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GoodWife / Planet-Love Archives => Threads started in 2003 => Topic started by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM



Title: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
I am split between my love for her and the need to get away as fast as possible.
I was really expecting that the fees charged to her was the same she quoted me.  It was no so, now I don’t know what to do.
I called the school in Cebu the Concord Tech Inst. talked to Mrs Psomas who knows my fiancé personally.   Says she was an outstanding student and my fiancé had asked her for advice about if she should marry her fiancé me, in the Philippines or the US.  Her advice was that she did not know coz things have changed so much since she was married.  Mrs. Psomas was married to an American and married in the Philippines but she is widowed coz her husband died of lung cancer.  She advised me not to ever smoke.   She asked if I was the fiancé and I said yes.  She then gave my fiancé high marks on how she carried herself compared to other ladies who attended there in the past.  [The school was mostly men].  She said my fiancé was an outstanding student.   She said she could use this course for hotel motel work in the future not just Cruise ships.  I was lucky to get her right on the phone as she knew my fiancé personally.  I told her that I wanted to pay back the tuition my fiancé paid the school.  I asked how much tuition was per semester and it was 3,600 pesos per semester and a two year course.   How much was graduation 560 pesos this is the 1st red flag coz I was told a different higher fee with a list that exceeded 5,000 pesos.  Next I asked about the phase III part of the course that my fiancé did not take yet, how much was it.  Mrs. Psamos was not sure to the penny but it was under 10,000 pesos for everything.  2nd Red Flag.   I was told 48,000 pesos, what I don’t understand is that if we were to be married this course would not have to be taken.   Only if we were not to be married would she take the course so why inflate the price so much.   Was it so that it looked like I saved that much more money by not having to pay this amount?  I am completely confused on this one.   If this was a scam then it was a stupid scam?  What was it?  When I said that we don’t need to do this phase III as it is too expensive and we were to be married in July she said ok and changed the subject.   There was no hounding to try to get me to pay the 48,000 peso.   I had paid around $580 since January for what I thought was just tuition and expenses.  So everything was inflated by [2] I figure that $350 was legitimate, she still has over $115 so I figure there is $115 not accounted for.  She is in Mindanao now and I have a date to speak with her on her time Wed and 11am.  In my mind right now marriage is off, the engagement was mainly so we would promise to just isolate and concentrate on each other.  I have been lied to and money taken under false pretenses.  I am afraid to talk to her coz when she talks to me my heart melts.  I would rather have a broken heart than be used.  But the whole thing is confusing to me.   I am sinking fast and need a life raft, help.   She mainly chatted on yahoo with me and did not send many emails.  But I copied all the chats we had and filed them.  I will add on here the parts were she asked for money.

Her name is changed
peterlee7772000 (9:17:17 PM): You are almost graduating from school
peterlee7772000 (9:17:22 PM): in a week
ana (9:16:10 PM): wat babe
ana (9:16:20 PM): yees babe
ana (9:16:35 PM): yes
ana (9:16:47 PM): next week
peterlee7772000 (9:18:08 PM): and you have not yet told me how much you need for your next expenses
ana (9:17:11 PM): babbe
ana (9:17:18 PM): you
peterlee7772000 (9:18:44 PM): please tell me ok
ana (9:17:42 PM): i already ask my instructore then i found out
peterlee7772000 (9:19:07 PM): good now you can tell me
ana (9:18:12 PM): that is so expensive my dear
peterlee7772000 (9:19:43 PM): would you tell me already
ana (9:18:39 PM): and im worreid about your situation babe
peterlee7772000 (9:20:23 PM): do i have to go on my knees and beg you
ana (9:19:16 PM): you are working w/ur bad hip to earned money ,right babe
peterlee7772000 (9:20:30 PM): please tell me
ana (9:19:32 PM): ok
peterlee7772000 (9:20:54 PM): good
ana (9:20:00 PM): its almost 48,000
ana (9:20:07 PM): all in all
peterlee7772000 (9:21:57 PM): is that for the 2 months?
ana (9:21:02 PM): if youn want i can just work then if i can earned the money i study ,babe
ana (9:21:16 PM): babbe
ana (9:21:23 PM): tell me about it ok
peterlee7772000 (9:22:44 PM): Maricel i am very confused now
ana (9:22:03 PM): coz im so worreid about you my dear
ana (9:22:29 PM): you i dont want to bottered you about these so tell me
peterlee7772000 (9:24:19 PM): Please can you explain the tuition in detail for me so i can understand it. Last time we talked you had 2 more months to go to a different school.
ana (9:23:08 PM): on wat is your comment coz its so expensive i know,
ana (9:23:22 PM): yesssssssss
ana (9:23:52 PM): solas,
ana (9:23:56 PM): pssr
peterlee7772000 (9:25:21 PM): So is this 2 month school 48,000 pesos?
ana (9:24:09 PM): fire fighting
ana (9:24:45 PM): babe
peterlee7772000 (9:26:12 PM): May I ask you something
ana (9:25:00 PM): yesssssssssssss
ana (9:25:12 PM): but not include my
ana (9:25:18 PM): yees
ana (9:25:23 PM): wat is that
peterlee7772000 (9:26:55 PM): If you didn't know me how would you or your Aunt or Dad pay for that?
ana (9:26:08 PM): babe
peterlee7772000 (9:27:35 PM): yes dear?
ana (9:26:30 PM): ok
peterlee7772000 (9:27:53 PM): what
ana (9:26:48 PM): the situation is goes like these
peterlee7772000 (9:28:06 PM): ok
ana (9:28:20 PM): i just study 1st my aunt and my dad well pay 4bit then after that i well [pay my ante when i got job on board ship
peterlee7772000 (9:29:56 PM): ok i understand
peterlee7772000 (9:30:23 PM): but the tuition is almost as much as a Hectar of land your dad owns
ana (9:29:53 PM): coz the husband of my ante well help me coz he know im a goo girl
peterlee7772000 (9:31:31 PM): ok i understand
peterlee7772000 (9:31:42 PM): can i ask you something
ana (9:30:36 PM): yes as wat ive said its so expensive
peterlee7772000 (9:32:01 PM): i know it is very expensive
peterlee7772000 (9:32:09 PM): may i ask you something
ana (9:31:15 PM): when i know it my shouck too really i never expect to hear that
ana (9:31:35 PM): yeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssss
peterlee7772000 (9:33:10 PM): Are we going to get married in July?
ana (9:32:45 PM): its up to you if you dont like then what should i do/
peterlee7772000 (9:34:26 PM): I want you to be my wife
ana (9:33:21 PM): i can do nothing
peterlee7772000 (9:35:19 PM): we have plans to get married right?
ana (9:34:10 PM): but i know untell now you are confused then you should choose wisely among us ok
peterlee7772000 (9:35:23 PM): in July
ana (9:34:21 PM): thjen
peterlee7772000 (9:36:07 PM): so we can talk freely now of what you want to do
ana (9:34:50 PM): you want to back out////////////
peterlee7772000 (9:36:14 PM): Never

