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I started dating a woman in Mexico about 15 months ago.  About 12 months ago, she was having some financial problems, and as a result, I pushed her to take money from me.  She was reluctant, but ended up accepting $1000.  Well, this continued, and instead of her being reluctant to accept the money, I was the one that was reluctant to give.  The total is now $35,000.  This escalated out of control for two reasons.  The first -- we were planning to live together while she attended a semester at a local college.  In order to assure that she would have enough money in a bank account to make the INS happy, I suggested putting $10,000 in her bank account.  She did a little investigation, and, being concerned about fluctuations in the dollar/peso forex rate and wanting to make absolutely sure she would be repaying me what I put in the account, plus interest, decided to open a U.S. dollar account.  The "minimum" that a Mexican bank would accept for a USD account was $15,000, as the account would actually be in the Cayman Islands.  Also, the deposit is for a fixed term of 6 months.  (Although the details are all coming from her, I believe that all the foregoing was true, and that she did actually open the account, with the intent of paying me back.)  The $15,000 transfer occurred around December 15, so the term would be expiring around June 15. (This is important, later).  In February, she said her mom had run up hospital bills and she needed $10,000. (I do know for a fact that her mom has been sick and in the hospital.)  I told her to convert the $15,000 to pesos and pay the bills.  She said the bank would not allow her to do that.  Anyway, I end up sending her the additional $10,000.  After February the relation deteriorated, mainly because I was becoming very concerned about whether we're compatible, and so I stopped calling her after getting a little frustrated with never catching her at home.  This despite the fact that I love her and she loves me.  There was about a 6 week period when we didn't communicate.  Anyway, we spent last week together, trying to reconcile.  She told me that she didn't have any savings, and had run up some credit card debt.  The $15,000 term deposit would have come due on June 15.  At the least, I feel betrayed that she spent the money without telling me she was going to spend it.  I don't know if her behavior is completely unfair, considering we weren't communicating for a 6 week period.  Other considerations:

1.  There's an 18 year age difference
2.  She's very beautiful
3.  Other than the foregoing, I'm not aware of any signifcant deceit on her part.
4.  She wants to change some of my ingrained habits that she views as "ineducaudo", like eating habits, etc., but appears to be laying off in this respect.  We've argued about this a good bit.
5.  She likes to spend money.  I like to save.
6.  She led a somewhat deprived childhood (emotionally and materially), and likes being the center of attention as a result. I'm the opposite, somewhat introverted.  Her family is good and honest.  It's just that her father died when she was young, and her mom had to work really, really hard to support the kids materially, and didn't have much time to support them emotionally as a result.
7.  She's not deprived now.  She makes about $15,000-$20,000/year, which for someone her age in Mexico is reasonably good.  She has a close relationship with her brothers and sisters.
7.  There's a mismatch in affection between us.  She finds it difficult to show affection.  I think part of this is because she hasn't really been in a serious relationship prior to knowing me.
8.  I really feel something special when I'm around her, despite everything else.

So, now, I'm trying to decide whether the pluses exceed the minuses.  At this point, I think she would like to spend several months together to decide whether we can make a go of it long term.  I'm not sure.  Any opinions?

Jes

Jes

Just Curious.

HD

HD

It is true that I have opened up myself to personal attacks by putting a web page up with pics from Colombia. Some of it was simply because I wanted to. Is it necessary? No. But this is not new, if you notice I have sections on fishing, hunting, my dog, other travels, my college days, etc. The main reason I did it originally was so that my friends and relatives could see my fiance as well as Colombia. And I think it has helped people get a sense of what to expect in Colombia. Am I proud to be engaged to Beatriz? You bet I am.

One thing I don't do is to post anonymously and hide behind it like you.  You seem to have a very good memory of posts from mos back...that means you are one of the regulars we all know...It's really not so bad not being anonymous, but I'm sure you'll let us know when you are ready....lol.

Mike

lol

Pete

Pete

I jumped on the band wagon myself thinking this was some kind of joke.  But if not, Pete gives some good advice.  

El Diablo

ps Houndog the young one wants to borrow money. Do you think I should ?

HD

Great Post to whats his name BTW. My sentiments exactly.

HD

A good magazine is lets say 3-5 bucks and you will get way more satisfaction.

A good shrink is lets say 50-75 bucks an hour and you might get to figure out why you are such a chump and how to change that.

I've tried both.

Really? Hey, no fool like an old fool

2. She's very beautiful

So? Aren't most of them? Look at their hearts, their attitude (their spirit, if you will), not at their t*ts.

3. Other than the foregoing, I'm not aware of any signifcant deceit on her part.

Other than the foregoing? h*ll, ain't the "foregoing" enough?

4. She wants to change some of my ingrained habits that she views as "ineducaudo", like eating habits, etc., but appears to be laying off in this respect. We've argued about this a good bit.

Maybe a valid point for her--do you know how to eat with a fork?

