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Concerning Russian Woman and Jealously?  Do Russian Woman like jealous men or not like them?  Sometimes I think that woman say things to see if the man get jealous and then expects them to be concerned and ask questions, it sort of shows that the guy cares.  Or the Russian Woman is just making conversation and not intending the man to be jealous so the man should say nothing and just act like he is not concerned with it.  How does this work?

... in response to A quick question., posted by Ryan on Aug 2, 2002

Ryan,

I've often heard the old nice guys finish last thing, but to tell you the truth, I think many of the guys complaining about this are not really so much nice as they are weak.  They try way too hard to impress a lady and basically grovel at her feet.  And it's not so much "bad boys" that they're attracted to, it's confident men.  A strong man who's also sensitive to other people's needs is attractive.  A man who's practically begging for female attention and trying to cater to her every whim (including changing himself to be what she wants) in the hopes of winning her love looks like someone desperate.  You can open doors and be basically chivilrous without groveling but some guys go overboard trying to impress a woman by kissing her butt.

If you come at women with the "You don't know how bad I've had it" story (as in the For Real Dude post) nothing good will come of it.  That is the one thing I'd work hard on changing.

Lots of people have had adversity in their lives.  My old man was a real (can't get last the censor to describe him) but he did at least impart one lesson to me that I think is valuble.  "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you cry alone."  Have a good time, enjoy life, find something you're passionate about and get into it.

I know a guy who lives in constant pain from rhumatoid (sp?) arthritis.  It started when he was a teenager and has now crippled him.  I've never heard him complain about the pain or the limitations it places on his life.  He still enjoys himself.  He also earned two doctorates along the way in physics and mathematics.  Since he couldn't do too much physically, he concentrated on intellectual pursuits.  His girlfriend seems to be extremely attracted to him.  A memory of an accident is hardly comparible (unless it disfigured or crippled you).  If he can get past his desease and enjoy life, then surely you can get past the memory of adversity.  By dwelling on things, you only let them continue to damage your life in the present rather than limiting them to past.

I would recommend working on yourself some.  I think that's more important than the mechanics of how to find a wife in the FSU for you at this point.  You gotta put the past behind you and not let it affect your future.

... in response to "Nice guys" and "Bad boys..., posted by Patrick on Aug 2, 2002

good lucid post.  In life and with women it is best to be your own self and not "chameleon" your way for anyones attention.  Smart and perceptive women immediately feel a respect and appreciation.  The guy who postures and poses will earn their disdain....any country any world,  Tim

... in response to "Nice guys" and "Bad boys..., posted by Patrick on Aug 2, 2002

Patrick,
Very good post!  I don't know about Latino women, but I can tell you that from what I do know about FSU women, weak men need not apply.  I would think that confident men would be attractive to ANY woman, but weak whinney men are particularly offensive to RW.  They speak about manly men and a guy that cries about how bad his life has been certainly does not fill the bill.  Your good guy/weak guy and bad guy/strong guy thinking is right on the mark.
KenC

... in response to strong enough to be their man?, posted by KenC on Aug 3, 2002

Very true Ken but guys must also make the distinction between "strong" and being "focused/decisive/clever".  I found most of the women there want and expect a "strong" man, I would ask them, "so you want a man to tell you what to do?" and they would say "NO!"  I want a man who knows his mind, can make sound decisions, be clever and fair, but he should not tell me what to do! So what I get from this is that they do want us to be strong men, but I felt from most of them that this more meant "strong to the world", not so strong with them in particular, you know what I mean??

Just my observations..

Oscar

... in response to strong enough to be their man?, posted by KenC on Aug 3, 2002

agree 100%

... in response to "Nice guys" and "Bad boys..., posted by Patrick on Aug 2, 2002

Calm down on all the psychology stuff your point is taken and we’ll leave it at that.  I think the post “For Real Dude,” was taken completely different than how I intended it.  It was a mistake to post that.  I was trying to like pull out conversation and try and make some off the wall point and relate it all to how the pilots of that air show crash might be feeling but I went about it the wrong way so it was just all screwed up… forget it..

You have made that point about the “Bad boy” image before and we have discussed it, I remember awhile back reading the book “Nice guy’s don’t get laid.” But I feel your take with the confidence issue is more inline.  

I do have myself a new hobby I am into designing web sites E-commerce type stuff (My Major in college) and just started a new project with a friend of mine in Russia.  I don’t want to post the website address here as I think with all the crap I have been posting I would never want a woman friend of mine getting word about these posts or reading them it could do some real damage to me.  But in due time will post as it really is an interesting project that my Russian friend and I have been working on.
Thanks again,
Ryan

... in response to Re: "Nice guys" and "Bad ..., posted by Ryan on Aug 3, 2002

Really dumb guys get laid more often...and I mean dumber than texas rocks dumb.  (Just kiddin with you tx dudes).