Graduation fees
peterpan: so you can do that but don't do it all the time only when you really need to know
ana: ok
peterpan: i put in it $80
ana: ok
ana: babe
ana: i know
ana: ehae
ana: babe
peterpan: dats about 4,000
ana: ok
peterpan: how much more will you need babe
ana: ok
peterpan: what ok ?
ana: as wat i tell u b4 abbe
peterpan: how much more
peterpan: tell me again please i didn't understand on the phone ok
ana: 6,000 above babe
ana: then e
ana: 4 the
ana: reculection babe
ana: 2,000
peterpan: that will total overt 10,000 is that right
ana: babe
ana: ok
ana: babe
ana: babe
ana: ok
peterpan: ok
ana: sssssssssssssoooooooooooo
ana: babe
peterpan: i was looking at my watch and the date
ana: yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy babe
peterpan: I get paid here first week in March
ana: r u sleepy babe
peterpan: not now
ana: wat u mean babe
peterpan: i mean i will not have money for one more week when i get paid
peterpan: Next week is the closing for the house too
ana: .... babe wat u r drinjkking
peterpan: vodka
ana: ooooooooooooh dard drink babe
peterpan: what ?
ana: lesing kane
peterpan: what are you saying
peterpan: I don't know Bisya
ana: hi babe i got lose sorry babe
ana: babe
ana: wer r you babe
peterpan: i thought you got mad at me
ana: no i got lose babe
ana: sorry
ana: babe
peterpan: it is ok
maricelbandiana: babe wer is ur web cam babe
ana: view it pls babe
peterpan: it is on babe
ana: ok
peterpan: can u see my funny face hehehe
ana: view it again babe
ana: plss
peterpan: now u can c me?
ana: ok i can see u now babe
peterpan: ok good
ana: look good ha when yuo smile heheheheheh
ana: so babe
peterpan: i was teaching in the collage again today
peterpan: to make the extra money
ana: when u ganna send the money babe
ana: i used that b4 march 7 babe
ana: 4 reculection babe
peterpan: it will be the first week in March
ana: 4 graduation babe
peterpan: you will have it before march 7 for sure
peterpan: it is exciting that you graduate
peterpan: what is reculection
ana: my graduation is b--44 marhc 20 i know that today thy change it babe
peterpan: ya it was 29th
ana: reculection is a kind of simennar 4 the students to be graduate babe
peterpan: ic
ana: thy change 2 b4 20 babe
ana: its earlyier babe
peterpan: ok
ana: sounds good babe
peterpan: will u be able to list all the expenses later
ana: i can list it now babe
peterpan: ok good
ana: as wat ive said
ana: 2,000 4 shoes
ana: 1,500 4 toga or graduation cloth
ana: 7,00 4 the food
ana: 2,000 4 reculection
ana: and another 1,800 4 preparing all like deploma transcreip of record and other re
ana: and other requirements babe
peterpan: is that it?
ana: used 4 shooling in up grading course as wat i tell you b 4 babe
peterpan: is the food on the list just 700?
ana: and i have 2 buy also a cap babe 4 graduation 2 babe
ana: yes
ana: babe
peterpan: ok list it all for me babe
ana: and im stell buying a medice everyday babe
peterpan: how much is the cap
ana: and my allawance too babe
peterpan: please list it all cap medicine
peterpan: continue
ana: my instructor canvas it 900
peterpan: cap? how much for the cap
ana: i spent 180 4 medicine everyday babe
peterpan: ok on the medicine
ana: cap 900 awhite one special 4 steward deprtment like me babe
peterpan: sounds good
ana: 900 cap
peterpan: what is your allowance babe:?
ana: my fare everyday babe and my snacks babe
ana: at school ok
peterpan: sounds good
peterpan: i am hungry
ana: wat good babe
peterpan: the snacks
ana: ok wait i coke 4 you babe
ana: ok
peterpan: ok heheh
ana: ill do that wait
ana: ahhahahhhahhhhhh
ana: like it babe
peterpan: so what is the allowanc babe tell me
ana: wat food babe
ana: salad
peterpan: bulard
ana: yeesssssssss
peterpan: no
ana: thats exciting babe
peterpan: i can't believe it
ana: bulad
ana: wat
ana: babe
peterpan: will you tell me your allowance please
ana: the
ana: tell me babe pls
ana: wat babe
peterpan: no you tell me you gotta add it up
peterpan: snaks and fair
peterpan: email
ana: wat u mean i dont understand
peterpan: How much is your allowance add up to for the month for the snakes coke and car fare
ana: babe
peterpan: yes dear
ana: 2;000, babe
peterpan: dat is good
peterpan: i will add it all up later and send it next week when the money comes in
ana: soo how much alll babe
peterpan: ???????
peterpan: did you add it up
ana: no babe pls add it babe
peterpan: Ok
ana: ok how much all babe
peterpan: what about your medicine how much left to buy?
peterpan: how many days
ana: 7 days more to drink babe 180 pre day how much babe
peterpan: 13,060 total or 251 dollars
ana: how much it all babe
peterpan: i have to send you 171 dollars more
ana: all in all babe
peterpan: total 13,060
peterpan: can i ask you a question babe?
ana: ok babe wat is that
ana: tell me
peterpan: total of what i payed this month and next month is about 23,000 pesos
peterpan: how could your parents and aunty afford that ?
peterpan: if i didn't help you
ana: no last sem less of expencies im not a graduating at that time babe and my mom send me money and antey 4 the rest babe
ana: so my mom and ant help that babe
peterpan: ok
peterpan: so i will call you when the money is sent
ana: babe
peterpan: ok we back another computer fart
peterpan: i will call you when money is sent
peterpan: i will try to have it all before the 7th
ana: i earned money then i planed to study then aunty offer me that i can live on their house but i work when i have no class babe
ana: babe
peterpan: ok
peterpan: and now
maricelbandiana: b 4 sometimes im always late at school coz i have alots of work to do
peterpan: but now that i am helping will you have to work so hard babe
ana: i always missed my assignedments babe
ana: coz im the one who clean the house babe
peterpan: I know