5. She likes to spend money.

Doesn't everybody, especially when it is OPM (Other Peoples Money)?

6. She led a somewhat deprived childhood (emotionally and materially)

Let me rosin up my bow bit, there that's better, ready guys? a-one a-two.....

7. She's not deprived now. She makes about $15,000-$20,000/year, which for someone her age in Mexico is reasonably good. She has a close relationship with her brothers and sisters.

Let's see now, if I lived in Mexico and earned $20,000 a year plus got $35,000 a year from a sugar daddy I wouldn't think I was doing "reasonably good", I would think I was in hog heaven---and if I had TWO sugar daddies (something you apparently haven't even considered) each good for $35,000,  I'd be a millionare.

7. There's a mismatch in affection between us. She finds it difficult to show affection. I think part of this is because she hasn't really been in a serious relationship prior to knowing me.

Really? "difficult to show affection"? Well, either she still has a shred of conscience and/or self respect and deep down inside she wants to convince herself "I am not really a wh***".... Nah.....much more likely, she's using it as a tool to keep you on the hook.

8. I really feel something special when I'm around her, despite everything else.

Well, isn't THAT special, I mean that you feel special

So, now, I'm trying to decide whether the pluses exceed the minuses. At this point, I think she would like to spend several months together to decide whether we can make a go of it long term. I'm not sure. Any opinions?

Alright, here's an opinion: I think that if you spend several months together with this woman, you will be: a) several months older b) several thousand dollars less wealthy c)left alone and broken hearted d) back here posting messages saying "they're all players and golddiggers and sharks" e)all of the above.

Mexico is full of wonderful women, why not devote the next several months to finding one of THEM? And here's a clue for you, a decient woman won't let you BUY her. Any woman call SELL sex acts (although most of them don't), but only a good one can GIVE affection, and then only to the man she truely cares about----if you're after the first, you're paying WAY much more than the going rate, and if you're after the latter (which I hope you are) you're going about it all wrong.  

Now cut your losses with this one and I hope to see a post from you in about a year that says "Guys, be careful, you CAN get hooked up with the wrong one, I did once, but I straightened out and in the end I found a wonderful one and now we're both very happy"

Is it finally over now?  Purty puleeeze!

Mike

Personally, I'm looking forward to chapter 37. Isn't that  the one where the moon men have Flash Gordon tied up at the abandoned coke cooking lab near the Peruvian border and Consuelo, H2OH's current girlfriend, who first appeared in chapter 28, displacing Margurita, who was introduced back in chapter 14---Hey, you really had us going for a while, H2OH, most of us thought that Margurita was going to be the one, too bad she was disfigurred so horribly in the helicopter accident--you know, many of us thought you should have married her despite the accident, I mean, all the help her dad (the lawyer) gave you in finalizing your divorce from what's her name (see chapter 2)---hey, you don't think he did all that just because lawyers are nice fellows, did you? Heck no, he did it for his little girl. And let's not forget how loyal she was to YOU back in chapter 26 when that hotel maid mistook you for Jake Blues.

Anyway, Consuelo and Juan Valdez, who are out together researching locations to make a TV commercial, manage to save Flash and even though he is unconcious (those FUMES!) they get him flopped over the back of Juan's mule and carry him back to the relative civilization of Barrancabermeja, where the leader of the US DEA team (who just happens to be H2OH's brother-in-law)....but wait, its his story, I'll let him tell it.....  

My comments:

See Bret's post; sentences #1 & #3, read Jes's, then read hounddogs post TWICE.

Man, $35K in mexico? I'll bet after that score she got nominated for "Pimp of the Year".

Fisrt thing monday morning find a plastic surgeon and see about getting that tattoo on your forehead removed. Yea that BIg "FM" ...it's there just go look in the mirror.

Then, call your "babe" and arrange to get together as soon as possible. For $35,000.00 she has a Helluva Lot of catching up to do. Then you ride the horse you payed for till the deal falls apart or lasts.  Yea,  I'll take those bets ....and give odds.

Then...after she leaves...and you stop kicking yourself in the @$$ for being such a chump...you slap yourself in the face a few times...yea then a few more times..or until you wake up.

Then...if you're not to old...you do your Homework...!! And figure out WHY for Heavens Sake you got yourself in that spot in the first place and HOW to prevent it from happening to you again !!!

And if you're to stupid and lazy to solve your self worth problems, then at least just go rent by the hour or the week.

HD

Pete

Pete

Then take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself the following question: "If I would'nt dare treat her like that, why do I allow it to be done to me ?"

Just my thoughts

Jes

some people that have made several posts similiar to this one seem to have forgoten that it's the man that's in charge, not the pretty lady.

if you let a a women like this make the decisions, control the relationship, and give her the money, then you should to go back to her, 'cause you a dummy!!!

This is a joke right??

This isn't even worth wasting the depreciation on my keyboard on.