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To answer your Qustion about what went wrong with my Ex amd me? She was 25 years old at the time going on 14. She had Anger mangement problems, she would get up-set vary easy, she was a vary controling and possessive person. When I met her in Bogota she was my Dream girl, she treated me like a King. she never raised her voice to me, there was no signs control and possiveness. After about a week into the marrage I found that she had her own agenda. She always wanted things her way and if they were not the she wanted ... her anger would come out. At frist it was settel then after time it started getting worst. the night she attacted me was because we got into a small argument over nothing and I wanted to go sleep on the couch. She BLOU and attacted me, I through her up agence the wall and ran in to the living room, she picked up the phone and called 911. I did't even know that she new what 911 was.

... in response to My Ex!, posted by Ruben on Oct 16, 2001

Ruben,

In that whole mess, there must have been a point where you made the decision to throw her up against the wall.  You made this decision to act.  You chose this course of action.  I appreciate you sharing this situation here, so that hopefully someone will make a different choice, or even better see this type of event building up, but it seems like you are implying that what you did was ok, since it was only responding to previous events. Do you think that you had an opportunity to decide what you would do?  So if she called the police about something that actually took place, then it was not a false accusation, right?

... in response to My Ex!, posted by Ruben on Oct 16, 2001

Hey Ruben I realize you were under attack but the next time just walk out the door. They can't call 911 on you for that.

... in response to Re: My Ex!, posted by Cali vet on Oct 16, 2001

As Michael B says, anything can happen. Just because you are right does not mean you will get fair treatment by the law.

  I would have walked out the door and called 911 myself from another phone. Spousal abuse is spousal abuse, and always unacceptable. When you're in a situation which can cost you a trip to jail, a nasty divorce, false accusations of abuse so you can be denied child custody or so she can scam you for immigration purposes, that isn't the time to be too "macho" to call the cops and get her behavior documented.

  IF I decided to give her another chance (and how many men would deserve a second chance after physically attacking their wives?), at least I would have some paper trail on my side to show who was abusing whom.

  In reality, though, I probably wouldn't even give her a second chance. If she will behave like that so early in the marriage, chances are it's just a preview of things to come, and I don't just mean physical abuse but pulling every legal trick in the book to take advantage of me. If the above happened and the police believed my side of the story, I would consider myself lucky and then not push my luck an inch further.  

  OK. I've never been married and haven't been in the above sort of situation personally. Am I right or wrong?

... in response to Re: My Ex!, posted by Cali vet on Oct 16, 2001

Now who told you that fairy tale? Woman can't lie? And cops aren't stupid enough to beleive them?

Did you notice this post is titled "Personal Experience"?

... in response to My Ex!, posted by Ruben on Oct 16, 2001

Ruben,

If what you've said is true, this was not a case of a 25 year old woman going on 14 with anger management problems.  This was a case of marriage/immigration fraud.  She did everything deliberately from the time you and her met to the time when she called the police.  It was a coldly calculated and carried out plan.  She had no intention of entering into and staying in a marriage with you.  Plain and simple, she used you to get into the U.S.

Go to this link and read Shane's story.  His situation sounds very familiar to yours:

http://www.match-seeker.com/shane.htm

... in response to Shane's story, posted by briloop on Oct 16, 2001

I've ever read.  So much for the theory that choosing a woman with a child equals a grateful woman seeking domestic stability.  Both the woman and the child sound like psycho nut cases.  Nobody should have to live through something like that.

... in response to Shane's story, posted by briloop on Oct 16, 2001

I read that story and it is something else. Big lesson, though: he ignored and rationalized away plenty of things which he shouldn't have. I hope guys who read lists and boards like this (which Shane did not do) would be more circumspect than that.