Title: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Matthew on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

Well, at least the lady at the school gave her high marks on how she conducted herself and said she was an outstanding student.Maybe she is not quite the barricuda she is being made out to be on this board.

Seriously,dude,I think it is all about the age thing.Having a bank account,let alone having money in it,is making her like a kid in a candy store.It's almost human nature.She is very young.That is what you need to think about if you pursue this.

tito Matt



Title: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Matthew on Mar 24, 2003

Hello Matthew
I have taken that into consideration and i am soft for her that is why i needed everybody to give an opinion.  There is not a pattern of pure evil intent here.  It seems more like you said, young and candy store.  But i didn't intend to give her extra money.  Just enough for the tuition, she just inflated the tuition to get to the candy store.  It was the 48,000 that was the big red flag.


Title: Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Mita on March 25, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

I think it wasn't all the young lady too. She's too young to be making all those decisions by herself.  The family seems to be manipulating you through her.  She's just a pawn.


Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Peter Lee on March 25, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Mita on Mar 25, 2003

I am sure it is the Aunt

the thing now is how to deal with it?



Title: It Ain't Always Easy!
Post by: Dave H on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Matthew on Mar 24, 2003

Hi Matthew,

I can't say about Peter's fiancee, but I can concur that it is sometimes the case! I know a young Filipina, living in the Philippines, who is basically a good girl. Her family is often putting tremendous pressure on her to ask her Kano fiance for more money. She is feeling guilty about this and is starting to put her foot down with her family. She is now spending his hard earned money more wisely. It has caused fights with her family and at the same time, she feels guilt about not being a good daughter.

