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I have chatted with a young lady 27 with a 7 year old son she is now in Cebu

We chatted and made friends

She asked for no money has a good job and was not in a position to get married as she was still married to her husband in the USA and has been waiting for her divorce papers for 5 years.  
The story she tells:
It seemed that she got a fiancé visa with guy no1 who she knew for 8 months

While in the USA she said she did not love this guy and pursued and married guy no 2
She got pregnant and said her dad was dying of cancer so she went back home with her USA born son.

Her husband was suppose to process the spousal visa and started it.  Meanwhile her husband meets an AW and falls in lust, AW moves into his house and he stops all immigration paperwork.   She waits and tries to get a divorce; he is nowhere to be found.   She spends all her money on finding him and years later gets him on the phone.   She said the separation was a peaceful on and he was surprised to hear her voice but was not angry.  He said he would finally get the divorce papers and send it to her, this was in Dec 02 it is now April 03.   I know uncontested divorces can be done in less than a week when two parties agree.   He is from Arizona she is in Cebu, she understands she made bad choices but she said she was very young.  

If her husband does not come forth with the divorce papers and has no interest to pursue her spousal visa what can she do to obtain a divorce after this 5 year wait???

I would imagine that if she ever got back to the USA she could file for child support which would motivate her husband to do as little as possible and delay as much as possible.  

I was wondering if there was any past history of cases like this.  There must be many cases of women stranded in the Philippines in situations like that.  

Since the baby is born in the USA she can wait till he is 18 and have him partition his mom to come with him.   How long would that take once he is 18 and that’s 11 years from now?  Or is there another route for her to take.  

Yes, I realize you're talking specifically about Pinays and I'm not necessarily. I really know very few Filipinas, but in general, divorced women and single moms don't necessarily constitute a baggage problem. There are some real gems who will really appreciate a man willing to take care of them, amongst some with "baggage." I think your hit rate of real sweeties could be just as good or better than among the very young.

This one Peter came across strikes me as the baggage type though.

Just my 2 cents worth.

- Jeff

I found that most AW's, even with their own children, looked at my kids as a liability. I personally thought of them as my biggest asset and love them dearly. I took an early retirement, passing up a promotion and losing tens of thousands of dollars per year, just so I could be there for them while they are growing up. I felt that was the least they deserved after being abandoned by their mother. I believed that an intelligent woman would consider the fact that I was raising them alone as a single father, to be a testament to my character, devotion to family, and stability. It didn't happen until I met my Filipina wife. While initially, she would have preferred a never married man without children, she saw beneath the surface, unlike some narrow-minded AW's and Filipinas.

Dave H.

When you look at the picture as painted by Peter, you can only come to one valid conclusion about this young lady.

I agree with what you are saying but I do not believe that this lady meet your criteria.  I am sure that she could have learned from her mistakes and could be an excellent candidate for marriage but is not worth the chance since there are so many young ladies available.

I think that the most important thing is for Peter to take a close look at himself and to do some self analysis as to why he is attracted to her.  Maybe he has an underlying gizmo that needs to be analyzed so that he can make good choices in life or this lady could be a good choice but it is very risky.

Good luck to both of them

Alvin1

Don't remember saying that, just wanted to ask a few questions and tell the story she related to me.  I was surprised that she told me the whole story.  She could have lied a bit and made it sound so she was more of a victim but she didn't.  It was another love me for what I am thing.

Anyway here is a woman who can't get married or get a fiance visa and has to wait till her son is 21 till he can get her States Side.  

I did see her on web cam and she was very attractive, way above average in personality and looks.  Leave no stone unturned.

The quest goes on

This lady doesn't have a good track record! Possibly even looking for someone to bring her over so she can get back together with whatever the man's number was...the guy that regected her. Many more wonderful ladies available without problems or bad motives.

Dave H.

http://www.planet-love.com/wwwboard/asian/messages/40405.html

My comments were generically about married women and in response to Greg's comments. I'm sure glad I didn't run because of my wife's "baggage," a really sweet 8 year old girl who's now a college graduate, just as sweet, and still calls me "Daddy."

- Jeff

I know these are different circumstances and what I am trying to expresses is that children are children and they need to be spared the agony of a bad marriage or relationship.

