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Hi everyone. People always ask me why I'm single so I started keeping track of my dating memoirs over a 9 month period.Including the girls name,her age,her description,and what transpired. I am putting it on this board for your entertainment. Now you know why I'm going to a foreign country. Enjoy :)

1) CHRISTIE--------------------24 yrs old----------------------------------- SHORT CUTE BLONDE, HAS A RESEMBLANCE TO TONYA HARDING, HAS 1 CHILD….MET HER AT THE BAR WHEN I WENT OUT WITH MY FRIENDS TONY AND DAMON…SHE WAS VERY FRIENDLY …..CALLED HER ..NEVER HEARD BACK FROM HER

2) NATALIE ------------------ 19 yrs old------------------CUTE BLONDE… HAD A LOT OF FUN DANCING ALL NIGHT …CALLED HER AND NEVER HEARD FROM HER ….SEEN HER OUT A WEEK LATER AND SHE SAID “ OH YEAH I GOT YOUR MESSAGE, I WAS GOING TO CALL YOU “

3) RAMIE --------------------- 23 yrs old --------------- PETITE LONG HAIR BRUNETTE…I’VE ACTUALLY KNOWN THIS ONE FOR ABOUT A YEAR ,…JUST BROKE UP W/ HER BOYFRIEND ….HAD FUN DANCING …SAID SHE WAS LOOKING FOR A NEW DANCE PARTNER..GAVE ME HER NUMBER, I CALLED HER, NEVER HEARD FROM HER

4) JESSICA ------------------ 22 ------------------- PETITE VERY ATTACTIVE, STRAWBERRY BLONDE,COLLEGE STUDENT …………KNOW HER THRU SWING DANCING …SHE USED TO DATE A FRIEND OF MINE………… CALLED HER AND INVITED HER OUT…….. SAID SHE WAS TOO BUSY…….HAVE SEEN HER OUT SEVERAL TIMES SINCE

5) KIMBERLY------------------ 26 -------------------- BRUNETTE, CUTE, WEARS GLASSES, ATHLETIC FIGURE, ACCOUNTANT, DANCED WITH HER ALL NIGHT..SHE MADE ME PROMISE THAT I WOULD TAKE HER OUT DANCING. …CALLED HER 3 TIMES. …EACH TIME SHE SAID SHE DIDN’T KNOW HER SCHEDULE AND TO CALL BACK…. I FINALLY GAVE UP

6) ANGIE ------------------------ 21 ---------------------- CUTE YOUNG BLONDE ,NICE SMILE …MET HER AT A PIZZA JOINT ….. FINALLY ASKED HER OUT, SHE SOUNDED EXCITED.. WHEN I CALLED HER THE DAY OF THE DATE TO CONFIRM SHE CANCELLED (SHE HAD TO HELP OUT A FRIEND)

7) SARAH ------------------------ 32 ------------------------- TALL ATTRACTIVE BLONDE ………HAD FUN DANCING WITH THIS GIRL …….. WE AGREED TO GO OUT AND EXCHANGED NUMBERS….CALLED HER, NEVER HEARD FROM HER
8) ERICA -------------------------- 20 -------------------------- TALL ATTRACTIVE BLONDE, WE DANCED, HAD FUN, ………SHE ACTUALLY CALLED ME FIRST …WE MADE A DATE ……SHE CANCELLED THE DAY OF THE DATE (SHE WASN’T FEELING WELL)

9) BRIDGETTE ------------------- .27 -------------------------- REDHEAD, CUTE..HAD FUN DANCING W/HER …..EXCHANGED NUMBERS, CALLED… NEVER HEARD FROM HER

10) MARIAM ----------------------- 38 -------------------------- SLIM BRUNETTE ,HISPANIC(NO KIDS) ……….THIS ONE ACTUALLY, RETURNED MY CALL , MADE A DATE AND SHOWED UP ! ,… UPDATE..HAD A 2ND DATE W/MIRIAM ( A LUNCH DATE) DURING LUNCH , I ASKED HER OUT FOR THE WEEKEND AND SHE THEN TOLD ME THAT SHE HAD JUST GOTTEN BACK W/ HER EX-BOYFRIEND OVER THE WEEKEND

11) GAIL -------------------------- 34 -------------------------- ITALIAN, HYPERACTIVE, ATHLETIC BUILT , HAS A 14 YR OLD PROBLEM CHILD SON.,WORKS IN MY REAL ESTATE OFFICE ……..WE MADE A DINNER DATE, SHE CALLED ME AND CONFIRMED THE DAY OF THE DATE …SHE NEVER SHOWED UP……I ATE BY MYSELF…..UPDATE…SHE FINALLY CALLED ME…5 MONTHS LATER…SHE SAID SHE WAS TOO EMABARESD TO CALL…IT TOOK HER ALL THESE MONTHS TO GET UP THE NERVE TO CALL; HER STORY WAS THAT ON THE NIGHT OF THE DATE HER EX –BOYFRIEND SHOWED UP AND THEY GOT IN A FIGHT…SAID SHE WOULD MAKE IT UP TO ME AND THAT I SHOULD CALL HER THIS WEEK TO SEE IF WE COULD GET TOGETHER THIS WEEKEND….YEAH RIGHT

12) MELINA---------------------- 40 --------------------------MEDIUM LENGH BRUNETTE HAIR, VERY NICE PHYSIQUE, SEXY, HISPANIC, MASSAGE THERAPIST ... I NORMALLY DON’T GO AFTER 40 SOMETHINGS BUT IN MELINA’S CASE I’LL MAKE AN EXCEPTION…. MET HER AT SALSA, EXCHANGED #’S…CALLED HER LATER AND INVITED HER TO A DANCE; SHE SAID “ OH I’M ALREADY GOING TO THAT DANCE” SHE DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING LIKE “ WELL MAYBE ANOTHER TIME” SO I DECIDED TO FORGET ABOUT THIS ONE..I’VE SEEN HER OUT A FEW TIMES SINCE.

13) KATHERINE--------------------- 27----------------------- LONG BLONDE HAIR, SHE COULD PASS FOR 21. I RECENTLY MET HER OUT AND GOT HER NUMBER AND AM SCHEDULED TO CALL HER NEXT WEEK..WHO KNOWS… UPDATE: THE BIG DAY CAME AND I CALLED. AFTER SOME SMALL TALK I PROCEEDED TO SEE IF SHE WANTED TO GET TOGETHER..HER RESPONSE…..”OH WELL I ACTUALLY HAVE A BOYFRIEND” “SORRY ABOUT THAT” AND I’M THINKING WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU HANG WITH AND GIVE YOUR # OUT TO SOME DUDE WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE A BOYFRIEND. WHAT DOES SHE THINK IF A GUY MEETS HER AND ASKS FOR HER NUMBER HE’S JUST LOOKING FOR OCCASIONAL PHONE CHAT. THESE CHICKS ARE SOMETHING ELSE.

