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An old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor.....
pulled himself..........slowly.......onto a stoll.
After catchinghis breath, he asked the waitress for
a banana split.
The waitress asked him very kindly, "crushed nuts",
"No" he replied, "arthritis".

... in response to when............., posted by micha1 on Mar 19, 2003

Getting Old

Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home. Sixty is
the worst age to be," said the 60- year-old. You always feel like you
have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes
out!"

"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. When you're
seventy, you don't have a bowel movement anymore.

You take laxatives, eat
bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age
of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.

"No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a
racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"Do you have trouble having a bowel movement?"
"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get
this straight.
You pee every morning at 6:00 and poop every morning at
6:30.

So what's so tough about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."