Print Page - By-passing the agencies?

... in response to By-passing the agencies?, posted by tommi on May 4, 2001

Tommi - I remember when I was in Caracas for a tour, a group of us went to the local mall. One of the guys could speak Spanish. We decided to start inviting attractive ladies we saw to the party. Because he could communicate with them, we ended up with several more nice ladies at the fiesta. This is one example of where being able to communicate in spanish will free you from having to use an agency.

I am definitely not here to bash the agencies. Obviously, they provide a service and some are better than the others at providing this service. You will find all types of women there, good and bad. If you can speak spanish at a reasonable level where you do not need an interpreter, you can free yourself from having to use the agency or another interpreter. Then you can make your own judgements about the woman.

I thought David had a great post about the food court idea.

I actually met my fiancee through an internet agency that was affiliated with an agency in Cali. My girlfriend does not really like the agencies and she belonged to several. Mainly because she was not always sure she could trust the agencies to tell her the truth.

If I had to do it over again, I would probably use both the agencies and try to meet girls in the normal course of being there. But I can communicate pretty well in Spanish now where I could approach a girl and have a good conversation.

... in response to Re: By-passing the agencies?, posted by Edge on May 4, 2001

I have already planned two weeks in Cali with two different agencies and simply want to make the most of my first trip. I do believe that using an agency is the best initial way to go, and also agree that one can do well outside an agency, once one knows the "terrain." The two agencies I selected have thus far been very helpful, and considering the cost of using them; they provide outstanding customer service.

I can honestly say that just reading these boards has brought tremendous insight, on numerous topics, despite the "in house bickering that takes place." I do admire all of you guys for your opinions and think that the variety of participants keeps it interesting. I think this board would be a better place if the personal attacks could subside just a bit.

Just my POV...

... in response to Thanks guys..., posted by tommi on May 4, 2001

Nothing wrong with using agencies and nothing wrong with Freelancing. Have you been to Cali before? If you speak the language OK you will have no problem starting conversations and meeting women.

In Discos for instance, unless the Lady is unavailable, it would be rare to get shot down asking a Latina to dance!
If ya dance salsa or are willing to "fake it" you will have a blast!

One night I was itting outside at a Disco on Avenida Sexta and a few guys walked in with a bunch of Ladies. Aftre a bit I was recruited to dance with all the "lonely ones". While
none of these ladies were my type, I had a great time!

Get out and experience the city.

... in response to By-passing the agencies?, posted by tommi on May 4, 2001

Hey there. I have met alot of ladies either playing tennis, swimming, of simply out shopping. You can meet a lady just like you would at home. Cali has a very nice swimming park. However, I cannot remember where it is. If your in good shape, you can talk to plenty of latinas there. In Bogota, I would play tennis and when I was lucky golf was available. Here the best way I found to meet ladies.

Go to the shopping mall, go to the opposite side of the mall from the food court. When you see a lady your interested in, ask her to show you where you can eat lunch. If she walks you over to the food court, you have the time and opportunity to break the ice and find out if she is single. If she is "bingo" ask her to have lunch with you. If she is single 90% of the time she will have lunch with you.

Good luck, David

... in response to Re: By-passing the agencies?, posted by david on May 4, 2001

David,

I think seeking additional avenues to meet ladies in addition to the agencies can be beneficial to guys looking to maximize their chances of meeting a nice lady.

However I do disagree with the "food court routine". Maybe it's just the way it is presented, but asking a lady to lunch simply because she says she is "single" seems a bit precarious to me.

A short walk from the other side of a mall is not going to reveal much about what type of lady she is before you invite her to have lunch on you. "Gold-diggers", "party girls", or hungry "opportunists" will surely accept an invitation to lunch....regardless of whether they are REALLY interested knowing you as a person.

There are a lot of nice ladies down there that are single, friendly, and open to meeting someone. And many of the nicest ladies, the type that many guys are looking for, won't accept lunch from a stranger that they've only known for a few strides across the mall.

I'd suggest asking a lady to sit and talk, or meet you later to talk or take a walk. It will also serve as a better screening mechanism.

Just .02

Tai

... in response to Let's have a free lunch on the gringo!, posted by Tai on May 5, 2001

Tai, You are absolutely correct. Unless one 'lives in' Colombia or any LA locale meeting by the 'lets do lunch' routine is pretty absurd if one is looking for a 'real' LT relationship.