14) JODYANN------------------------ 31 ----------------------- LONG HAIR TO THE MIDDLE OF HER BACK, VERY PETITE (ABOUT 5’0 AND 105LBS), ATTRACTIVE, HISPANIC…MY TENANTS ACTUALLY INTRODUCED ME TO THIS ONE …… I HAVEN’T MET HER IN PERSON, BUT HAVE HAD SEVERAL PHONE CONVERSATIONS W/HER, HER EX BOYFRIEND OF 11 YRS WAS A PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL PLAYER.I’M NOT SURE I’M COMFORTABLE W/THAT……… TOO EARLY TO TELL WHAT MAY HAPPEN.
UPDATE…. FINALLY MADE A DATE FOR THIS FRIDAY WE’LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS I GUESS..UPDATE: WE HAD PLANNED SEVERAL DATES OVER THE COURSE OF SEVERAL WEEKS AND SHE CANCELLED ALL OF THEM DUE TO VARIOUS TRIVIAL REASONS. I HUNG IN THERE BECAUSE I WAS DETERMINED TO MEET HER. SHE FINALLY MADE IT TO A DATE (SALSA DANCING) SHE WAS VERY ATTRACTIVE AND SHE KNOWS IT. SHE WAS VERY MUCH THE FLIRTY BAR FLY TYPE..SHE FELT THE NEED TALK AND CHAT WITH ANYONE AROUND US. THE MORE ALCOHOL SHE HAD THE MORE ANIMATED SHE BECAME.WE ACTUALLY DID HAVE CHEMISTRY ON THIS DATE ANDS SHE WAS SOMEWHAT AFFECTIONATE (COULD HAVE BEEN THE BEER WHO KNOWS) AFTER THE DATE I TOOK HER HOME AND WALKED HER TO HER TO THE DOOR.AS WE WHERE WALKNG UP THE STAIRS SHE TURNED AROUND AND A PROLONGED KISS ENSUED.
I WAS LIKE “RIGHT ON JACKPOT”! AFTER THE KISS WE MADE A DATE FOR THE NEXT DAY (TO THE DRIVE-IN).I SKIPPED HAPPILY BACK TO MY CAR WELL THE NEXT DAY SHE CALLED TO TELL ME THAT SHE WAS WITH FAMILY ALL DAY AND WAS WORE OUT, BUT COULD WE GET TOGETHER TOMMORROW AND GO TO DINNER…OF COURSE I SAID YES…THEN NEXT DAY SHE CALLED AND SAID SHE HAD A LOT OF THINGS TO DO IN PREPARATION OF FOR WORK THE FOLLOWING DAY SO SHE WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO MAKE IT BUT SHE WANTED TO GO THE MOVIES THE NEXT DAY..SHE CALLED THE NEXT DAY THAT WORK WAS VERY STRESSFUL SO WANTED TO CANCEL ON THE MOVIES..SAID SHE WOULD CALL IN A COUPLE DAYS SO WE COULD GET TOGETHER..SHE DIDN’T CALL BACK FOR A WEEK AND A HALF..SHE APOLOGIZED PROFUSELY (SAID SHE HAD BEEN BUSY WITH FRIENDS) ..CONCLUSION: SHE’S PRETTY AND KNOWS IT AND IS USED TO DOING WHATEVER SHE WANTS WHEN GUYS ARE CONCERNED AND THEY ARE PROBABLY LIKE LITTLE PUPPY DOGS WITH HER. WELL ITS NOT GOING TO WORK WITH ME. I WON’T BE CALLING HER BACK. I WISH HER THE BEST

15) MELANIE-------------------------- 26------------------------- NATURAL BLONDE HAIR, SCHOOL TEACHER, WHOLESOME INDIANA FARM GIRL, ATHLETIC, …JUST GOT HER # …AM SCHEDULED TO CALL HER THIS WEEK TO GO OUT SWING DANCING….I GUESS WE’LL SEE…. UPDATE…. CALLED HER, SHE ACTUALLY CALLED BACK AND WE MADE A DATE. CALLED ME THE DAY OF THE DATE AND CANCELLED DUE TO THE FACT THAT SHE JUST HAD JUST MET A GUY AND SHE DECIDED THAT SHE WANTED TO BE EXCLUSIVE W/HIM. 2ND TIME THIS WEEK I’VE LOST OUT TO OTHER GUYS

16) MEGAN ----------------------------19 --------------------------VERY PETITE VERY CUTE, BLONDE NECK LENGH HAIR COLLEGE FRESHMAN AT CU, MATURE … RECENTLY GOT HER NUMBER, AM SUPPOSED TO CALL HER AND GO SALSA DANCING…WE’LL SEE

17) KRISTINE -------------------------27 ------------------------- SHORT, PETITE GIRL, VERY CURLY, THICK, SHOULDER LENGH DARK,OLIVE COMPLECTION. LOOKS JEWISH OR MAYBE ITALIAN, KINDA CUTE, NATIVE NEW YORKER,..WENT OUT TO COFFEE WITH MUTUAL FRIENDS.SHE WAS MAINLY QUIET THE WHOLE TIME…FOUND OUT A COUPLE OF DAYS LATER THRU A MUTUAL FRIEND THAT I WASN’T HER TYPE

18) ANDREA--------------------------29 -------------------------NATURAL BLONDE HAIR, BLUE EYES, ATTRACTIVE, WELL BUILT, MASSAGE THERAPIST IN DOWNTOWN DENVER, MET HER AT SALSA, GOT HER NUMBER; CALLED, SHE SAID SHE DIDN’T REMEMBER GIVING ME HER NUMBER BUT SHE SAID SHE REMEMBERED WHO I WAS AND SHE AGREED TO GO OUT. OUR DATE IS FOR THIS THURSDAY. SHE SOUNDS PRETTY NONCHALANT AND APATHETIC SO THIS COULD VERY WELL BE A WASTE OF A PERFECTLY GOOD THURSDAY NIGHT…………..SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE…SHE SHOWED UP…SHE WAS 45 MINUTES LATE, BUT AT LEAST SHE MADE IT I GUESS..LETS SEE HOW DID THE DATE GO…WELL SHE WAS SOMEWHAT ATTENTIVE TO ME.AND THERE WAS POSSIBLY SOME CHEMISTRY (ALTHOUGH IT COULD HAVE JUST BEEN THE ALCOHOL; WE HAD QUITE A FEW) ……I’M DEFINITLEY ATTRACTED TO AND LIKE THIS ONE. (MAYBE ITS BECAUSE I’M JUST NOT ACCUSTOMED TO GOING OUT ON DATES WITH ATTRACTIVE BLONDES) I’VE BEEN ADVISED BY AT LEAST 1 FRIEND THAT I SHOULD JUST BLOW HER OFF (IF SHE WASN’T FULLY ATTENTIVE THEN IT JUST ISN’T GOING TO BE THERE) HOWEVER WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO MY FRIENDS; I WILL ASK HER OUT ON ANOTHER DATE…. THAT WAY NO ONE CAN SAY, “ YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED HER OUT AGAIN”! I SHALL LEAVE NO STONE UNTURNED!!!..UPDATE: WENT OUT WITH HER AGAIN SHE WAS PRETTY DISTANT. I THINK SHE JUST WANTS SOMEONE TO HANG OUT WITH. HAVEN’T HEARD FROM HER FOR SEVERAL WEEKS NOW

19) JENNY --------------------------32--------------------------------BRUNETTE, PROLIFIC NOSE, OPERA SINGER, NICE APPEARANCE, I ACTUALLY MET THIS ONE A YEAR AND A HALF AGO.I DISCOVERED THAT SHE HAS BROKEN UP W/HER BOYFRIEND AND IS NOW SINGLE. MUTUAL FRIENDS TOLD HER THAT I WANTED TO TALK TO HER SO SHE GAVE THEM HER # TO GIVE TO ME. CALLED 3-4 DAYS AGO STILL NO RESPONSE. UPDATE. SURPRISE, SHE CALLED BACK WE’RE GOING TO LUNCH NEXT WEEK….UPDATE ACTUALLY DATED THIS ONE FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS… KIND OF FIZZLED OUT …SHE CALLED ME ABOUT 4 WKS INTO IT AND SAID THAT SHE JUST WANTED TO REMAIN FRIENDS (SHE DIDN’T FEEL WE HAD THAT MUCH IN COMMON)

