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I would like to know what some of you who have been there done that in FSU consider viable methods for finding your bride.  I can not follow the basic tenets of your arguments.  From what I understand there is the write many, narrow it to one or two women - go over and meet her/them hopefully with backup plans of some sought.  In writing many one may also place personal advertisements in places you might want to travel to and or sign up for mens personals with agencies.  The second option would be to write many after mens advertisement with an agencies / personal advertisements / buying addresses off the internet and then traveling to meet many girls (say 10 or more).  A third option would be to take the second method of writing / visiting many and add going to socials of some sought (big or small agencies) through an organized group.  A fourth option would be to just show up for the big agency socials.  A fifth option would just be to select a small agency and show up / go through their books / hope the girl you want is available / meet her and take it from there.  A sixth would be to go to show up, go to a few small agencies - perhaps in more than one city and take it from there.  A seventh would be to live there / work and hope to meet the girl of your dreams while over there.  Another (eigth) option would be to happen to meet a FSU girl over here say while she is on a student visa / divorced from another man who brought her to the USA / a girl you found here in the US.  As far as agencies big or small / network or not.........as you can see the possibilities get greatly enlarged depending upon the FSU city and network.  I am looking for a better answer.  Money and time work against a guy like me, and I want to know what is the best alternative for when I go in the Spring.  The thing that really gets to me is writing girls and getting no response.  I look at it as a waste of time and money.
Does showing up and getting lucky happen so infrequently?  I have tried the letter writing approach prior to going over before.....it seems the best I have done is just show up and meet......though no girl has made it to the US yet, so I have not been entirely successful - though I have just gotten experience and lost some cash / time.  So, what does the panel recommend?????

... in response to Methods, posted by hockeybrain on Oct 21, 2002

thanks hockeybrain for mentioning other options i had not considered.

... in response to Methods, posted by hockeybrain on Oct 21, 2002

Hockey, I would add that unless you have a very special girl that you have been writing to for quite a while, many of the girls you write to will start to get antsy if you wait too long to go over..

I would suggest writing some girls from the internet sites (be careful as they are full of scammers) and buying some addresses from reputable agencies, writing about 4 months before leaving.  Some will drop out naturally, others will continue to write.  About 3 months before leaving, place a couple of ads where you are going that will run for 2-3 weeks (with a local address and phone for the girls to respond to, this is VERY important!).  This should give you quite a few girls to correspond with before leaving.  About 1 month before going, have the ads run again for a couple of weeks..  You will pick up some more this way and if you have time to write them before you go, great, if not, you can use them as backups for when you get there if you need them.

If you are not getting responses when you write, you might want to run your initial letter by somebody here with some experience to see if you might be doing something that is turning the girls off, like getting overly mushy with a first letter just because you liked their photo or something..  It could be a number of things..

Have your interpreter (whoever that might be) line up as many of your dates ahead of time as possible.  Some guys only want to meet 2 women per day, but if you just meet for tea only, you can see as many as 6 in a day if you wish.  That's what I did, just a quick initial meeting to see if we would both like to meet again.  This way, you can usually get through 15-20 girls in the first 3-4 days and then have plenty of time to narrow the field down to just a few and spend a lot of time on them the remainder of you trip.  If your interpreter explains to a woman that you want to meet only for tea for a short time on an initial meeting, they will be fine with it.  Having a good interpreter helps.  I just could never see spending a whole or even half a day with a woman I knew in the first 5 minutes I would not be interested in.. that time can pass VERY slowly and to me, time was far too precious..

Now this is if you want to meet a number of ladies!  There are some here who don't want to, but I wanted to.  You could use the same process if you only want to meet 6 girls though, just meet 3 the first day and 3 the second then hopefully narrow the field etc,.

Just a few ideas..

... in response to Re: Methods, posted by Oscar on Oct 21, 2002

Thanks.

... in response to Methods, posted by hockeybrain on Oct 21, 2002

Repeat until successful.

I tried four times before meeting my wife.  I think expecting to go over once and be married is not only unrealistic, but dangerous as well.  You want a good marriage rather than just any marriage.  That's not an easy thing to find, either here, or in the FSU.

... in response to You forgot the last part of each method-, posted by Patrick on Oct 21, 2002


Lather.

Rinse.

Repeat.

... in response to You forgot the last part of each method-, posted by Patrick on Oct 21, 2002

Thanks for the words of wisdom.  I am not a rash individual by any means and will of course always see a girl / correspond / see how the relationship develops prior to going fully forward.

... in response to Methods, posted by hockeybrain on Oct 21, 2002

"So, what does the panel recommend?????"

Just who do you think the 'panel' is?  Do you envision it to be some kind of Town Counsel that meets on the 1st Tuesday of every month OR maybe a 'cabinet' group that Patrick has appointed OR maybe like the US Senate's Committee on Foreign Relations OR what?

There is no answer to this question because a 'panel' does not exist.  If you want individual opinions read the forum - that's where they are located.  

If you must have a definitive answer, here it is:

[The 'panel' recommends that if you want to be assured of maximizing your odds of success you should use these methods or a combination of them after adjusting for individual circumstances and your personal comfort level, but it reserves the right to think up a few more.]

Remember, opinions are like 'Rectal Orifaces'.  Everyone has one.

... in response to Re: Methods, posted by robobond on Oct 21, 2002

... everyone thinks everyone else's stinks. (couldn't resist.)

