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My novia left last week after visiting me on a tourist visa. She stayed 38 days. She does not want to come back claiming she needs a car and lots of money. She has no intrest in working in the US if we got married. She wants a maid also. She did not want to learn English here either. She just wanted to go to the mall every day to shop for clothes. When I asked her why she needed lots of money to live here she gave me the following example. That if she has a child her figure will go and she will need massages that are very expensive here. She is devorced and 37 years old.

I guess I learned an expensive and heart breaking experience. Don't date women that have not worked in years and everything they have ever owned in their life was given to them by someone else. She is a spoiled only child. It is common in the higher social classes for the women to be well educated but have no intentions of ever working. They think that because they are pretty a man will give them everything they need. Their only role in life is to look pretty and provide love for the husband. They have no other hobbies or intrests. Many of these women who are married are forbiden by there husbands to work. In this regard Colombia is a very backward country not that much different than Afghanistan.

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

Thank you all for your help and support. Its made a big difference.

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

Hey Buddy,

Sorry to hear it didn't work out; although it's no consolation, at least you won't have to wonder the what ifs.  As I said when we spoke at Chipi, there are really good women in Colombia, but it deoes take alot of legwork and sifting through the beautiful and shallow to find them.  Keep your chin up and keep looking and listening to your cousin, your a great guy and you'll find a great gal. An update on my situation, fortunately for me things came together with my wife.  I'm happier than I've ever been in my personal life, but it definitely was a rough year getting to this point.  Take Care & stay in touch.

... in response to Re: You guys were right I did not listen, posted by thundernco on May 5, 2003

That's good news Thundernco glad to hear it.

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

Sorry to hear it amigo. There seemed to be so much "quimica" between you two when we all met at La Tertulia. But like a friend of mine here says there's more girls in Colombia than churches.

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

I just found this site a couple days ago and will be stopping in from time to time.

Let me give you some background. I am 49 and am a computer programmer. I am also retired from the USAF Reserve. I make an OK income but nothing outstanding. I live in Atlanta. I am short, wear glasses and probably need to drop at least 15 pounds.

I'll make a long story short. In 1999 I read about the intro services in Cali on another site. I joined one and flew to Cali within a week over the 4th of July holiday.

On my 2nd night there I met a young lady in a disco. I was there with a group from the intro service. She had been a member previously and had been invited out by the office manager to meet the Americans who were in town. She was very attractive, 28, with long hair and a great body. She was so attractive I would probably never have approached her. Fortunately she asked me to dance.

We hit it off over the weekend. I came home, got on the internet and started working on a K-1 visa. I sent the paperwork to her to start working on things from her end. Of course we talked at least once and sometimes twice a week. I was a little leery and tried to get her to reveal if she had any ulterior motives to marrying me and coming to the U.S. I could find none.

I returned to Cali and met her family over Labor Day. Her father is a very nice guy. She has 3 sisters, one married with a small daughter, one divorced with a son and is a school teacher and one who was still in college at the time. Her father makes about $2000 US a year. They all live in the same small house and barely make it from week to week. Her mother was ill when I first met everyone and as since passed away.

I got an approval for the K-1 just before returning to Cali over Thanksgiving. She went to the US Embassy in Bogota for her medical exam and visa and arrive in the US in February, 2000. In April of that year we were married in Las Vegas.

We have been married 3 years and have had no major problems. She got her US Resident card (Green Card) without any problems.

She is a college graduate and is currently a Dept. Mgr at Wal-Mart.

She is loving, sexy, beautiful, devoted, honest. In short, everything most American guy would dream of having as a wife. We help her family but more at my insistance than hers. We have raised their standard of living by providing a washing machine (their first), new TV, VCR, mattresses and kitchen renovations. We also help with the bank note on the house and money for food and special occasions. My wife's annual salary is more than twice all of her family combined (when they get paid).

After 2 previous marriages to American women I am truly blessed to have met this woman.

All I can say is they are out there. I know I was very lucky. In fact if someone told me this story (either before they were married or now) I would question both the girl's motivation and the guy's sanity. But it is all true. In fact she has 3 other friends who have been married to guys in the US longer than us and all are doing fine.

