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My fiance had her interview at the U.S. Consulate on the 8th of this month. For some reason the interviewer ( an American woman) told my fiance' she was too young and too pretty and she would have to review our letters and she would call and let her know. She kept one of our engagement party pictures and our letters. My fiance said other people that went their were told the same day they were approved. I want to know if anybody has an idea what is going on and what I can do. I know I can ask my Senator to help me, but when exactly should I do that?

Yes, my fiance is younger and a lot hotter than me, but I think that is NORMAL in these situations. You can email me at d1684@strato.net

... in response to QUESTION ABOUT INTERVIEW!!!!PLEASE ANSWE..., posted by DavidWT on Apr 13, 2002

If she is 16 y/o,You are absolutely out of your mind.  You are marrying a child.  Your marriage will not even last a year.  Why do you want to raise a young girl to be your wife.  Excuse me for my honesty.  This is absolutely rediculous. This child would be a 2nd year high school student in the USA.

Wake up and smell the roses.  You are being used to the Nth degree.  She is too young for you even if you are over 19 y/o. She is willing to sacrafice herself just to come to the US so that she can sent her family your money.

Situation like this make American men look like stupi!! pedophiles.

Hope this is useful information!!!
Alvin

... in response to I agree with the interviewer. She is not..., posted by Alvin on Apr 15, 2002

I posted a message that if someone couldn't post an answer to my question not to bother.

Listen, you don't know me or my fiance'. You're just another anti-social misfit that likes to post "flamming"(as in homosexual) messages on BB's and NG's. I told my fiance people would probably think at first she just married me to get into the U.S.A. She replied "when I get to America, I have to ask them if they think it is Heaven or something".
This is giving up her (well off)family and friends to come and live with me. marriage is a very serious thing in Vietnam (of which you nothing having never been there obviously)and if a girl takes her vows in front of God and he entire community to be married to someone, she is serious.

You don't know much about Asian culture. In Asia it is desirable for a younger woman to marry an older man. Case in point, my fiance's mom married her husband when she was 16 and he was 36...a 20 year age difference. They are still married. She's 50 and he's 70. It's very common there. That's more than the age difference between us, which is 16 years. And no, she would be a senior in high school in America, whcich would be her 4th year. There are 4 years in High School, too bad you dropped out or you would know that. =D

It's ludicrious to assume every stereotype about Asian cultures, such as they only want to marry americans for their money, they are all over sexed, they all know karate, etc., etc., Comments like your don't belong on this board.

Please keep your narrow minded and bigoted opinions to yourself. Go to the latin board, they enjoy "flame wars".
I'll let you post a reply so you can tell me off and you can feel like a big man, because I don't have time to keep replying to your hate.
...And her visa got approved. =D

... in response to Apparently you can't read either, posted by DavidWT on Apr 18, 2002

An average 16 y/o girl is a 2nd year high school student in the US but a senior in Asia.  A 16 y/o child is not ready for marriage regardless of her origin.  I do not apologize for my response because it is true.  

If you dated a 16 y/o child in the US, what would a qualfied therapist tell you.  Write to Ann Landers and tell her your story and you will see what I am talking about.  Would you allow your 16 y/o daughter to date a 32y/o (or 40+y/o man)?

I do not want a war and will not respond further to any post regarding my comments.  My purpose was to try to get you to think about what you are doing to this child by marrying her.  A 16 y/o child is not ready for a committed relationship and needs time to mature.  This is not about age difference, it is about maturity and readiness for marriage.  Michael Douglas is married to his present wife with a 30 years age difference and people do not critize him but people would critize him if his wife was 16 y/o = he would not be able to make another movie if he committed such an amoral crime against a young naive child who is not mature enough to think for herself.

She is marrying you to escape poverty and to give her family a better life.  She may be infatuated with you but that is all her immature mind is capable of at this point in her life.

Good luck to you and your fiancee.

Alvin

... in response to I wish you and your fiancee the best of ..., posted by Alvin on Apr 21, 2002

I can’t believe that you are defending the things you said in your previous post.