20) BARBARA--------------------29------------------------------------PLATINUM BLONDE, LARGE CLEAR BLUE EYES, ATHLETIC, VERY ATTRACTIVE..THIS IS AN INTERESTING ONE. I USED TO DATE HER OLDER SISTER WHEN I WAS 19 YRS OLD. SHE HAD A HUGE CRUSH ON ME AT THE TIME.FOUND HER ON THE INTERNET. SHE SAID SHE WAS SINGLE AND HAD BROKEN UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND.WE MADE A LUNCH DATE.WE HIT IT OFF VERY WELL. SHE BEGAN TO CALL SEVERAL TIMES A DAY AND WE BEGAN TO GO OUT TO LUNCH EVERYDAY. I WAS THINKING WOW, THIS IS GREAT. THIS IS PROBABLY THE MOST INTENSE FEELINGS I’VE EXPERIENCED RIGHT OFF THE BAT FOR MAYBE 7 YRS. I WAS IN HEAVEN. ALL OF A SUDDEN AND WITHOUT NOTICE SHE QUIT CALLING .I LEFT A MESSAGE OR 2 AND NO RETURN CALL. SHE FINALLY CALLED AND SAID SHE HADN’T CALLED BECAUSE SHE WAS HAVING A TOUGH TIME AT WORK AND SHE HAD TOO MANY THINGS GOING ON IN HER PERSONAL LIFE. SAID SHE WOULD CALL LATER. NEVER HEARD FROM HER. CONCLUSION…SHE GOT BACK TOGETHER WITH HER EXBOYFRIEND

This list is only part of the picture. To even get these 20 contacts I had to screen maybe 60 women. In other words there were 60 women that I found attractive and approached them .Out of the 60 these 20 were the ones remaining that:
A) Were not married
B) Did not have a boyfriend or any type of romantic relationship
C) Were emotionally available (i.e. I’m not looking to go out,(or date ) right now)
D) Did not have any obvious character or personality problems
E) Even talked to or acknowledged me period

And out of these 20 contacts there is 5 actual dates here.None resulting in a love connection.So as it stands I’m 5 for 60 right now ( 5 dates out of 60 prospects) I’m really looking forward to my next 60 prospects!

... in response to My American Dating Journal, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

So when are you leaving for Ukraine/Russia/anywherebuthere??
LOL!!

I have no doubt that you could do much better in the FSU than what you have described here!  I listen to a story like yours and I just have a sigh of relief that I am not doing it anymore, that I have (as many guys here have) found a lovely Ukrainian girl with some real family values..

Best of luck..

Oscar

... in response to Re: My American Dating Journal, posted by Oscar on Aug 16, 2002

Believe me Oscar I have plans in the works to leave.

... in response to My American Dating Journal, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

it sounds like you were hanging out a club also, not the best place.  I have heard many of the same things also. It did make me laugh though.

... in response to Re: My American Dating Journal, posted by snowwego on Aug 16, 2002

Glad you liked it snowego my friends were just rolling when they read it :)

... in response to My American Dating Journal, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

One other thing.   Perhaps Blonde  is not for you.

Robert D.

... in response to Re: My American Dating Journal, posted by Robert D on Aug 16, 2002

American blondes definitley not

... in response to My American Dating Journal, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

Well I admire you for hanging in there.   I do not think I could handle so many rejections.

Robert D.

... in response to Re: My American Dating Journal, posted by Robert D on Aug 16, 2002

You're right robert. Its bruising to the ego after a while. You can only take so much rejection. My only consolation is that I got to put together this entertaining journal for my friends.

... in response to Re: Re: My American Dating Journal, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

well if this can be any encouragment, I always seem to wait to be chosen.   That often meant being with someone I really did not love.   I have been lucky that most have been attractive and nice.  Just something missing.  A few though were down right nuts I later found out, and it was hard to break free.  So I do admire your guts of trying to find that which makes you happy and are willing to pay the cost.   My hat is off to you.

Robert D.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: My American Dating Journal, posted by Robert D on Aug 19, 2002

Yeah I've been down that road(waiting to be chosen). In addition to not finding someone you really love( as you mentioned).I really went for it during the time of my journal as I never wanted to be accused of not trying.
 I really feel waiting for someone to pick you (as many of us are forced to do)can be a humiliating, demasculinizing experience.Kind of turns us into meek little puppies.I'm soo thankful to the man upstatirs,that I have an option to go abroad.

                     Nico

... in response to Demasculinization, posted by Nico on Aug 20, 2002


What are your plans?

... in response to So... when are you going?, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 20, 2002

Well you know I was originally going to the FSU. I even took several weeks of Russian lessons which I was picking up very well( I already am trilingual).I find the Russian women highly attractive.
Well, to be honest with you I'm kind of afraid of the Rusian women now. I would say of the 3 major areas of finding a wife (Far East,South America, Eastern Europe)you hear more horror stories (i.e. scammers,divorces ect.) from the FSU. I am also aware of more divorced Russian women than of these other races.I don't know,what do you think about that?
On top of that I have 2 friends here in Denver one of which is married to a Colombian and the 2nd is bringing over a Cuban. They both worked on me and convinced me to go to Latin America last December. Even though I didn't meet one I wanted to marry,it was still just incredible. I'm just itching to leave the U.S. again. I have to wait and close a Real Estate deal 1st though.

... in response to My Plans, posted by Nico on Aug 20, 2002

Well, I went to Brazil.

The women were incredible and I had a wonderful time.

I think that the main difference is one of eductation and culture... The women from the FSU are, on the whole, more likely to be college educated.

As for looks, I won't get into that. Everyone has their preferences, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all.

I was actually in Brazil when I got my email from Ukraine, which eventually led to my engagement. (I, too, had "given up" on the FSU for many of the reasons you mentioned...)

I would say that the FSU scene does have a much higher incidence of "scammers."

On the other hand, I don't think I woudl want to go through a divorce with a Latina! From what I've heard... you have NO IDEA what the term "a woman scorned" means until you have seen a Latina in that role!

... in response to Re: My Plans, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 20, 2002

I am on the floor in pain I laugh so hard.  Well let me say from experience, Latin women love with great passion.  They hate with even more passion.   I could not sleep well if I thought that one was still angry with me.    I would have to make up before bedtime or go to a hotel.   I have been to Cuba, and can tellyou there are many beautiful women there.  The poverty in Havana is much worse than in Russia, but one thing is very different,   the people smile there.  Women are more open it seems.  
Robert d.

... in response to My American Dating Journal, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

Interesting...

But your profile says that you are 45?

You really expected a 19 year old to call you back?

As far as that goes, I was told by a really pretty woman once that if a guy asks her for number, she almost always gives it to him (unless she gets creepy feelings from him). It's easier than saying no.

Women don't LIKE shooting guys down. Most girls are uncomfortable doing it. So, they just give the number. And don't return the call. After a while, the guy gets the message.

That's what I have been told by a few women...

(Which is why I never try to pick up a woman at a club...)

I'm not saying DON'T go to the FSU or Colombia, or whatever.

I'm just saying that just because a girl gives you her number, it doesn't mean that she doesn't want to go out with you.

As for the pretty women who consider themselves God's Gift To Men... yeah... they basically are "any port in the storm" kinda gals. A kiss from them means nothing more than you were the best they could do at the time...

My experience... FWIW.

... in response to Re: My American Dating Journal, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 16, 2002

MarkinTx. My profile doesn't say my age.It says "Total number of posts" .....45. (I'm 35)
You missed my point entirely. My whole point here is not why I struck out or what these girls meant or why they did what they did. My point is to say how bad the American dating scene sucks for the average American male.

                   Nico

... in response to re: My American Dating Journal, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

I understand your interest in younger women. They have a certain appeal sexually/physically. Most AW are really not interested in dating men who are 15+ years older than them. These younger women just want to have fun and are superficial in many ways which at your age you will pick up easily. You'd do better if you stuck within 5 years of you own age rather than going so much younger. I've been reading this board for several years now it is so very interesting how the men here love to bash AW, and how RW/UW are like jewels. I hate to burst the bubble but promiscuity is endemic there. They have one of the world's fastest growing aids rate. Everyone here thinks that all the women there are sitting at home knitting and cooking. I've been to the FSU and Ukraines 4 times already. I will say that the women there are more attractive and definitely thinner (we Americans are an obese society). I am not a fool however and there are numerous alterior motives with these women. One has to sift through the sense and nonsense and not be blinded by physical beauty. There are definately gems there but the same can be said for this country as well. We are products of our society and marketing both the men and women. My advice is to be as cautious there as here and don't propose 2 days after meeting a foreign beauty you truly know nothing about.
Ken

... in response to Re: re: My American Dating Journal, posted by KenB on Aug 17, 2002


Although I don't disagree with the heart of your post.. this one I have to comment on:

"promiscuity is endemic there. They have one of the world's fastest growing aids rate..."