Dave H.



Title: Excellent points Matt! n/t
Post by: Jay on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Matthew on Mar 24, 2003

n/t


Title: Math Problem:
Post by: Ray on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

(59/2) + 7 = ________



Title: Re: Math Problem: = 36.5
Post by: Jun Encarnado74 on March 25, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Math Problem:, posted by Ray on Mar 24, 2003

nt


Title: If you ask her why she lied
Post by: outwest77 on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

[This message has been edited by outwest77]

You may hear a long drawn out explanation, and you may get blamed in the process..........................


Regardless of her explanation, though, i think its very easy to find a very good woman over there, who respects you, who is honest to you, a little bit older than her, hopefully mid 20s to early 30s. who has lived life , and who has been raised correctly, who has lived on her own for a while and who knows what it takes to earn money, and knows the value of a dollar.

I think this is merely a speedbump on your journey. Good luck to you my friend.

Whatever hapens please keep us updated. and Be sure to wear your bullet proof vest.



Title: Re: If you ask her why she lied
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to If you ask her why she lied, posted by outwest77 on Mar 24, 2003

i hear you


Title: Re: not a good girl
Post by: Esiang on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to If you ask her why she lied, posted by outwest77 on Mar 24, 2003

Hi Pete,
     So sad, it sounds to me she's not a good girl as she claims she is he..he...
     I see it was about SOLAS, I knew that my brother had it wow so shocking for 48,000.....all of those expenses she told you was really way too high, for just a shoe 2,000? yikes she's really shopping good.....
     Try to ask her how much for the cost of the wedding, I bet it's real shocking good numbers....lol....
     
     This lady I think is just looking for PAPA (Sugar Daddy)......


Title: Re: Re: not a good girl
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: not a good girl, posted by Esiang on Mar 24, 2003

Call me PAPA [stupid Daddy] I did question about those shoes and she said everyone will have new shoes.  Da!


Title: Re:good fish
Post by: Esiang on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: not a good girl, posted by Esiang on Mar 24, 2003

Sure there are plenty of fish in the sea, flocks of birds on the rise maybe not for you.......

Good Luck next time Pete, I wish you a good fish.....



Title: Re: Re:good fish
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re:good fish, posted by Esiang on Mar 24, 2003

I am a bad fisherman but this board is teaching me the basics. Don't feed the fish money hehehe


Title: Re: Re: Re:good fish
Post by: Esiang on March 25, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re:good fish, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

Dont feed the fish until it's hungry lol.....(joke)


Title: One more thought....
Post by: Stephen on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

(This is based on my recollection of your philippine experience.  If I have wrong facts, please forgive me.)

Remember how you met this young lady.  You originally wrote to a lady you thought was 22-23 years old.  When you got to Cebu and met the girl you found out that actually she was only 17 years old.  Also, you found out that Momma has been the one who was actually corresponding with you...not the daughter.   (That's deception.  Momma is a fraud.)

BUT....you're such a fine guy that Momma says she will help you because her daughter in only 17 year old.  And here the cousin comes in.

Peter....This family could have snakes in it.  Give that some thought.  A con-artist introduced you to this gal.

Stephen



Title: Re: One more thought....
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to One more thought...., posted by Stephen on Mar 24, 2003

Nice story

This is why I wanted to be different and meet first and chat later.  Dat didn't work either.



Title: Re: One more thought....
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to One more thought...., posted by Stephen on Mar 24, 2003

I was blind but now i see.

By me not holding back and telling the whole story you got a better picture to help me thanks for the input.



Title: I Agree!
Post by: Dave H on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to One more thought...., posted by Stephen on Mar 24, 2003

Hi Stephen,

I guess I should have read the older posts first today. You had already said what I was trying to say above and you did it far better!

Dave H.



Title: Oh my goodness
Post by: Michael B on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to One more thought...., posted by Stephen on Mar 24, 2003

I remember reading that case. Is this Peter the same guy? I don't want to come across as 'piling on' when a guy is down, but Peter, for your own protection: Give it up, man! Some people are just BAD and it looks like you've found a whole family of them. Don't even call for the 'explaination' she's suppossed give. If you do, she'll convince you that somehow YOU'RE the bad guy for not 'trusting' her and you'll wind up dragging this thing out until you've sent her your last nickel.


Title: Re: Oh my goodness
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Oh my goodness, posted by Michael B on Mar 24, 2003

I am getting the picture

But i have to ask  her anyway

There is no more money in the ATM and i aint gonna put any more in

I want to see what she has to say next

I need to finish this one way or the other



Title: Re: One more thought....
Post by: Jimbo on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to One more thought...., posted by Stephen on Mar 24, 2003

Good point Stephen,

That's what I was thinking.

