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Do you think one should incorporate both cultures into the wedding or do you think one should use either side (a la "My Big Fat Greek Wedding")?  Modern Chinese weddings, whether monoracial or not are already a combination, at least those done in Hong Kong, Taiwan and in western countries.  The bride and groom will be in a white dress and tux at the church, and then at the reception, the bride will change twice.  First out of her western gown and into her Chinese dress and then into an evening dress or suit (travelling clothes??).  The guy stays in his tux.  Usually the tea ceremony would be held straight after the church ceremony, and before the banquet.  What do you guys think?

... in response to Bi Cultural Weddings, posted by alumnagirl on Sep 17, 2002

It's common in Japan to have a Christian service (even though less than 5% of Japanese are Christian) held in western clothes (tux and white wedding dress) along with a Shinto service where the bride and groom change into kimonos and the priest casts out demons and performs the chanted Shinto ceremony. Usually these extravaganzas are outrageously expensive. That's why lots of Japanese just ship the whole family to Hawaii and have a simple Western ceremony - it's cheaper and more fun for the families.

In my own case I had a strictly Shinto ceremony dressed in a kimono. A female Shinto priestess, performed the service and it was culminated by the symbolic sipping of sake - three sips and you're hitched. It did not require that I say or promise anything. My wife's family had to go to a special shop in Tokyo frequented by sumo wrestlers to find a kimono big enough for me and I'm guessing it was not cheap. It was my first marriage but my wife's second. Her first was held Western style at a Christian church in Yokohama, while ours was at her family's house.

Unless you're devoutly religious where your faith prescribes a specific ritual, whatever makes you happy should be your guide. I'd say the vast majority of men really don't care. If they had an input at all, it would probably be to suggest getting married barefoot on the beach in shorts and aloha shirt. It's generally the brides who have a fantasy agenda they're hoping to recreate. I've seen this become a stressful, aggravating experience as often as it seems to fulfill the hoped for, "Prince Charming spirits her away," romantic fantasy. Just remember, Murphy's law applies to social events just as much as business situations.

- Jeff S.

... in response to Re: Bi Cultural Weddings, posted by Jeff S on Sep 18, 2002

JEFF:

the priest casts out demons

STEPHEN:

Quite often the groom finds out that not all the demons got cast out of the lady.  (LOL)

... in response to Re: Re: Bi Cultural Weddings, posted by Stephen on Sep 18, 2002

.

... in response to Bi Cultural Weddings, posted by alumnagirl on Sep 17, 2002

Personally, I think the guy should bite the bullet and let the bride decide which type of wedding that she wants to have, within reason of course. If the bride is happy with her wedding, then all the more likely it is that the marriage will be a happy one.

Also, if you are going to follow traditions, then tradition should dictate which side pays for the wedding. Who is expected to foot the bill in a traditional Chinese wedding?

Ray

... in response to Re: Bi Cultural Weddings, posted by Ray on Sep 18, 2002

as you probably know already!  But I've never heard of a Chinese Canadian groom paying for a wedding.

... in response to Bi Cultural Weddings, posted by alumnagirl on Sep 17, 2002

nt