This goes along with the jealousy part very well.  I think that most of us on this board are kinda nice, more gentlemanly and eloquent in our words than most "bastards" you know from the corner Harley bar.

However, there IS a bit of excitement that women get from a
badass side of a man.  Take it for what it's worth, women appreciate some jealousy, and love a strong man, at least mentally.

But, take it with a grain of salt though.  They ALSO want this man to cry, tell them all of their personal secrets and weaknesses, and at the same time kick the jokers ass that made a pass at them in milliseconds, (whether it's appropriate or not).

That can be a tough balance to fall into.  It takes time to develop...

Being yourself is a good idea.

Just don't be a whimp.

... in response to Nice guys don't get laid... (Very true -..., posted by BrianN on Aug 4, 2002

ohhhhh BrianN, I forgot, what state are you from?

... in response to Re: Nice guys don't get laid... (Very tr..., posted by Jack on Aug 4, 2002

just a deported texan living in ga.

... in response to A quick question., posted by Ryan on Aug 2, 2002

Ryan,

are YOU a jealous man?

Just find someone who would get along with the way you express your emotions (or lack of those)

No matter how you behave yourself during dating, it is years after that which you have to spend together. I think pretending that you don't care when there are thunderstorms going on in your heart is something really strange to do when you are looking for a life-time partner.

Russian Wife

... in response to how about just being yourself?, posted by RW on Aug 2, 2002

I tend to agree with you about just being yourself to find your life partner.  It can be hard changing from finding a date for the night and finding a life partner.  When your looking for a one niter it is the opposite you must become an actor and do all this stuff to attract the woman, most likely the bad boy image. (Drives AW crazy) You become the actor to attract the woman then show her yourself later in the relationship this is what works on AW.  “Oh he’s so crazy bad boy type but deep down he is so sweet.”  (Typical response)

Anyway I understand that I should be myself but with the cultural differences I want to be careful and make myself aware of all these differences.  I want to educate myself as much as possible so I do the right thing.  I myself like the Healthy approach probably just make a joke about it (Letter her know I notice) then move on.  No I am not the crazy jealous type of guy….

... in response to Re: how about just being yourself?, posted by Ryan on Aug 2, 2002

Couldn't help but follow up to rw's question to you.  When I was in Siberia in May, I experienced (twice) a degree of jealousy and rage that I hadn't known in at least 20 years; (and it shocked the hell out of me when I thought about it).

Before this, I would've answered the question... "no, I'm not a jealous man".

I'm not an idiot either, and that was what I learned... that I'm no lay down walk over me type with something that was important.

Maturity has it's benefits, even if it takes 40+ years to get there.  I consider this recent experience, a part of letting my ass finally catch up with my head.

... in response to A quick question., posted by Ryan on Aug 2, 2002

Stereotypes are dangerous.  I think there are some like and some not like the way you describe above. It goes the same with any group of women.

... in response to stereotypes, posted by Bobby Orr on Aug 2, 2002

How's it going?  Everything's well with L and I, and her english is absolutely unbelieveable.  Not just good but great.  I know L didn't want to talk much english in your presence last time but you'd be shocked to hear her now.  

I'll be back there in sept for a while, and now since I've got the lay of the land, things'll be a lot easier and less stressful.

You going back anytime soon?  (ahem at our "taxpayers" expense? lol!  Make the best of it dude!)

Hope all is well with you and yours.

bd.

... in response to A quick question., posted by Ryan on Aug 2, 2002

With the various women I have spoke to, it seems they 'dislike' a jelous man. They want you to be concerned, but they do not want you to become crazy. I think that is a normal expectation no matter where you are.

A woman from a small town north of Moscow told me she was upset with how her ex-boyfriend acted. She would go to the club and he would not let her dance because of him being jelous of the other guys looking at her. This is an extreme, but she did not prefer this type of attitude. However showing a 'healthy' amount is fine and expected, just do not lose your temper or get over controlling. (Just like with any relathionship)

However everyone is different, your milage will vary.

MNKenr

... in response to Re: A quick question., posted by MNKenr on Aug 2, 2002

Thank you for the post.  I tend to agree that the main ingredient is to not lose control and go crazy that’s common sense to me.  I just thought I read something on this subject here before but I might have been mistaken.  Yes I can’t stand the people that are all jealous and don’t let their woman do anything.  At the same time I thought it might be like a test to see if you really care.  I guess I will go with the “Healthy amount” and leave it at that.  Thank you!