experience, I was dating an absolute knock out. She was stunningly gorgeous. My friends were very jealous. But she was very reluctant to have sex with me. But we both were attracted to one another, and finally, just once, after many months of begging and pleading, we did the deed. But something was not right. Not going to be graphic here, but something just didn’t fit.

I didn’t have sex for several years after that. I thought something was wrong with me. I mean, here was this incredibly beautiful women, and I just didn’t like have sex with her, after months of wanting to.

The next experience was totally different. It was what I originally expected the procedure to be like. And then it dawned on me thinking back that my first girlfriend had told me briefly that she had an abortion.

So having this in my head, if I ever do decide to get married, I want to know what I’m getting into (no pun intended)

... in response to Horny Dawg Question, posted by wealthquest on Aug 6, 2003

Jeff

Yours is a valid question.

When I went to Bogota in 1999 I met a beautiful young girl through an agency and on the first date she told me she would marry me but that she would not have sex with me before marriage. I didn't ask, she just volunteered this information. There were plenty of what we would call "red flags" in that announcement, but I married her anyway.

Back to her invitation, at first I said "Thanks but no thanks". I felt that a woman who would make that deal wasn't really interested in me, only in the visa. I was right. Then she called me back a month later and said she was ready to "consumate" the deal. I went back to Bogota, spent some time with her, filed for the K1 visa, yada, yada, yada. It was an exciting 2 years, but in the end, she only married me for the visa. She was 20 years younger. Se la vi. I would have rather spent those 2 years with her than alone.

Anyway, forget the pious, Catholic girl image. There are some of those in Latin America, but in the larger cities most women have the same range of morals more or less as women here in the US. Some are rather timid and conservative, most are "ready to rumba".

If you meet a girl in an agency in Colombia and she's not showing you much physical affection, SHE'S NOT ATTRACTED TO YOU (Rocket Science 101). Look for another woman.

If you make a trip I hope you will take a lot of pictures of the women and post them here. Be sure to blot out your face so that everybody can criticize you royally.

Steve

... in response to Horny Dawg Answer, posted by DallasSteve2 on Aug 6, 2003

Steve

But don’t you feel differently now ? All the money you spent and emotional grief, and Im sorry, the girl couldn’t even give you any pleasure ? If that’s too personal, I understand. But I can find someone like that in the US who will marry me, take half my assets, and leave me for some other “stud”.

And I don’t know, Ive been looking at a lot of these agencies websites. All tell you that Latinas prefer older guys. Well I just a trial membership to Amigos.com , and did a search for Columbia. I would like a lady in her early 20s. And 90% say Im too old (I just turned 33!)

Jeff

... in response to Re: Horny Dawg Answer, posted by wealthquest on Aug 6, 2003

Jeff

You wrote: "the girl couldn’t even give you any pleasure"

Correction: She gave me lot's of pleasure.

Maybe you didn't catch the whole story. I went back to Bogota. We did the dead. More than once. Then she came here and lived with me for 2 years. There was plenty of action during those 2 years. That little girl taught this old dog a lot of new tricks.

My main regret was that I gave her too much money. She probably would've stayed for a lot less. It pains me to admit it, but maybe someone else will learn from my lesson. I thought she loved me. I was on cloud 9. I got something for my cash. What did Anna Nicole Smith's sugar daddy get? A peck on the check? And Anna's a cow. I wouldn't do her if I was single.

Reminds me of a quote I saw by Gene Simmons (Kiss' bass player) the other day:

"If you want to date a girl buy her a house. It's much cheaper than getting married and she'll be happy right away."

Steve

... in response to Re: Horny Dawg Answer, posted by wealthquest on Aug 6, 2003

Dear Jeff,

In one of my eaerly posting I said that latinas UNDER 25 (some even at 30!!) are still GIRLS.
You can NOT take tyhem serious. Do NOT do this...or you will be in a pool of misery.

And latina girls LIKE sex....trust me on this one.
If it is nice for me....why should it be a horror for a girl to have sex.
(No I am NOT that ugly..)

Thay also like it.

Let's not fool eachother.

Sex is very important.
If any girl is giving me the "OOO i am so conservative and i do not sex before marriage thing" she is HISTORY!!

Hans-Erich.

... in response to Who let the dawgs in? , wroof wroof wroo..., posted by wealthquest on Aug 6, 2003

In your first post you were asking about "sex before marriage" and not exploiting the gals, but now we're beginning to see where your true intentions lie. It's sounding more like a sex vacation now.

If you want to get layed, I don't really care but I think it's a big mistake to use a marriage agency for these purposes. The women aren't stupid and they begin to figure out who the players are. If too many of the guys are players, the unintended consequence will be that the good gals will begin quiting the agency or not joining at all. There's already a big stigma with agencies among Colombian famililies and guys who exploit agencies for their short term needs only help add to it.

I just as soon you stayed home......

... in response to Re: Who let the dawgs in? , wroof wroof ..., posted by Cali James on Aug 6, 2003

No I wouldn’t go anywhere for a sex vacation. The ultimate goal would be marriage. I would in fact just like to avoid the parties.

