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You guys were right, and so was Natasha, the INS is not going to do anything about this whatsoever, even though I filed a form to withdraw my I-30 petition, she will still be allowed to stay here in this country.

I don't care what Jack says, I don't care about any of these guys success with these RW, I have learned my lesson.

The only guy on this board with real insight onto what is going on is LP, he is very smart, and he understands this situation very well. I always thought he was just some loser who was jealous of other guys finding a nice RW, but now I know he had the truth, he understood how these RW really are.

I agree with him when he says that these FSU slavic girls just don't know how to tell the truth, and they are the best actresses in the world, knowing how to play and con any man they want.

The woman INS officer told me, "you would not believe how often this happens, here in Vegas it's truly shocking!"

I believe her, the truth is not being told, and although it's certainly possible to find a quality girl in the FSU, it would be far easier to do so right here in the good ole USA.

I'm sorry, but in my opinion this pursuit is simply not worth it, and I feel sorry for all the guys who believe that this is the answer to all their dreams, because chances are it won't be.

Sure its great to hear success stories, but what about all the failures? The fact of the matter is you don't know the person until you live together for awhile, people should live together for 1-2 years before getting married, and people need to date for months to know if they may have any future together. Going over to Russia for a week or two and deciding on a wife is absurd, and setup in advance for failure.

But I have little doubt nobody will listen to me, just as I listened to nobody else, we all need to learn our own lessons for ourselves, and that is one of our own downfalls if you ask me.

LP, I wish I would have listen to you long ago, and I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

I would never ever in a million years go through this process ever again, no more communist girls for me ever again, for Russia truly is the evil empire, it's not just propaganda.

David

... in response to Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

David,

Sorry for all you have been through. But as some others here have pointed out, you are luckier than you know. Many have had it MUCH worse. Some not as bad, such as myself (though my expeirience hasn't been a cake-walk). As I have said, I went through/am currently going through something simular. I cannot go into details at this time as it is not yet complete. I will at a later date because I hope noone else makes the same mistakes I made and I also want to let people know the resolution...I think it is fairly unique. I will for now offer some advice, and I ask those searching to consider this. It sounds rather simple. The advice is this: Use the advice provided on this board; by those that have been down this road. Though I could bore all on this board with all the things my wife did, I did make some major mistakes myself. Namely, though I read this board for some time, I did not heed warnings by expeirenced people. My first and biggest mistake. I did not take enough time to learn enough about my (at that time) future wife. That is noone's fault but my own. I had warning signs which I chose to ignore. I thought I was a good enough judge of character. I was wrong! Russian woman are not all bad! That is a FACT. They are like anyone else out there; there are good and bad. I won't ever consider going through this again, but I also would not discourage someone else from doing so. All I would say is be cautious. And follow the advice of your preedicesors (sp). Don't assume you are a great judge of character and can determine who they are after two weeks. Don't ignore things that slap you in the face, literally and figuratively!

One thing I do not understand entirely. I very much believe that a person can disguise their true character and intentions for only so long. I think it is next to impossible to keep up a facade for a long duration. I filed for divorce from my wife after 61 days of marriage because she could not keep up the facade. But you went for 1.5 years of marriage and even then was considering taking her back (against the advice of people here). Why so long? Noone can act that good for so long. Either you chose to ignore what was happening, or she simply grew weary of you. Either way, you bear some fault. I apologize for being so blunt. Maybe it is because Love is Blind...it has been for me!!!

... in response to Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

Did you know David, that the incidence of divorce is actually higher among couples who live together before they are married?

... in response to Re: Just got back from the INS, posted by Oscar on Dec 18, 2002

Yes I do believe I've heard that statistic, but to be honest it's hard to believe based upon experience.

Unless you live together, you wouldn't know your potential spouse keeps a stash of forks and spoons and a cup for easy access under the bed. Nor would you know she won't clean anything in the apartment because cleaning would be a slaves work.

Actually I guess it was her mom doing all the cleaning throughout her life, look at what her mom created, a spoiled rotten little girl, makes sense now.