I was an orphan and I love my grandfather and uncle who rasied me dearly and as much as my father if he had not died when I was young.  I do not think that I would have been successful if I had been raised by my father becasue he was too easy going and I was a lazy kid who left to his own would not have finished elementary school.  So I know how your daughter feels about you because I am in her position.

Because I was an orphan and I know what it means to be homeless at a young age, I am arranging an adoption for a local couple who desperately want to adopt a child from Asia.

Good luck
Alvin1

Anyway. you're obviously a lucky guy, in spite of the bad luck life has sometimes handed you, a person able to turn bad luck into good.

Good luck to you as well,

Jeff

Ray

Good post Greg,
Right to the point, pulling no punches, bulls eye.
Not worth the Headaches   why get involved with Filipinas carrying around Baggage??
Guys should seek a better woman abroad than whets available in America, not someone the same or worst. Guys should search for a single, never married childless Filipina

You know by chatting with them you can learn what had happened in the past.  They were single with no children once, young and innocent.  What happened??  What went wrong?
What is there to watch out for?  Not every on of them are scammers and not every one of them are for me, but every one of them is my teacher.  Not all of us are lucky on the first try, some are.  Knowledge is power, I remember less than 5 months ago I knew less than nothing.  I did not have the benefit of this Forum to advise me.  I was scammed out of $100 and I was embarrassed about it.  It started a quest to know more of all the factors of Filipinas. It is really a heartbreaking story of each girl coming with similar problems and choosing different paths. The same questions are asked over and over with new guys.  But I am so much older, why does she think I am rich?  She asked me for money on the 3rd email.  She has never asked me for money and I want to help her but she won't let me. When I finally got to meet her she didn't look like her picture.  When we met she hardly spoke and was shy but later that night she text me so many messages I couldn't keep up.
Some of these gals after chatting with me broke down and cried when I ask them if they had any children.  They didn’t lie and said yes I have a son or daughter and now they said you won’t talk to me any more right?
Some who had kids just wanted to chat with someone and had good jobs and never ask for anything.  One that I met in Cebu that had a 5 year old son wanted me to buy everything in the store and 2 of everything.
What I forget is that I am 60 in December, I am limited with the women that will be serious with me here in the USA.  Yes I probably could get more chances than most owning a Karate school but still limited.  I did not leave out anything in my quest for a good wife.  I was content at my age to marry someone with a 5 or 7 year old child.  It would eliminate a lot of the will I have children questions.   Some of these women were quality smart pretty and held good jobs.   Could I get a 25 or 27 year old women to commit and be loyal to me at age 60 here in the USA??  But in the end it if all the options are on the table you will go for the one that you know is the one, the gale who makes you feel like a million bucks when you are with her.  So in my quest I met a gal I thought was at least 23 and later found out was really 19 I am worried of her young age and my age.  If we are both special it will work.  Any time I chat I will unconsciously compare her to all the ones I have emailed chatted with and visited face to face.   If she passes that test I know it must be something special.  

Most prefer men close to their own age.  There are certainly exceptions.  They all want to improve their life style and this is natural and you do not want someone who does not want a good life style.

Someone in their 20's is young enough to be your grand daughter.  They have a saying in the RP: Marry an old man so that you will still be young when he dies and you can then marry who you want to marry in the US.

Good luck with your search.

Alvin1

I would like to know from you how this 20 year old girl could if she wanted to scam me once married and in the US?

If she runs away it is not really scamming is it?

The rewards are worth the risk

Remember I did see quite a number of older women while in the PI.  This meeting was by chance and I thought she was older than her age at the time.  

I quickly compared her to the others and we had a natural attraction to each other.  

Remember he parents were 30 years apart with her mother being younger and very much in love with her dad.

When I die I would wish her luck in finding another man who will be kind and have a good heart any age.

Yes most prefer men their own age, and as you know that is no guarantee of a successful marriage.

I have never been married so I can't picture her as my granddaughter.  Just someone who will be active with me as I still have a very active life style.

The mention of the word granddaughter is an attempt to show that this is immoral in some way otherwise why mention it? It doesn’t work coz the attraction is there.  We enjoy being with each other and there are couples in my town who have done what I am attempting to do.

I am aware of the risk but what isn't  

Da older ones want to mold me.

The younger ones will ride the bike for hours with me go sailing for days and help in my Tae Bo classes.