But by the same token, for the amount of money these agencies charge, the cost going down there, and my limited free time, yeah I do want to enjoy myself. My style is not to hurt anyone and I’m not really a player. But shoot, if I’m only able to get down their once or twice every couple of years, every moment has to count. And like Hans says, not everyone is uptight about sex. In fact, I don’t want to hear the word marriage until I’m convinced what kind of relationship I’m getting into and more importantly know that any physical attraction would be shared by my potential partner.

What I don’t understand is these agencies are here to “make a buck”. You get a girl who looks like Jennifer Lopez and wears very seductive clothing, what your supposed to take her out, buy her dinner, meet her parents, then shake her hand, maybe kiss her on the cheek and say goodnight, and the next day work on getting her a visa ? That doesn’t sound right. An owner going to introduce you to lots of ladies in a short time that are drop dead beautiful and God forbid you hit it off, and after spending thousands of bucks, you can’t even go to your own room with her ?? That’s like going hundreds of miles to find a friend. I’m not looking for “friends”. If I spend my time and money, I want a lover. Especially if I’m the one sticking my neck out assuming the most risk. Sure I want the girl to have a friendship with me. But the whole attraction with the concept of finding a foreign spouse would be to speed up the process greatly. I could make a lot of friends in the US, spend lots of time and money, but I want to bypass on that, find someone I’m attracted to and feels the same about me.

And feel free to judge me. You aint gonna stop me. I sure a lot of guys on here feel the same way I do. I’m not going down to hurt anyone, but for the money I’m paying, I’m gonna have good time finding out if this is something for me. That you can take to the bank.

... in response to Re: Re: Who let the dawgs in? , wroof wr..., posted by wealthquest on Aug 7, 2003

I don't really know what your intentions are, so no real judgement here. However I've spent a lot of time in Cali and have seen guys give lip service to marriage but in the end just use the agencies as their own personal pimping service.

I think the real test is how sincere a guy is regarding his intentions from the get go. I think if you tell your dates the truth, i.e. "I'm down here to check out the whole thing, I'm not sure it's for me but since I'm paying a lot of money to get here, I'm kind of hoping to get lucky too" then you shouldn't have any problems. (-:

... in response to Re: Who let the dawgs in? , wroof wroof ..., posted by Cali James on Aug 6, 2003

Here we go about exploiting the gals at the agencies again.
Where are the guys with the green card shark stories when you need them?? You know the guys crying about being exploited my the women of the agencies.

Do you really think most of the women in Cali aren't interested in sex before marriage?

Of course guys want to have sex if they don't there is some kind of problem. Most caleñas I have met are quite comfortable with the fact guys desire them. If they weren't they would probably dress a little more conservatively and some do.

The point I am trying to make here is if two people want to have sex before marriage: What is the problem? As long as you aren't a jerk about the whole thing.

Remember it takes two to tango!

... in response to Re: Re: Who let the dawgs in? , wroof wr..., posted by Calipro on Aug 6, 2003

I realize that most people have sex before marriage, this is a given. My point was something that was perhaps lost on you. I was making a distinction between men and women who use the marriage agency primarily for it's intended purpose, i.e. finding a spouse and those who use the agency primarily for play or for one night stands.

Both kind of people exist in the agencies but there's always been more of the former than the latter. If the balance begins to shift to the players, the matrimony part of the business will decline and the middle class Calenas will begin to quit or not join at all.

I don't really care what people do in private however I think it's mistake to turn the agencies into a sort of Club Med experience.....

... in response to Who let the dawgs in? , wroof wroof wro..., posted by Cali James on Aug 6, 2003

[This message has been edited by Calipro]

I don't know how many guys join marriage agencies looking for one night stands but I'm sure they would be very disappointed if they did.

GOD ONLY KNOWS there aren't any women in the marriage agencies that would jump in the sack on the first date:)

"My point was something that was perhaps lost on you." If players are not to get their way and one night stands are not to happen, then it is pretty much up to the women to say "no". Guys can not really be trusted in this matter. On ocassion when a young attractive women that I was with wanted to have sex early on in a relationship and I knew that it had the potencial to ruin the relationship in the long run. I couldn't stop myself. Just call me weak if you want. If she is a young beautiful women and she is willing. I am able.

I can't help it!!!!

... in response to Re: Who let the dawgs in? , wroof wroof..., posted by Calipro on Aug 6, 2003

Calipro.

I am with you..Iunderstand you...

Let there be no judgement on you.

ANY man that is a MAN...well would haver sex with .... a girl/woman when she is nice,pretty,lovely.

AND WHY NOT?

SEX is NOT bad......sex is good and I like it a lot.

SEX is served by TWO!!!
(even better by three,....but that is another story..lol)

SEX CAN be dangerous for a man when he lets his brains RULE by sex of a woman...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AFter sex always take a COLD shower.....!!!!!!;-)

period.