Natasha would seldom tell me anything about her mom, but one time she did mention that her mom was an economist, and another time she stated in reference to the conversation that her mom did that, (clean mafia money).

Her mom always seemed to have money, Natasha said she made about 1000 per month in Moscow, but I suspect it may have been much more.

I don't think her mom is such a nice person either, maybe I'm completely wrong here, maybe I'm looking for cospiracies where none exist, that's why I hate this, I cannot figure it out, this whole Russian thing and Russian language makes it very difficult to figure out and understand the truth.

All I do know is her mom is coming tomorrow to see Natasha and her new boyfriend, how lovely.

David

... in response to Re: Re: Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

You see, this is why I always suggest that men meet their prospective bride's families and spend LOTS of time with them, asking LOTS of questions, find out how THEY really feel about her.  Then you do the same thing with her friends.  You are trying to find out (hopefully in a pleasant rather than a gestapo way!) what kind of person they see her as because they are the ones who have known her all her life.
My fiance's family and friends were very honest with me after they got to know me a little bit.  I would ask them "so tell me some stories about her, what do you see as her best qualities?  What qualities of hers drive you nuts"!

I think that any guy who is planning on bringing a woman here without spending some significant time with her family and friends is missing out on a lot of info that can be very important.  If a woman does not want you to meet her faily or friends, that is a major warning flag to me.

I was lucky because my girl has a very close knit loving family with parents who have been married for 30 years.  I met all of them, plus her aunts and uncles and cousins, then many of her friends..  She had never been in an agency, which I personally liked (although there are many good girls in agencies) because they can have a tendency to get learn some bad habits in some agencies in my opinion.

... in response to Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

Dave,
dude ya got burned and now you're directing this pain and
hate on a new topic/arena and that's not doing yourself any good.

Hey, I got a good RW at home, and I know it was pure luck,
went there for pleasure anyways and came out meeting a
sweety. I've met many RW sense getting marriage and dude a
lot of the things you've said are true, but you're
stepping on some peoples dreams and it's not exactly a
perfect description of this whole FSU marriage deal.

Some guys like to gamble in life, some guys win and some
guys lose. At least they can find a seat at the black jack
table in the FSU and as you know it's very hard to get in
the game here for some guys let alone hit the jack pot.

Dude I'm no stud but I've been with every kind of AW there
is, Models, pagent winners, lawyers, to launndry mat
attendents, and they also have some BIG problems, or else
I would have been married to an AW before going abroad.
The thing is if you can't tell a fake/fu@ked up women from
a sweety shortly after meeting then the odds are against you.

You can stay here, go abroad, it doesn't matter all women
have faults but I recommend playing the odds where there
are more ladies to pick from.

The worst thing that can come from repeating this search
is getting ya a new lady every year or two! --- just
protect your ass-n-assets!

Mike

... in response to Now Now Dave, posted by Mike on Dec 18, 2002

Mike, you have a good point I suppose, AW are messed up too for the most part, or else I too would be married to one. But the fact remains that Natasha was the worst girl I've ever been with by a 100 times, easily.

I have no doubt I could find a nice RW, but my problem with all of this is how it has to be done. If only the INS would allow a 6 month window for marriage once they got here? And if the INS would speed up the process a little, 3 months total should be the norm from start to finish.

But it takes so long, its so expensive, and on top of all that, its very risky in my opinion. What bothers me the most is how good of an Actress Natasha was, how good of a liar she was, horrible of a person she was yet I didn't know it.

I don't like that, because I've had many girlfriends, I went out with a lot of girls, but none of them were ever like Natasha, carrying on elaborate huge lies and games, manipulating, deceiving on a grand scale.

No AW I've ever been with ever did that to me, or ever betrayed me like Natasha has. I still cannot believe it, how she lied all up till the last day, pretending and lying like she did, and to call the police and make a false report about me abusing her, all to get me arrested.

After all I did for her? After everything I put up with for so long? It's absolutely unbelievable to me, never could I have imagined this girl could ever be this way.