The older ones will want to go for a drive grow plants on da boat and go to Tae Bo to get in shape

Oh decisions, decisions

I have to agree! Why swim with the sharks when you can swim and play with the dolphins? Sharks bite...that is all I need to know. If anyone wants to save something...it's less headaches and heartaches to save the whales. ;o)))

Dave H.

I have been swimming with the sharks for  years in my MA school.  Lots of divorced with kids women right here.  But i agree with your point of view, I'm getting our of the water and look for dolphins.

I think the Chargers made a BIG mistake. We are going to miss Junior in San Diego.

Ray

...I grew up in those Orange Bowl seats too...dreaming I was wearing the #39 jersey. :o)

Dave H.

We appreciate the gift! I will see Junior play, as I usually make it to a few games every year. I will probably see him around town and tell him you said hi. :o)))

Dave H.

Where do you find these women? The best advice I can offer is to call Jerry Springer. He may fly her over for the show. Then she can persue her husband and obtain a divorce and child support. Life is stranger than fiction!

Dave H.

Damn, i found them in filipinaheart if you care to check it.  On their chat line and transfered to yahoo chat.  It was a sad story of how she spent years and her savings to find her abandaning husbad and call him.
It shows the weakpoint of the system and how helpless the women are once they are back in the Philippines even if married. Relax guys i am still single
Jerry wouldn't want srories where the audiance cries anyway.
I bet this is a true story repeated many more times.  No one has checked how many casses like this are out there.  You can't blame them all on the women.

I will pass on Filipinaheart! I don't know any Filipinas who have money in savings, so she must be one of the fortunate few. Well, at least she had enough money left to post her story and chat on the Internet. It seems like she has found the 'weakpoint' in American men...

Dave H.

Quit trying to rescue damsels in distress! That's the stuff fairy tales are made of, not real life.

That or take Ray's advice and start carrying a picture of your right hand around in your wallet.

Sorry about being so blunt.

- Jeff

Please explain dat?

Otherwise it was good advice, thanks.

- Jeff

NOW DATS FUNNY
I GET IT
HAHAHAHA

Peter, why don't you hire an attorney for her, contact her husband, and tell him you will pay for everything if he signs the documents. She will have to waive all rights to spousal support and child support (if that's possible). Even then, the guy will probably just laugh at you. As long as she is in the Phils, he gets to keep his money.

She will have to find some dumb-ass sucker to bail her out of her legal problems or she will be waiting a lot longer to come over here. The kid can’t petition mommy until he is 21, not 18.

Quit listening to these silly-ass sob stories and buy yourself a blow-up doll and a jar of Vaseline. You’ll save a ton of money that way! :-)

Ray

I like to suggest the 'Ron Jeremy' model blow-up doll. Just bend over and take 12 inches up the ol' wazooo! =8oO

Dave H.

I am not personally involved with her and have no intentions of doing so.   But it was a lesson for any readers for what can happen with this poor guy no 1 who pulled the papers for fiancé visa.  Here is a case of after the fact and the ended result when things go bad.  Guy no 2 must have had second thoughts about the marriage after she went back to the PI.  But remember I ask last week about what happens if you bring her over with a fiancé visa and she runs away.  I was told she could stay here any way.  This one didn't and she paid for her mistake.  
It seems that if you marry in the PI and later have second thoughts and change your mind about bringing her to the USA she would be stranded in that case also.   It seemed when I was in the Consulate in Cebu there was a lot of stranded ladies with all kinds of stories to tell.   They were married and could not come over without hubby processing the spousal paper work.  Have you found that to be true?  I know that knowledge is power and so far it has kept me out of trouble.

I love listening to those silly ass sob stories coz it is real life and mistakes that changed and affected lives.

About the blow up doll, I would appreciate a web address to find a nice one.  Since you seem to have knowledge of these kinds of things you could lead me in the right direction. Directions on how you use it in detail would be held with trembling anticipation. I wasn't to sure what to do with the Vaseline but I can get it at any drug store.  It would be interesting on how much money you have saved with this system.  I could use a ton of money! lol

There is a powerful gift that only we humans possess and that is that we can say "what if" it can get us out of a lot of jams.  

Hey Ray!!!  Thanks for your input

Good luck in your quest.  Jean started posting her site again today, look at it and see what you think.

