|
Title: Japan Journal # 20 Salutations & Sumations Post by: Windmill Boy on March 16, 2003, 05:00:00 AM Acknowledgements :
-- Patrick -- for providing this forum for shared information and light hearted fun at times. Thanks for allowing me to post my adventures here. I figure I've just about run out of posting priviledges here for a while so I'll probably go back into lurk mode for the near future. Feel free to group it all together and post on the trip report page if that still exists and you want to. ====================================================================== Thanks guys for giving me motivation and information to try this endeavor. It sure was worth it ====================================================================== Thanks for giving me the time of day and putting in the effort to respond. So far so good! ====================================================================== for all of my posts except this one ha ha ha It hopefully has saved me from looking like a total dufuss somewhat. ====================================================================== for reading my story up to this point I hope I haven't bored you to tears. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * I wrote this lengthy journal (45 pages in Microsoft Works) for a multitude of reasons. 1.) Primarily for myself to reflect on years from now. 2.) Also to print up and send to my mother back in NY as she is not Computer Savey but an avid reader and she wants to know what happened more in detail. 3.) It was my turn to repay everyone here with a trip report. 4.) To chart Virgin territory here I suppose. Since there is limited information on Japan here. I figured I'd present it in detail as I saw it for anyone else luking out there and is interested. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Cost: $ 540 Airfare
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ People = very kind and very friendly I can't say enough about the Japanese people (except maybe for the people out on the street in Niigata). Though there might be some language barriers to cross to really get to know them. But I found the Japanese to be my kind of folks. I wouldn't mind immersing myself in their society for a while. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Women == over all shy and reserved but very nice and intelligent if you can find the people who want to communicate with you. Though some of them were apologetic, all of the women I arranged to see spoke good enough English with me. My trip worked out so well because I had made many arrangements to meet people in almost all of the cities I went to. otherwise I think my trip would have been a lot lonlier and frustrating. I have tried to communicate with asian women through match.com both here and in Japan with dismall resuts for getting responses. I have looked at other web sights too. many of them list very few Japanese to begin with and I am very skeptical (chicken) to try them. I have had the most luck meeting the Japanese through the AOL international penpal board. just be yourself and don't act like a male sexual preditor and you will probably have a good chance of meeting nice people. I sure have. You will have to be patient and dilligent though to weed out the women who just want to play games thinking it is fun to try their English skills for 1 or 2 letters and lets see what responses I get. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I did not post any really racy and titilating stories because basically that did not happen on my trip. It was my goal to see a sizable portion of Japan in three weeks to get a broad overview if the country and variety. I was able to visit 11 - 12 cities in this time and maybe I have visited more of Japan than a fair amount of Japanese have. 2 or 3 days in each city was good for my purposes but it is hard to begin to get to know someone well also. I figured I would post some of the cultural nuances that caught my attention instead. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ I have been fortunate to meet "The Mighty" Miho a girl who has certainly catched my attention and is putting a considerable amount of effort into forming a good relationship with me so far also. no complaints other than our size difference and there is nothing that can be done about that ha ha ha. ============================================================================================================================================ Want to look into visiting Japan? Nothing ventured nothing gained --- take a chance. Windmill Boy Title: Re: Japan Journal # 20 Salutations & Sumations Post by: joemc on March 16, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Japan Journal # 20 Salutations & ..., posted by Windmill Boy on Mar 16, 2003
Hi Eric, well done Eric, and thanks for the cost factor. I thought you spent a ton of money on this trip. Bring on all "The Mighty" pictures please. joemc Title: Re: Japan Journal Post by: Jimbo on March 16, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Japan Journal # 20 Salutations & ..., posted by Windmill Boy on Mar 16, 2003
Hi WB, Good job and thanks! Like you said that was a real journal, not just a trip report. You'll always have the details to look up if the need arises. You've peaked my interest - some day I hope to get there too. Jim Title: Quick question for you Eric. Post by: Jeff S on March 16, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Japan Journal # 20 Salutations & ..., posted by Windmill Boy on Mar 16, 2003
Several posters have suggested that Japanese women aren't interested in gaigin unless they're in a certain socio-economic class. I've not ever gotten that impression, but it may be because my travels to Japan when I was single were business related. This meant I was usually dressed in suits and ties, I had expense accounts, and also trading company people treating me to night clubs, resturaunts, etc, so the assumption might have been made. I curious if you ever got the feeling you were being sized up economically by any of the women or their families? Or did you ever get the feeling that a wouman would or wouldn't be interested in you because of your profession? - Jeff PS: Thanks for the acknowledgement - I'm always happy to help. Title: Re: Quick question for you Eric. Post by: Windmill Boy on March 17, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Quick question for you Eric., posted by Jeff S on Mar 16, 2003