Did you know that the age of consent to marry (with parental consent) is 16 in most states? How about the states where the minimum age for females is 14 or even 12 (Kansas, Massachusetts)? Did you know that some states (California, Mississippi) don’t even have a minimum age? So, why are you using terms like “amoral crime” in your post? If you disagree with someone marrying a girl who is 16, then please state your case in a logical and coherent manner, not with stupid ignorant remarks.

You as much as called this guy a stupid pedophile. Do you know what pedophilia is? Why don’t you check with the American Psychiatric Association or a reputable source and find out what the term really means before you start throwing names like that around? Maybe you’ll even learn something.

You said “Your marriage will not even last a year”. How do you know, do you have a crystal ball? You also said “She is marrying you to escape poverty and to give her family a better life”. Do you know this woman personally? How do you know that she doesn’t come from a wealthy family? You don’t know, do you? But yet you know what she is thinking?

And why do you keep harping on this 16-year-old stuff? I thought we already corrected you on that. Once again, he said his fiancée is EIGHTEEN (18), NOT 16! Please go back and read his posts again.

You also said your purpose was to try to get him to think about what he was doing? What did you expect him to do, cancel the visa and dump her just because of your remarks? It looks more like your purpose was just to stir up some crap. If you can’t express your “opinions” in a respectable manner, then maybe you should just keep them to yourself. Now why don’t you apologize to this man and his fiancée?

Just my $.02,

Ray

... in response to What’s your problem Alvin?, posted by Ray on Apr 22, 2002

Ray
David has been engaged since Februay 1999.  Read his profile.  If she is 18 now she was 15 when he became engaged to his fiancee.  David was 31 y/o old at the time of the engagement.

Good for people like David to know about the age of consent in the states that you wrote about in your post.  If his marriage does not work out, he can move to one of these states and start all over again without going to Asia to find a child-bride.  Good to know that you condone pedophilia.

I hope that David knows all the latest teen dances so that he can keep his bride happy at the disco.

You need to read Loretta Lynn's book about her early marriage days.

Good luck to David and his fiancee.

Alvin

... in response to He has been engaged for 3 years (Februar..., posted by Alvin on Apr 22, 2002

Alvin,

You said “This is not about age difference, it is about maturity and readiness for marriage”. Well, if this is not about age difference, then why are you saying things like “I hope that David knows all the latest teen dances so that he can keep his bride happy at the disco” and reminding everyone of his age? Sounds like you DO have a problem with the age difference. Make up your mind Alvin. Is this about the age difference or maturity? I think that your comment about the teen dances and some of your other comments demonstrates a possible problem with YOUR maturity level.

You also said “Good to know that you condone pedophilia”. And what, pray tell, brought you to that conclusion? Now your talking pure nonsense Alvin. I find that a rather bizarre comment coming from someone who obviously doesn’t even know what pedophilia is.

And how about your previous statement “I do not want a war and will not respond further to any post regarding my comments”. Sounds to me like you wanted a war from the start with your nasty personal attacks. And so much for your pledge of no further responses…

Now may I suggest that if you have a problem with age differences in marriage or any other issues, then why not start a fresh thread to discuss this topic in an adult manner and leave out all the unwarranted personal attacks against other members of this forum?

Ray

... in response to Apparently you can't read either, posted by DavidWT on Apr 18, 2002

lol...

good luck and happy days to you both.

... in response to I agree with the interviewer. She is not..., posted by Alvin on Apr 15, 2002

I think not Alvin.

Next time, before you start flaming a guy, I suggest that you get your facts straight. He did say that his fiancée was 18. Personally, I think your comments were way out of line.

Just my $.02,

Ray

... in response to QUESTION ABOUT INTERVIEW!!!!PLEASE ANSWE..., posted by DavidWT on Apr 13, 2002

Don't bother with the rich boys club(your senator). Try your congressman. They actually respond to your inquiries.  They also have someone there who specializes in immigration problems.

I don't remember where I heard, it but they look at really big age differences skepically. Fortunately, we only have 22 years difference.  I guess that is not too big.