Of course you can see the guys that fancy themselves as "Don Juans" line up cheering the humerous notion of meeting on the streets. I think smart guys looking for a truly serious LT relationship should think about the 'odds' of meeting 'The Right One' walking down the street...or in a food court. Unless one lives there.

Houndog

... in response to Let's have a free lunch on the gringo!, posted by Tai on May 5, 2001

-----------------------------------------------------------
"Gold-diggers", "party girls", or hungry "opportunists" will surely accept an invitation to lunch....regardless of whether they are REALLY interested
knowing you as a person.
------------------------------------------------------------
If one is worried about getting "scammed" out of a free lunch, it would be better not to go at all. Even if the Lady was not really interested, actually talking to and interacting with Latinas can teach one WAY more than a Library full of John Gray books;-)

BTW, "Gold Diggers", "Party Girls" or "Hungry Oppurtunists" with even half a brain would go where they could find the MOST "marks" or Gringos. . . . . . . . they would join every agency they could, not hope some Gringo with guts and Spanish fluency asks them where the food court is!

... in response to Re: Let's have a free lunch on the gring..., posted by Ralph on May 5, 2001

Ralph,

I, personally, am not worried about getting scammed out of anything. As I indicated, talking to ladies isn't the issue but rather using the "free lunch" to get her to talk to you IS. One doesn't know whether or not she is "interested" or is just taking advantage of the situation.

I have already been to Colombia a few times myself, and I know from personal experience that if a lady is interested in talking to you/getting to know you SHE WILL, period.

Someone else(traveler) mentioned the wining and dining of a lady...

It's fine to take a lady out for dinner, dancing, outings to wherever....once you have a better idea of who you're dealing with. Yes, it takes time to get to know someone true enough, but I've seen a whole lot of guys down there throwing money at girls; dinners, trips, gifts, right from jump...trying to impress them and having it blow up in their face. Making it about "winning" her through lunches, gifts, trips, etc, is how many gringos "MARK" themselves. Guys aren't winning any "special" consideration by spending a bunch of money on her. While many gringos think it's the trips to the restaurants that are winning her over, to the lady...what she values is the TIME, so where you spend it is irrelevant.

I thought the whole point was to find a lady that likes you for you? If wining and dining is your angle, why even go to SA? There are plenty of good-looking hot young AW that would quickly accept free lunch and dinner offers.

Just another .02

Tai

ps - IMO agencies in general WILL put most guys farther ahead in the game than cold-calling(meeting girls on the street) in regards to screening mechanisms.

... in response to Re: Re: Let's have a free lunch on the g..., posted by Tai on May 5, 2001

There is a lot of ground between ?throwing money around? and
having lunch. I fail to see how free lunch in a food court
would be som compelling that a woman that had zero interest whatsoever, would even bother.

There are women that frequent the agencies for the ?free parties?, nights on the town with Gringos, use of the pool,
etc etc etc.

Now, I am not saying most or even a large percentage. The fact is if a half way smart woman wanted some free meals or nights on the town, she would be better off joining an agency than cruising the mall.

I'm not bashing agencies, in fact I stayed at one. I agree that for those with limited time, limted Spanish, less adventurous, or outgoing, Agencies are WAY ahead of ?freelancing?. I just don't see why many here totally discredit the possibility of meeting a great girl through other means.

Use whatever method works for you. There is no perfect way for everybody.

... in response to Re: Re: Let's have a free lunch on the g..., posted by Tai on May 5, 2001

(((I thought the whole point was to find a lady that likes you for you? If wining and dining is your angle, why even go to SA? There are plenty of good-looking hot young AW that would quickly accept free lunch and dinner offers.)))

You have no idea how many times I have said the same thing. And how many times a certian few want to argue the merits of bribery as a starting point. I agree completely that if coersion is the "modus operandi" then one can go to his local mall(chuckle) and 'bargian' for a date.

For those looking for love of the enduring type I agree the woman should accept you for you. I met quite a few good looking women in my trips south that were more interested in meeting a "good man" than a free lunch. Yes it was the time and attention they were given that was more important than stuff.

***ps - IMO agencies in general WILL put most guys farther ahead in the game than cold-calling(meeting girls on the street) in regards to screening mechanisms. **

Once again I agree the "odds" will be far greater using an agency in the beggining if one is looking for a true LT relationship than 'buying lunch'

Regards, Houndog

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Let's have a free lunch on t..., posted by Houndog on May 5, 2001

How can you guys get so excited about asking a lady to have lunch with you. Is this not a nice social activity to break the ice? How is having lunch wining and dining? How is this trowing money around? How much does lunch cost? 10-12 dollars? Social activity is the key to meeting women. Here or there, there is no difference. Do you guys think these ladies sit at home on the internet all day? No they are very much social beings. By the negative comments of having lunch with a latina, I sense you guys may be social introverts "to put it nicely".