First, I don't think that promiscuity is ENDEMIC, which means that it is peculiar to a region... such as a tropical disease being endemic to a tropical region...

I would say that promiscuity ranges far and wide, and is not endemic to the FSU, but rather can be found almost anywhere. (Certainly Brazil would give Russia a run for its money, for instance...)

I would also say that the women I have met from the FSU were not MORE promiscuous than their American counterparts...

True, if you go over with the sole intent of getting laid, then you will... but the same can be said for any Saturday night here in the states. I'm not sure I buy that the FSU women have the market cornered on promiscuity.

Secondly, although AIDS is on the rise -- based on percentage of NEW cases reported -- in Russia, the culprit is drugs, not sex, as reported in the St. Petersburg newspaper.

Interestingly enough, they came to the same conclusion that you did: They blamed sex. The person interviewed stated that 10% of the AIDS related cases were due to sex, and yet when asked for a solution, her first response was: "Well, we need better sex education in the schools, obviously..."

No comment on a plan to stop the 80% which was being spread by intravenous drug users...

Don't mean to go off on a rant... but it's a pet peeve of mine.

The fact is that men and women having sex has not been a major contributor to the spread of AIDS anywhere... And yet that is where everyone wants to spend all of the time and money trying to "fight" AIDS...

But, "Maybe that's just me" (As Dennis Miller says after his rants...

... in response to One Point, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 17, 2002

I asked my wife about this when I was visiting her in Moscow, was she dating Russian men also? Her answer suprised me.

What she said: I do not have a boyfriend, but the men at my work ask me for sex all of the time...whenever there is a celebration at the office, men and women leave with each other......even happily married men and women have affairs all the time, it is because they are bored...or looking for excitement. My wife did not get caught up in the affair routine because she felt it was not right for her...she only would sleep with someone she thought would be faithful to her.

She told me that when she in highschool...back in Soviet times, girls did not have sex as much as they do now...it was forbidden..but everyone talked about it because of thier curiosity. When she was at Moscow University, things changed....it was like everyone did it with everyone.

After Paristroyka (sp) many women started having babies out of wedlock. Now, she says that girls are having sex at age 13...much too young. It used to be that the older boys were aggressive in wanting sex...now she says the younger girls are the aggressive ones.

... in response to re: My American Dating Journal, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

Are you sure you are not having a mid life crisis and you are looking for the youth that you once had. It sounds as if though you are looking at the outside more than the inside. Think of this beauty is only skin deep but, ugly goes clear to the bone. Look at the heart and think rational. If you go after a young girl she is going to want to party, and you are going to want to settle down. There is a big difference in the maturity level. think about it

... in response to Re: re: My American Dating Journal, posted by snowwego on Aug 16, 2002

You kiddin' me?

He went after all age ranges and got the same sh|t from all of 'em.

I've been in this same position, but maybe it was me or maybe I didn't have hair and didn't drive a porsche and live in a $250,000 house like most here do...

Either way, it's a dam good thing they all sh|t-canned him.  Now he's going after someone that's actually available, blonde or not... and they're probably 10x better for him than any snively waffling idiot non-wife-permanently-divorced-i-wanna-get-laid-only chick he could find here in the usa.

... in response to Rick..., posted by BrianN on Aug 17, 2002


I do have hair...

I don't drive a porsche...

My house is not $250,000...

And I did not date 19 year olds.

Of course, if you adjust for the age difference (I was 40 when dating AWs) I didn't date 24 year olds either. They were fun to watch from a distance, but if I want to have "girl-talk" conversations, I will talk to my 8 year old. Actually, she makes more sense than many of them, who still think that clubbing and "getting wasted" is fun...

I did date some extremely pretty AWs. (All around age 30...)

I don't think any of them were attracted to me because of the Jeep Wrangler I drove at the time -- even though IMHO it is cooler than a Porsche...

Dating them was never the problem. It was finding one that I wanted to marry that was the problem.

I agree that he will have a better class of women to choose from in the FSU (or SOB, for that matter) than the women he has been pursuing here.

But I do wonder about someone who has spent the majority of his dating life trying to hustle young beauties at clubs, and wondering why they wouldn't call him back -- and maybe I'm just an old codger, but that's what his "diary" sounded like to me...

Hey, you can do that in Kiev, too. The Maximum Casino was loaded with young college women on "Ladies Night." They out numbered the men 12 to 1 the night I was there.

I am sure you could go and dance all night with some amazing beauties... and then have a very similar diary after a year...

... in response to Well, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 17, 2002

"Hey, you can do that in Kiev, too. The Maximum Casino was loaded with young college women on "Ladies Night." They out numbered the men 12 to 1 the night I was there.
I am sure you could go and dance all night with some amazing beauties... and then have a very similar diary after a year..."

If he spent a year chasing young dyevs at the Maximum or The Duck, each diary entry would end the same way.

"...and then we went back to my place where the vodka and body fluids flowed freely.  The next morning, she tidied up the place and slipped out quietly while I still slept.  I never saw her again."
(-8

... in response to Re: re: My American Dating Journal, posted by snowwego on Aug 16, 2002

I don't know. Why do you say that?

... in response to re: My American Dating Journal, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002


I did misread.... sorry about that.

(Still think 35 is too old for a 19 year old... but...)

As for the fact that the American dating scene sucks... you will get no argument from me!

Could not agree with you more!

... in response to My Mistake, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 16, 2002

Well Mark it obviously is too young for the standards set forth by American culture. Read this. I posted it before in a different forum in response to an outlash against an agency who advertised introductions with 16 year olds...

About the sixteen year olds.

1st let me say that I generally agree that having the sixteen year olds on the website gives critics of our use of these agencies more ammunition. 2nd of all I think most of us would agree that it would be extremely difficult to make a relation with a girl of that age work in the good old US. American society with its conceptions, values and influences would work strongly against this union.
So is this a bad thing? (Mature men marrying teenage girls) Well it wasn’t until the last maybe 60 years or so that these unions weren’t so uncommon here in the US. I’ll bet that there are men on this site that were born of such a union. Any of you educated, established, decent men in your 30’s and maybe in even 40’s would have been considered a prize catch for a women of that age way back when.
Not anymore. The emphasis for these young ladies now is away from family and motherhood and toward education and career (or maybe partying and sex). Go to any of the nation’s high schools and ask these young ladies what they’d like to do upon graduation. How many of them in these modern times are going to say “Oh I want to be a wife and mother” vs. “Oh I’m going to college to become a such and such?” Or I’m going to work” The college and work females would overwhelmingly outnumber any who want to prioritize family and kids.
Is that good? Well, the good news is we have this highly educated female workforce, and therefore make good use of our female resources. (In the work sense) Maybe it even contributes to this great economy.
I do feel there is a price however:
1)   Divorce with all of its negative effects on our kids and families, is out of control (I could elaborate but in an effort to keep this as short as possible I won’t)
2)    The teenage girl that is discouraged so fervently from marrying an older man (never mind that he is mature, intelligent, established, decent ect) or any good man for that matter, is instead encouraged to go college and move into a dorm with all this great freedom where she can and does very often drink herself half blind every other night and sleep with various partners.

My conclusion is that this union is only bad because American society says its bad. There are pluses and minuses. That same union would often work if one lives in some nations other than the US. As for myself I’m not so gung ho on meeting and marrying a teenager (I’m 35), but it is quiet unnerving when American women say 10yrs younger than you think you’re ancient. It wasn’t that way for my grandfather. No wonder I’m going abroad in search of a wife.