Yes, there are the money-grubbing 'gasolineras' everywhere but if you seek you can find what you desire.

I will post some other things later like how to dress and some real life experiences she has told me about the intro service and meeting 'gringos'.
I will also post information on getting in and out of Cali.

If there are any specific questions I can help with let me know.
Good luck.

... in response to I guess I was just lucky., posted by Big Wally on May 5, 2003

Gooood successful story, we are both 49. I got some questions pls email me. thanks

... in response to I guess I was just lucky., posted by Big Wally on May 5, 2003

Congrats Big Wally!  Times can certainly get tough with these types of relationships and as with all things Colombian people hear more about the bad than the good.  Thanks for sharing your "success" story; all the best to you and your family!

... in response to I guess I was just lucky., posted by Big Wally on May 5, 2003

Great story with happy ending, thanks for the post. What's a "gasolinera"? Fills up and drives off or something? Will be fun to hear the "chismes" about the agency experience.

... in response to Re: I guess I was just lucky., posted by Cali vet on May 5, 2003

A 'Gasolinera' is a women who is only interested in getting what she can from a guy. I'm not sure what the origin of the term is but if you ask someone from Cali they'll know what you mean.

I had to use a translator to get the English word for 'chismes' which was gadgets. I guess you're asking how the intro service (Latin Connection) worked.

First let me say Latin Connections is out of business. Someone on this board had asked about Ed Beckwith. He got tired of all the competition and felt he couldn't make any money so he got out of the business. I assume he is still living in Palm Beach, Fl with his Cali wife and daughter who should be about 6 by now.

He did make a transistion of sorts of his business into another web site called
http://www.aspiring-latin-models-inc.com/
with a former customer of Latin Connections.

As for my dealing with the intro service I really didn't have that much contact with them.

I first read about another guy's experience with Latin Connections and the ladies he had met. I exchanged a couple emails with him and he affirmed that it was all real.

I joined Latin Connections on the internet after talking to Ed on the phone. That was on a Monday and by Thursday I was in Cali. I was only going to be there until early Monday morning.

My intentions were to mainly see how things worked and if it was legit I would return. They had invited about a dozen ladies to meet me and the 8 othe guys who had come down that night. As things wound down that night I asked three of ladies if they wanted to go dancing. One had a car and two of them spoke some English.
The one who didn't speak English took an interest in me and asked me if we could go out the next night. I said OK even though I was only moderately interested in her.

The next day (Friday) I went to the office and started going through the notebooks of eligible ladies. I found two I wanted to meet and told one of the office girls who they were and would she try to arrange introductions for me, one on Saturday and one on Sunday.

That night I took my date to dinner and we then met up with the rest of the group at a disco. About midnight my date was fading out, from the wine I assumed, and her friend said we and she and her date were leaving. We only went about 1/2 mile and we pulled over. My date started to get out and I asked the driver where she was going. She replied, "She's going to take a taxi home and I'm taking you and Robert back to your hotel."

Well since it was only midnight on a Friday and things were just getting started and I was only going to be in town for two more days it took me about 10 seconds to decide to get a taxi back to the disco.

I walked in, sat down at the table where all the American guys and Cali girls from the agency were sitting and within 2 seconds a beauty across the table from me jumped up and said, "You came back, would you like to dance with me?"

Now I may be slow but I'm not stupid. I said yes and needless to say the rest is history.

Later that night when we dropped Robert off at the Latin Connection's office (he was staying in one of their rooms) I went to the office and took my request sheet. I found out the next day that of the two girls I wanted to meet one was on vacation and they couldn't reach the other one.

As it worked out I never needed to meet anyone else.

My new found love met me there the next evening and we went to dinner and met up with the crowd at the disco again.

The next day was the 4th of July. We met at my hotel and went to the zoo. We then ended up at the Latin Connection's office for the end of a cook-out. We then went to my hotel to spend some time together. I put her in a taxi at midnight and I went to bed only to rise at 5AM for my flight back to the USA.