That's why I'm investigating moving to the FSU somewhere, I need to date a girl, get to know her, live with her for awhile, only then could I ever know if we were good for each other.

I'm not that hard to please, but messing up the whole house, never helping to do anything ever, never cleaning, never helping to pay bills, never working full time, being lazy all the time, drinking Jack Daniels straight, just isn't the type of girl I'm looking for, and I didn't know these things until she got here and were got married.

Imagine if our countries situation were in reverse. This is where Russian men have lots of money relative to AM, and AW don't want to live poor, so they want to contact RM to escape the poverty of the USA.

Now let me ask you, what type of woman would be first in line to get a RM? Gold diggers right? Just imagine the type of girls in your mind that would be the first and most aggressive to finding a RM who could give them so much more than an AM could.

You would have a lot of shady woman trying to exploit the situation as best they could, and those woman may overshadow a real girl who is just looking for a nice guy, intrigued by America perhaps.

Do you know that most woman is Russia love Russia, they have no plans of leaving Russia, and believe that Russia is the best country in the world, and that RM are the best men in the world?

Only a few girls relatively speaking are looking for a foriegn husband, and guess what type of girls many of them are? Gold Diggers.

You have a nice RW, that is great, you are very lucky, does she have any friends? I'm kidding, but I can only wish I could be as lucky as you. Maybe in the future.

Take care Mike.

David

... in response to Re: Now Now Dave, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

David, I have read your story, and I have watch people give you advice for weeks now, the problem is not your Natasha, it was you dude. It was you not standing up for yourself. So before you go and screw up other peoples minds, and there plans, why don’t you stop posting for awhile, give it a break. You and your negative approach are not helping you or anybody.
I think I read that every relationship you have been in has ended the same way, hasn’t the light turned on in your head yet. You are meant to be beaten by every woman that you come in contact with. Maybe you’re gay, and you haven’t come out of the closet yet. Because your sure not a real man, there are many ways to project power without raising your voice, but you have to come out from under the rug to do it.

Question: How many times can you beat a dog with a stick until he runs away? Answer: 1, a smart dog leaves very quickly and doesn’t turn back.

Tom

... in response to Re: Re: Now Now Dave, posted by TomTx on Dec 18, 2002

Well, I don't believe what you say about me is true, I was a good husband to Natasha, she is the one who wasn't a good wife, and I'm guilty of being nice to her and sticking with her when I was very unhappy with her, I just never thought after doing all the things I've done for her she would take off on me, betray our marriage, and leave me with all the bills, no money in our account, take my car, and make a false report to the police.

No my friend, you don't know me or our situation, you're wrong I'm afraid. But I would love to see how you would have handled Natasha, that would be good for a laugh or two.

David

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Now Now Dave, posted by John LV on Dec 19, 2002

You have one thing right, is you did let her take advantage of you. This what seperates the men from the boys. I could tell you real easy what I would have done, because I been there.
I would have given her a choice, either help or get out, 2nd I have learned not to think with emotion and see the situation for what it is. If you would have told her from the very beginning, either help makes this work, show commitment, or get out NOW, she might have changed her tune, but you didn't, you did not stick by what you told her, so in her eyes you are not a man.
Love sometimes has to be tough, and you wimped out, she kept beating you, and you let her. Your fault dude.
When you try to think with emotion, you never see the situation correctly, this is why people from outside can see better, they see reality, and you could not.

Move on, and learn, but don't inflict your opinion on others, it's not right, and your not right, you are wasting disk space.
TOM

... in response to Re: Now Now Dave, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

You can bring one here for 180 days and they can go back without receiving a ban from re-entry. If you plan to bring one here tell her first you want to get married after living together for a length of time. You should know before then anyways. Also if she is here and isn't suppose to be you can still marry her, I know one RW that came here through mexico and got married and went back and they did the I-130 spouse visa.