... in response to Re: My Mistake, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002


I think, however, that a teenager is not mature enough to marry.

If I were a teenager, and we were both immature, maybe it would be different (though the potential for disaster would be greater...)

I can't imagine marrying a teenager. Even "just for sex" I can't imagine it. Yes, they have incredible bodies... but sex isn't all about firm breasts and tight skin.

When I think of the lovers I had back then, and compare them to the lovers I had who were in their thirties... it's not even close...

Not that I was Don Juan. So, maybe some guys who were more experienced can tell a different story.And, yes, I think back fondly on my first girlfriend...

But... Marry her?

Nope. I wanted to then, of course...

I know better now...

... in response to Re: My Mistake, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

It's certainly been discussed on this board before but I will give my 2 cents haveing been there 4 times-

If you have a 15 year age difference-
A woman 20 and a man 35
A woman 25 and a man 40

Are they the same??  I would have to say absolutely not!
What woman truly knows her own mind at 20??  There is such a vast difference between 20 and 25 from a growth and maturity standpoint.  
I will say that women in the FSU are typically much more mature than their AW counterparts, because life is much more difficult there, they have to grow up faster just to often survive!  So I feel personally that an FSU woman who is 25 is typically easily as mature as a 30 year old AW.. If she has a child, then even more mature than that..  But to me, a 20 year old is a 20 year old in either culture..

Women in the FSU tend to marry young.. The 25 year olds I met in my experience there, and heard about, were definitely looking to get married and start a family...  Problem is, they can't easily find a RM who has a good enough job (or a job at all) that wants children as they can't afford them!  

If you are 35, I would personally be looking for a woman who is 25+ there, perhaps 23 but only WITH a child.    

Just my 2 cents..

... in response to Nico- My take on age-, posted by Oscar on Aug 17, 2002

Oscar,

Why do you tell Nico to only look for a women "with a child".  Yes, this is OK.

But... the financial responsibilities that go along with bringing a women into this country with a child are staggering if the marriage goes south.

It's not even close to the risks of marrying an American women with a child, it's far worse.

Your new foreign bride can very easily use your support document in family court to force you to pay child support for years and years even if you have only been married a short time.  

So yes, it may be the best decision of your life, or it could put you in the poor house.

I wouldn't ever consider bringing one over with a child.  Not with the screwed up laws that we have currently.

I think many guys that get involved in this have no idea of their potential financial exposure if it doesn't work out.

Wayne

... in response to Re: Nico- My take on age-, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 18, 2002

Wayne,

Do not waste your time talking to an Oscar who needs to spend significant time and money finding himself a good "shrink" to help him with his problems.  Actually, sometimes the Oscar comes out with decent information.  None the less, he is one to just give information.  He is not fit to discuss information.

... in response to Do not waste your time, posted by Bobby Orr on Aug 19, 2002

Sorry you feel that way bobby, because it was good old Wayne who became rude and went postal first.  I respond to people in kind, I don't start the shiit.
Sorry you felt the need to attack me without the facts..  If YOU would like to discuss your issues of blaming without the facts, I would be happy to recommend a good shrink for you!

 

... in response to Re: Do not waste your time, posted by Oscar on Aug 19, 2002

Heaven forbid anyone disagree with the Great Oscar.  Oh.........yeah.  Later

... in response to Yeah, sure, posted by Bobby Orr on Aug 19, 2002

Yeah, that was a great comeback... NOT! LOL!  
I have no problem with people disagreeing Bobby, I only ask that they do it without attacking me personally.  Some people (like yourself) are just unable to do that..

Just let it go..

... in response to Re: Nico- My take on age-, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 18, 2002

Wayne, I didn't, I said that if he wanted to go YOUNGER than 25, to look for a woman with a child, because she will be much more mature through her life experience and likely more ready to settle down.  A woman grows up quite fast when she is responsible for a child.

Regarding your phobia about a woman with a child-
Women with children are much less likely to be scammers than are free wheeling single girls.  They have their child to think of and typically are more family oriented than single girls who just want to play (not that single girls cannot become this as well).  If you look at the scammer pages, 98% of the scammers are single with no children.

If you speak to the many men here who have married women with children (my fiance has a child), you will find that they married their women because they fell in love with them, that the "financial" aspects of what would happen in a divorce was not a motivating factor in their decision and I think any guy who MAKES it a huge factor, should just marry an inflatable doll, because that is the only way to be sure you don't get screwed!  I love the fact that I already KNOW what kind of Mother my girl will be because I have seen her son and how she is raising him, and she is has done and is doing a fantastic job!  Something I would not know about a woman with no child.  Having children and having a great Mother for my children is very important to me, so this was great to learn about her.  I met some other women there who had children and I was NOT always impressed with what I saw, and I was glad to have seen it!

I think you are cutting out a terrific segment of the possiblities there to say you would never consider a woman with a child, but to each their own.  I would much prefer a 28-32 year old woman with a child, than one without because to me it shows she was able to make a committment and what kind of Mother she is.  In the case of my girl (as it is with many women there), the divorce was prompted by very poor choices on the parts of their husbands.  A woman there (or here in the USA) who has never been married or had children at 28+ speaks of possible committment phobia to me and that is a much greater thing to fear in my opinion, than a woman who is a Mother and doing a great job at it!

... in response to Re: Re: Nico- My take on age-, posted by Oscar on Aug 18, 2002

Oscar,

If you really are a psychologist, I think you haved to agree that we may need a few more sessions together for you to decide if I have a "phobia" or not.

I agree with alot of what you say.  If I would have met a really nice women with a child, I would have reconsidered.

But since there are so many women to date, I chose to limit my financial liability in the future by dating childless women who had not been married before.  Yes I may have missed a million or two good ones by not dating the girls with children, but what I did worked and I am happily married and planning my own family.

I am not discouraging you from doing what you are doing.  I wish you much happiness.

But the fact is that 50 or so % of these marriages are going to fail, and it's not a bad idea to understand all the information before you sign the I-130.  Why not?

Wayne

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Nico- My take on age-, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 18, 2002

Wayne, WHY do you keep misquoting me???  I did not say YOU had a phobia of committment, I said some of the women over 28 that have never been married MAY have some committment phobia and that I would prefer one who has been able to make that committment..
This is the second time you have done this! Sheesh!

It would be interesting to see a breakdown of the failed RW/AM marriages.  Those who came with kids and those that came without.  I don't have hard data but I would be very willing to bet that the marriages where the woman comes here with a child are more enduring..

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Nico- My take on age-, posted by Oscar on Aug 18, 2002

Oscar,

Regarding your phobia about a woman with a child-
Women with children are much less likely to be scammers than are free wheeling single girls. They have their child to think of and typically are more family oriented than single girls who just want to play (not that single girls cannot become this as well). If you look at the scammer pages, 98% of the scammers are single with no children.

Uh....can you tell me where I miss quoted you.

I think there may be a twelve step program for people who can't remember what they posted.

Sheesh...

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Nico- My take on age..., posted by Wayne1 on Aug 18, 2002

Wayne,
I was talking about COMMITTMENT PHOBIA OF WOMEN- From my earlier post-

"I did not say YOU had a phobia of committment, I said some of the women over 28 that have never been married MAY have some committment phobia and that I would prefer one who has been able to make that committment.."

And I do not think we need to meet for me to know that you do seem indeed to have a phobia, I believe you have a phobia of trying not to make an arse of yourself, but I am here to tell you that you have failed Wayne... miserably... You had to go postal on me huh??  

It is obvious to me that you are some kind of major anal retentive Wayne, who's girl had to pass through the most ridiculous criteria.. Never been married, no children, parents who couldn't be divorced... what else Wayne?  She also have to have to be a virgin?  Never have had contact with any other foreign man?  Did she have to be a blonde and an exact height and weight too??  Geez!  Ok, so you found the only one eyed, blonde, single, parents in tact, Jehova's Witness, in the entire FSU.. Good for you..  Until of course, she gets around to telling you about the sex change operation she had in Helsinki last year!  Does she also know of your utter paranoia of being scammed by her??  How many useless pre-nups did you have her sign???  Ahh love, ain't it grand??