Dan and Mares

... in response to Re: QUESTION ABOUT INTERVIEW!!!!PLEASE A..., posted by DanAndChed on Apr 14, 2002

Thanks, but as it turned out, she got approved Monday. (Yeah! Hooray!) There's only a 16 year age difference between me and Thi. Guess I'm not the only one on this board who's "out of his mind". LOL!

Thanx Again,

D

... in response to Re: Re: QUESTION ABOUT INTERVIEW!!!!PLEA..., posted by DavidWT on Apr 18, 2002

n/t

... in response to Re: QUESTION ABOUT INTERVIEW!!!!PLEASE A..., posted by DanAndChed on Apr 14, 2002

Hey Dan,

Senator Bob Graham of Florida may be the exception (380 workdays). http://www.senate.gov/~graham/workdays_statewide.html
I still remember the day he spent shoveling horse manure as a stable boy at Hialeah Race Track. ;o))) Some people have had good luck by contacting his office and reporting their difficulties. I believe that David lives somewhere in the wilds of Florida. ;o))

Dave H.

... in response to Florida..., posted by Dave H on Apr 14, 2002

My attemps include Sen Shelby when I lived in Alabama and Sen Allen in Virginia.  The only luck I had was when I went to my congressman in both states.

Dan

... in response to Florida..., posted by Dave H on Apr 14, 2002

Senator Graham's office [Robin in particular] was fantastic.  She was reachable by phone, often called me, kept her word, was understanding, and knew the system.

I'm a diehard Republican but will vote to keep Sen. Graham in office just so Robin will be there for those who need her!

... in response to Florida..., posted by Dave H on Apr 14, 2002

It looks pretty cool... (very small, and "oakey").  I've been thinking of moving out of this crazy ass place lately, to florida.

... in response to Yeah, I wonder if his old house is still..., posted by BrianN on Apr 15, 2002

Hi Brian,

Yeah...nice house! I used to live down the street growing up. The area was developed on the family's dairy land. If you move down here, it will be like living in the Third World...without leaving the US. SOS = Speak Only Spanish.

Dave H.

... in response to QUESTION ABOUT INTERVIEW!!!!PLEASE ANSWE..., posted by DavidWT on Apr 13, 2002

Hi David,

Sorry, I don't really know anything about the US Consolate in Vietnam. Lori's husband Thai might be able to give some insight. Embassy procedures in the Philippines are quite a bit different now. I wouldn't sweat it, since your fiancee is of legal age to marry in the US and I assume Vietnam. The review is being based on her beauty and age, not paperwork problems, so I don't see a legitimate reason to deny the visa. Maybe just trying to intimidate her. I would have her check back with the US Consolate if she doesn't get a response before the end of the month. I would also be prepared to contact Senator Graham's office.

Good Luck,

Dave H.

... in response to QUESTION ABOUT INTERVIEW!!!!PLEASE ANSWE..., posted by DavidWT on Apr 13, 2002

I wrote to several women, including her sister who was 24 at the time. Her sister wrote me back, saying she had a boyfriend, but "introduced me" via writing to the girl who would become my fiance.
When I started writing to her, she told me she was 18. I didn't know at the time she was only 16. Out of seceral people that responded, she sounded like one who wasn't a gold digger or just wanted a free trip to America.

I guess no one on this board really has any advice to give me.

... in response to If nobody has any real advice, don't bot..., posted by DavidWT on Apr 14, 2002

All you can do is wait and see what they say. Other than praying a lot I don't think there is anything you can do for now. Do you know any Vietnamese prayers? BTW how old are you? Humabdos

... in response to QUESTION ABOUT INTERVIEW!!!!PLEASE ANSWE..., posted by DavidWT on Apr 13, 2002

Did she have a letter from her mommy and daddy? ;-)
Maybe that american woman is just jealous she's not young and pretty?
Or maybe your mahal didn't handle  her self well at the interview?
It will just be a short delay more than likely.  Humabdos

... in response to How old is she?, posted by Humabdos on Apr 14, 2002

Ha Ha, she might NEED a letter from her mommy. He says that she's 18 and his profile says he's been engaged for 3 years. Of course, he could have been engaged to someone else and it didn't work out and he simply forgot to update his profile.