Jim



Title: One time on yahoo
Post by: outwest77 on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

[This message has been edited by outwest77]

I was talking to this girl in manila 2 yrs ago, and had no plans to go to the phls since i did not know anyone there.
This girl was very cute sent me her pic, actually it was on mirc chat, at the time i did not know about yahoo, so i could not view a webcam on mirc,

Anyway she was very cute, etc, worked at her own shop for Tayloring i think, seemed to be smart etc, Well about a month after making plans to go see her etc, her cell phone is disconnected one day. She emails me with this long story, she was robbed, her purse was stolen , her cellphone and all her money, etc, blah blah, I tended to believe her story since, the cell phone was disconnected the next day, etc, So i felt bad for her. So i thought, hey, i like this girl she seems nice etc, Well so i thought, i would be a knight in shining armor. I emailed her and i said, i will send you some money, i thought in american terms, and said to myself hmmmmmmmmmmm 250 dollars should be enough. I proceeded to tell her that on the email that i would be emailing that amount to her, and pls dont worry yourself etc.  No protests, at all from her. In fact she said, ok here is the western union address closest to me send it to this name this address blah blah thank you thank you thank you. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm , i thought, thats strange. She certainly seems a bit overeager, and does not even offer a casual, obligatory refusal of the money.

Anyway i did not send the money, I emailed her the next day and said, Sory, i just dont feel right about it. Even though in my mind, i was more sure than not that what she was saying was true, i did not want money to come into the picture that early., She said she understood. we made plans to meet in manila in a few months and she professed her undying devotion to me every day on chat , and that she is so happy she has found a decent responsible guy, and she cant wait to see me blah blah. I fell for it.

So then, on mirc, i dont know how many of you are familiar with mirc, I knew she said a few weeks earlier that she "used to have a penpal in chicago". Anyway, we continued to chat daily etc, and one day i did a "who is" on her nickname she was using, That tells you what rooms that person is currently chatting in(sory im the suspicous type)...Well it said, #filipino, #cebu, #islandlover,,,,,

Islandlover, hmm never heard of that one, So i joined that room, Lo and Behold who is in that room, hernick......and one other name.......hernick'sGuy..........Bingo

You should have witnessed the commotion that followed......
First silence, .........then she pipes up.......i said to her.. so is this the guy from Chicago.........silence....then ....Yes......so you are playing two guys at the same time ? ......talk to him, she told the other guy.............He proceeds to tell me he knows all about her talking to me and that she is such a sweet girl etc, ...........I told him did you know she is professing her undying devotion to me every day and waiting for the day i come to see her in manila,,,,,,,yes he says.. she told me all about it, you dont underrstand her situation blah blah..........Did you know she was willing to accept 250 dollars from me just 3 days ago?.....yes he says blah blah.........Same thing with her, the oh, i am sory for blah blah.......shes a really sweet girl , etc, Then he proceeds to tell me he and her and "engaged". for that april, LOL

Needless to say that ended that. Lesson learned


Mirc and Yahoo chat are gathering places for girls who chat and play many guys at once, so i learned my lesson.



Title: Story
Post by: outwest77 on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

Peter.
Feel free to add me to your yahoo messenger, outwest7177

i will be more than happy to have a long chat with you about all my experiences in the phils, since i have been dating my gf there in manila for a year now, and i have spent 3 trips of 2 months each in the phils  this year,
I will share my insight about the phils and the personalities of the women there, Also my experiences on mirc chat, yahoo chat. Also what i have seen in the internet cafes over there while i am there. My gf in manila read your letter yesterday, while we were chatting and she had some interesting comments also.



Title: Re: Story
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Story, posted by outwest77 on Mar 24, 2003

i look forward to it i am yahoo
peterlee7772000


Title: Peter, Dump Her
Post by: greg on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

Guys go to RP seaking a much better Woman than he can find in America, not the same or worst. There are countless available Foreigners that are lookng for a good husband. You need to take your time, especailly concerning a much younger Lady. You sound like a good Guy, and you deserve a good Woman. Good Luck


Title: Re: Peter, Dump Her
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Peter, Dump Her, posted by greg on Mar 24, 2003

Thanks Greg

I never thought this would happen to me.

I thought I really found the one.

A good thing about the young ones, they haven't had a lot of practice yet and are easier to detect problems sooner.

Your right about a better gal than AW.  But remember I chose meetem first then email, not email then meetem.

This could be the end of a new beginning.




