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I came around the corner and Johanna saw me. She looked surprised but didn't act happy to see me. The doorman let her in and she came over to me to give me a kiss.....I backed away from her and that set the tone of the next 2 hrs. Itold her we needed to go to see Veronica and talk, she said fine. We arrived at Latin Love and sat down with Veronica. I asked Johanna what she wanted for her life and she told me that she wanted to go to school and to work. She said that she didn't want to depend on anyone for her money. I said that was fine with me it was her life and she could do what she wanted. I wasn't mad at her, I just wanted to hear what she wanted to say. She apologized for the cigarettes and for drinking all the booze, she had been under alot of stress. I asked her about the dozen roses and she said "I bought them". I said you did, then what about this? I pulled out the card from my pocket and she turned red as a tomato. She was caught. I told her not to bother to explain anything...I knew everything was a lie. I told her" you want a new life, let's start today. She said she would need a few days to get a room with her aunt. I told her I needed to start my new life today, she had to leave now. She was scared and a little upset, but she didn't cry, Johanna never cries.
   We drove back to the apt.and saw her mother who was sitting at the pool. Johanna and I went over to her and sat down. Johanna asked what happened to her face and her mother told her. Sometime during the next few minutes I think Johanna realized that her world was coming apart. I got the 3 trash bags full of clothes and led Johanna and her mother to the front door. Freddy and Martha where waiting in Freddy's taxi. I asked Martha in and spoke to her for 5 minutes and told her what happened.She cried, then I told her to take care of Johanna. Johanna had lost another 8 pounds and was about 96 pound now. She looked bad and sick. I was concerned about Johanna. I told Martha to find a psycologist and I would pay for Johanna to go and talk about her eating disorder. She said she would. When  I came out with Martha, Johanna was smoking a cigarette. It seemed right to me.Her new old life.
   I have since found out many things about Johanna. She was sleeping with my driver, Jose Luis in the apt. She did go to a finca the few days before I arrived. The problem is that it was a finca that was owned by Mafiosa, really bad guys and Johanna was that weekends flavor. Finca are used for two things, to get away for the weekend and to have partys. To drink and have sex.She didn't care, she only lives for the moment. I felt very sorry for Johanna and very fortunate to have all this happen before I brought her to the states. In the next few days that followed, I received approx. 30 phone calls at the apt. all from guys for Johanna. How many guy was she sleeping with????? It didn't matter now, I was done. One thing Johanna always said is that she didn't want to be like her mother. Well she was not like her mother......she was worse. Good luck Johanna.
To be continued My Story Part 8 .....A new beginning.

H2-Oh

... in response to My Story Part 7, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 19, 2001

HOWARD,
THE STORY IS REALLY WILD SORRY SOME OF THE GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND I DO NOT KNOW YOU PERSONALLY BUT FROM WHAT DIEGO PILAR AND MARIA HELENA HAVE TOLD ME YOU ARE A GOOD GUY WILL YOU ATTEMPT TO START ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP WITH A COLOMBIAN? JUST CURIOUS GOOD LUCK PLEASE TRY TO FINISH THE STORY SOON
                     TAKE CARE
                             DAVEY

... in response to Re: My Story Part 7, posted by DaveyRich1 on Jul 20, 2001

Keep reading

H2-Oh

... in response to My Story Part 7, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 19, 2001

sad story, but probably true

... in response to My Story Part 7, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 19, 2001

Let's not forget how this started.  I think some people are starting to feel sorry for you H2O, but I'm not one of them. I'm sure you are a nice enough guy, with the best of intentions.  It's bad enough that you got swindled by a beautifal Colombiana, but the real bad part is you did absolutely nothing about it before it even started.  It's like you just said, 'here I am, take me'.  The only moral of this story should be to do your homework before you get married...not pointing fingers at her or sympathizing with H20. The percentages are bad enough as it is.

... in response to Re: My Story Part 7, posted by JunFan68 on Jul 19, 2001

Hi JunFan68,

Just curious, please clarify your comment... "The percentages are bad enough as it is."

Thanks,

... in response to Re: Re: My Story Part 7, posted by yc on Jul 20, 2001

I wasn't trying to win the Nobel Prize with that comment, just merely saying that the divorce rates are approaching 50% for all marriages in the US.  That's all.