My only recomendation about finding Miss Right is to not have a time schedule or budget. Don't force it, just take your time and the right situation will come along. Get plenty of one-on-one time in lots of different situations so you get to know that she's really showing her true self and not just putting up a facade. Guys who want to get it over in six months, or two trips or for $5000 or some other arbitrary standard are setting themselves up for a fall. Relax and enjoy the journey - it's at least as much fun as the destination.

-- Jeff S.

... in response to And...., posted by Jeff S on Oct 21, 2002

Now there's something I agree with. Trying to put a relationship on a schedule doesn't work well. We sometimes forget that life isn't a race to the finish. None of us are going to like how it ends.

... in response to Re: Methods, posted by robobond on Oct 21, 2002

Have another one on me.

... in response to Methods, posted by hockeybrain on Oct 21, 2002

Hocky,
The important thing is to keep trying until you do find the right woman for you.  Writing women ahead of time just eliminates the ones you don't want.  Anything that helps introduce you to RW will be helpful, but the truth of the matter is that you have to be lucky too.  You could have found Ms. Right (for you) in Tver or with Mordinson, but you didn't.  How can you know that she hasn't signed up since your last visit.  You could meet hundreds of women and not meet her, or you could meet her on your forst trip.  Just keep trying.  There is no magical method.
KenC

... in response to Re: Methods & luck, posted by KenC on Oct 21, 2002

.

... in response to Re: Methods & luck, posted by KenC on Oct 21, 2002

Thanks Ken - a helpful reminder never hurts.

... in response to Methods, posted by hockeybrain on Oct 21, 2002

First off, I recommend more white space in your post ;-)

Well... if I remember... you have mainly gone over and had an agency assist you. Right?

Didn't you use Mordison, and then some agency in Tver?

I guess you need to look at it, and ask yourself a questino:

"I went over, and it didn't work... meaning that I didn't find anyone. Is this because I was just unlucky, or is there a problem with the system I'm using?"

I want to re-emphasize that luck has a lot to do with this. Just because you went to a city and came back single doesn't mean that there was anything wrong with your methods, or with the city you went to.

If I remember correctly, didn't you meet someone that seemed at first to be a good match, but then later you decided against it? (You'll have to forgive me... I can't remember all of the details of your posts...)

If you went over and found a sincere woman...and in the end it just wasn't quite right... why wouldn't you go back and try it again?

Seems to me that all any "method" can produce is a sincere woman in whom you are interested. After that, I think it is a matter of luck. Sometimes, you're just not lucky.

I've compared this before to playing Blackjack.

The odds are against you. If you play a system, your odds increase. But sometimes you get a sixteen when the dealer's showing a ten, and you have to fold.

No system is going to change that...

... in response to Re: Methods, posted by MarkInTx on Oct 21, 2002

I am cautious and have tried the long term problem agency

owned by the Woodchuck in Tver without success as well as

Mordins@n / AFA socials and Anastasia socials as well as a

small agency out of Sochi, now called Love4life.  LTP is a

good agency who I was totally disappointed with because

there really were none of what I wanted.  I found a girl

with a kid anyway, even though I did not want it, and

ultimately parted ways with her.  With Mordins@ns I just

felt I found a girl who was too young and most likely a

sophisticated scammer - just not right to take a chance on

her.  The Sochi girl I met again in Moscow and she fell

apart on that second meeting because she decided that I was

now a "rich American," and wanted to spend my money like

water.  Before going on my first social with AFA I wrote

alot of women - turned out to be a waste of time.  I did

the same prior to going over to LTP - waste of time as I

did with Mordins@ns.  I did an intro letter prior to going

to Sochi which was ok.  So, I think an intro letter /

positive response and go over is the best I can stomach

with letter writing.  I think that relatively new agencies

in smaller / less fished out ponds is the smart way to

approach the pursuit.  I agree alot of luck is involved.  

You can meet what you think is the girl for you, but only

time will tell if the hand you dealt yourself was a correct

one.

... in response to Re: Re: Methods, posted by hockeybrain on Oct 21, 2002

Nice white space :-)

(Not quite what I meant... )

Well... sounds like you have tried the Agency approach, and found it wanting.

Personally, I had the same opinion of writing women from the catalog that you did. The only one I had good success with was: www.artsalon.as. At least you didn't have to pay for each address.

It seems like the best option for you -- if you don't like writing ladies from the catalogs, and you don't want to use an agency -- would be a personal ad.

Personally, I think they are the best bang for your buck. And, I'm not just saying that because that's how I met Victoria... That's also how I met Maria.

I never met anyone that interested me any other way than a personal ad.

You probably saw the flame war below where a lot of options were thrown out for personal ads, so I won't bother reposting it here.

Good luck to you!

BTW, with the current political situation in Russia, and the problems with the Moscow embassy, I think I would focus on Ukraine if I were you. I mean, let us all HOPE that Moscow gets things squared away soon. But, if I were open to looking anywhere, I think I woul dstay away from Russia right now...

... in response to Hehehe... I guess  deserved that, posted by MarkInTx on Oct 21, 2002

I appreciate your advice.  It is a shame many of the attacks against you and others on this board are personal as opposed to attacks on ideas.  That is what I am trying to get started again with this post - attack approach / ideas for people who have not yet been successful.  Of course I wish you and your wife to be the best!