Title: My Recomendation
Post by: SteveG on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Peter, Dump Her, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

Peter,
 Some may say I am old fashioned for being so stuck on writing letters by hand, but that is the only way I would initiate contact with Filipinas.  Period.  Whether you choose chat rooms or email, they share a common trait - both are the 'easy' route to romance.  And it is this very percieved "easiness" that also works to the advantage of the gold diggers and con artists.   Chat Rooms and Emails both allow them to play more guys simultaneously with less time invested.  In my opinion the nicer girls still tend to stand back and prefer hand written letters and a more conservative pace of romance.  You can do what you like, but I personally would go so far as to recommend to the Filipinas to be cautious with the American men who are in a big rush and want to just send a few short emails or chat and aren't interested enough to spend the time to write a real letter.  A person's willingness to give their time to you is directly proportional to how much value you have to them.   OK, I'll hush before I turn this into a sermon!  :)
                                   SteveG


Title: Re: My Recomendation
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to My Recomendation, posted by SteveG on Mar 24, 2003

I too wanted to get away from the email and chats and was introduced to this i thought true pinay.  Later after we met we chatted and phoned.  Lets face it i am a bad fisherman.  I have to learn to fish better


Title: Good advice Steve! n/t
Post by: Ray on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to My Recomendation, posted by SteveG on Mar 24, 2003

n/t


Title: Next time you talk to her...........
Post by: Carr on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

Say nothing about what you found out but mention that you called her school and talked to Mrs. Psomas in detail about tuition and graduation fees.  And listen to the long silence on the other line............

Then listen to how she would squirm to get away from the truth by giving you more lies.

Here's a true story from an inter-cultural site:

The guy and his fiancee are getting married in 6 months.  One day, her fiancee called him and said that her Mom needs a surgery and her family don't have money to pay for it. He asked how much she would need for hospitalization, and she said $1,000. Well, he said that he'd see what he can do.  He called again 3 days later but before he could say anything, his fiancee thanked him for the money he sent and vowed undying love for him.  He didn't send any!  So apparently, his fiancee is playing two other guys and collecting money from them.  

Be careful out there!



Title: Re: Next time you talk to her...........
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Next time you talk to her..........., posted by Carr on Mar 24, 2003

Thanks Carr this is a tough time for me.

Your suggestion seems like a good start thanks

I have heard simmilar stories you gave but never thought it would happen to me.



Title: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: SteveG on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

Peter,
 It's hard to give a 100% infallible judgment on her just by reading this bit of Chat room talk, but it seems to me there is a lot of doubt coming from you about her honesty.   If you are having these doubts, there is something causing them to be there.   If you don't think she is honest with you and more importantly WANTS you for yourself over all others, back off and slow down.   It sure won't make your life better to marry a woman who looks at you as a ATM.   Like Jay said, there are literally thousands of women in the Philippines you could fall in love with.   Don't settle for one who doesn't want YOU.                        SteveG  


Title: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by SteveG on Mar 24, 2003

Ditto's to you!  thanks


Title: Too Bad
Post by: Bear on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

I was hoping it was family but all of that sounded like her and a lot of scooting around the questions.  Honey pointed out a lot of the things she gave you prices for were excessive and totally unnesessary.  She said that their are a lot of Filipinas who just think Kanos are stupid and believe everything they are told.  Don't tolerate lies and play on their religious beliefs.  If she is a good girl she'll feel very guilty andf try yo break up with you.  If not you have some serious problems.  If you want to stick it out with her let her know that you are angry she thinks you are stupid and that the next time she chats with you she had better have the correct costs (many of which you know already) or it quits.  Then she had better tell exactly why she lied the first time you ask then end the chat till the next time.

If you are interesterd I have a friend in Alabama who has several sisters in their 30's who believe they'll never marry because of their age.  I have seen the way she treats her husband and how her cousin treats her husband.  They have asked for introductions if I knew someone.  If they are as cute as their cousin you might find a decent wife.  Sadly though the filipina I know cries alot because her older husband doesn't want children at his age.  

Meeting Filipinas by introduction and writing more than one is where I say you should be at this point.

Bear and Honey



Title: Re: Too Bad
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Too Bad, posted by Bear on Mar 24, 2003

Yes too bad eh

I will take some of your suggestions.  I don't like to be lied too.  I have to see what she will say and do after I demand that she details all her expenses and what happened to the rest of the money.  This will take some time for me to get over it.  About introductions and meeting sounds like the next step.  I think it is to early for me to go there right now.  I feel like a stupid Kano right now at the same time pissed off.  I will after a time be open to your sugestions from Alabama.



Title: Red Flags!!!
Post by: Dave H on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

Hi Peter,

I agree with Jay! Get to the bottom of this matter ASAP! I am having a bit of trouble getting all of my brain's neurons to fire in order this morning. But it appears phase III costs, which she is not taking now, were being inflated around P38,000. OUCH!!! You said that everything else was inflated X 2. I tried to be open-minded before, but there are some very serious red flags flying that need to be accounted for. I notice she throws out a lot of "babes." It seems as if she is sweet talking you and trying to sound innocent. I wouldn't be surprised if she is being guided by family members in this money matter. You need a woman who's loyalties are with you. Good Luck my friend!

Dave H.



