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[This message has been edited by Hiker]

While I was sitting in the Colombian Consulate in Houston, I was chatting with a Colombian woman and her 17 year old son.  She was explaining to me that I do not need a visa to visit Colombia.  I told her thanks, but I had already visited the country many times and I was at the Consulate to request a marriage visa to allow me to get married in Colombia.  The woman then asked me many questions of what I perceived the differences to be between the Latin and American woman and related issues.  The lady asked me if it was ok to ask the age difference between me and the girl I will marry.  I said no problem, and I told her I was 45 and the woman I will marry is 35.  Then I learned why she asked.  She said that her husband is American and was working  for an oil company when she met him.  She said he was 45 and she was 23.  She told me she was ready to get married and was looking for a man and not a boy.  She said that now she is 46.  She said that at any point of her marriage she would have done it again.  She told me her reason for asking was that people in this country has a hard time dealing with the age difference.  She said she remembered how his family and friends told him she would leave him within two years.  She said she worked hard to ensure her husband maintained a high level of confidence that it would never happen.  She said she knew in her heart the day she married him that she would never leave him or cheat on him, but that she had a lot to overcome because of the words of others.

For me personally I hit my limit marrying someone 10 years younger than me, but I know this topic comes up from time to time so I thought I would pass this story along.  I might also add that I can only hope my wife looks that good in a pair of jeans when she hits 46.

On another note, today while browsing through here I ran across a thread that alluded to the only reason a girl leaves Colombia to marry a gringo is for economic reasons.  For those of you who are thinking about going to another country but have not decided, don’t let this sway you.  Of course there are girls who would leave all for economic reasons.  That is true with many women.  Look in this country.  Do you ever see an old ugly woman driving a new corvette?  If you do she bought it herself.  Watch the reality shows on TV and you can she that many women are for sale.  BUT this does not mean every woman has this outlook.  On the flip side you can also see women taken for every dime they have because they thought the guy loved them.  The girl I will marry in Colombia this month, has a car, a good job, a very nice home, and some very solid friends.   She is 35, never married and no kids.  We had a very long conversation one night about our reasoning for why we are doing what we are doing.  She told me hers was very simple.  She said that she refused to live like her sisters, and like her mother in her earlier years.  She said she had no illusions of finding a man there who would be faithful to her and honor their bed.  She told me she wanted to have a faithful home.  She told me that if I can love only her and treat her as my best friend, then no man will be loved  more or treated better than me.  And I believe her.

... in response to A couple of thoughts, posted by Hiker on Mar 2, 2003

Hiker,
I have casually dated several latin women (brazilians) that I have met here in the US.  (In Newark, NJ there is a very large population of brazilian people who have to be among the most friendly people of any nationality I have ever met!)  In every case, the latin women were anywhere from 10 to 18 years younger than me, and it was not a problem for them at all.  If anything, the age differential was part of the attraction for the ladies because of emotional maturity and financial stability that I brought to the relationship.  Also, nearly every lady had dated a much older man in their lives (sometimes when they were only 18 or 20 they had dated brazilian men in their 40's, for example.)  There appears to be no social stigma against these relationships in Latin American countries, or in Brazil at least.

Of course, my male friends were married to AW and their wives were none too happy to have me join them socially with a younger girlfriend!

... in response to Re: A couple of thoughts, posted by Jersey Mike on Mar 4, 2003

Yeah I have to agree with you on this.  If I had a friend who wanted to pursue a younger woman from these cultures I would encourage him to do so.  I am too self conscience about a big age difference to pursue it on a permanent basis.  I admit though that the issue is with me and not the ladies maturity or intentions.  The closest friend I have here in Texas is a guy who grew up in Cali.  He is a very well educated man from an upper class family in Cali.  His father is 26 years older than his mother.  He laughed at me for having such an issue with the age thing.  Before I met the girl I am going to marry, I was seeing a wonderful and beautiful young lady in Cali.  I never had a doubt about her integrity or question her ability to be a great companion.  I just could not deal with the knowledge that she was 20 years younger than me.  

I have made a lot of statements that a younger woman would only marry an older guy for economic reasons.  I am sure this is true in many cases but I now believe it may not be as often as I once thought.