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Thanks for the below comments relative to the lady I spent too much money on during my most recent trip to Russia.  Many recommended asking her about her willingness to switch to a cheaper mode of spending.

In general, this would be the simple thing to do.  And, I am thinking that a large majority of ladies in general and FSU ladies specifically, would readily agree to this switch.  However, the proof is in their later actions and attitudes.  If she and I were living in the same city, a couple of dates would demonstrate how well she was adapting to this situation, and I could go from there.

However, in the situation I described, I am planning to meet with 2 or 3 of these ladies in a warm spot early next spring.  Given that she would, before hand, agree to the lower standard, but that I would not know until a couple of days into the visit the reality of her acceptance, it is just too risky.  I imagine all of you guys have spent some time with a lady who was very unhappy about something.  Usually you can just walk away.  But where both of you are away from home, you are just stuck with each other until her plane departs, which in this case would be 10-15 days.

If I had no other options, I might take the risk.  But given that I did not go on a WOVO basis, I do have other options.

Thanks again,

JR

... in response to Thanks for advice, posted by juio99 on Nov 12, 2002

Thanks again for all the input.  However, we must agree to disagree.  I simply see this as a risk that is completely unnecessary for me to take, and therefore it would be irrational for me to take it.  Further, the decision is already made and implemented.  I have terminated the relationship.

But sorry if my words misled some of you concerning my attachment to this lady.  Yes, I did find her very attractive in several ways, however, I had the same attraction (and more) for some of the other ladies.

My intention with the original post was for the benefit of newbies to illustrate a mistake that I had made.

JR

... in response to Thanks for advice, posted by juio99 on Nov 12, 2002

...Remember that Cyprus info I gave you?

You may recall I flew a girl to Cyprus to spend some time with her. This was after 7 months of writing and one previous visit. Some guys claim they would know someone pretty well by then. Guess again.

Cyprus didn't always go smooth. In fact, it was very rocky at times. Several times I had to restrain myself from choking the **** outta her. Another time I gave her enough cash to get home and abandoned her, then came back. Living with someone 24/7 is not the same as visiting them and can be an eye opener. It's a good test of how it could be later on. Such induced cohabitaion lets you better observe how someone (or two people) resolve conflict. This is very important since conflict is inevitable in any relationship.

The point is if you're both far from home and it goes sour you *have* to work through it or one of you must bug out. I was damned if I was gonna split because I was paying for it and she was wrong most of the time anyway. ;-) We ended up having a great time and I later almost married her. If something better hadn't come along I would have. She was a prize, just not as willing to resolve conflict as I am. (Lol, contrary to popular belief I'm a lover, not a fighter.)

I did this a few other times with different women, most of whom I'd not met prior to the trips. All were very good times. Spending a few weeks with a beautiful girl you've never met (in a nice place neither of you are familiar with) can be a very romantic deal as long as there is some prior chemistry. And it can be an enlightening way to see past that chemistry, to see what she's really all about.

Most of these women hadn't had a decent vacation in years and welcomed the chance to escape winter. The fact we might never see each other again had no bearing as everyone involved considered these trips exploratory. Regardless, all are fond memories to this day. I'm not saying this way is for everyone but since I was taking my time it was an enjoyable method for me.

So go and don't worry about it. Even if it goes Tango Uniform you can make it a pleasant experience if both understand a holiday is as far as it's gonna go. If it does go further, you can go back and meet her family in a more relaxed manner.

... in response to Hey JR....., posted by LP on Nov 12, 2002

Yes LP, I well remember your trip to Cyprus and your later help to me with all of the info.  Also recall, that I reported here earlier that I had taken (sequentially) 3 RW for a month in Turkey last April.  So I have had experience, similar to yours, with FSU women on these trips.

But in the current situation, we are into different variables.  Because I don't go on WOVO trips, I have alternatives.  Yes, I will go on the trip, at least that is the plan, and I will be with 2 or more RW.  But, I have had to rule out the lady in question because of the factors that I posted about before.

However, I appreciate your posting and reminding us all of the problems and realities involved in these endeavors.

JR

... in response to Thanks for advice, posted by juio99 on Nov 12, 2002

n/t

... in response to quality over quantity-take the chance  n..., posted by KenC on Nov 12, 2002

Ken, I don't understand your comment, especially relative to the situation I have posted.

I know you have the ability, so why don't you give a point by point argument of your suggestions relative to my situation, and take into consideration the potential problems as I have stated them, and take into consideration that I have options as I have in stated.  Only in that manner can we be assured that we are really comparing apples to apples.  Then, hopefully, we can see where the realistic approach lies.

Thanks,

JR

... in response to More specifics please, posted by juio99 on Nov 12, 2002

JR,
The lady that took you out of your game had something going for her that the others did not.  She may indeed be a higher risk than the others, but the something special she offered may be worth it.  If I were you, I would sure want to play that hand out.
KenC

... in response to Re: More specifics please, posted by KenC on Nov 12, 2002

I am no expert, but I have seen all sides to these women, and especially their counterparts here in the US. I agree with KenC. Be open and frank with her, and tell her that you went in over your head. Then see how she reacts. You might even suggest at the last minute, allowing her time to offer, that you might have to do some picnicing and perhaps some of your own cooking.

After all, you led her down the path you took! How can you blame her. It may be that she went along for the ride, but it may also mean that you may have an opportunity to really share something (experience) together. Restaurants are great, but they are also somewhat impersonal. I would much rather kiss my lady on the back of the neck while she is bent over the sink peeling a potato, than eat with 3 forks at the Brown Derby. Perhaps she would prefer the kiss as well. Do you really know?

Until the facts are on the table, will you want to kick yourself someday?

... in response to Re: Re: More specifics please, posted by Quasimoto on Nov 12, 2002

Be careful in the heat of the moment you started to describe, she doesn't peel your potato, or maybe not.

... in response to Re: Re: More specifics please, posted by Quasimoto on Nov 12, 2002

Appealing imagery Steve.

I hope all is well with you and yours.

Thanks!

- Dan

... in response to "kiss my lady on the back of the ne..., posted by Dan on Nov 12, 2002

they don't call him "spud" for nothing..