Title: Re: Red Flags!!!
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Red Flags!!!, posted by Dave H on Mar 24, 2003

hi Dave,

I can't see that anything that she could say at this time that would change my mind about being lied to and made look stupid.  But it would be interesting to see what she has to say and what she will do next.  Bear and Honey gave some good suggestions too.  You can't hurry love, you just have to wait!  I have a date to chat or call her on her Wed at 11am.  I have time to get it together what to ask her and see what she has to say.  

I am just sick over this and it has knocked me for a loop.



Title: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Stephen on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

PETER LEE:

I am afraid to talk to her coz when she talks to me my heart melts.

STEPHEN:

I think all of us can identify with that feeling.  BUT THAT IS NOT LOVE....IT'S INFATUATION.  I believe true lasting love can and will be honest.  

I like Jay's response.  Remember this, Peter......Jay has lives in the PHilippines for several years and has a good understanding of their mentality.  He understands things better than a lot of us do.

Just my thoughts.  I could be wrong.  Hope things work out for you.



Title: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Stephen on Mar 24, 2003

Thank, I will look at Jay's letter with your added info.


Title: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: outwest77 on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Stephen on Mar 24, 2003

I lived in the phils 6 months this year, does that make me special? :o)


Title: I think so!
Post by: Dave H on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by outwest77 on Mar 24, 2003

Hi Outwest,

I know one thing it makes you...a LUCKY guy! :o)

Dave H.



Title: Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by outwest77 on Mar 24, 2003

Sorry outwest77,
I didn't get it.  Some of us have to have it spelled out please.


Title: Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Jay on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by outwest77 on Mar 24, 2003

Hi outwest,
LMAO! I'm not special. Six months? Well, I guess it depends on how "local" you lived when you were  there. Did you drink Bud or San Miguel (the original kind, not light etc.)? ;-)

Dave H. was only there a couple of weeks and I swear I have never seen anyone so perceptive as him. He picked up on Filipino mentality like he's lived there for years. So I guess it depends on the person.

Jay



Title: Well...
Post by: Dave H on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Jay on Mar 24, 2003

Hi Jay,

Guys shouldn't feel bad about having made mistakes with Filipinas. I got very lucky! I have lived in the US my entire life and still can't figure out most AW's! ;o)))

Dave H.



Title: Re: Well...
Post by: Jay on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Well..., posted by Dave H on Mar 24, 2003

[This message has been edited by Jay]

Hi Dave,

Did I inadvertently insinuate in my post that anyone should feel bad about making mistakes with a Filipina? I hope not. Didn't mean to come across that way at all.

Jay



Title: Not At All!
Post by: Dave H on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Well..., posted by Jay on Mar 24, 2003

[This message has been edited by Dave H]

Hi Jay,

No, I didn't read it that way. I was just trying to find a place to squeeze in my post without starting a new thread. It ended up after your post. I just was trying to say something like: "Women, can't live with 'em...can't live without 'em!" There are good and bad in every bunch...but I doubt that I will really ever understand women, no matter where they are from. Lots of times they think men are nuts and feel the same way about us. We are just different creatures (Thank God!)...it's just a male-female thing. I am not making much sense...just kind of rambling. I have been up too many nights and days following the war. I've got a nephew over there.

Dave H.



Title: Re: Not At All!
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Not At All!, posted by Dave H on Mar 24, 2003

you need sleep and i need a new heart ha


Title: Re: Not At All!
Post by: Jay on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Not At All!, posted by Dave H on Mar 24, 2003

Hi Dave,

Ok, just checking. I coulden't see that in my post, but as you know, sometimes posts can be misunderstood. I feel better now. LOL!

Jay



Title: ROFLMAOCUMLTNTPIMMFP! ;o))
Post by: Dave H on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Not At All!, posted by Jay on Mar 24, 2003

[This message has been edited by Dave H]

Hi Jay,

Since when do I ever disagree with you? LOL You might put a Pinoy death lock on me! ;o))) Oh by the way...coming from you that was a big compliment! I am a humbled by it! Thanks!

Dave H.



Title: Re: ROFLMAOCUMLTNTPIMMFP! ;o))
Post by: Jay on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to ROFLMAOCUMLTNTPIMMFP!  ;o)), posted by Dave H on Mar 24, 2003

Hi Dave,

I really can't think of anything we disagree on. :-) Btw, that was a compliment well deserved!

Jay



Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Jay on Mar 24, 2003

Hey guys!

Sounds like you know something others don't.

I feel like an outsider

I am almost initiated lol

Do I get to be inside after this?



Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Jay on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fa..., posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

Hi Peter,

Outwest's reply above was just kidding about Stephen saying I know what I'm talking about because I lived in the Philippines for a while. Your not missing anything here. We're just talking about living there for extended periods of time, preferably on multiple trip's. It gives you a better sense of how to deal with the peolple there and what to watch for and what to expect. Alot of people on this board have done that. Hum, outwest and Nathan, just to mention a few.

I know your devastated, but don't give up the ship yet. talk to her first. Then decide.