Mike

... in response to Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

A man goes out and buys a new BMW, he wrecks it the next week. Now all BMW's are bad, to be avoided! A man goes to Pizza Hut, get's a pizza, eat's it and becomes sick. Now all Pizza Hut's are bad, to be avoided! Basketball player buys new pair of Nikes. That evening he breaks his ankle playing ball. Now all Nikes are bad, to be avoided! Stupid twerp snoddy nose punk marries Russian scammer, Russian woman he hardly knew, never meets a real sincere Russian woman, get's his ass scammed really good despite repeated attempts of caution, to move slow, now all Russian women are bad, to be avoided. The claims some people make.

David, you got what was coming to you. If you were to go about the pursuit for a Russian bride in a more efficient manner you would probably do much better but in your case I will advise against it. I do not think you should waste any more of your time seeking a Communist bride. I think you will find much love and happiness in an American woman. Good-by and good luck.

... in response to (*/*), posted by Jack on Dec 18, 2002

Jack's got it 100% correct.

... in response to (*/*), posted by Jack on Dec 18, 2002

I got food poisoning from "James Coney Island". I'll never eat there again. Even the thought of eating a hot dog makes me want to vomit.

-blm

... in response to (*/*), posted by Jack on Dec 18, 2002

Jack....that's our boy in a nutshell. (or nutcase)  If it's sex he's interested, he should slam it in a car door...if it's long enough.

... in response to (*/*), posted by Jack on Dec 18, 2002

Jack, I'm listening to you ok? But I suspect your not being 100% honest since you would likely have an agenda since you own a marriage agency.

It's marriage anencies like your own that got me into trouble in the first place. "Find a loving woman" "Guys in Russia are no good", "Russian woman only wants to be loved by a nice man"

So I went out and met Natasha, my Czech friend got very angry at this saying, "why are you messing with a stinkin Russian man, stay away from them, get a Czech girl"

I assumed he was biased against Russian because of the USSR, so I shrugged of what he said. And when I met Natasha she was everything marriage agencies talk about, very feminine, very smart, interested in me, talked very sweet with me, wanted me to be the man and do everything, etc.

I thought I had only found what marriage agencies like yours advertise, and I was happier than happy. But now what LP says makes sense, and Watcher even admitted to seeing how RW seem to lie, and the INS officer who said you can't believe how much this happens, etc.

If Natasha and I had met each other where we could have lived together for 3-6 months, we would have realized we were not right for each other. I hated her tatoos, hated her drinking Jack Daniels, hated how messy she was, how lazy she was, how she would spend hours taking baths, doing her nails, doing her toenails, doing her hair, doing her makup, it was a joke.

As Ken said, "she was applying for job of Princess", and that is the truth too. Having to do anything would be like slavery to her.

But I didn't know this about her, and 3 weeks after she got here we got married, and then I started to realize I got a lot more or a lot less than I had anticipated.

And that I believe is the true problem with this venture, not that you couldn't find a nice RW, not that this can take a lot of time, or a lot of money, but that the process itself is the biggest downfall.

It would be far better if the girl had little reason to lie, and the guy had little reason to go 8,000 miles to find a wife. But I guess that would be a more perfect world. But living together for at least 6 months seems mandatory to me so that you can get to know the person.

If you don't mind responding Jack, in your experience what is the success/failure rate with these type of marriages?

David

... in response to Re: (*/*), posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

Got caught with your head between your legs eh?

That has got to be the most stupid post I've ever seen on this board.

You deserve an award for total incompetence.

Damn!

... in response to Re: (*/*), posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

Maybe it's just me but man I could smell a girl like you described from a mile away!

If you make the trip back and work from there you'll have all that time you talked about needing to know someone. Secondly you'll have much more experiance about the different kinds of women over there and you'll learn which types are the screwed up ones.

Mike

... in response to Re: (*/*), posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

Let's face it, if you're a jerk and a scumbag, the RW is going to leave. I can tell you this much. I know of one AM/RW couple whose marriage is falling apart. Not because she is a problem, although from a DSD point of view, she would be, but because he has a personality disorder. The same as you, DSD.