The only other time I was in the Latin Connection's office was during my Labor Day visit when we dropped in just to say hello to the office manager who my future wife had know for a couple years.

So although my experience with the agency was brief I can say they were legit, I saw numerous photos and girls come and go and a professional photographer taking their photos for the notebooks.

I don't know if some of the claims of 'hundreds of girls' at the parties but my wife said she went to one once at the InterContinental Hotel in Cali and she said there really were a few hundred there all dressed up and all looking great.

They did have a small beauty contest for about a dozen of us on Saturday afternoon. There were about 20 girls in the contest and about another 20 watching. I found one I really would have liked to meet but it was ending about the time I had to rush back to the hotel to get ready for my date with my new love so I never followed through with talking to her.

I couldn't figure out how to post any photos here but anyone who sends me an email will get some:
wally3333@earthlink.net

... in response to I guess I was just lucky., posted by Big Wally on May 5, 2003

It's great to hear a postive story like yours. I pray I have the same results.

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

Sorry to hear about experience, but most important lessons are learned the hard way.

Whenever I hear the stories of relationships gone bad on this forum, I wonder if the expectations of the man was unrealistic.  Let’s face it, what is the reason guys go to Colombia, to find someone they couldn’t find in the USA.  

From the woman’s point of view, why is she willing to leave her home, family, and all her lifelong friend, to live with an older guy and do housework, or something more romantic say love?  Not likely!  She wants something thing she can’t find in Colombia, whatever that is. It depends on the woman.  Your lady wanted lots of stuff and someone else to do the housework. I can’t blame her for trying.   On the other hand, I think a lot of the Colombian women have unrealistic expectations of finding a rich guy in an MOB agency.  But let’s face it, if you were rich you wouldn’t need to go south, you have plenty of American woman chasing you.  

I have dated lots of Latin women especially here in Chile where I live, and the majority are strongly materialistic in nature looking for a better life than they could have with your typical taxi driver. I was at my girlfriend's apartment she shared with a couple of other girls, and she said to me, I want more than this.  Why else would they date an older gringo??  Or maybe it is my wonderful personality and great sense of humor, yeah right!  I have lived here for about a year and half, and I have yet to find a woman that I would be willing to say “I do” with again.  But, I have had a great time looking.  

Remember that old saying, “Woman are Sex Objects and Men are Success Objects” that line goes double in Latin America.

Better luck next time,
mike

... in response to Re: You guys were right I did not listen, posted by denvermike on May 5, 2003

Well spoken.  If the woman is young (under 35), attractive, without children she is definately looking for a man with a good combination of: prestige, youth, and money.  It dosen't really matter where the woman is from.  I always hear of the "green card sharks".  Correct me if I am wrong but it seems the "sharks" usually have children, or unatractive, or over 35 (sometimes a combination).

... in response to Re: Re: You guys were right I did not li..., posted by HeyNow on May 6, 2003

I can speak for my wife and 3 of her friends (all under 29 when they married) and all are in successful marriages and none of these guys have "prestige, youth or money".

None of the girls were really that anxious to leave Colomiba. They just went where their hearts led them.

... in response to HeyNow, I believe those are generalizati..., posted by Big Wally on May 6, 2003

Did they have children?

... in response to Re: HeyNow, I believe those are generali..., posted by HeyNow on May 7, 2003

She was a nurse and her daughter was about 11 at the time.

One of the other couples just had their first child a few months ago. Two of the couples (including us) don't have any plans for children. One girl is divorced (she was pretty wild and I think still is) and one got pregnant and married a Colombian. I think they are still together.

Typical? I can't say, but I know there are successes out there. It not that different from finding a woman anywhere, you have to get to know them and be aware of the chances you're taking.

I gave my future wife many opportunities to change her story and I figured either this woman is very sincere or really has her story together. As I have found out over the past 3 1/2 years she is exactly as she projected herself to be.

That is as an honest, loving, caring, hard-working woman. She is very devoted to her family, believes in God but is not a regular church goer ("God is in my heart"). She loves my Mom as her own who she lost only 3 months after coming to the US.