Press On,
Jay



Title: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit th..., posted by Jay on Mar 24, 2003

I will talk to her first

My gut feeling is she is not bad

But all this time all my actions were to bait her to do something wrong and all along she was doing it with out me knowing it by inflating the tuition fees.  

I think the kid in the candy store is her weakness



Title: Peter.....
Post by: Stephen on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fa..., posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

I'm glad you're here also.  Thanks for sticking around.  We all help each other around here.

This may not turn out like you wanted.  But don't give up.  Just learn and go forward.  I guarentee that you're better off finding out bad news now than after you marry her.

Also, I like Bear's offer of introducing you to some ladies he knows over in the PHils.  You know, there are quite a few fine ladies in their 30's in the Phils that have not been married.  You can find a real gem there.

My wife was 37 when we married and she had never been married.  Give that some thought.

Stephen



Title: Re: Peter.....
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Peter....., posted by Stephen on Mar 24, 2003

I can't do anything now till i resolve this thing thanks


Title: I Cheated...
Post by: Dave H on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Jay on Mar 24, 2003

Hi Jay,

I'm a reincarnated Filipino. ;o)))

Dave H.



Title: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Stephen on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by outwest77 on Mar 24, 2003

It's hard to beat experience.

I mean, I could never look as good in a purple G-string as Dave H.

Know what I mean!

Stephen



Title: He he he...
Post by: Dave H on March 25, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Stephen on Mar 24, 2003

Hi Stephen,

In a purple G-string, that may be true. But I think you would look more smashing than me in a lime green one! I wish I was in the Philippines during your visit. We could go snorkling and shock our ladies. ROFLMPGSAO!

Dave H.



Title: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Jay on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Stephen on Mar 24, 2003

HI Stephen,

LOL! Thanks for the vote of confidence. I've never seen Dave IN his g-string and I pray I never will!! ;-)

Jay



Title: Soon...
Post by: Dave H on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Jay on Mar 24, 2003

Hi Jay,

When you least expect it...I will creep up on you in the dark using my stealth techniques. Then I will flash you and you will see Allah...The Moon God. =8oO

Dave H.



Title: LMMFAOCUMFLTIASMP!!!!!!!!! n/t
Post by: Jay on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Soon... , posted by Dave H on Mar 24, 2003

n/t


Title: All Right!
Post by: Ray on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to LMMFAOCUMFLTIASMP!!!!!!!!!  n/t, posted by Jay on Mar 24, 2003

Now you've got the lingo down pat Jay! SAOTFF!


Title: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Jay on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

[This message has been edited by Jay]

Hi Peter,

I can't understand all this chat too well, but I CAN see the problem here. The only thing to do now is something Filipino's aren't used to. Direct confrontation of the issue. Ask her why she lied. If your not satisfied with the answer, dump her. You can fall in love a million times in the RP. There are more fish in the sea, so to speak. To be honest Peter, in all my years of experience dealing with Filipina's, it is the young ones that take advantage most. I don't think they are old enough to understand the pain and destruction it can cause. Not harping on the age thing, just sharing my experience.

I wouldn't possibly try to suggest anyone break off thier relationship after reading a post. Not enough info and that is that person's call to make. However, if you decide to bail, I would suggest forgetting all about the chat rooms and go there and find another, more mature lady who already has experienced heartbreak and other adult life experiences. Your almost garuanteed to find "the one" using that criteria.

Best Wishes,
Jay



Title: Can I add my "Ayy-men!"?
Post by: Bob S on March 25, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Jay on Mar 24, 2003

Yeah, the too young ones of any nationality can be trouble.  Been there, done that, got the expensive T-shirt.
T_T


Title: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Jay on Mar 24, 2003

Direct confrontation is what I plan to do on Tue night, her Wed late morning.  She is in Mindanao with her mom and dad now.  I will ask her why she lied, if I am not satisfied with the answer I have no choice but to dump her. .  Like you said there are more fish in the sea.  
Thanks for sharing your experience.


Title: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: outwest77 on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by Peter Lee on Mar 24, 2003

I feel for you Peter, i dont know what to say,

Like i said, the hi, nice to meet you, will you marry me routine, is too fast , especially 8000 miiles away, thats y i am so cautious. Some guys get lucky, but the more time you take gettng to know each other the better, and like i said before, money corrupts the process, you cant tell if she wants you or the money, that should come waaaaaaaaaay wwaaaaaaaay later, in the relationship.

I am deeply sory for this sad situation my friend, i have had it hapen to me more than once,
Anything we can do, or advice we can give feel free to ask.



Title: Re: Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!
Post by: Peter Lee on March 24, 2003, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: The sh@t just hit the fan!!, posted by outwest77 on Mar 24, 2003

Thanks for the advice

I was sucked in slowly to this tuition thing

I thought it sounded pretty legit

the money confuses the issue for sure

It will be interesting to see what she has to say

Oh well!!!   As you can imagine I am devistated

Better now than later