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[This message has been edited by Dave H]

Sung to the tune of Johnny River's "Secret Agent Man." Don't anyone hate me, I'm only the lyricist. :o))) All meant in good fun!

Pilipino Man (by Dave H.)

There's a man who eats rice and pork
Using fingers he has no use for a fork
With every bite he makes
another chance he takes
Odds are there won’t be any left for tomorrow

Pilipino man, Pilipino man
Kanos may take away your women, but you know they aren't hard

You work hard and all you get is blisters
Kanos come and take a way your sisters
But you don’t really care
You’ve sisters everywhere
Odds are you’ll have a new Nokia by tomorrow

Pilipino man, Pilipino man
Kanos may take away your women, but you know they aren't hard

Pilipino man, Pilipino man
Kanos may take away your women, but you know they aren't hard

Drinkinin' in the barangay one day
And then workin' in the hot sun the next day
Oh no, the Kano didn’t leave a tip
While kissing Filipina lips
Odds are you’ll utot on him tomorrow

Pilipino man, Pilipino man
Kanos may take away your women, but you know they aren't hard

Pilipino man

... in response to Song..., posted by Dave H on Feb 10, 2003

O.K. Dave, here's an oldie from Subic. This was written by a local Olongapo City band and became a classic over the years. Sing to the tune of "Ballad of the Green Berets", preferably with a Pinoy accent :-)

-----
Ballad Of Subic Bay

I joined the Navy for sixteen years,
sailing the seas that brought me here.
For sixteen years I'm running loose,
for sixteen years, I'm a Seaman deuce.

Horny sailors, all are we
for we must sail the seven seas.
One thousand miles we steamed today
to see our girls in Subic Bay.

Silver dollar on my girl's breast,
she's gone short time with Americas best.
One hundred men she laid today,
but only three in a normal way.

Take me back to my old joint,
my ship is anchored in Cubi Point.
And that girl I use to lay,
she's now the mayor of Subic Bay.

Silver dollar on my girl's breast,
an overnight, she does her best.
Of all the men that she's been with,
I'm the only one who caught that syph.

I joined the Navy; I don't like it.
Sailing the seas that brought me here.
And every time I sail away,
I long again for Subic Bay.

I long again for Subic Bay.
-----

... in response to Another Classic, posted by Ray on Feb 11, 2003

[This message has been edited by Jay]

Hi Ray,

ROTFLMAO!!! Excellent Ray. I got to write one about Angeles one day! ;-)

Jay- ex horny airman

... in response to Another Classic, posted by Ray on Feb 11, 2003

Hi Ray,

ROFLMAOCUMLTNTSIMMFP!!! How can I compete with an Olongapo City band? I will awallow my pride, lick my wounds, and write again another day. That truely is a classic! :o)))

Dave H.

... in response to Song..., posted by Dave H on Feb 10, 2003

[This message has been edited by Jay]

OK DAVE,

I know it's stupid but heres my first song. Next will be all mine.

"Cuz growin up I was never the logical one,
packed my sh1t and left home like the prodigal son
with a bottle of jack and my shotgun strapped,
I went looking for fame and yo I've never been back
filled with spite staying high as a kite,
I was dealin and stealin everything in sight
pool hustling trying to make that green,
I've been ramblin and gamblin since the age of 13"

Hey lucky I didn't sing "To all the hoe's I'be lobed bepore, who trabeled in and out my dorr............(Pinoy accent)

Jay
PS- no I'm fine, just feeling stronger every day( oops another song! LOL!)

... in response to Re: Song..., posted by Jay on Feb 10, 2003

"To all the hoe's I'be lobed bepore, who trabeled in and out my dorr............(Pinoy bisayan accent)

 he..he...he....
You should have sung this song (with bisayan accent), it would have been nice to hear this from kano guys...

lol.....

... in response to Re: Re: Song..., posted by Esiang on Feb 10, 2003

Hi Esiang,

Probably best to sing it with a Surigao accent. He he he...:oD

Dave H.

