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 my lady an i have been having trouble talking, it turns out she and her brother take care of all the bills in the house.the father is not around and the mother does not work. so the girl has a pretty full day with work and school. but i don't feel she makes an effort to talk with me ,i set her up with norms email service so she could email me but she has yet to use it. when i ask her why. she says is very bussy with work an school. yet she want me to call her all the time. i feel i did what i told myself not to do rush into something. now i wonder if are life to gather will be filled with distances. not what i am looking for in a marriage
she is to come to the u.s. on a k1 visa around x-mas. but the thing that i have been givin alot of tought to is when she is gone how will she handle livin the good life while her brother is left as the only one to take care of his family an mother an little sister. if it were me that would not sit well with me ,an i think it would take it toll on are relationship. when i ask her about it she should that thing would be ok. but for the first time i don't see a happy ending with us just alot of trouble in the making. i need some good advice should i stay in the relationship or move on. help guys

 At the present the relationship is fresh and new.  This is the time when she should still be singing your name and waking up in the morning with a smile on her face as she thinks of you.

 No matter how poor or stressed a woman is, they will make time to show a man he is important to them if they do love him.   You have time for your priorities period.   If she doesn't have time for you then you are not a priority to her.  It hurts to realize that but it's far better now than after you marry her.  

 I know all about what you are experiencing.  I was in exactly the same situation with a Filipina back in 93-94.  She loved for me to call and write constantly but never made a significant effort to communicate or show any effort to let me know I was important to her.   Ultimately I moved on and am now married to a wonderful woman who is totally opposite.   I would worry much more about this than any financial problems if I were you.

                                  SteveG

H2-Oh

A few days ago, you asked the forum about whether or not you should end your engagement with your great looking, fun to be with, fiance(with the bubble butt) that you loved.

You indicated previously that her height was your reason for concern....which wasn't received very well by most.

Now, you provide these "new" concerns you have regarding the relationship, and again ask for an endorsement to dump her.

What is the real deal?

As far as the financial situation goes, everyone's case is different, and you have to determine if that sits well with you. But the thing that I see here is her reluctance to make time to communicate with you. To me, this is a red flag.

Think about every time a previous relationship you've had was on the verge of breaking up. Chances are, the first casualty was the importance you played in her life (or she played in yours). Last time I was dumped, my ex-novia just couldn't seem to find the time to write or call or even take my calls.

I'm not saying it's over for you and her, but one thing is true in every country and culture - we make time for the things or people that are important to us. How much actual time she can make for you may be different than my sweetie makes for me, but either way she will convey to you how important you are to her. If she does not let you know with words and actions that you are important to her ... guess what? You probably are not a central figure in her life as you should be if you are contemplating marriage.

Latinas are extremely close to their families, more than us gringos can possiblly understand. When you marry a girl from Colombian or Mexico you marry the whole family.  If you think you only have to travel to Colombia once a year to visit, you are not being realistic. If they have financial problems guess who has to pay.  The list will start: someone is sick and needs money for a doctor, so and so lost their apartment and needs money right now, many, many expensive phone calls, they will want to bring half the family to the USA on your nickel.  If you you have married a latina. Colombia is not going to get any better soon, so Plan Colombia might include spending a large portion of your savings.

That's one of the reasons why I stopped looking there, way too much for me.

mike

If I had been told that I had to support an extended family in Colombia before marriage, I may not have done it.