Mike

... in response to My Story Part 7, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 19, 2001

rule #1.... always look at the parents. they have the biggest influence on how a persons personality will be when they are younger. screwed up parents make screwed up grownups. good luck.

... in response to My Story Part 7, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 19, 2001

of that might help guys to guard against some of these women running the same subterfuge is to check out the family.  Get to know the parents, how was she raised.  Apparently, Johanna did not have the best mother.

I remember when I met my future suegra and after we were talking awhile, she mentioned that she felt lucky because all of her girls always liked to stay at home.  I have found this to be true of them.  They are not always out running around.  I was able to see all the family photo albums, things like that.  

I have yet to see any flags, let alone a red one and I know it would much harder to hide if I was not able to get close to the other members of her family.

... in response to Re: One way I know..., posted by Edge on Jul 19, 2001

Say......Edge congrats on your fiance visa approval.  What's the latest?  Is your fiance excited about going to Bogota for the interview?  And are you going back to Cali, Colombia before she finally leaves for the States?  BTW you're too smart for red flags. You see 'em and then deal with 'em.  I wish I was as smart with women as you are.

... in response to Re: Re: One way I know..., posted by buzzy on Jul 19, 2001

I am not so sure about me being smart with women.  I wasted a number of years pursuing AM, especially the last one I had, 8 years and not much to show for it.  The one good thing to come out of that relationship was my resolve to never again waste more time on someone like her and to look somewhere else where a woman might appreciate AM.  I appreciate your compliment though.  You find a good one and she will make you look smart.  

I would say the novia is about 4-6 weeks away from coming here and she is getting excited and I know a little sad to be leaving her world behind.  She is really close to her family.

At this point I do not have any plans to go to Cali until next year.  I would love to head down there before but I have too much to do now.

What I need to do is to get you off the fence so you can find a woman who appreciates all you have to offer, which is
mucho, mi amigo.

... in response to My Story Part 7, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 19, 2001

If you have made the decision to give more money to help her with her eating disorder, please tell everyone on this board that you are going to pay the psychologist directly and not give the money to her mother to take care of it!!

Thanks for the story..many lessons to be learned here......

... in response to Re: My Story Part 7, posted by Chris F on Jul 19, 2001

No the money goes to the doctor.

... in response to My Story Part 7, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 19, 2001

Hi Howard,

I have been stunned reading your story.  We met at the bank and Latin Love last Thanksgiving (remember that dreadful Thanksgiving dinner!).  We headed down to Ave. Sexta for some dancing that night. I was with that super bimbo Amparo at the time. I dropped her like a hot rock after of couple days.  I can tell you, I thought you had done all the right things with Johanna. She looked like the type of woman we are all looking for by going south.

I have dated two more ladies from Cali since then with equally poor success.  I have also dated two Colombianas that happen to live here in Denver.  Maybe it is my bad luck or poor judgement on my part, but everyone I have met has been devious and underhanded in one way or another. It is like their personality has been distorted into a world of lying, distrust, and self interest.

I also have a good friend who is married to a lady from Cali for about a year now. They are still together but he has had one hell of a hard time with her. In fact the last time I talked to him, he said I think I am beginning to understand why so many Colombian men leave their wifes.

I have to admit it, I'm fairly discourged at this point about Colombian women.  I travel a fair bit to Chile and Peru, and I have not seen this level difficulty with relationships, so I think I will focus on ladies from those areas from now on.

Good luck,
mike

... in response to Re: My Story Part 7, posted by denvermike on Jul 19, 2001

I do not agree with you ( DenverMike)when you say Colombian men leave their wives becouse of one women like Johanna that we don't know. you should not judge all women in Colombia by their actions. I think the point here is that many "gringos" go to colombia looking for women much yonger and very beutiful !as a model! thinking that it will make them happier. To begin with we have different culture and ways of thinking different and when we arrive here you think !gringos! we'll forget our culture. probably, we told you when we begin dating that we would get used to your ! American culture and we believed it ourselves.  