good question Jeff some thoughts... I had a couple of discussions with some girls while I was there (both in Tokyo). They told me that there are plenty of women looking to latch on to a Gajin and it was easy to find them especially in the Rypongi area (I never visited there) or else through classified ads. While I have seen personal ads from women (some of whom are whacked out of their gourds) looking for men who make 100,000's of thousands of dollars and own houses and boats and Jets. I have also seen ads (though mostly from Japanese women living in America or Asian Americans of other ethnicities) who earn a very good living ($ 100,000 +) and want to date men who earn in their socio economic level or higher which is understandable I suppose. Yes some of the women in Japan are looking for the well to do. but I think others just want the different non Japanese experience that only a Gajin can offer compared to a Japanese boyfriend. My Chinese American coworker Audrey based on her Hong Kong experiences suggested to me and I think it is relatively true that maybe 1/2 of the Japanese / Asian women are old fashioned and traditional minded while the other half are very modern and liberated keeping up with the latest trends. Age has a factor too Many Japanese women might want to test the waters in dating Gajins but maybe the younger ones would never go through with marriage due to family acceptence of the non Japanese. I think though, that as many women enter their 30's and find themselves single still or have had failed previous relationships possibly. They decide that they want to live their lives their way and date / marry forigners if they want regardless of family acceptence. By that time the families may be happy that the woman has found somebody period. It is interesting that I have had discussions with a few of the japanese women my age - 37. and they have pointed out that the new young generation 18 - 25 are very radically different from them and they don't understand many of them or relate to their culture and lifestyle. Japan has been in the slumps economically for the last 10 years or so. So maybe the women who are interested in westerners are just more realistic about finding happiness with a westerner now a days than setting their sights very high for the certain economic level. In my case concerning my profession I think most women / people were quite interested and respected what I do once I could explain what exactly a pastry chef is. While they may not like our sweet tooth styled western pastries Women still almost universally like sweets and dessert and the indulgance that surrounds the creation and consumption of them. No one ever asked me how much do you make as a pastrty Chef. I handed out 65 Business cards with my e-mail address and occupation listed. Though I got only 1 response with only 1 letter sent to me. I don't think it was due to my profession though. I just think it was too radical an idea that anyone would respond to a business card for anything else than business purposes let alone forming a casual penpal friendship. Or they were too shy to respond o not interested. Some women (like Miho) are apparently attracted to Westerners (like I am attracted almost exclusively to Asians) while others are not looking to meet Westerners but just bump into them and that is who they wind up with. As I understand it Miho is not overly close to her family so I don't think that is a major issue of acceptance should it develop to that point. I am hoping to see if Miho can visit here this summer for a week. But other than going to school here or getting married (a little to early for that) I think our best chances of spending some time togther to get to know each other better is if I try to move to Japan. I like that idea even If I never met Miho so no big issue there. I told her i'm interested un moving to Japan -- She said for how long? I said a year, 10 years, the rest of my life I don't know it depends If I like it. She seemed a little hesitant in her reply. I said Jokingly Why do you want to move here? She said yes yes yes it had been a dream of hers for a long time to live in America / abroad. I asked her why -- She said because of the many cultures that we have while Japan is 1 culture 1 mindset. Does a red flag arise - possibly but I doubt it. I think she has visited America before and she has been to Italy and maybe more places. She wants to visit Calgary and the other day she mentioned Ireland and Scotland. There is nothing wrong with wanting to try something new. She knows that I am not rich but she is not raking it in as a care giver either I would imagine. I had to work this morning and I checked my e-mail quickly when I woke up. Though I saw here online I did not have time to talk with her. But she called me this morning a few minutes later as I was shaving and we talked for 10 minutes. She also IM ed me just before I wrote this essay just to say hi quickly and that she had made a stew but she had to leave now to eat it. I'm not sure if she see's us as more than good friends for now so far. But I seem to have to be taking the lead here somewhat. As far as I can tell she hasn't had a boyfriend for the last 7 years though I think. And she seems intersted and is putting in an equal effort.
Windmill boy Title: A Few Quick Answers... Post by: Dave H on March 17, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Re: Quick question for you Eric., posted by Windmill Boy on Mar 17, 2003
Hi Eric, I pulled out the trusty old "Magic 8 Ball" this morning and asked it a few questions. Q. Does a red flag arise with Miho wanting to live in America? Q. Does Miho have a romantic interest in Eric? Just as I suspected! Good luck Mr. Windmill Boy! Dave H. Title: Fact or Myth? Post by: Dave H on March 16, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Quick question for you Eric., posted by Jeff S on Mar 16, 2003
[This message has been edited by Dave H] Hi Jeff, I was wondering the same thing. I was thinking....not all Japanese are wealthy executives. I often read about the fierce competition starting very young in Japanese schools and later in business. How mothers feel like they are failures if their children are not extremely successful or marry a top executive. I have read where many Japanese men of less means are looking overseas to find brides who will accept them. I think that many of us assume that this is fact and all of Japan is like that. But what about the common man, the guy who drives the taxi, works at the fish market, the shoe store, etc. Surely not every woman is holding out for the CEO of a major corporation. There would be a huge surplus of unmarried women in Japan. There must be many women who have less high standards. Naturally some women wish to marry their own. But, I understand that some Western gaijin are actually considered very high in status, higher than non-Japanese Asians, and much higher than "unclean workers." This is an interesting page about status among gaijin: http://www.chronicsite.com/nihon/status.html Dave H. Title: OMG! Post by: Bob S on March 18, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Fact or Myth?, posted by Dave H on Mar 16, 2003
Re: the web site, It's funny 'cuz it's true! LMAO! Title: Re: OMG! Post by: Dave H on March 18, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to OMG!, posted by Bob S on Mar 18, 2003
Hi Bob, Thanks for verifying. LOL I wasn't sure of the accuracy, but found it interesting. Dave H. Title: Windmill Boy's Japanese Adventures Post by: Dave H on March 16, 2003, 05:00:00 AM ... in response to Japan Journal # 20 Salutations & ..., posted by Windmill Boy on Mar 16, 2003
Hi Eric, Thanks! I really enjoyed your trip report. Your trip was well planned to allow you to cover much of Japan, in a short amount of time. Don't worry about Miho...these little Asian ladies grow on you! ;o))) Dave H. |