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I have recently returned from a nearly 8 week visit to Kyiv, Ukraine.
I was there on a consulting assignment but, of course, since I am a man I took every opportunity to meet with the abundance of ladies available there. A business associate furnished me many names, e-mail, phone, etc., from some agency catalogs and I had many dates with interesting, charming and sexy ladies.

However, my top three ladies were found through other methods.  One was introduced by a mutual friend at a ballet, one I met at a business I was consulting with, and another I met at the elevator to my apartment building where she also lived.  This is not to say
there is a difference between ladies at agencies and those not; for each of these three ladies were also listed with other agencies.

I would appreciate some serious answers to a situation with one of the ladies.  She is what I call ‘overly attentive’ to me.  She treats me like a king.  Well, what is wrong with that you say?

Examples:
a) She insists on cooking all meals with no help from me and will not let me help even move dirty dishes to the sink area.  She does the same with all laundry tasks, household cleaning, etc.  If I mention something that I will do after visiting toilet, etc., when I return she has already done the task.  Sure this is great, but I get the
uncomfortable feeling that I have a slave in my household.  I am afraid I will grow to accept it and not be able to do anything for myself.  I know other Americans we would be around would feel I am taking advantage of this woman.

b) She watches me every second and constantly asks, “what” in terms of what do I want or need.  If I gaze around while eating she wants to know what I need, whether I do not like the food, etc.  If we are walking and I am silent for a few minutes she wants to know what is bothering me and what she can do to help.  Same when we are sitting quietly at home.

c) When I go to shower with those hand held  thingys they use, she barges right into the bath area to hold the shower handle for me.  She wants to wash me under my arms and all the other private places.  And, no, she is not doing it because I don’t do a good job myself.  She wants to comb my hair, help me shave, etc.

d) She has relentless energy in bed and is always overly concerned that I am fully satisfied, etc.  Then, when I am finally asleep, she wakes me with a kiss, saying she thinks she forgot to kiss me goodnight.

This lady is highly educated and earns a lot of money by Kyiv standards.  She obviously has a very high metabolic rate as she is a whirlwind of activity all day long at work and constantly attends to me at all times as outlined above.  Her body bears this out as she
is super slender despite eating nearly as much as me and being in her mid 40s.  She is utterly tireless at all waking hours of the day.

My question is to others who have encountered such ladies or who are such a lady themselves.  What is it like to live with such an ‘overly attentive’ lady long term?  I actually love being with this woman most of the time, and highly enjoy the attention most of the time.  But I am just worried about the long run consequences for both she
and I, and other items such as how friends will react as noted above, etc.  And, my worst fear of all; perhaps she is exhibiting some psychological behavior that will be dangerous to both of us at some future point.

... in response to Overly attentive lady, posted by Albert on Jun 8, 2004

way,many people in and around Ukraine (especially Belarus)have as a result high radiation exposure from the horrible nuclear disaster (Chebronyl)about a dozen years ago.

The story you explained is a "clone" for a lady I know who innocently has a similar thyroid disorder.She takes a medication called Cimtroid for the hyperactivity which she is totally unaware of while she is gringing away hours on end.

The "only" difference with the lady I know is that every now and then (not often) it catches up to her and she crashes into a heavy sleep so heavy a train would not wake her traveling through her bedroom.

I kinda like a lady with that kind of energy...I find it exciting verses a lazy person...

... in response to Overly attentive lady, posted by Albert on Jun 8, 2004

Well Albert, it seems like your lady could be a lot of different things.  To wit:

1) She could be naturally hyperactive and doing such things could be second nature to her.  If her metabolism is still so high for her age, there's a good chance that she won't slow down until her 60's if then.  It would also explain why she is "overly attentive".  She probably constantly feels she needs to do something.  Helping her out in the kitchen would be taking things away from her to do.  Her helping out in the shower again might simply be an extension of her hyperactive nature.  The bottom line:  Can you put up with such a person for the long term?

2) She simply could be trying too hard.  Finding a good man over there is very difficult to do when a girl is young.  When she's older, it might as well be impossible.  The lady might simply be overdoing it to strongly impress upon you that she will be the best at taking care of you.  The bottom line:  Is she going to slow down once she's sure that you have chosen her for the long haul?  If so, how much?  If not, can you endure a long term relationship with a person who pampers you and caters to your every need without feeling smothered?

3) She could be obsessive compulsive.  While it might seem good now, such people, if left untreated, turn into real basket cases.  Have you taken the time to discuss her behaviour with her?  If so, how does she feel about her actions?  Such information, in the right hands, will go a long way to diagnosing whether she needs help.

Please remember, that ladies her age were brought up to take care of their husbands and families.  Marina is almost half her age and she keeps our home spotless.  She eschews the dishwasher and prefers to wash dishes by hand.  While she does now enjoy using our vacuum cleaner, for a while she cleaned our carpets with a whisk broom or by hand!  When she's home, our cat gets a bath once a week, much to the distress of the cat!  I'm sure your lady would have been raised to be even more compulsive than that.

I think the key to that relationship is to remember that the male is supposed to be "hard".  By "hard", I mean forceful, but not abusive.  The father traditionally rules the household and the mother enforces it.  Such a man cannot appear "soft" or wishy-washy or he will lose the respect of his wife.  Offering to help out in the kitchen might appear scandalous to a lady who expects a traditional household.  I can cook in the kitchen, but woe unto me if I try to wash the dishes!  I am allowed to help out by drying though.  :-)

I hope this helps...

... in response to Overly attentive lady, posted by Albert on Jun 8, 2004

Some guys like this some don't.  Me?  I need to breathe