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Title: Some tips Post by: Carrisse on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM After reading shadow's report, I think tips are in order to help you deal with us Pinays. Bottomline is, do not judge a book by its cover. And I don't know how many times I've been saying this but whirlwind courtships/romances usually ended up nowhere. It takes time to nurture a relationship, there are factors why a man and a woman need time to know each other---and much longer if they are from different culture.
What to expect when you're courting a Filipina: Chaperon: We do this not only to protect ourselves (from whatever bad circumstances, you just never know) but also to have a friend or a sister check the guy out. After the date, we will both expound why and why not we should see you again. Maturity: There are exceptions to this rule but most of us never mature until the age of 25. Even at this age, we would still have the baby tantrums left in us as well as baby fat (teehee). So I suggest you guys go for those who are in their late 20s or early 30s and those who have held a job or is pursuing a career. Tampo: Yeah, this is one Pinay trait that should be reckoned with. Actually, I have never had a tampo in years. And I credit that to my hubby who never tires to draw me out whenever I am in one of my tampo moods. Money: Hello poverty. Most of us lived it and is living it. The reason why we want security is that we are tired of being poor. A man who can provide for us and make our lives a little bit better is a plus in finding a husband. Living in America: No matter what you think guys, but most of us don't want to live here. Home is where the heart is. We are willing to uproot when love calls for it but our hearts will always be in the PI and we will always call it our home. Those who told you that they want to live here probably don't know what its like. They have no clue to the amount of homesickness and feelings of not belonging that they have to endure. Rules of Engagement: Yeah, once you guys decided to marry us we better set some rules on what you expect from us and vice-versa. Learn to compromise. Man as head of the household: You guys should learn to take charge. We feel much better if a decision is mutual and not forced. Family: We value our family but we also value our spouses and children. How many of your mahals addressed your parents as Mom and/or Dad? We easily accepted your family, so what's keeping you from accepting ours? If you can't love them the way we love your parents, then learn to co-exist with them. And accept the fact that we want to help them financially, we can never be happy knowing that we live a little bit better lives than them and not help. Bashings: Do not bash our family even if you have a hundred million reasons why you should. It hurts to hear it specially coming from someone we love. Same goes with our country and Filipino men. Please, those of you who think that there are no good Pinoys in the PI that's why we married you is mistaken. It just so happens that we fell in love with men of different culture. And not all Pinays want foreign husbands, never mind those who tell you otherwise. I've dated several Pinoys when I was single and they were all fine and good, its just that they didn't ring the bells in my heart. Sex and the Filipino woman: I'm treading on dangerous ground here. Do not engage or start a sex banter with a Pinay, it would be enough to get you slapped. Most of us still have a little bit of Maria Clara in us, so watch it. Also, virginity is still common in the PI. So your mahal might be a virgin, just be careful....and yeah, give private lessons (**blush**) Accept the fact that your house will be cleaned and you will usually come home to a home cooked meal. Maaaaannn, you guys got it made! Did I forget something? Let me know. Title: just had to respond to this Post by: jim in the pis on March 31, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Some tips, posted by Carrisse on Mar 27, 2001
hi all, well we got moved to a new place in angeles and the internet got hooked up today, only a 3 week wait sir! i live in the philippines with my wife and we are expecting on june the 24th, her birthday, yea a c section. so many things you say are true, but i can honestley say, i have never been taken care of like my wife does me, she is so perfect, and tries to do everything for me, and its a great feeling! jim and joanne Title: Re: Some tips Post by: may10 on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Some tips, posted by Carrisse on Mar 27, 2001
Maybe, it's time to educate these fine gentlemen here...*s* So, let me add a few more tips. For some of us, the Maria Clara attitude is still very much present. We still believe in fairy tale romances, and believing that someone out there is that Prince Charming. We were also taught from childhood that it would be improper to make the first move towards the opposite sex. So, most filipina women wait for the gentlemen to say hello or even start a conversation. *s* Title: what is tampo? n/t Post by: logan_jiang54 on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM Title: Re: what is tampo? n/t Post by: rgg on March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to what is tampo? n/t, posted by logan_jiang54 on Mar 27, 2001
