Planet-Love.com Searchable Archives

Greetings All...

I've been reading your stories, comments and opinions for a time and decided to jump in.  I wonder what a discussion in the same room with 30 or 40 of you would be like....laughter, learning, some arguments, and maybe a little blood, but fun.  Mind you opinions are like @ss holes, and everyone has one.  I'll give you mine.

Although I have never had a problem getting a date, I am also disappointed with females in this country for all the reasons you have mentioned.  I certainly don't hate them, and there are some wonderful ones, but I think maybe I can do better.

Yoe/Joe put it best...."The FSU is the largest and greatest singles bar in the world, but it will cost you 2 grand to walk in the door."
The thought of being able to play "Mr. potato head" by designing your dream girl was intriguing.  You want a 33 yr old, 5'8" blond blue eyed doctor from Minsk?  Dial it in, and hit search!  I tend to be happiest with someone close to my age who has lived a bit as I have, and have sought out such a girl.  Also, having been through a divorce that took 3 years, I tend to err on the side of caution.  A Ukrainian girl that I spent 10 days with could not believe I didn't ask her to marry me.  I was amazed, and asked her what her friends and family would think.

I don't argue with those who go this route, however.  But I do think this is akin to true Russian Roulette, and possibly being set up for a hurting.  But I wish you all well.  LP, who some of you love, some hate, also tends to err on the side of caution, with much experience in meeting, dating, and traveling to where you are going or have gone.  When he becomes caustic, he apologises....sometines.  When he says he has 20 female FSU friends who have laid out the game they are able to play, this is quite useful information.  I certainly listen.

Since I once flew to London to drive and possibly purchase a rare race car, I never thought twice about going to Budapest for a dinner date, and now I'm in the game...not very smart, but working on it.

Tell you more later if you want to hear.

Globetrotter

... in response to Jumping In......and LP, posted by Globetrotter on Sep 22, 2002

I liked the search features just as you do.  I especially like weeding out the smokers, short ladies, and old ladies right off the bat.  But there are certain things that can't be selected in the search engines.  And many times I found myself thinking if I could just take that ladies personality and that other ladies upper body, and that other ladies face, and that other ladies eyes, and so on and put them all together, then I would really have something fantastic.

... in response to Jumping In......and LP, posted by Globetrotter on Sep 22, 2002

....Good luck to you. As a fellow globetrotter, I hear ya.

Interesting you should remember about my girl "friends" in the FSU, you must have done some research. I can tell you that they have been a great source of enlightenment for me, although they have tended to bias my opinions somewhat. I continue to speak to a few and even make new ones on occasion. When they realize the ball is outta play they can be a source of great truth. I don't do it much these days as the little woman would castrate me for such activity.

Whats also interesting is that many I meet have been in it long enough to have friends who've come to the USA and married. The rough data indicates that most of their girlfriends are not happy in these marriages.

Why? Sor far it's mostly complaints about the men, a few about the culture. I think the men involved are the types Zink and Ken mentioned, which I believe to be the largest percentage involved in MOB. They do tell me some are happy but when I probe deeper I usually find they've not been here long and are still in the "wonderland" mode. I also try to ascertain how long they knew each other, how many meetings, how quickly the deal was done. (Can't draw conclusions without knowing some basic stats.)  

This small sampling always reveals the same thing. 80% of these guys marry the girls after a few months of correspondence and one trip. As Oscar stated, infatuation is the best stupid pill known. Fwiw, I think love is just as bad and knowing the difference between the two isn't easy for the "infatuatee". Love certainly has greater rewards. I do agree with others here in that some seem absoultely sincere and of high quality so I freely admit I'm not immune to how alluring these women can be. I personally know a few that I should have snatch up in a heartbeat. The problem is I don't do things in a heartbeat, so thats the price I paid. The irony is the one I did choose after some effort simply couldn't measure up to the local talent.

As for me apologizing, that happens only when I'm having a bad day and go off on somebody for no reason. I don't have many bad days so I feel that doesn't happen often. (Although our fine Guvmint and the events of 9-11 often make life stressful for me.) Otherwise I try to use equal force and the rest is just my normal buzz and bluntness, which I stand by.

Fwiw, I think if you got most of us together it would be just fine. This medium is not great at effective communication and offers only a glimpse of the complex personalities involved. (They might string me up in the Lone Star state however ;-) Most guys here have something to offer. Old Zink up North for example, he's no dummy. Anyone with the ability to look inside like that will do just fine. When we can't decide, listen to the little man we all have living inside us, the little man knows all.

... in response to Re: Jumping In......and LP, posted by LP on Sep 22, 2002

Thanks LP for the response.  I read all archives I thought were revelant, which took 4 days.  I was curious as to what you people were doing, and what may improve my outcome.  Tis a very, very dangerous game we play.  To avoid the minefields is sometimes difficult when the heart and head play with each other.  In business, I always say, "Look at the way things really are, as opposed to the way you would like them to be."  I also ask myself what my competitors are able to do, and what they are likely to do.  If one carries out these two thoughts in personal relationships, sometimes decisions will be different than when in the infatuation stage.    

I personally think that if you are successful with girls here, you might be there.  I think that you probably start out with a little better stock over there...if you choose very, very well.  Then they become "Americanized" which could be a nice change from what they have known, which one would hope they would appreciate.  On the other hand, we know how little difference there is between love and utter hate.

Caution, caution, caution.  I adore my squeeze from Russia.  I ask her everything.  I've seen her in action.  She is the best Mom.  I wouldn't mind being second best to a 7 year old, plus it would give her something to do, and worry about.  Other things might fall into place.  We will see, as I worry about everything, as I should.  