I am a Colombian woman !married to American man! I have many friends and relatives who are happily married and they are still together.That doesn't say that I am not happy.I would said the same thing about marriege in the United Sted or any part of the world.
the only advise I can sey  you! gringos! don't look for some one that makes you feel insecure.  

good luck

carolina

... in response to Re: My Story Part 7, posted by denvermike on Jul 19, 2001

xxx

... in response to Re: My Story Part 7, posted by denvermike on Jul 19, 2001

Yea, I remember now. Glad you got rid of that girl you where  with that day. I thought that I did all the right things. I quess from one point of view I did do all the right things, I just had the wrong girl. There's more to the story, so stay tune.

H2-Oh

... in response to Re: Re: My Story Part 7, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 19, 2001

Howard - I am curious and maybe you will answer this in your later installments and I do not want you to take offense with this question.  Were there red flags that you saw and maybe ignored about Johanna?  You spent a considerable amount of time down there with her.  Was she such a good actress?  Apparently some of the other people (like Pete E.) saw things about Johanna that made them wonder about her and maybe you were not seeing the same behavior?

Thanks.

... in response to Re: My Story Part 7, posted by denvermike on Jul 19, 2001

Denver Mike,

I am getting married to the lady I met in Cali in December.  Certainly a year or two more will tell better that just six months but she's been here for ten weeks now.

There are as many American men who go to Colombia to party or want to find a subserviant woman who will follow their every order or to select a woman based solely on chest size and beauty.  I feel Colombian women have as much to fear as we do.  

My fiancee is attractive, meticulous about her personal appearance, intelligent, has a great sense of humor and returns my love in every way possible.  She has had my ATM card since February, never made any withdrawals without asking me and never wasted money.  

She is not subserviant, knows what she wants and we are constantly negotiating how we will live our lives.  She has given up her family and culture for me and chosen a life where she will have to learn English.  I appreciate every day how lucky I am.

Lots of men are happily married to Colombians and I definately wouldn't blame Colombians women if things didn't work out for me the first or second time.  

Jim

... in response to My Story Part 7, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 19, 2001

Gentlemen,

There are four morals here.

(1)  Your number 1 goal is to find someone you can trust.  One lie answers this question for you and if you don't run the other way, you need to start thinking with the BIG head.

(2)  If you select a woman solely based on beauty, she has met lots of gringos who have wined and dined her.  You're in a battle and your credit card is your only weapon.  This is a best case scenario (the worst case is she is using you and thinking ONLY about your money).  Look for women who have something on the inside of their head and have some values.

(3)  Don't spend a lot of money on a woman early in a relationship unless you have done some introspection and realized that's all you have going for you.  

(4)  Learn Spanish so you can get to know the lady.

There are lots of stories on this board of men being taken but none of them should last seven chapters. Colombia is full of women who want a man who will love only them.  We would all not want a woman who thought only of our money but we are asking for that when all we think about is their face and size of their breasts.  

Jim

... in response to Re: My Story Part 7-the moral, posted by JimSimon on Jul 19, 2001

It seems a lot of pretty foreign young girls are looking at this as a way to finance education or lifestyle. And a lot of AM are more than willing to allow themselves to be used as a sugar daddy in exchange for a young beautiful woman.  Would the red flags have been more noticable if Johanna, or Sandra had been average looking girls?

 Some of these younger women really do not seem unlike AW. Many wanting an education,therefore not having to depend on a man(I cannot say that is wrong though) So they donate a couple of years of their life to a marriage. At times to a man they do not truly love.. Taking advantage to get an education,learn to drive,make friends, get jobs,send money back home,and learn about the U.S.

 If a girl finds true love, she stays . If not, she bails,upgrading to richer or younger, or perhaps just using the education you got to now support yourself and rely on noone. This is called survival. The girls are being taken advantage of by some for their youth and beauty. They in turn use their assets to obtain a better life. It seems the main objective for many is  to get out of their countries when opportunity allow.

 I am so very glad that many on this board are seeing the realities in this whole endeavor. Thank you H2-OH for putting your story out there.Life is risky,and we should take risk.  But always be aware of potential pitfalls. And remember,women are the same everywhere. If you go beyond your league,if you go for youth and forget to look into her heart, you will pay for that shallowness somehow. Not only with money needed to impress,but your heart and ego will take the biggest hit of all.