Best of luck in your analocity..    

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Nico- My take on..., posted by Oscar on Aug 19, 2002

Oscar,

I think that if you get really offended by my posts and go off insulting me, that is not a good indication for your future with a Russian women.

Considering that I am usually so mild mannnered on these boards, and I often even examine both sides of my own argument even in the same post....  if you are fighting with me over such small things, I guarantee your new Russian wife will be ripping you a new azzwhole before you know it.  Dissagreement and fighting styles....yours is really nasty.

Believe me Oscar, 99% of Russian women will not put up with your nastiness during a dissagreement.  They are very, very strong women, and can be very stubborn.  If you anger and fly off the handle easily over small things, you are going to be in deep zhit soon after she arrives.

She is going to do many things during her adjustment period that can get you very angry.  Things like crashing the car through closed garage doors, washing your best suit in the washer, running over elderly ladies on the sidewalk with a bicycle and then yelling at them that they should watch where they are walking.

Yours will have a long list of her own that will be different then mine.  Are you up for the patience that it takes to stay married to one of these strong willed intelligent ladies?  By your nasty reaction to my mild mannered  post, I don't think so.

Chill out, it's not good for your blood pressure.

Wayne

Are you really a Psychologist?  I've never seen one so aggressive...

... in response to Oscar, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 19, 2002

Wayne,

I am never agressive without first being targeted so you might want to look to yourself on that just a little bit.  You make it sound like you are completely blameless in escalating this thread!  Is this what you do with YOUR wife??  Start an argument and then tell her it's all her fault and that she's just over-reacting??  How about taking a little responsibility for your remarks??  You talk about being so "mild mannered", but what I see is passive- aggrssivness..

I am more than patient with these women and I think I know every bit as much about them and their personalities as do you.  I have no problem at all being completely patient with someone whose intentions are innocent.  I do not have patience for people who are rude on purpose, I just don't put up with it.

... in response to Re: Oscar, posted by Oscar on Aug 19, 2002

Oscar wrote,

"I am more than patient with these women and I think I know every bit as much about them and their personalities as do you."

Really?

Just out of curiosity Oscar.  How long has your fiance been in the US, and how long have you been living with her?

You know Oscar, I went back and reread my posts twice  to better understand what you considered going "postal".  Yes I misread the meaning of your 1st post a little.  But, I never attacked you personally.  My policy is that I never say anything on these boards that I would not say to a persons face.

Maybe you could enlighten me a little by cutting and pasting my "rude" and "postal" remarks in a post so I can see what you consider so awful.

It's been fun sparring with you a little.

Wayne

... in response to Re: Re: Oscar, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 19, 2002

Wayne-

I have met and gone out with well over 125 women in the FSU, I think that makes me hardly a "newbie".  I have been engaged for 6 months.  You think you know so much more about EVERY FSU womans mind because you are married to ONE?  Why?  You have the perspective of only ONE woman Wayne.  So yes, I think I know these women as well as you do.

What set me off Wayne was your post that included this-

"I think there may be a twelve step program for people who can't remember what they posted."

It was rude and there was no reason for it Wayne, it was an insult plain and simple.  That is what set me off..  Instead of simply saying, "I think you misunderstood my post" or something, you took a cheap shot, so you got back what you got..

I really am a nice person and a patient one Wayne, but I won't be treated rudely..
Perhaps we were both feeling our oats today for whatever reason.  I can let it go if you can..  

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Oscar, posted by Oscar on Aug 20, 2002

OK Oscar,

Now I get it.  The comment about the 12 step program.  You consider that comment going postal???? LOL!!! I wrote that with a smile on my face.  It wasn't intended to be mean spirited at all.

You know my sense of humor could maybe be a little more creative, but man you could also lighten up a little.

You really are going to need that sense of humor when your new Russian wife crashes your car the 3rd time...LOL.  Or washes both of your passports in the washer....LOL

I'll bet you were a really fun kid to tease when you were little.  The kind that got so upset, you just couldn't resist teasing because it was so much fun to watch.

I feel a little like we are on the playground again Oscar...

Wayne

... in response to Oscar, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 20, 2002

It's a shame to me Wayne that for all your talk about being "mild mannered" etc..  that you simply cannot say "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you" instead of coming up with nothing but excuses for it..

Please don't lecture me about a "sense of humor" as those who truly know me know I have a very good one.  And in regards to needing one with a Russian wife, I will take advice from a man who has had a successful relationship with one.  I would not take financial advice from a stockbroker who consistently underperformed the market either..

As far as having fun "teasing" people Wayne, it is again unfortunate that you seem to derive such pleasure from doing so with people.. I believe in treating people fairly and if I tease with them, it is not at their expense.

Enjoy yourself on the playground, as I feel your comments are more appropriate there.. But you will be there alone.

You can continue with your "nice guy" put downs, or you can just let it go now Wayne..

... in response to Re: Oscar, posted by Oscar on Aug 20, 2002

Oscar,

I never insulted you personally until now.  When I insult it is direct and not passive aggressive.  Like this...

You are a jerk with an anger management problem. You are nasty, mean and you hit below the belt.   You think you are an expert on RW but you don't know zhit  small, small man.  You don't know nothing till the girl gets off the plane you moron.  It is just a vacation until they actually get here.  Your 6 trips mean nothing.  So go ahead an be over confident, but please continue to post after the divorce when she finds out what a nasty little man you are.   It will be good reading I'm sure because she will chew you up and spit you out.  You are no match for one of these women.  And God help the poor child you are planning on bringing over.  What a great role model you are going to be.  

Hugs and kisses you azzwhole.

Wayne

... in response to Re: Re: Oscar, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 20, 2002

Well, I wondered when you would lose it you "mild mannered" little thang you! LOL! ;-)  My, you certainly can dish it out but you sure can't take it can you Wayne!  You say you "didn't insult me personally until now"???  Yes you did Wayne, give it a rest, I don't react like this for no reason.  Again, you don't seem to recognize the tenor of what you write.. You tease, jab, belittle, condescend and then when someone doesn't BS around but hits you between the eyes with the truth, you collapse like a house of cards, just like most playground bullies..

Look loser (I will leave the obscenities to you, I don't need them to make my point), just because you had a horrible marriage with your RW doesn't mean they are ALL as bad as yours turned out to be.  Not all of the women there chew men up and spit them out (your words) like yours did you..  You say- "You are no match for one of these women."  Well, did I miss something here or weren't YOU the one who turned out to be "no match" for one of these women??  
You make me laugh..  I am supposed to take all this advice about RW from a guy who was "chewed up and spit out" as you say, who gave up and who is now married to a Latin woman??  Where do you get off?? (and no, I have no prejudices about Latin women or women from any other culture).

I am in no way "overconfident" about anything Wayne.  I feel great about my relationship and have no illusions about the challenges that lie ahead, as they do for any couple, but they won't be challenges that you are able to guide me on because you failed at them bud, so here's to you Wayne, the playground tease...
From your post-"I'll bet you were a really fun kid to tease when you were little. The kind that got so upset, you just couldn't resist teasing because it was so much fun to watch".

Not laughing now are you??  I asked you to let it go, but you had to keep taunting.. Kinda hurts when you end up facedown on that playground huh??  So now again, I will say to you, I think you should let it go Wayne... The Latin board is a great place for a man who is married (for how long this time?) to be...

