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I am having a confused moment.I have recently received a second letter from my penpal.The problem is she did not answer questions from my previous letters.I have sent 6 letters 1/week plus one.She did not touch on any of the first three the fourth she wrote on.I have thought about it and think maybe she does not speak english very well.The question should I just ask her How well she understands english?My letters have not been long 1 or 2 pages,and I have tried to keep the sentences short and understandable.The questions I have asked are benign except for the second letter I sent her asking her if her sons father is involveed in his life.A personal question I did not expect to be answered right away.Thanks for your time.
                               Equitis

... in response to Writing penpals, posted by equitis on Jun 22, 2002

are better than NO answers.

This seems to be another of the quirks you will most likely encounter often. If you can find a penpal that will answer more than 50% of your questions, and honestly, marry her fast!!  :)

Larry.

... in response to Writing penpals, posted by equitis on Jun 22, 2002

It might be a language problem but I suspect it is more of a cultural difference. I don't claim to understand it. We might assume certain things about a dialogue, certain conversational conventions regarding give and take, question and answer. They might be thinking in terms of other conventions limiting what is appropriate to say, when, or how much.  If you really need to get certain questions answered, you can explain that and maybe highlight the questions by numbering them or something. But if you're just trying to generate a conversational give-and-take your patience will sometimes be tested.

... in response to Writing penpals, posted by equitis on Jun 22, 2002

Same question as Jeff S’s: What country is she from?

For Filipina ladies, I think the response to your questions (or the lack there of) is fairly typical. Try not to ask too many questions at a time in your letters. Ask the ones that are the most important to you and if you don’t get an answer, ask again. But trey not to overwhelm her with a lot of questions.

Some of the first questions should be “Do you have a phone number where I could call you?”, “Do you have an e-mail address?”, and “Can we chat on-line?”. DON’T ask her how well she understands English! Just try to phone her and you’ll find out real quick. But don’t be discouraged if your first phone calls don’t work out right away. Be patient and keep in mind that your “accent” and vocabulary may be hard for her to understand at first (and vice-versa).

If you can get connected with on-line chat sessions, that’s also an ideal way to ask questions and get an instant response. But again, I would not overwhelm her with a lot of personal questions right away. Take it slow and draw out the information you need from her gradually.

Ray

... in response to Typical, posted by Ray on Jun 22, 2002

Hello Ray,
  Those are some of the questions she did not answer.:-)I guess I will wait for her next letter to see if she is more forthcoming.I will also send less questions albeit the same ones :-)
     Equitis

... in response to Re: Typical, posted by equitis on Jun 24, 2002

If by some chance she happens to be from an area where she has no telephone or internet access, you can look forward to a long and complicated relationship. There are still some of those areas in the Philippines and the snail mail can be slow and often won't make it through. You're likely to get very frustrated when letters are lost or delayed and you have no other way to contact each other. If you don't believe me, ask Howard :-)

Although the rewards can be great in the long run, you just might want to consider corresponding with some other ladies that have access to modern communications. Just a thought...

Keep us informed on how things are working out with the questions and answers.

Ray

... in response to Writing penpals, posted by equitis on Jun 22, 2002

Where's she from?

-- Jeff S.

... in response to Re: Writing penpals, posted by Jeff S on Jun 22, 2002

She is from southern leyte.Also I should mention I use a mail forwarding service.So the letters originate in the Philippines.
     Equitis

... in response to Re: Re: Writing penpals, posted by equitis on Jun 22, 2002

Hi Equitis,

I think the real advantage of mail originating in the Philippines is not always speed, but that it doesn't have US post marks, which might entice someone to open it to look for valuables or to read. It only takes a couple of days for East Coast mail to travel across the entire US and reach the Philippines. The big factor in how long it takes to arrive at its destination occurs in the Philippines...where it's going, the mode of transportation, and who is handling it. I sent letters and cards, but often became frustrated when some didn't arrive. After a while, I considered them mainly evidence for INS. I used my computer to type letters, so that I could send duplicates when the need arose. The telephone was how we really communicated. I was fortunate that my wife had phone in her home. If not, I would have bought her a cellphone for talk and text messages, after we became engaged. It did take a little time for us to be as comfortable and open as we had been in our letters. Letter writing became like recounting the past telephone conversations. Email is a good way for up-to-date written conversation. Good Luck!

Dave H.

... in response to Re: Re: Writing penpals, posted by equitis on Jun 22, 2002

Just curious, is she from Tambis I? Oh, never mind...just an inside joke :-)

Ray

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Writing penpals, posted by Ray on Jun 22, 2002

Hello Ray,
   Waiting for the telling of the story of Tambis 1:-)
                      Equitis

... in response to Waiting, posted by equitis on Jun 24, 2002

Actually, if you had a chance to follow Howard's story, that's where his ex was from in Southern Leyte near St. Bernard. I just couldn't help thinking of that when you mentioned the area. Sorry I almost made Howard pee himself… :-)

Ray

... in response to Re: Waiting, posted by Ray on Jun 25, 2002

Hey Ray,

LOL I was trying to keep my mouth shut about the southern Leyte connection. You know H must have been sitting back pondering whether he knows this lady...ex-cousin, friend, or even ex-mother-in-law. 8oO At least you gave H a good "hosing!" :o)))

Dave H.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Writing penpals, posted by Ray on Jun 22, 2002

Ray,

I almost pee'd my pants!!!

Very funny Ray ;)

H

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Writing penpals, posted by Ray on Jun 22, 2002

Give my regards to Miguela.....

... in response to I know who you are referring to (LOL)......, posted by Stephen on Jun 22, 2002

:-)