... in response to I think..., posted by Dave H on Feb 11, 2003

Sure....you should also try it with russian accent he..he..
it's gonna be nize....beri beri nize....

... in response to Re: I think..., posted by Esiang on Feb 11, 2003

Hi Esiang,

Or maybe with a German accent...vi have vays of making you laugh...words like "Fahrvergnügen" which means "the pleasure of driving!" I think that you are a lady who enjoys Fahrvergnügen...yes. Tell your husband that you must have more Fahrvergnügen! ;o)))

Dave H.

... in response to You are funny!, posted by Dave H on Feb 11, 2003

Yeah, I kick his ass just to go on for driving (joke)he..he..

Guten Mogen! to you and your wife....I'm not sure of that german spelling.....

... in response to Re: You are funny!, posted by Esiang on Feb 11, 2003

Hi Esiang,

Thanks! I think you spelled it right. :o) Your hubby better not stand in front of the car or else he will turn into a speed bump! =8oO I can't wait until my wife starts driving. =8oO I need to get a car with an automatic transmission. I am amazed at how calm my wife is when I drive. She is used to the drivers in the Philippines. There are so many crazy drivers where we live (S. FL). I can't use defensive driving or else we would be in many wrecks. I have to use "offensive driving." :o)

Dave H.

... in response to Crazy Drivers!, posted by Dave H on Feb 12, 2003

Yeah, crazy drivers in the Phils., My husband were really scared there, he..he..even up to now he's so nervous when I'm driving.....

O..oh...I won't run over my husband even if he cheated ha..ha... unlike that woman on tv(cheating case), she's bad...

I bet you have lots of cubans in S.Fl. he..he...no wonder you have to used offensive driving......

Good Luck to your wife.....Mabuhay...!

... in response to Re: Crazy Drivers!, posted by Esiang on Feb 12, 2003

[This message has been edited by Dave H]

Hi Esiang,

Lots of Cubans here...they are the good drivers! LOL You should see how some of the other nationalities drive! =8oO The worst intersection in America is about a mile from my house. No...I'm not the reason! ;o)))

Dave H.

... in response to Re: Crazy Drivers!, posted by Esiang on Feb 12, 2003

Hi Esiang,

My wife would run over me if I cheated on her, that's what she told me.  But only if she had a Mercedes!?!  So I think she'll be driving her Toyota for a long, long time :o)))

Jim

... in response to Re: Crazy wives, posted by Jimbo on Feb 12, 2003

He..he...for the love of Mercedes...

... in response to Re: Crazy wives, posted by Jimbo on Feb 12, 2003

Hi Jim,

The worse thing about getting hit by your wife in a Mercedes is the possibility of surviving and having to pay for the repairs afterwards!:oO Maybe I should have my wife drive the pickup. I can just about walk underneath it! ;o)))

Dave H.

... in response to Re: Song..., posted by Jay on Feb 10, 2003

Hey Jay,

You're a natural! I Loved It!!! Better leave the "hoe's" out! LOL I think I offended some people with with my reference to the most commonly asked question to Filipinas married to Kanos. The Rumor: "Is it true?" :o)))

Dave H.

... in response to Song..., posted by Dave H on Feb 10, 2003

It was better than my song "3 Times A Kano" ;o)))

Thanks for the laughs that you've given me,
You've driven me out of my mind.
Thank God that we've come
To the end of your trip
Now there's something I must say!

Your once, twice
Three times a Kano
Hey hey hey Joe
Yes, your once, twice
Three times a Kano
Hey hey hey Joe!
Now get on your way

Dave H.

... in response to Oh Well..., posted by Dave H on Feb 10, 2003

lol

... in response to Song..., posted by Dave H on Feb 10, 2003

[This message has been edited by Jimbo]

Secret Asian Cab (by Jim H.)