You are a good person, opinionated, sometimes nasty, (no need) probably smart, probably have more money than you should have, and in possession of much knowledge others should probably heed.  And if you wrote more letters like you wrote to me, your word would spread.  

Not that you need advice, but as a karate master would say...I will train you how to fight.  I will make you so tough, you will probably never have to fight again in your lifetime, but if you do, you will kill.  So, use the training you get with the greatest of care.

Regards,

Globetrotter

PS: Have you ever been to Chittagong, Timbuktu, Colombo, Doha, Tehran, Peshawar, Kabul?(busride from Peshawar)

... in response to Thanks LP, posted by Globetrotter on Sep 22, 2002

.......Yikes, ya got me there. Those be some neat places you've tramped. Looks like you've racked up lots of flight time. (Me too, but I have the better seat ;-)

For me it's been most of the Orient, South America (Brazil, Peru, Equador), most of Europe, Indonesia, Vietnam, Thailand, China, Taiwan, Japan, etc. Lots of Carribean, BWI, USVI, Turks and Caicos, etc. Only Middle East has been Tehran (back when the Shah was runnin the show), Egypt, Syria (not by my choice) and Israel. Kabul? Nope, thats crazier than I am.

Spain (oh, the chicks there!), some of the Med (Cyprus, Turkey, Greece) along with South Africa. Of course Ukraine, Russia and Poland. Some of the Med places were to meet FSU girls, not cheap but a good time. I like those darn Canucks and their country too. Missing and on the list? Central America, Germany (never made it outside the airport), Russian Far East (Validvostok is a must see, right RW?), India and Cambodia.

I had developed a taste for the South Pacific but that wore thin. I'm looking for more off the path stuff these days, like some of where you've been. Russia still beckons, at least out in the sticks. Would take years to see all I want in the FSU. "Education and travel are two of the grandest pursuits in life." (Samuel Clemens, I think).

Sorry, nasty is required at times. I try to save it for those who ask. Good person? Could do better. Smart? Well, lots of technical crap and a fair amount of street. Need more tact and less cynicism. (My posts are too long also ;-)

More money? Maybe, but thats because I dislike working and live way below my means so as to retire early. Been doing that a long time. Remember it isn't what you make, it's what you keep. In my case that translates into lots of disposable but the toys just eat it up. Besides, how much is too much? ;-)

I used to write more like you suggest but its tough to reach some folks. They're all different here and its all based on their experiences at the time. Hard to be objective when you've just met the most beautiful girl you'll likely ever be with or panting away waiting for a K1 approval. Or, at the other end, you've just been badly scammed. Fact is, we're all in the same boat (at different times) and I wish them all well. (Even my bud Mark) I just try to get them to narrow their vision enough to see through the fog that can move in under certain "conditions". Me thinks you'll do well. Your approach is logical, thoughtful and yet not too paranoid. I hope after you clinch the deal you'll remain to tell the flock how it's going and what you've learned.

After all, not much need to worry about what goes right in these deals, it's what goes wrong that matters. As Ken said, time is the key. Through time we know people and even that doesn't always work. Like Ken, I maintain these relationships should be treated no differently than domestic ones except for the distances involved. Add in the cultural aspects, etc, and one had better have good eye sight. But thats tough to do when one's soul is fighting off loneliness, and loneliness can kill as effectively as your karate master.

Anywho, I'm gone for another few weeks carting all your sorry azzes around the country. Better smile at me when you get off, looks like we're gonna be deputized and start packing heat soon. Or even worse, I'll leave you in someplace like Youngstown. ;-)

... in response to Timbuktu?....., posted by LP on Sep 22, 2002

Gary...contribute more, even though you are not in the mix anymore, and are happy, married, and somewhat sedated in your new bliss.  

Everyone enjoys your diatribe.  You offer much.  Even your best friend "Mark."  I can remember everything he wrote, and appreciate everything he brings to the party, his enthusiasm, the love for his girl, how positive he is, his dreams and expectations, his plans, how he will make it work.  This is wonderful.  

My Mom dated my Dad for 3 weeks before he shipped out to the Pacific for 3 years.  He was a Lt. Commander on a tanker
which was a floating gas station.  They wrote every day for all the time he was at war.  They married one month after he returned, and had 6 kids...me in the middle, and are married for 57 years, and still in love.  I just love, love stories.  

No Vietnam, China, Peru or Equador in my past itinerary, but everywhere else.  

Love is where you find it.  From the time of written, recorded history (caveman drawings on cave walls) men have offered protection and posessions for the use of a womb.  Not much has changed.  Indians and the Muslim world still have most marriages arranged by a family member, and they seem to work....not my choice.  (Don't trust my Mom.)

Lighten up, contribute more, make peace with Mark.  You're a good person, and I certainly appreciate everything I have learned from you.  Tell us more.

Ps:  And my boxing coach was Tony Zale...the man of steel from Gary Indiana.

... in response to Re: Jumping In......and LP, posted by LP on Sep 22, 2002

LP,
As usual, I agree with your point of view.  Much has been made here of how many women a man must meet before choosing.  Less has been said about the amount of time a couple should spent together before taking their vows.  I think there is no substitution for the time necessary to make such a commitment.  I always had my "six month rule" in the back of my mind while getting to know Lena.  (I maintain that it takes a minimum of six months to really know your partner.  Of course there are no absolutes, but I found this to be true in dating AW.  Inevitably, the "real" person is exposed in that time frame)  The 90 days allowed by a K-1 is not long enough in my opinion.  Multiple trips to see the SAME woman and vigorous communication is a must.
KenC