Really think about your weekend? Lets see for me. Sat. Biking 20 miles down the beach with friends and meeting ladies. Airshow in the afternoon. Dinner with a date. All on Sat. This morning golf at 10 am and singles tennis this afternoon. Enjoy life guys because those girls down south do more than AW. Good luck David

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Let's have a free lunch ..., posted by david on May 6, 2001

David,

In your own words "Social activity is the key to meeting women. Here or there, there is no difference." Since when does social activity "automatically" mean: "hanging at the far end of the mall, cold calling ladies for a lunch date"? If that's your only definition of social activity, then I'd say you're the...."social introvert".

I've merely offered an opinion about what I do not think would be an effective approach in general, especially given the parameters that were stated.

I will say it AGAIN, having additional avenues of meeting ladies can benefit guys looking for a nice lady. However, one should definitely consider the TYPE of avenue one is taking. Some avenues can lead you to places and situations you don't want to be in.

I DO speak spanish and have met quite a number of ladies outside of agencies, as well as having made a number of good friends. In addition, I have used agencies.

Ralph,

The title of your previous post was "it's not all black and white"....which is true. Now you're telling David "don't bother", because people offer differing opinions. If things aren't black or white....then all opinions/experiences would have the same potential for contributory
"merit"(within reason), right?

As always, just .02

Tai

... in response to To lunch, or not to lunch?, posted by Tai on May 6, 2001

-----------------------------------------------------
I have already planned two weeks in Cali with two different agencies and simply want to make the most of my first trip. I do believe that using an
agency is the best initial way to go, and also agree that one can do well outside an agency, once one knows the ?terrain.? The two agencies I
selected have thus far been very helpful, and considering the cost of using them; they provide outstanding customer service.
----------------------------------------------------------

Why do the agency fans feel compelled to bash any other methods? Mind you I am involved with an agency and think they are a big help for most, but why a problem with asking women to lunch in ADDITION to agencies?

Black or white. I see grey.

... in response to Please visit original post, posted by Ralph on May 6, 2001

Ralph,

The portion you quoted is not from the original post by tommi, which started the thread, but anyway...

It's not a coincidence that I didn't respond to the other replies to the original prior to david's. Nor is it coincidence that I didn't disagree with David's post completely. The first half of it...fine. The second half, especially the last line...uh,.."Houston, we may have a problem" Here is the complete paragraph for your convenience:

***Go to the shopping mall, go to the opposite side of the mall from the food court. When you see a lady your interested in, ask her to show you where you can eat lunch. If she walks you over to the food court, you have the time and opportunity to break the ice and find out if she is single. If she is "bingo" ask her to have lunch with you. If she is single 90% of the time she will have lunch with you.***

I am NOT bashing all other methods of meeting women, I am simply questioning the "food court-cold calling-free lunch-routine".

I have a good friend who is La Profesora at a beauty college in Barranquilla. She regularly invites me to the school to introduce me to ladies whenever I'm there. I have other friends that regularly invite me to las fiestas en sus barrios while I'm there, y otros amigos que me invitan a cenar consigos...again, avenues for exposure to ladies, as well as people who know something about the ladies there. My friends are not "agencies", but they DO provide a screening mechanism; i.e....is the lady involved with anyone, is she looking for someone, age, children, personality, etc....as many agencies do....that save me preventable headaches.

That's really what this is about, IMO, helping people to avoid preventable headaches...and screening mechanisms are better to that end.

This is the last .02 I'm spending on this thread,

Tai

... in response to Re: Please visit original post, posted by Tai on May 6, 2001

Sorry if you took my post as being directed at you personally. I think your meeting of women at your friends Beauty school is a great idea. In fact I feel that if possible introductions by friends is a great "screening" process.

I would probably prefer that over a stranger doing the screening. In fact the only person I would rather do the "screening" is me! The post on food courts mentioned having enough time to find out if the girl was single, available, looking etc. Surely one could find out more over lunch.

Nobody knows what type of Lady you would like better than you. If you want to know. . . . .ask.

I really don't think we disagree that much, as you are certainly not limiting your options and my comment on bashing was not directed at you. Sorry again if it cam across that way.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Let's have a free lunch ..., posted by david on May 6, 2001

Many guys on this board see dating as "abnormal" A woman you might meet at the mall has to be viewed with skepticism, as she is obviously "trolling" for dates.