She is very concerned about her appearance but not fanatical or a money waster. She is a good voice of conscience for me or I would be off to Las Vegas every couple months.

Oh, sure, we have our differences but they never last. Most are over mis-communication or her frustration over language difficulties. Nothing serious. She spoke fair English when I met her and does pretty well now. She still makes some common mistakes like mixing up he/she and miss pronoucing words which causes me to not know what she's talking about. That leads to frustration on her part. She did take some expensive classes when she got here then continued with some free classes paid for by the county. Everything helps.

I will be the first to admit my situation is probably one in 1,000 but I'm no one special and offer no more than most guys so I know it can happen.

... in response to Re: You guys were right I did not listen, posted by denvermike on May 5, 2003

the foreign-born women that I have met here in the NY/NJ metro area (whether they are latinas or FSU women) have been even MORE materialistic than most AW I know.  Perhaps this is due to unrealistic expectations of American life and how "easy" we have it here.  (I call it the "Pretty Woman" complex - women who expect to have their new husbands give them the credit cards so they can shop all day, and then be wined, dined and danced every evening - thank Hollywood for this.)  Some women will adapt to a more down-to-earth mindset, but it seems many do not.

No doubt that many foreign-born women are seeking an upwardly mobile lifestyle than what most of us (except the wealthiest) can afford to provide them.  Some of these women will never be satisfied.  Many of these women have never lived in a culture where people go to work on a daily basis, and save and sacrifice today for better things tomorrow.

... in response to Sad to say, but..., posted by Jersey Mike on May 5, 2003

I contest one point. Most Colombians do go to work every day. It's just the "save and sacrifice" part they're not hip to. So many of my friends with long term experience in Colombia have said offer a Colombian $1.000 today or $5.000 at the end of the week and he/she will take the $1.000. That's a broad generalization of course. My wife's cousins are an exception. They saved and paid eighty percent cash for the 1999 car they bought.

... in response to Re: Sad to say, but..., posted by Cali vet on May 5, 2003

I agree that latins have a work ethic.  I was thinking more of FSU natives when I made that generalization.  None of my FSU ex-wife's friends, male or female, seemed to have any ability to find or hold steady employment (with the exception of a few female friends who are exotic dancers in NYC).  The FSU men all seem to be trying to find a quick score, and some are probably engaged in certain types of unsavory activities (which I would rather remain ignorant about!)

I've have observed that many foreign-born ladies seem to be willing to give boyfriends or husbands from their home countries more of a pass when it comes to providing material comforts, and willingly contribute to making ends meet.  Their expectations of AM and the life that we can provide them sometimes seem out of touch with the reality of daily life.  I am envious of those of you who have met women who are willing to share to some extent in the financial responsibilities of married life.

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

I would not consider this a failure. Be thankful that you found this out before you decided to marry her. Believe me..it could have been a much more expensive experience.

... in response to Re: You guys were right I did not listen, posted by pirate on May 5, 2003

I am very lucky I did not marry her. I would have cost me many time more.

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

Let her go and forget about her. There are plenty of available latin women.
I would avoid Colombia. I will say that Colombia has the best looking women of any latin american country but the majority in the MOB are looking for a meal ticket out of the country. That is a generalization, but the women of Colombia much more than any other latin american country.
And if you are going to look in Colombia, Medellin has the best looking women in the country...and minimal MOB agencies to corrupt them. If you like the more exotic look, head to Cartagena.
With that said...I would look at other countries. There are great looking, down to earth, dynamic latin women from Mexico to Argentina. Don't limit yourself to Colombia. Other hot spots for latinas, known or unknown, include Santa Cruz Bolivia and Guayaquil Ecuador. These two cities have the same percentages for dynamite latinas as Cali Colombia. Lima Peru's sheer number of available latinas far outnumbers Cali's numbers.

... in response to Re: You guys were right I did not listen, posted by eddiemd on May 4, 2003

Eddie

You wrote: "I will say that Colombia has the best looking women of any latin american country."

Then you wrote: "Santa Cruz Bolivia and Guayaquil Ecuador. These two cities have the same percentages for dynamite latinas as Cali Colombia."