Alvin

Good luck in your quest.  Jean started posting her site again today, look at it and see what you think.

Alvin

First, if she came here on a fiancee visa, she must marry the petitioner within 90 days or leave the country immediately. If she doesn’t marry and stays, she is ILLEGAL. If she marries someone else and stays, she is ILLEGAL. She knew if she left the country she wouldn’t be able to get back in because she was ILLEGAL.

Of course we can never know the whole truth from hearing one side, but I think she’s telling you a fake sob story. Here’s another more plausible version to consider.

Stranded Girl falls in love with Guy-1, but Guy-1 is a cheap ass and won’t bother to file for a visa and marry her. All Guy-1 wants is to get into her young hot panties. She tries to think of a way to get a visa so she can go visit Guy-1. She is turned down for a visitor visa 3 times.

Then she meets Guy-2 on line and Guy-2 falls head-over-penis for her. He flies to the Phils, gets a whiff of her scent, and proposes. Guy-2 files for a fiancee visa and she flies in to meet him. After a few hours with Guy-2, she phones Guy-1 and tells him her panties are all wet and she can’t wait to see him. Since Guy-1 lives across town, he beats ass over there and swoops her away.

Guy-1 cannot resist her charms so he finally marries her. When they try to file for AOS, she is told that there is no way that she will be allowed to stay after marrying the wrong guy on a fiancee visa. Stranded Girl stays anyway (ILLEGALLY) and eventually gets knocked up by Guy-1 and has a baby. Guy-1 gets tired of her crap and kicks her out. She gets picked up and turned over to INS because her visa has long expired. They deport her ass back to the Phils.

Now Stranded Girl is stuck. How can she ever get back to the States. Guy-2 ain’t gona bring her back here because she will divorce his ass and take everything he owns, even the vacuum cleaner. Then she meets Peter on-line. She tells Peter a real sad story and tries to sucker him into helping her. If only she can find some sucker to pay for her divorce, then Guy-3, who she has been corresponding with, will marry her and bring her back to America. Fortunately for Peter, the guys at P-L beat him over the head and he wakes up.

Ray

I like your story better, especially about the hot panties.

I knew that when she jumped ship and married someone other than the name on her fiance visa she was in trouble.

I get this feeling that anyone who would visit her may get more than just holding hands in da mall lol

                                        joemc  Dr.Ruth

......and then Stranded Girl says to Peter "Hello, sailor, maybe you like help nice girl who has problem?" Only this time, Peter's been on liberty in that port once before and now he knows the score (we hope).

Libery, Port, score?????

When i send her money should it be Western Union?? LOL

The proper line would be something like: "Hey fly boy, you need air-start?" :-)

Ray

You had me worried! I thought you might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. ;o)))

There are men in Western countries that are married or engaged to Filipinas that have no desire or intention of bringing them over, for various reasons...planning to retire soon in the Philippines, divorce and child custody laws that favor women, girlfriend or wife in home country, not wanting her to become 'Americanized'... I know of an American lawyer (East Coast - not Stephen) ;o)) who I am certain is playing a game with his Filipina "fiancee" and his child. He said it is too expensive (???) to pursue a spousal or fiancee visa and that he will retire and live in the Philippines in 5 years or so. He has made regular trips (I suspect 'business trips')every few months, over the past few years to visit them. (seems more expensive to me)

Dave H.

A nice cheap, relaxing, tropical vacation out of NYC every few months and some loyal, hot, young putang waiting as you get off the plane...it helps those PAL flights go smoothly. Especially when you're flying First Class and hanging out in the Mabuhay Lounge. Much better than hanging out in the US with the nagging 'old lady.'

Dave H.

So should i try it?

Some of em can't even get married coz they cant get a divorce.

They can't get to the US either!

might be better that the blowup doll LOL

Steveb

Well maybe i am, and maybe i am looking for what red flags look like and how they originate.  

Maybe I am gaining knowledge for future problems.

Maybe I want to see what happens in the worst cases and what was done about it.

Maybe I realize for me to make decissions that can change my whole life the more knowledge the better.

The old Russian saying trust but varify is what got me to find out just how simple my gf was.

With this boards advice I found out things I would not have found out till to late.

Many have gone though what I have and will never post it.

Now if we could find a producer???

Do you want to be my manager?

Ray

Steveb