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Below under Ryan's post, William F. congratulated Ryan on his success and suggested this success indicated the WOVO naysayers were wrong.  I posted there, but am repeating here as the original thread is getting a little old.

William, how can this be judged a success story? I recently went to Russia and met 12 women. I could have decided that any of the 12 were 'the one' and could have written gushy (and real) stories about 'that one.'

But, by having the chance to compare the 12 ladies (and several from previous trips), I knew in my mind and in my heart, that none of them were 'the one,' at least not yet as I don't know any of them well enough. I did spend 10 days with one and 8 days with another, but still didn't think I knew them well enough as some guys think they do after a week.

If I had spent all of my time with only one lady, I might very well be going through the K processs right now because many of them seemed pretty cool when viewed in isolation. But when you take time to compare them against each other, that is when the flaws start to show up and you realize that none of them are 'the one.'

And this is not to say that I have no flaws, nor that I am looking for a perfect gal or will ever find a perfect gal. It is just that by having a chance to compare, you can have a much more rational thought process and not go all 'ga ga' over one.

To me, the concept of 'success story' goes a bit further. I was married to one woman for 28 years. Was that a 'success story?' Well it wasn't to those who are married for 30 years. It certainly wasn't with respect to my parents who celebrated their golden wedding anniversary, nor for one of my sets of grandparents who made it to 70th anniversary.

JR

... in response to What is success, posted by juio99 on Nov 27, 2002

It is all in how you define it. One person said to me, if you wake up the next morning that is success.

Ryan has success plain and simple. He thinks that he has found the right one. That is more successful than not finding someone that you think is the right one is it not?

Success is where you are at the moment. Everything else is speculation. So, even if a marriage lasts till death do us part ---- does that make it a success? Of course not if they were not happy but staying together for whatever reason they came up with to stay together.  

Yes there are indicators that can suggest greater chances of success or failure. For example a 98 year old man marrying a 97 year old woman has a very good chance at success as he will most likely die before his marriage fails.

Just try to be happy and if you arrive at that --- that is the only success.

... in response to Re: What is success, posted by thesearch on Nov 27, 2002

Success is being happy with what you have right now.

... in response to Re: Re: What is success, posted by Zink on Nov 27, 2002

...words of wisdom from The Great White North. Simple, succinct, and nicely done. My compliments....

... in response to Re: What is success, posted by thesearch on Nov 27, 2002

probably has the same chance of success.  May I live long enough to find out!

:-)

... in response to Of course a 98 year old man marrying an ..., posted by Griffin on Nov 27, 2002

he sat at the bus station crying. When ask why so sad he replied that he was married to an 18 year old woman. He went on to say that they were very happy. They made love daily, never argued and shared endless moments of laughter and bliss. So when ask why he was so sad he relpied, "I can not remember where I live"!
Joe

... in response to Of course a 98 year old man marrying an ..., posted by Griffin on Nov 27, 2002

However, if she walks off with his estate -- the kids won't think that is was successful  LOL

... in response to What is success, posted by juio99 on Nov 27, 2002

My own experience has told me to temper the enthusiasm I have had when I have "found the one" after a short trip to the FSU.  Every time the girl has worked out during the initial trip she has fallen out during a subsequent trip or during the correspondence process.  I am almost afraid to write a trip report the next time I meet "the one" during future trips to the FSU because of my track record.  Therefore, my advice is that it is not a done deal until it is - and then it takes alot of work to keep it right.

... in response to What is success, posted by juio99 on Nov 27, 2002

But seriously folks...

How does such a process end?  I am married to a beautiful woman whom I grow to love more every day.  Are there other women out there that I could be equally happy with?  Of course!  I wanted a good woman to share my life with and I found one.  Should I still be looking because she ranks only 98 out of a possible 100?  Why?  There will always be the potential that a "better" woman is out there, but you have to forgo current happiness to continue the search.

Plus, trying to get to know 12 women in a two to three week span sounds like a good description of Hell to me.  (My watch says it's Thursday so this must be Lena.  What was it that I didn't like about her?)

Whatever works is right!  Your way works for you.  It wouldn't for me.

... in response to What is success, posted by juio99 on Nov 27, 2002

your last paragraph! Back some time ago, the topic of "success" regarding marriages between AM/FSU ladies was discussed on this board. Not one poster who opined defined success as "until death do us part" ..... the very vow most will take on an altar before their God. Good luck to all and Happy Thanksgiving.