Other avenues, options or opinions are not welcome here. You must go to an agency or you are somehow less sincere, or not looking for "real" love etc etc etc. Most people I know that are Married, DATED first. Most met at a party, mall, work, school, etc etc etc.

Sure Latin America is different. There is the language barrier and the time constraints. So if one speaks Spanish and has the time to spend, then what is wrong with that?

Without a doubt the BEST way to have success would be to move to LA for a while. Most can't do that. One list member did and was TRASHED, because he wanted to DATE!

Give up trying to convince them, and enjoy life.

... in response to Don't bother, posted by Ralph on May 6, 2001

And we agree that the 'best way' is to live there. And being wealthy and socialy connected wouldn't hurt either. Especialy if you can hang out with the Rich & Powerful...say, get invited to all the parties at the Presidential Palace. Of course we're all still waiting for that success story and trip report(LOL).

So if you don't mind. Can you post all the 'cold call on the street success stories" ? Sounds like such a simple request, I really don't understand the hold up. In fact I've been waiting for close to 2 years to see that list.

Truly anything is possible, so surely instead of claiming something is possible, one should gladly validate their claims. Seems only logical to provide a list odf success stories to back up ones claims, don't you think ? After all the 'odds' are in your favor that there is at least one. Surely one guy got lucky that can start the list ?

May we this list , please !

Houndog

... in response to Re: Please bother to post the List of su..., posted by Houndog on May 6, 2001

OK:

My friend who met his wife at the restaurant where she waitressed, and they have been together 4 years, and have a 2 year old daughter.

Another friend who lives about 3 miles from the first one been married a year and a half with a girl he met on vacation in the DR.

My brother in law who is French who met my sister-inlaw at a park in the DR, while there on business. They have been together 7 years, he lives in the DR now, and they have a beautiful 5 year old daughter.

Another friend in Rhode Island met a woman in the DR while on vacation and has been Married for 2 years.

Myself, been with my wife for a year and a half. Met through friends.

A friend from Italy that will be Marrying his Dominican girlfriend in December, been together almost two years. Met at a Wedding.

A buddy from Chicago, now living in the Dr. Been with his girl three years and have a 6 month old son.

A guy I know retired in the DR that has been with his wife 7 years.

This is NOT counting people I met on-online! These are people I have met personally under normal circumstances.

How many of your personal aquaintances met wives through agencies? Not guys you met here and on LWL, but friends?

Sure you read success stories here. This is a gathering place for agency members. We have also read some horror stories. Bruce Hart, LarryG etc etc etc.

I'm not against agencies, in fact am involved with one, but realize that ruling out avenues to meet is just plain stupid. Because you could never do it, don't rule it out for others.

Oops, forgot a business associate from Puerto Rico now living in Miami with his Dominican wife, met while in the DR for business.

My wife's friend is now engaged to an American she met while he was there on vacation.

These exaples are just from the DR, because there is practically ZERO agency presence. You know what? People are still meeting, falling in love and getting Married.

Oh yeah, I have a Dominican friend in Dallas Married and two kids to an American woman. Met while she was on vacation.

Try visiting DR1.com and ask how many people there are happily Married to Dominicans. Then ask how many met through agencies.

... in response to Sure!, posted by Ralph on May 6, 2001

You and your wife met thru friends..???? Thats not cold calling !!!!!!!!!!!!!! You never mentioned meeting thru friends...so lets not change the game to skew the outcome , OK ?

It sure would be nice to be able to verify your match claims...know what I mean...after all...this is going to be a comparitive study...it would be nice to compare things fairly...don't ya think...

Need I go on..?????? or are you going to force me to explain to you at lenght what a valid comparitive study is as compared to shall I say...un validated names that could have been made up ? After all I offered a list from this forum that could be easily validated. You wouldn't want an unfair comparison, just to push your point of view would you ???? Naaahhh...of course not. I didn't think so.

So may we have a 'real list' ?? verifiable...and only cold call strollers this time ????

Houndog

... in response to Re: Whoaaaaa hold on..., posted by Houndog on May 6, 2001

I met and dated a bunch of girls thorugh ?cold calling? the
friend that introduced me, was my friends wife who he met at a restaurant.

Second I have never claimed that ?cold calling? is better or worse. Just a different approach. the post that started this all, was from a guy that planned on staying at TWO agencies. He was also thinking about trying to meet REGULAR non agency girls in ADDITION to not instead of.