Best of luck Wayne! ;-)

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Oscar, posted by Oscar on Aug 20, 2002

Oscar,
I think Wayne's comment was rather clever.  You are far too touchy about comments aimed at you and far too nasty with your comments directed toward others.  Your nasty attacks have been directed toward at least 3 or 4 different posters here.  Your M.O. has been the same: accuse the other poster of attacking you to justify your nastiness.
Dating and being married are worlds apart.  In my book, you are way off base in thinking that your "dates" equate to Wayne's marriage experience.  Wayne is right on with his observation of your possible future difficulties regarding your personality and a Russian woman.  You should listen to his advice.
KenC

... in response to touchy, touchy , touchy, posted by KenC on Aug 20, 2002

Okay Ken, you have had your criticism, but why must you keep pushing it??  To think that because he is married automatically gives him the total advantage about every womans mind is silly..  He knows the mind of ONE LATIN, she's COLUMBIAN Ken, for crying out loud!  She is not representative of any women in the FSU!  That is like saying I have always lived in Oregon but you need to listen to me about Florida!  
And just being "married" on this board does not elevate one to "God" status Ken, you included.
I already told you that I appreciated your earlier comments but why do you insist now on beating it into the ground?  His initial comment to me WAS rude and uncalled for and if he were the type of man you seem to feel he is, he would admit that.
I will let your "nastiness" comments slide, because you got every bit as "nasty" as anyone here if you will recall Ken..

Try to let it go now..

... in response to Re: touchy, touchy , touchy, posted by Oscar on Aug 20, 2002

Oscar,
I have tried to be as diplomatic as possible with you, yet you still get irritated because we disagree.  Hmmm.  Just for the record, Wayne was married to a Russian gal previous to his current marriage.  If you cannot distinguish the SIGNIFICANT difference between dating and being married, I wish you a lot of luck in your marriage, as you will surely need it.
KenC

... in response to Re: Re: touchy, touchy , touchy, posted by KenC on Aug 20, 2002

Ken, I think you seem to be "irritated" with the fact that I just don't agree with you.  I know he WAS married to a Russian girl, but as I said in another post, I would prefer to think of taking advice from a man who has had a successful marriage with a woman from the FSU, not one who divorced and is now married to a woman from a completely different culture, Colombian.  So in your words, yes, I see a SIGNIFICANT difference between knowledge gained dating and being engaged to a failed marriage.. I will again, take the former to the latter.

Ken, you happen to think that saying something as offensive as "I wish you a lot of luck in your marriage, as you will surely need it." and "Wayne is right on with his observation of your possible future difficulties regarding your personality and a Russian woman." is diplomatic somehow..  I'm sorry, but it is not diplomatic, it is a lousy thing to say.
I think you really should spend more time worrying about your own marriage with it's 25 year age gap Ken, than worrying about and bashing my situation, don't you?  I am trying of course to be diplomatic..  

I really don't want to escalate things Ken, we have been through it all before and I thought we both would be able to keep it that way but if you insist, I will accomodate..  My best suggestion? Let it go..

... in response to Re: Re: Re: touchy, touchy , touchy, posted by Oscar on Aug 20, 2002

n/t

... in response to Re: touchy, touchy , touchy, posted by Oscar on Aug 20, 2002

Just for the record...

As I stated, Wayne was married to a Russian Woman before his current Latin wife.

Being married doesn't raise anyone to God status... you are right. You have to fly a Lear Jet to get that, apparently...

But don't assume that Wayne married the first woman he met, either.

He probably dated many women from the FSU and SOB, also...

I do agree that it is impossible to predict that someone will have "difficulty" in their marriage or not. Marriage takes two people, I have learned.

But this is one pissing contest that I, happily, am staying out of :-)

... in response to Well, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 20, 2002

I don't "like" pissing contests anymore than do you..  But again, when I am treated rudely I respond.  I am happy to let it go..  I had run-ins with Ken in the past (he seems to be wanting to rekindle?) but I can easily let things go.  But for Wayne to continue to say he is "so mild mannered" is really passive aggressive to me when he makes a rude comment like that to kick things off..

As far as Wayne having probably dated many FSU women before, that's great.  Not that it matters but I will pretty much guarantee I have dated more.  I don't say this to brag in any way, my only point in saying this is that I do not believe he as anything on me when it comes to knowing the minds of FSU women.. Do I know everything about them?  Certainly not.. I think that would take a lifetime, perhaps more.

... in response to Mark-, posted by Oscar on Aug 20, 2002

Sometimes...

The answer is not to "Let it go... if..."

Sometimes it is best to "Let it go..."  Period...

... in response to Oscar, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 19, 2002

Wayne wrote: "Are you really a Psychologist? I've never seen one so aggressive..."

I think that sometimes people get carried away on the board.

I get the sense that in "real life" Oscar is much more mild-mannered.

But... as for a psychologist being aggressive...

Ever hear of Gestalt therapy???

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Nico- My take on..., posted by Oscar on Aug 19, 2002

Oscar,
You REALLY need to work on accepting criticism.  Your attacking behavior is not cool.  You claimed that you did not say that Wayne had a phobia and then belittled him about misquoting you.  When he took the time to repost your "phobia" statement; then you go off on a rant.  I know this post will probably set you off on an attack of me, but take a deep breath, step back and reread this thread.  Everyone who disagrees with you is not necessarily "the enemy".  Chill.
KenC

... in response to disagreement, posted by KenC on Aug 19, 2002

I do not need to attack you for what you have said, you know why?  Because you were stating your belief and you were not attacking me as a person.  You had an observation and you stated it without the need to be rude, and I do respect that..  

Perhaps Wayne and I just got off wrong.  I know I felt he was really badgering me.

... in response to disagreement, posted by KenC on Aug 19, 2002

Ken,

 I am writing a book, I will give Oscar a copy of it. It is called "How to attack and remain your Cool"

... in response to Re: disagreement, posted by Jack on Aug 19, 2002

In all fairness Jack, I luv ya bud but you are one of the most volatile people I know! LOL!  Where do you think I learned it??  ;-)

... in response to Jack- And WHO is writing this book for y..., posted by Oscar on Aug 19, 2002

Why me, of course!

... in response to Re: Jack- And WHO is writing this book f..., posted by Jack on Aug 19, 2002

.

... in response to disagreement, posted by KenC on Aug 19, 2002


Words wound... written words kill...

Sometimes we "read" something into a post that wasn't there, nor intended.

However, as a sideline watcher, it's kinda fun sometimes to see a war of words...

It beats posting links of women with fat butts... IMHO...

... in response to Re: disagreement, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 19, 2002

....the written word only hurts puzzies, real men simply shrug them off.

lol...hope ya had no trouble "reading" that.

... in response to Sticks and stones...., posted by LP on Aug 19, 2002

You're a real man...

also...

Real lucky.

I'll keep it very civil for the board's sake.

lol...hope ya had no trouble "reading" that.

PS: hope you enjoyed my pics.

... in response to Re: Nico- My take on age-, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 18, 2002

How does this differ from a marriage with an American woman?

I'm not challenging... I am asking? Child support is child support, right? It's not like they're going to charge you more for a russian child...?

When my ex and I divorced, I paid $1200 child support for a full year... for a three year old! And she basically lived with me (250 days the first year... 300 the second). I was also paying for her daycare, her clothes, her medical bills... everything. It wasn't until I was able to get full custody that this stopped.

How could it have been worse with an RW?

Length of marriage does not impact child support. At least that's not what my attorney said. The only thing in Texas that affects it is the Dad's salary (which is stupid! A teen-age boy costs more than a 3 year old girl to take care of, but the laws don't seem to take that into consideration...)

... in response to Child SUpport, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 18, 2002

Mark,

It differs in that if you marry an American women who is divorced and has another man's child, the ex-husband has to continue to support the child if you divorce or stay married.  If you adopt the child, then it is another story.

But when you sign that I130 you agree to support the immigrant for up to 10 years or X# of working quarters.  This document is really a reimbursement contract in benefit of the Govt. for "means tested" support (welfare, food stamps etc.. etc..) None of this support has ever actually been collected in the past to my knowledge due to the INS computer system not working together with the Welfare computer system.  But this is not important.