Pinoys usually interpret "tampo" as KSP (Kulang sa Pansin)...meaning, your wives need extra loving attention ... in what area? Go figure it out! :o) rgg Title: Its pouting, sulking, the cold treatment! N/T Post by: humabdos on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM Title: Re: Its pouting, sulking, the cold treatment! N/T Post by: may10 on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Its pouting, sulking, the cold treatment..., posted by humabdos on Mar 27, 2001
Tampo doesn't necessarily involve all those things. Each tampo would differ for each woman. A younger, more spoiled "girl" for example would manifest all those that you characterized. But, some would even just keep quiet. Title: Great stuff Carrisse! Post by: Jeff S on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Some tips, posted by Carrisse on Mar 27, 2001
My wife (not a Filipina but Asian) didn't get over her homesickness and desire to move back for about 10 years. Now she'd prefer living here but loves her trips back home. Also she didn't give up her tantrums til about age 40. LOL You're also right about "got it made," and I appreciate it too! -- Jeff S. Title: Re: Great stuff Carrisse! Post by: Stephen on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Great stuff Carrisse!, posted by Jeff S on Mar 27, 2001
Jeff.....Your wife is 40!!!!! I thought she was 33 years old. Carrise didn't tell you the best medicine for "tampo". It's a trip to the mall. I told her Sunday that I can't afford more than $200 worth of tampo a month. Stephen Title: Re: Re: Great stuff Carrisse! Post by: may10 on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Great stuff Carrisse!, posted by Stephen on Mar 27, 2001
I am going the other way on this...and once again showing you, guys that there are other things you can do to counter "tampo". PLUS....to teach you a new word....."LAMBING".....*s* For me....this is the best way to counter tampo..."LAMBING". It's making up to her in all the sweetest ways that you guys could ever imagine. Hugging, a kiss, cuddling....and really showing her that you understand...*s* What more, it really doesn't cost a thing. But, pls.....don't take my word for it....I may not be the best authority on the subject. Title: Not in my case. Post by: kevin on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Great stuff Carrisse!, posted by Stephen on Mar 27, 2001
With my ex, a trip to the mall was the opposite. We'd just go there to look at things or (at least my intentions anyway) by something affordable. At the spur of the moment she'd want something very expensive and want my to charge it on the credit card (terms of hundreds of $). When I'd object or resist that's when the tampo would start. Each time this episode happened, it got worse. - Kevin Title: Re: Re: Great stuff Carrisse! Post by: Jeff S on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Great stuff Carrisse!, posted by Stephen on Mar 27, 2001
Actually, she'll kill me for tattling but she turned 40 quite some time ago. I know what you mean about the mall - South Coast Plaza must be the Asian equivalent of chicken soup. -- Jeff S. Too bad we couldn't talk you into sampling the oysters :o) Title: Re: Some tips Post by: cc on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Some tips, posted by Carrisse on Mar 27, 2001
THANKS CLARISSE THIS IS GREAT!!!! "Living in America: No matter what you think guys, but most of us don't want to live here." - All too true! Every single penpal I had who married American (or European) has told me how homesick they are! One family I know actually moved back and retired in Cebu after their kids finished high school here. The girl I am dating in Baguio in fact wants me to move there rather than her coming here.... "You guys should learn to take charge. We feel much better if a decision is mutual and not forced." - Could you please clarify? Taking charge, doesn't that imply forcing a decision on someone? Title: Re: Re: Some tips Post by: Judy on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Some tips, posted by cc on Mar 27, 2001
I am going out on a limb here. I understand "taking charge" to mean making a decision and sticking with it and taking the consequences if it is a bad one and taking the credit if it is a good one. Growing up in Central PA as I was and living on my own before marrying Ed, this was the hardest lesson I had to learn. I was a bull in a china shop when there were things I wanted to do. After Ed and I married, he was at sea for six months and I had to do all of the planning and decisions for the household and was in charge. The really big plans waited when he got home. It took about ten years for me to turn on and off the "take charge" attitude. With maturity comes knowledge. Yours Judy Title: hi Judy Post by: Lori on March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM Title: Re: Re: Re: Some tips Post by: Zebson on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Some tips, posted by Judy on Mar 27, 2001
Judy, are you a Leo? Just wondering cause my fiance is and she is the exact same way (Bull in the China shop, exactly..Ha). Zeb Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Some tips Post by: Judy on March 28, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Re: Re: Some tips, posted by Zebson on Mar 27, 2001
To zebson, Nope, not a Leo. I am a Cancer,the Moonchild. Yours Judy Title: I used to.... Post by: outwest on March 27, 2001, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Some tips, posted by Carrisse on Mar 27, 2001
I used to be mad at you , but i like you now. :o))) |