... in response to Re: Re: My Story Part 7-the moral, posted by rick13 on Jul 19, 2001

Rick13, to address the comment... "Many wanting an education, therefore not having to depend on a man(I cannot say that is wrong though)."  You are correct somewhat about nothing being wrong with this goal in life.  The problem comes in when a person begins using other people to obtain this goal.  I believe we are in total agreement that, this is WRONG, no matter how you look at it.  Wanting an education solely for this purpose(of not depending on a man) is a very bad reason(MAJOR RED FLAG!!!) in most cases.  I learned this several years ago when I was dealing with a bad crop of AW.  The reasoning indicate that the woman has a serious intimacy problem with men.  This does not mean these women don't have relationships with men.  I am referring to serious longterm monogamous relationships.  Women(no matter where she is from) with this mode of thinking will mostly likely not be able to have a healthy relationship with a man.

One other thing... Granted, a woman is not suppose to depend on a man in general.  But if that man is her husband, she is suppose to depend on him and him likewise should depend her.  That is what marriage is suppose to be about depending on and helping each other among other things.  That is one of the major problems with American society today.  Independency in a relationship instead of dependency is being stressed.  I am pretty sure some of the happy and successfully married guys on the board can back that up.

Take care!!!

... in response to Education and dependency on a man..., posted by yc on Jul 20, 2001

Yea I'll back you up on this...you are absolutely correct with the intamacy conclusion. along with some inability to bond and fully 'give' oneself to another thru a commitment. Although lip service may be being paid to 'commitment' somewhere inside the 'caveat' of as long as it's convieniet resides. Therefore one is simply seeking a singular, personal, selfish agenda. This selfish personal agenda errodes at the heart and soul of a relationship...TRUST and LOVE. As the emotional needs of one of the parties is/won't be satisfied over time a disfunctional relationship develops. The beggining of the Death Spiral.

HD

... in response to Re: Education and dependency on a man..., posted by Houndog on Jul 20, 2001

n/t

... in response to Re: My Story Part 7-the moral, posted by JimSimon on Jul 19, 2001

Jim,
I agree,there are alot of really good women availiable in Colombia.The challenge is to find a good one and avoid the others.My theory is you can always tell the really good ones.The questionable ones are alot harder to read and this is where guys get in trouble.With all of these horror stories I would bet that in every case the guy overlooked not just little but big red flags.There are quite a few people that knew Howard and Johanna and had big doubts about Johanna.Howard spent more time with her than anyone,so she must have offered something that caused him to overlook his doubts.I can tell you there were alot of sighs of relief when we found out the wedding was off.

Pete

... in response to My Story Part 7, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 19, 2001

HOWARD,
ALL THIS IS UNBELIVABLE MAN IT HAS TO BE HARD TO SHARE THIS STORY BUT THANKS IF YOU CAN OPEN JUST ONE PERSONS EYES AND HELP THE REST OF US TO OPEN OUR EYES AND TAKE OUR TIME IN THESE RELATIONSHIPS TO FIND OUT EVERYTHING I JUST ABOUT DID THE SAME THING WITH A GIRL IN CALI 18 YOU FEEL IF YOU DO NOT GET THEM NOW THEY WILL BE GONE WHEN YOU GET BACK FOR THE GUYS ON THE BOARD JOHANNA IS ONE OF THE MOST STUNNING GIRLS IN CALI AND SHE ACTED VERY SWEET AND INNOCENT BE CAREFUL GOOD LUCK HOWARD
                          DAVEY

... in response to My Story Part 7, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 19, 2001

Boy..you sure don't have to go to the theater to see good acting.  Sure lots of baggage in her life....someone to avoid for sure....unless one has lots of fun money and no care for a quality relationship. Great story.

... in response to Re: My Story Part 7, posted by buzzy on Jul 19, 2001

I can't quote you exactly, but you feel you did all the right things, just with the wrong woman.

Dude, you need to reevaluate your methods. Have you learned from this experience?

... in response to H2-Oh, posted by Wasp on Jul 19, 2001

Yes I feel I did the right things with regards to Johanna. With another chica I'm sure I would have done things differently.

H2-Oh

... in response to Re: H2-Oh, posted by H2-Oh on Jul 19, 2001

n/t

... in response to Re: Re: H2-Oh-Unbelievable, still in den..., posted by Red Clay on Jul 20, 2001

YEP...is this amazing or what...wow...

The Ultimate Poster Story for "Check YOURSELF..before You Wreck YOURSELF"..!!

HD