What is important is that if your foreign wife that you are divorcing knows her rights and takes this document into family divorce court, the court will in almost all cases use the document as a contract that you signed to support your new wife and child for 10 years with no consideration of duration of marriage.

If you are in love and sure, then maybe it is really worth the risk.  But I just couldn't see supporting some other man's child for 10 years after a 2 year marriage failed.  This system is simply not fair.

If I would have met the right women and the right child, I probably would have reconsidered.

Also, since the women has a child the court doesn't in most cases force her to go to work and you end up footing the whole bill.

So she could be living with her new boyfriend not working, and you are now paying for everything for years.

It's not a bad idea to consider all aspects of the reprocussions of one of these marriages, and how they may affect your future.

That saying that love is blind is very true in many cases.  Much of this information doesn't come out until it is a little late.

If the success rate of these marriages is say 50%, the same as US/US statistics, then there is no doubt that some of the guys on this board are going to be divorced from their Russian wives in the future.

It's good to have as much information as possible so there are fewer suprises.

... in response to Re: Child SUpport, posted by Wayne1 on Aug 18, 2002


OK... you bring up an interesting point.

It is true that typically if you marry an AW who already has a child, and then get divorced, that you will not be required to pay child support (because, presumeably, she is already getting child support from their father...)

I have never divorced an RW, so you may be right that the court would make you pay child support, based on the affadavit you signed saying you would support her.

I don't know if that is a hard and fast rule, but it probably does bear keeping it in mind.

BTW, about Wayne, guys... he is pretty experienced in this. He married an RW, was married for several years, and she divorced him when his business hit hard times. He is now happily married to a Latina... So, although he doesn't post in this forum often, he is a reasonable guy who is just trying to offer advice from his own life experiences... He's not trying to pick a fight...

FWIW.

... in response to OK, Now I understand, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 19, 2002

Mark wrote,

BTW, about Wayne, guys... he is pretty experienced in this. He married an RW, was married for several years, and she divorced him when his business hit hard times. He is now happily married to a Latina... So, although he doesn't post in this forum often, he is a reasonable guy who is just trying to offer advice from his own life experiences... He's not trying to pick a fight

Thank you Mark.

But I should add a little to this so the representation of my ex-Russian wife is a little more ballanced.

I  sustained a back injury in an accident that put me in bed and on pain meds for a year.  My disability and my irritibility that came from my chronic pain and inability to walk put much too much pressure on my marriage to a very sweet Moscow girl who was just a little too young to handle such serious times in a marriage.

We divorced after I recovered because of her not being able to forgive me for some of my nastiness while I was injured and taking too many pain medications.  She stayed angry, and I got really tired of living with someone who can't let old dissagreements go.

So it wasn't all her fault.  

So the moral of this story is maybe....try to marry someone who is a little older and stronger because she might handle things better if tough times fall on your marriage.

You never know how strong your marriage is until it is tested.  Never take her for granted, and NEVER be over confident about her loyalty to you.  You never know how a person is going to react under stress.

Wayne

... in response to OK, Now I understand, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 19, 2002


(don't you love guys who respond to themselves...?)

I forgot to add...

Even with that as a consideration, I STILL am glad I found a woman with a child. You can marry with a "worse case scenario" attitude... or you can go "balls out" and make the decision that you WANT to make...

Life is all about risks...

In my case, I wanted a woman with a child because my daughter wanted a sibling.

I also feel, as Oscar stated, that a woman with a child is more likely to be mature and reasonable, and less likely to be a green card scammer. I don't know many mothers who would deliberately put their children through a messy divorce just to get a green card.

So, althoguh Wayne does bring up a good point, for me, I would have chosen the way I did anyway... because I am marrying for marriage, and not for divorce. (If that makes sense..)

I know the old axiom: "Plan for the worst and hope for the best" and I am not saying that guys shouldn't choose a mate by that... but for me, I wanted a woman with a child. And, I am very happy that I got one...

... in response to Child SUpport, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 18, 2002

First of all, the financial support agreement only applies to those women that file for welfare...that is it!

... in response to Re: Child SUpport, posted by Apk1 on Aug 18, 2002

Apk,

Yes you are right as far as the Govt trying to collect back wellfare payments.  "Means tested support"

But what happens in many cases is that the immigrant uses this signed document  I130 in "FAMILY COURT" to get child support for the child and herself for up to 10 years or until the child is 18.

The document was not meant for this purpose but it is used against the man in another venue.

This is not my opinion, this happens.  I am just the messenger.

Listen carefully now.  I am not discouraging anybody from marrying a women with a child.  But I think its not a bad idea for guys to know exactly where they stand legally before they jump in with both feet.  It's just information.

... in response to Nico- My take on age-, posted by Oscar on Aug 17, 2002


You mention that you would "go younger" if the woman has a child...

I would tend to agree.

Nothing matures a person faster than having someone else to care for...

... in response to One Interesting point, posted by MarkInTx on Aug 18, 2002

.

... in response to Re: My Mistake, posted by Nico on Aug 16, 2002

As all those women are going to college etc... to seek a career and to booze it up and have multiple sex partners, just who do you think they are sleeping with (outside of other women perhaps)

That would be other young men.  As I see it, it is a crumbling moral issue in this time.  Too much crazyness and experimentation and not enough restraint and serious thought to the consequences of one's actions.

It is an epidemic that is worldwide as I see it.  Only that other parts of the world are developing this attitude more slowly than others.

... in response to Re: Another thought...., posted by Oatmeal on Aug 16, 2002

I wonder if some people aren't dreaming of some mythical past where humans were all moral and perfect. My mother grew up in a small town in the 50's. I've read it many times here how some people post as if the 50's was a golden age in the US. When my mom was a girl teenagers still had sex. Drugs weren't common but alcohol was even more popular than it is now. I fail to see where the world has fallen into some moral abyss. It seems pretty much the same as it always was to me. Some people behave well, many don't. If you want to find a virgin bride with morals written in stone... I don't think the FSU would be the best place to look. I love Russian women but they're only human like the rest of us.

... in response to This is way off topic,but..., posted by Zink on Aug 16, 2002


Well... I disagree.

Yes, teenagers in the fifties had sex... but it was not nearly as prevalent as it is now.

25% of all EIGHTH graders have now been drunk according to a recent study. That was NOT common in the fifties (from what I have read and been told... I actually didn't come along until the sixties...)

Don't even get me started on the unwed mother births or abortion statistics.

Even when I was in high school... my girlfriend (age 18) was my first (I was age 19) and I was hers. I personally knew people who were virgins on their wedding night, and proud of it.

That is simply not true today.

Not that things were perfect in the fifties. But drug use, alcoholism, and teenage pergnancies were MUCH lower then...

As was divorce...

... in response to Re: This is way off topic,but..., posted by MarkInTx on Aug 16, 2002

It's hard to say who's right.  To be honest it isn't really important. The world is the way it is. For thousands of years people have been complaining about the decline of society. Sometimes they were right. The US has a long way to go to reach the level of evil and decadence that other cultures hit in the past.

One thing about stats though. In the past people were less open about things like drug abuse and pregnancies. I personally don't believe people today are more amoral than they were in the past. But today stories get shared much more often. Sorry to even get into this. I have social worker friends and psychology and history are my hobbies.

... in response to Re: Re: This is way off topic,but..., posted by Zink on Aug 16, 2002

I am a psychotherapist and I will agree with Mark that the incidence of alcohol, drugs, promiscuity and teen pregnancy are INFINITELY more rampant in every way than could have existed in the 50's..  No comparison!

... in response to Re: Re: Re: This is way off topic,but..., posted by Oscar on Aug 16, 2002

In this area teen pregnancies have held steady for years. It's always been a hot spot. Drug use is way up and alcohol use is way down. Drugs are becoming more economical on the streets.

You made your point. We're all going to h#ll in a handbasket. Dang and here I still had some hope for a decent future. Nuff said.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: This is way off topic,bu..., posted by Zink on Aug 16, 2002

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