Hans-Erich.

... in response to Re: Who let the dawgs in? , wroof wroof..., posted by Calipro on Aug 6, 2003

Calipro.

I am with you..Iunderstand you...

Let there be no judgement on you.

ANY man that is a MAN...well would haver sex with .... a girl/woman when she is nice,pretty,lovely.

AND WHY NOT?

SEX is NOT bad......sex is good and I like it a lot.

SEX is served by TWO!!!
(even better by three,....but that is another story..lol)

SEX CAN be dangerous for a man when he lets his brains RULE by sex of a woman...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AFter sex always take a COLD shower.....!!!!!!;-)

period.

Hans-Erich.

... in response to Re: Re: Who let the dawgs in? , wroof w..., posted by Cali James on Aug 6, 2003

Cali James.

ALL THOUGH I was never in Cali...even NEVER IN Colombia...I can ASSURE you this happens in EVERY SA COUNTRY!!!!!!
I have seen Brasilian girls come on to me.....pretty girls 18...19 year old!!
They were NO prosti....no show girls...no sir. Just lonely girls that were longing for a mens company!!

HOW DIFFRENT LATINAS ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!:-)

In general woman are quickly availeble for sex.

And what is bad about that?????????

NOTHING.

Just ware a condom....and treat your woman with respect.

I will find out witin 3 months!!

I will write extended reports.

Hans-Erich.

... in response to Re: Re: Who let the dawgs in? , wroof wr..., posted by Calipro on Aug 6, 2003

Bravo Calipro!!

Well said!

I too wonder wer are the stories that colombian woman ask money....favors and stuff like that after 2 dates??

Next what we get is a discussion to "support" het family!!!

jajajajaj;-)

Hans-Erich

... in response to Who let the dawgs in? , wroof wroof wroo..., posted by wealthquest on Aug 6, 2003

Dear jeff,
You are SOOO Right!!

Having sex BEFORE entering such an agnecy is a VERY wise and good thing to do....
I had more sex in BA and Brasil in one week then here in germany in one Year!! (no joke)

beacuse if you do NOT do this your hormons MIGHT take over your brains.
And who knows what might happen when THAT happens!!

Woof ..woof??? Waf Waf..

Can german Shepards also join up??
Had a Rottweiler too.....magnificent dog. Too bad he died 3 years ago:-(

Hans-Erich.

... in response to Re: Who let the dawgs in? , wroof wroof ..., posted by HansErich on Aug 6, 2003

Well, having lived in Germany for 7 1/2 years myself, one of the things I most admire about your culture is Germans dont have the hangups reguarding sex like Americans do.

It seems so natural and free in Germany. In that reguard, I wish we would be more like the Germans. The bad thing is American guys aren't as popular with German ladies as they used to be. I got tired of being an "auslander"

But I still love Germany, and as a matter of fact, will be visiting again at the end of this month on business (cant wait!!)

Jeff

... in response to Re: Re: Who let the dawgs in? , wroof wr..., posted by wealthquest on Aug 7, 2003

Yes my friends...it is true!
Most German (younger) girls traded in the americans for Turkisch,,,,Marrocans or other men from Islamic countries.

And what do we see???

Yes....many German women beat up....ending up like sex-slaves for these Islamic men!!

:-(

Many also end up alone (with childs).....seems that Islamic men (here in the west) like to ..... our women but can NOT handle the responsebility of getting a baby!!

That makes me very sad.

Not all things are good about Germans......far from it.

We are seen as loud,demanding,yelling superiour nazis.

In fact as you have high standards everything else will be "low|" quality.

In many SA countries when in a hotel,disco or restaurant their toilets are FILTHY....disgusting....
That would be NEVER seen in germany.
Also that little kids run arround at 22.00 at night on the street......!! Very strange for Germans.
Also the punctualty of latinos...OO well....make an appointment at 12.00...and they show up 45 min late...or not at all!!

Offcourse we are not all "Ugly Germans".

I am glad my people have a liberal view on sex. Allthough here also some christian extremists try to forbid us those plaesures too!!

If any latina say to me she wants to wait with sex (after knowing her for 1-2 weeks) I would just laugh in her face and tell her to GET LOST!!
There is MUCH MORE from were she came from!

It is just a game of the latinas...to let you men THINK she is a good woman.
But in fact THEY are very cunning and USE sex as a wapon!!
But what do I say.....our German women also do that some times.

I see no problem IF two people like eachother...why not have sex????

WHY NOT???

We are no kids you know.

Regards,

Hans-Erich.

... in response to Horny Dawg Question, posted by wealthquest on Aug 6, 2003

Colombianas, for example are religious - but they seem to pick and choose which doctrines to follow. Cali is all about being sexy - calenas are proud of that. So no, the sex before marriage thing is not a big deal down there. Of course, I'm sure exceptions exist. If you stay at an B&B agency, don't worry about testing the waters - there are plenty of "motels" available with hourly rates (much more prevalent down there than in the US - probably due to many of the girls & guys living at home with their families).

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