It seems that this husband has no empathy, very little compassion, very arrogant, and is just plain cold. His wife, on the other hand, is a precious gem. She is warm, compassionate, sensitive, loyal, and very loving. Now he, by all appearences, is decent guy with a stable job, a good home, and a fairly temperate disposition. He is not abusive towards his wife physically, but he has begun to say and do some very cruel things to her emotionally. There are some other things he is doing that I know of specifically, but I'm not going to mention them here to keep this as anonymous as possible. This husband is not listening to his wife's pleadings and her heart is breaking. She loves her husband, but he knows she is totally dependant on him so he is treating her without respect. She may leave the country and never return because of the humiliation she is experiencing.

This is one RW, who is truly sincere, and a great rarity in personality and charm. A truly decent woman. It would be a tragic loss for her to leave because she is truly an asset and makes a wonderful wife, even to the jerk she is married to. Unfortunately, she can only take so much disrespect and humiliation before she has to exit to keep her sanity. Perhaps that is what her husband wants. It is very sad.

-blm

... in response to The quality of the husbands is a major f..., posted by BarryM on Dec 18, 2002

Well Barry I can assure you that I did treat Natasha very well. She would say that I always yell at her.

Is that true?

I guess it depends on your perspective, what would you do if your RW spilt cranberry juice or wine all over the brand new carpet, and never knew she did it? Nothing right, just clean it up and maybe let her know about it, right.

What if she does it again, and then again, and then again, and what if she spills soup all over the carpet, food all over the carpet, won't rinse out her own dishes let alone mine, and leaves glasses and cups in every room, bathrooms, bedrooms, computer room, living room, and won't ever clean them?

Has a stash of spoons and forks under the bed for easy access; how long they have not been washed is anybodies guess?

What would you do? And if you say, Natasha honey, this place is really getting dirty, lets clean this place together this weekend ok? And she say's ok. So the weekend comes and low and behold, she has a migraine, she can't do it this weekend. So the next weekend we will, but the next weekend comes and she is too tired to do it, going to the gym for 2 hours has her all pooped out.

Now what if this went on month after month, what would you do? I would get angry with her and tell her that I couldn't stand living in a pigs pen, and if she would not help me to keep the place clean, at least she can clean up after her own messes right?

Wrong, she would never clean, never clean up after herself, never do laundry, never go grocery shopping, never do anything, never keep a job, show up late everyday for work until they fire you, it was the biggest and worst joke of my life, I've never even heard of a girl like her before let alone married one.

And if it wasn't for this whole INS process, I would have learned the way she was before we got married, although I will admit I could have taken the whole 3 months but I married in 3 weeks instead, big mistake on my part.

The girl you describe, I would love to meet such a girl, that type of girl would be a dream come true for me, I would never demeanor a girl, on the contrary, I was always trying to lift Natasha up, encouraging her, loving her, showing great respect for her, it was her that showed me no respect, and I should have known that I had a very bad apple once she refused to clean anything and acted as if I thought she were my slave if I suggested she should clean up after her own messes.

That is totally illogical and I should never have put up with it, and that is why I was always unhappy with her, she was not my helper, but only a lying mooch who used me, plain and simple.

It's too bad nice people have such a hard time meeting other nice people, or maybe we all delude ourselves and were all messed up, I don't know.

All I can do is my best, and that is what I'll do in the future.

David

... in response to Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

David...David...David.. You still don't get it. Why do you waste any more time with this girl.I am sure that she does not waste her time or thoughts with you.You said that you had some good times together. Be thankful. She has left...She has moved on... Do what you have to do paperwork wise and move on yourself.

My own experience with a woman from the FSU was not happy! But she made her own decisions about not telling the truth to many times and I made mine not to bring her to the US in the end. She is still in her small town in Russia freezing to death and working hard to make ends meet.She is still unable to find the right man to have her family with while her university friends and colleagues are having their first babies and getting on with their careers. So who came out the better? We both lost to some extent.But I learned so much about the general characteristics of FSU woman from her and others and I agree with much that LP said.