There's a man who cruises 'round the NAIA
With white Toyota cab he's up for hire
Oh, his aircon isn't cold
The fumes could kill the old
Odds are he will break down by tomorrow

Secret Asian Cab
Secret Asian Cab
They've given you a junkbox, and took your Carabao

Beware of friendly Kanos you may find
A friendly face could hide a cheapskate mind
Be careful what you say
Don't give the price away
Tell them how the meter's "broken already"

Secret Asian Cab
Secret Asian Cab
They've given you a junkbox, and took your Carabao

You're living high on Tanduay one day
Then stiffed by Kanos with no tips the next day
Oh, with Jesus on the dashboard
A P900 fare is assured
Odds are you will con one by tomorrow

Secret Asian Cab
Secret Asian Cab
They've given you a junkbox, and took your Carabao

... in response to I'm in Dave!, posted by Jimbo on Feb 10, 2003

:-O

... in response to I'm in Dave!, posted by Jimbo on Feb 10, 2003

Hi Jim,

I loved it! Butuan City Bad Boys!We have to open up a recording studio! LOL Maybe write songs for Azn Pride. My song was a little on the dirty side, but not as bad as "Dear Penis." Thanks Jeff, that one is still killing me! I'm starting work on my latest song "Nipa Hut." It should take about a half hour. LOL

Dave H.

... in response to Very Nice!!! :o))), posted by Dave H on Feb 10, 2003

[This message has been edited by Dave H]

"Nipa Hut" by Dave H.

(sing to The B52's Love Shack)

If you see a wooden sign by the side of the road that says
15 Kilometers to the... Nipa Hut! Nipa Hut yeah
I'm headin' down the mountain highway, lookin' for the karaoke hideaway
Heading for the karaoke hideaway, karaoke hideaway,
I got me a jeepney, it's as big as a whale and we're headin' on down
To the Nipa Hut
I got me a jeepney, it holds about 50
So hurry up and get on the roof

The Nipa Hut is a little old place where we sing karaoke
Nipa Hut baby, Nipa Hut bay-bee.
Karaoke baby, that's where it's at, Oo karaoke baby, that's where it's at

Sign says.. Oo...stay away fools, 'cause Tanduay rules at the Nipa Hut!
Well it's set way back in the bundok,
Just a funky old bamboo hut and I gotta get back

Mat for a mattress
Carabao on the highway
Nipa on the roof
Butiki on the wall

The Nipa Hut is a little old place where we sing together
Nipa Hut baby! Nipa Hut, that's where it's at!
Singin' and a dancin', drinkin' and a eatin', wearin' no barong
Cause it's hot as an oven
The whole hut tumalbog! The whole hut tumalbog when everybody's
Dancin' up and down and around!
Everybody's dancin', everybody's jumpin' baby!
Folks happy inside just to get down
Everybody's dancin', everybody's jumpin' baby
Funky little hut! Funky little hut!

Hop in my jeepney, it's as big as a whale and it's about to set sail!
I got me a jeepney, it holds about 50
So hurry up and get on the roof

Jump jump jump on the floor baby! Sing a little louder baby!

Jump jump jump on the floor baby! I can't hear you
The what?... Nipa roof, busted!

Nipa Hut, baby Nipa Hut!
Nipa baby, that's where it's at
Singin' and a dancin', drinkin' and a eatin' at the Nipa Hut

Dave H.

... in response to Nipa Hut, posted by Dave H on Feb 10, 2003

Hey Dave, this is a real gem!  Chris should see it - I think it would be a great theme song for the Nipa Hut board.

..and maybe I can put my "Saddam's Way" over here ;-)))

Jim

... in response to Re: Nipa Hut, posted by Jimbo on Feb 13, 2003

Hi Jim,

Maybe we can do our version of the B52's "Planet Claire" for a P-L theme song. LOL

"Planet - Love"

Ahhhahhhahhahh

She came from Planet Love... :o)))

Dave H.

... in response to Very Nice!!! :o))), posted by Dave H on Feb 10, 2003

Hi Dave,

Your song inspired me so I just had to jump in :o)

Nipa Hut - to what music?  You'll keep it clean, I know (well I hope :O)))  What's the angle - the joys of bamboo construction, charcol cooking, geckos, and big tambok lamoks?  LOL!

Jim