Anything that is not an agency is not a valid approach? I guess you are just closed minded.

You can make a list from members here? No crap. You can make a list of agency successes from a board dedicated to MOB? Wow. I'm impressed.

How long have these successes lasted? You were able to convince a girl to Marry you from an agency? ANYBODY can do that. You talk about getting to the green side of the mountain? Dude, getting Married is EASY, staying Married is hard. If you think you are homefree, you are mistaken.

... in response to Re: you'll never get it, posted by Houndog on May 6, 2001

I'm not joking or even picking on you. Anybody can go south and find a wife. SDtaying Married is the trick. I'm sure you read the thread on homesickness on LWL? Culture shock etc.

If you dismiss these as trivial, you are in for trouble. When Granma goes to the hospital and she can't run down and visit. When family gets married and she can't go.

I posted examples of couples that have been together relatively long. Many of your success stories are still waiting to bring them up. Trust me that is the easy part.

... in response to Re: Re: Whoaaaaa hold on..., posted by david on May 6, 2001

Well David Thank you for being honest about it and not simply making up a list.

And as you say, you met 'socialy', women that you speak kindly of. Which is basicaly what we are saying. That a social type of setting 'of some kind' enhances 'the odds' of meeting 'marriage material type' women for the 'average guy'.

No one ever said it wasn't 'possible'to meet cold calling. We were simply trying to advise on 'the odds' for the average traveler.

Houndog

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Let's have a free lunch ..., posted by david on May 6, 2001

If you don't mind list ALL the 'met at the food/tennis court success stories' that resulted in marriage and haven't ended in divorce !

Then I will list the success stories 'just from this board' that met at or through agencies.

Real help in this venue for what is generally considered 'newbies' is about giving guys the "BEST ODDS" of meeting Sincere, Marriage Minded, Marriageble Material, Good Ladies. Generally described as having Morals, Values and Character !

Many of the vets here know that most LA Good Ladies, require some type of Formal Introduction. Most Good Ladies are traditional in that regard and do not troll/stroll for dates. Both the men and women that regulary 'troll for dates' should be viewed with healthy amounts of scepticism, simply because it's not how 'Sincere', Marriage Minded People in our society or theirs are taught to find a Long Term Commited Spouse, ie: One with Morals, Values and Character. I'm not saying trolling is immpossible or that every troller/stroller is of less than desirable character, only that the odds of those types being of less than desirable character is trmendous. And since most have limited time good advice dictates using the "odds" in your favor not against.

I think the guy said it well above....'spoken like a true predator'....."predatory" Males or Females is not what "ANY" of the men or women I know are looking for.

And some of us "Highly Reccomend" guys learn how to spot "Predatory Types" and avoid them.

Houndog

... in response to Re: List the success stories, posted by Houndog on May 6, 2001

I am not going to turn this into a personal attack, but please come out of the clouds. Just because two people meet each other while shopping is not a bad thing. And opposite to what you have heard or think, nice girls do not have to be introduced formally in S.A. I really do not know where you heard this info. But it is certainly not true. If you want to believe it or not, S.A. and A.W. can be similar in many ways. Thankfully there are some differences between them. Remember, there is nothing wrong with falling in love naturally. Meeting somebody out of chance in a daily activity, is very romantic and exciting. Agencies are hardly a natural setting to meet people. I am not putting agencies down but that are certainly not natural. I may even use an agency in the future and I have visited several in the past. Again, I will say live the moment and enjoy your life. Couples meet in many different ways.

I really can't believe this is even a discussion.

You also seem to be confused to the fact that you have to be rich to be social. This is incorrect. Really, I want you to think about it. There are many social activities that are either inexpensive or free. Human beings are social beings, it is in our nature. These ladies are the same. Being social will put a guy in a opportunity to meet people.

Houndog. I wish you and your lady a bright future. David

... in response to Re: Re: List the success stories, posted by david on May 6, 2001

In fact many women stay away from agencies if they are more "traditional". Many that do join, do not tell their families till they meet a guy and become serious. There is a stigma for the ladies as well as for the men.

I am about to post the story of how my buddy met his wife to our site. I will check and see if he is OK with my posting here. I guess romance gets left out of the equation too much.

My wife and I constantly joke about telling our kids about how we first met etc. I'm not sure I would tell my kids, "out of the 30 women I interviewed at the agency, your Mom and I hit it off, and she fit my profile".

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