What does "the same percentages for dynamite latinas" mean in that context?  

I still say the more developed (economically) Latin American countries have the better looking women on average.  Bolivia, Ecuador, and Peru are less-developed, economically, along with some others like Honduras and Guatemala.

I've seen a large enough sample of women in Bolivia, Ecuador, and Peru to conclude that their look, in general, is much more "indigenous" than in Colombia.  That is to say, less modern, more rural Indian in appearance.  There's nothing wrong with that if that's what the man wants.

Steve

... in response to Dynamite latinas?, posted by DallasSteve2 on May 5, 2003

[This message has been edited by eddiemd]

Dude, I know what I wrote...and I stand by it from experience.

There are european appearing available latinas in all the south american countries.
To each their own.

... in response to Re: Dynamite latinas?, posted by eddiemd on May 5, 2003

Dude, I was trying to get a clarification, because you may know what you wrote, but I don't.  

Dude, are you saying that the women in Bolivia and Ecuador are as attractive as the women in Colombia?  That would seem to contradict your prior statement that "Colombia has the best looking women of any latin american country", dude.  

Steve

... in response to Re: You guys were right I did not listen, posted by eddiemd on May 4, 2003

That's interesting, I was watching CNN early this morning and they had a list of the cities having the most beautiful people: Number 1 - San Diego, Number 2 - Honolulu,  Number 3 San Juan Puerto Rico

... in response to Re: Re: You guys were right I did not li..., posted by HeyNow on May 5, 2003

Sounds like a list for the US.  If that was their list for the entire world I would have to say: "Huh?".  

If we're just talking US I would rank Miami, Las Vegas, and Houston as high as any cities in the US, but then I haven't travelled that much.  A common thread for all of those cities and CNN's is warm weather.  

I still say, "I wish they all could be Cali, Colombia girls".  I got mine.

Steve

... in response to Re: Re: You guys were right I did not li..., posted by HeyNow on May 5, 2003

right, in the USA.

Beautiful is a relative term. CNN...communist news network

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

A charming little piece of reality about Latin American culture that escapes alot guys until they learn the hard way.  My novia's father divorced her mother when she was young and then he married another woman having two daughters.  My novia grew up without a father and had to learn to rely on herself.  She is a hard worker, jack of all trades, a spunky survivor, and can cook every type of food.  In contrast, her half sisters were raised having everything done for them by maids.  They are very pretty, cannot cook, are lazy, and expect to marry well off men in town who can support them with maids so they can have children and look pretty.  My novia coming from a long lineage of beauties also has a cousin who was a former Miss Barranquilla who is the same way and married a man in France.  And they are not rich, they are middle class.  In Colombia, servants are inexpensive and you do not have to be rich to have them.  I am not saying there is anything inherently wrong in this lifestyle.  They are just acting with the expectations they were raised with in their culture.  But because of the lack of communications and language barriers, both people are getting what they never expected.  So, the conclusion of all of this is to learn the language, study the culture, and ask lots and lots of questions before you bring someone to the United States.
   

... in response to Re: You guys were right I did not listen, posted by valuedcustomer on May 4, 2003

Its not her fault she does not want to work and is looking for someone to support her, she was raised this way by her parents who were raised the same way by their parents. A zebra can not change its stripes. I thought that because she was well educated she would have some ambition to do something constructive with he life. But I was wrong.

... in response to You guys were right I did not listen, posted by elcolombiano on May 4, 2003

Hi. I'm sorry to hear that. We met in Cali back in Dec. You are an honest and kind man. A suggestion? Don't hesitiate to look at other places. Personally, I'm going to visit Panama City in late July. I'm NOT on some "Colombia bashing" kick, but one should keep those options open. Good luck to you.

... in response to Re: You guys were right I did not listen, posted by Keith Smith on May 4, 2003

Thanks for the kind words Keith. I remember you clearly. Fortunately I have a small group of very close and supportive friends so I am OK. I look at it as an investment that did not pan out. I have lost a lot more in the stock market. The stock market did not give me the emotional loss though. There are a lot of nice women out there. I don't want to get hung up on one bad one.