Not that I'm throwing stones, the Latina I'm talking to got married at 14. Her mother had it annuled, so she stayed "Union Libre" (common law) with him for the next 22 years.

--------------------------------------------------------

Gracie?

Yes, George?

I overheard you telling Mrs. Ulanzovich how long we've been married.

Yes, George?

Then I overheard you tell the other ladies how old you are.

And? So?

So do you really think they're going to beleive that I married you when you were four years old?

-----------Say goodnight, Gracie

... in response to Re: How old is she?, posted by Michael B on Apr 14, 2002

I wrote to several women, including her sister who was 24 at the time. Her sister wrote me back, saying she had a boyfriend, but "introduced me" via writing to the girl who would become my fiance.
When I started writing to her, she told me she was 18. I didn't know at the time she was only 16. Out of seceral people that responded, she sounded like one who wasn't a gold digger or just wanted a free trip to America.

I guess no one on this board really has any advice to give me.

... in response to How old is she?, posted by Humabdos on Apr 14, 2002

She is Vietnamese, not a mahal. She is 18. She talked about the interview with her lawyer and he said it sounded like it went OK, but I'm not so sure.

I think it could be like you said, the woman might have been jealous (probably some Clinton hold over friend of Janet Reno). Another thing I just thought of a little while ago was that the woman that did the immigration papers was raided by some agency or another, but the charges were dropped. It happened right after Sept. 11th, and I think the Govt. just wanted to have an excuse to check her files. I don't know if that could have something to do with it or not. I'm going to call them tomorrow and see what the problem is.

Frankly, I think it's ridiculous the hoops you have to go through to legally bring someone here. The interviewer even asked her at the interview if we had sex yet. Now is that really anyone's bussiness besides me and my fiance's?

... in response to Re: How old is she?, posted by DavidWT on Apr 14, 2002

Dave,

FOA, "mahal" means "love".  When someone refers to your girl as "your mahal"... Well I'm sure you get the meaning now :)

I had similar trouble with the Embassy in Manila.  All it took was an interview with my fiancee and her mother to get everything sorted out.  My fiancee was nervous and missed too many "easy" questions.

I wrote to my Senator, Spence Abraham, then the Chairman of the Oversight Commitee on INS.  It made me feel like my tax dollars were finally at work!  Of course it did nothing.

About three weeks after she was already here, I received a copy of a sternly worded letter that was sent from his office to the Consulate in Manila basicly telling them to get off their butts!  There was a letter enclosed to me stating that they were making every effort to find out what was going on!  It gave me a good laugh, so I sent they some wedding pictures :)  Funny, I never received another reply.

Sorry for your troubles!  Everything will work out in time if you have everything right.  I know it's frustrating, but only patience will get you through.

I wish you the best!

Keep the Faith,

H

... in response to Been there..., posted by Howard on Apr 14, 2002

By the way, what did you have to do to get another interview with your fiance' and her mother at the consulate? Did you just call and ask for another interview? Did they make you wait 6 weeks?

Thank you so much again.

... in response to Re: Been there..., posted by DavidWT on Apr 14, 2002

David,

To be honest, I don't know.  My fiancee was too embarrassed to tell me.  As far as I know, they told her when to come back and to bring her mother with her.  I know her mother had to jump through hoops to prove we had a relationship, but that all makes sense now.

I wish I knew more that could help!

Keep the Faith

H

... in response to Been there..., posted by Howard on Apr 14, 2002

Thank you, that sounds like something I can use.

... in response to Re: Been there..., posted by DavidWT on Apr 14, 2002

She got approved!!!

... in response to She got approved!!! n/t, posted by DavidWT on Apr 18, 2002

I've heard of another case before (Manila) where the lady consular officer read every single letter that was submitted at the interview and apparently there was some pretty embarrassing stuff in some of them.

I hope your fiancée screened them first :-)

Ray