I also have learned much about myself and what I want and need in a marriage.My first time that I went to see her we had a discussion about what we can realistic accept in a relationship. All I asked was her to be honest, She could not.It caused a large amount of stress in our relationship for both of us.So in the end, that is what ended our nascent feelings and our relationship.

But why do you feel that you have to "punish" her by sending her back.If she is like you said she will have a very unhappy life of her own making. Just let the poor woman be. Learn...Learn and go on.

Perhaps you should take a step back and with the fresh New Year start again to find that special someone in your life.I know that is what I am going to do.I wrote several other men who own plans for their RW has not worked out and who have posted on this board and that is what they are doing.

As a suggestion, Jack Bragg of FirstDreams, has a rather intensive program of specialized help to find that right woman in the FSU on a one to one basis. Maybe you could use some sort of guidence in finding that right woman. He is quite experienced much from the "school of hard knocks".Perhaps you should give him a call and see if you could work together.Maybe he could give you ongoing advice in selecting a woman that will be right for you in his program.If you are truly as bright as you think, then youi must know the value of using experts and professionals when you need to make decisions in an area of less knowledge.

Just for your information, I have never worked with Jack but will do some newspaper advertiseing in the New Year.

For myself, I was very lucky to find a great friend, an older,very mature and very well married lady from Moscow where I live to ask advice when I need it.It has been worth it weight in gold.
     
Otherwise...don't you think that the men of this board is getting somewhat tired of your shrill postings.

Just some thoughts.My last on this!

Watcher

... in response to Re: Just got back from the INS, posted by Watcher on Dec 18, 2002

Thank you for your post, very well said.

I'm sorry that I keep posting here, I guess it's just a way to get some of this off my shoulders?

The fact is, I cannot seem to let this go, and I don't want to go on and on about what happen, but try to understand this relationship was like none other I've ever had, and I simply cannot accept the fact of who this girl I thought I knew became who she became, I cannot seem to accept it, and yes it's destroying me.

But I so far seem to be helpless to control it, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Perhaps one of you could just come to Vegas and shoot me, that would help my cause plus I wouldn't post here anymore either. You would be doing me a big favor.

Watcher, I agree with everything you said, but right now I can't eat, can't sleep, I feel sick as can be, I have no energy to do anything, nothing seems interesting or appealing, and the market is doing terrible right when I need it to do well.

Yes I know, everybody is getting tired of me whinning, so let me go on record then as being a whinner when he gets completely betrayed in a marriage then. I'm really very sorry, I wish I had more friends or family I could talk with, this is the worst pain I've ever felt before, even worse than having your heart broken I believe.

David

... in response to Re: Re: Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

David,
Eventhough I feel that you created this yourself, I still am very aware of the pain a failed relationship offers. It is very painful and hard to let go-especialyy when you feel heavily vested. So I will give you my Prayers (I am a minister you know) and my condolences. My suggestion is to get on as many chat rooms as you can and cry your eyes out to these people-it is great therapy. I did this after my last girlfriend left and I got much sympathy. But, even more important this sympathy came from people with much worse stories than mine. One woman was beaten by her boyfriend and he stole her car, trashed her house, stole her money and she had to have surgury due to the beatings. She tells me, "I am so sorry for you. It will get better." Boy did I feel like a wimp. I have never whined about anything since then. That was quite a few years ago.
Good Luck and God Speed.
Joe
Ps
I think that LP has an extra room. Maybe if you throw in a couple of bucks he will lete you crash for a couple of weeks!
:)

... in response to To your defense...., posted by yoe on Dec 18, 2002

Thank you, especially the prayers, I really need them.

... in response to Re: To your defense...., posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

God helps those who help themselves.  Prayers get you an answer, not always what you ask for.  As despicable as I think you are for so many reasons, I also hope you come out OK.  (Empathy for a fellow human I suppose)

Call on God, but row away from the rocks!!!

... in response to Re: Re: To your defense...., posted by Globetrotter on Dec 18, 2002

Just goes to show you're a good man, thank you.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: To your defense...., posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

Try being one yourself...do justly, show mercy, walk humbly.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: To your defense...., posted by Globetrotter on Dec 18, 2002

I will, I will try.

... in response to Re: Re: Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

Based on this last post you need to talk to someone and fast.  I have been down the road of not working correctly and not sleeping and so on.  It really does work, go get some professional help.  If you have health insurance then most of them even pay for most of it.

... in response to Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

If you do a valid pre-nup and figure you have a beautiful woman for 2 years until she gets here green card and if it works out fine and it not go get another one and have 2 more years of fun.  It's all in how you handle it.

... in response to Re: Depends on what you're looking for., posted by Bubba on Dec 18, 2002

I wonder how well prenups work.

... in response to Re: Re: Depends on what you're looking f..., posted by Albert on Dec 19, 2002

I haven't done one but from what I can tell they need to be in both languages and done at least 30 days prior to getting married and have some long term clauses where if things do work out she does collect at some time. For example after 10 years of marriage this contract is null and void. But if you are really thinking about this as always you need profession advice of an attorney in your state, different states, different rules.

... in response to Re: Depends on what you're looking for., posted by Bubba on Dec 18, 2002

Interesting point I guess, but I suppose my goal was to find a nice girl to marry and have a nice wife for longer than two years. But I guess your thinking it might work out so it's worth the risk?

I don't think I would like this idea because this whole process from start to finish is long, expensive, and at least in my case, emotionally difficult.

The thought of having to go through the entire process all over again makes me feel more ill than I already do. To think what I had to go through since day one makes me feel sick to my stomach how all of this has ended.

I guess if you have been single for awhile, and you really cannot or do not want to find an AW, and so there really aren't any other choices left, then yes, RW are an alternative. But an extremely risky one at that, I would strongly suggest that if you are going to make this sort of commitment, and spend this kind of money to find a girl and be with her, than I would spend the extra 2K or so to hire a PI over there and see what kind of girl she really is. Have phones tapped, have them watched, and hire a guy to flirt with her to see if she will cheat on you.

If she is telling you on the phone everything you want to hear, and makes good excuses for whatever, better to be sure about this girl rather than make a HUGE mistake and bring the wrong one over here. If I did do this all over again, I would of had Natasha checked out, and with the help of someone else I would most likely have realized just who Natasha is.

If the girl does not cheat on you for the 6-8 months while being engaged, great, you have a nice girl from which to start, but if she does, then you can get rid of her before it's too late. Plus if you know what she is saying to her friends, you could see if she is talking bad about you, etc.

This venture is just too risky in my opinion, but if you do take the risk, minimize it as much as you can, hire a PI to at least check this girl out a little bit. I wish I had done that, I wish I had not been so trusting, Natasha was the only girl I have ever trusted, and she is the only girl who has ever betrayad me, and the emotional hurt of betrayal suprises me as to how much it actually hurts.

David

... in response to Re: Re: Depends on what you're looking f..., posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

What makes you can trust a PI in Russia?  What makes you think he wouldn't approach your "squeeze" and take a few bob from her to grease the report favorably, no matter what she does?

Tis a very, very dangerous game.  Less dangerous if you always "look at the way things really are, as opposed to the way you would like them to be."  Big, big difference.

... in response to Re: Re: Depends on what you're looking f..., posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

I am saying if you are older and want a young piece of eye candy then who cares.  If it works out fine if not move on and get another one for more fun.  If you are telling me you didn't fool around over here waiting for 8 months I find that VERY hard to believe. I would be partying hardy until she got here.

... in response to You either missed my point or ignored it..., posted by Bubba on Dec 18, 2002

She was my fiancee, of course I didn't cheat on her, I would never do that, nor would I ever mess with a married girl either, or even a girl with a boyfriend, I'm not interested in that.

It took me over 1 year to get Natasha here, I never cheated on her the whole time, and I believed she never cheated on me, but I believe that trust was unfounded.

I don't know, maybe I'll just shut up now because I can't type anymore anyway.

David

... in response to Just got back from the INS, posted by John LV on Dec 18, 2002

Who cares.  Go away for good!