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Purely rhetorical..

Just wondering, was there ever a time, when all of a sudden you thought....

"dam, I'm been sitting here stewing on the crap of a k1 for weeks and months, followed all of these threads, sweated the details of the trip, read every trip report you could get your hands on, compared your situation to everyone else that's posted....  but forgot about the romantic part of 'proposing'?  and how to go about it?"  (this cracked me up, it's amazing what the INS can do to your mind, the hell with the woman!).

I'm FINALLY leaving next month and this part just hit me like a ton of bricks...  (if all goes well that is)

just another wovo sucker.

(lol, another one born every minute I reckon - who knows, I could end up at the red 'star' light inn instead with a night-timer.  Either way, it's been fun and interesting, besides, I'm WAY overdue for a freakin vacation - I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE for a few days!).

... in response to questions for you married or engaged guy..., posted by BrianN on Apr 16, 2002

We were naive after my first trip to Russia, and thought she and her son could come over to visit us here before we tackled the more serious issues.

Once we started learning and talking about the K-1 process, thinking about doing it just to get them over for a visit, I said "You know, if we are able to do all of this and still like each other, we probably should get married."  She asked me if I wanted to, I said I did, and she said she did too.

However, the ring part of it was a bit more romantic.  She found the perfect ring in a shop in her home town, but I gave it to her on the steps of a 700 year old church in the center of town...

All in all, more romantic (at least to us) than if I had planned anything...

... in response to questions for you married or engaged guy..., posted by BrianN on Apr 16, 2002

Same girl you had in the fall or a different one?

... in response to Hey Brian!, posted by BubbaGump on Apr 17, 2002

yeah... thought you knew.. (or assumed)....

had quite a few screwups, misunderstandings, arguments... etc, but it's all in the translation, and stuff like that.  Relationship seems solid from afar, and all is well... for now.  I'm not going to make it seem like a bed of roses, because it ain't.

I pursue the simple dream.  But I'm not in love with the dream itself, just want the woman to be in love with me; (#1 requirement, and I've seen'em all, trust me).
Got a ways to go obviously, and I hope, with good luck, that all will work out well.  now, just to negotiate the stinkin airports.

That's worse than thinking about a k1.

thanks man..

... in response to Dang bubba..., posted by BrianN on Apr 17, 2002

Yeah, I remember I emailed you about it, but it sounded a little rocky.

... in response to Things could have changed, posted by BubbaGump on Apr 17, 2002

and don't want to embellish too much about -my crap-, because, like everyone says, there are no guarantees.  I mean, it's like many other guys have made wovo seweside runs to the fsu after writing for so long, only to have their hopes dashed by an immediate rejection within minutes or hours of meeting; or after starting paperwork, anticipating a certain result, etc, ad-nauseum.

Wow, I can only imagine the crisis.  But there's one thing, that I know for sure after reading this thread for so long, is that I could end up in the same dumpster.  But I'm at least reasonably prepared 'emotionally', for the worst case... which is why, I asked such a ridculous question, about the best case, because I had NEVER thought about it!  haha!

Received my new passport last week (finally!), and will be doing the flight thing on friday... then tourist visa thing at the same time.

Strange enough Bubba, I've even thought a lot about back-up plans, and have alternatives, but they aren't the type that I'd say "ok, time for plan b" and kick it into immediate action as an extreme need to meet more women, (don't want, don't need this anyway, since I've been single long enough).. it's just a natural thing, & even if nothing happens, and all I do is meet additional, or become friends with other women there, I'll be ok.  I've made up my mind not to come back from the fsu with my tail between my legs if nothing pans out, but to chalk it up to a nice experience and vacation.

All that said... hmmm, interally, I "feel" very good about everything.  There have been quite a few screwed up issues that have come up in the last 10 months, and almost all of them, were related to misunderstandings in english language, and american lingo.

In this, pigs ain't gonna fly, but I will.  With or without, a lady from the fsu.  I'll definitely let you know how things turn out in Novosibirsk, and post at least a half-way decent trip report.

Thanks for asking...

Brian

... in response to questions for you married or engaged guy..., posted by BrianN on Apr 16, 2002

I appreciate any and all thoughts and experiences.

I've been so self-consumed with K1 details, my own passport and visa and travel issues... and all of that, over-analyzing the 'legal' and logistical details.  My emails, letters, and phone calls over the last 9 months have been the "isolated side" of everything else.

So, I'll go, as I originally planned, with an open mind, and then just wing the hell out of whatever it is that we have, good or bad.  I'll do alright...  But I'm still laughing at myself for having two heads in separate sand-pits.

btw, this board is the best.

Thanks again,

bd.

... in response to questions for you married or engaged guy..., posted by BrianN on Apr 16, 2002

I was already engaged when I found Planet love.
My wife found me via the links that worked for us.
Good luck your way !
Karl

... in response to For me, not so...., posted by tfcrew on Apr 16, 2002

You make me feel like I'm going to graduate from high school again.  :-)  

ps: that response was NOT intended to be insulting, but inspiring.

Yeah right, I might be back here next month with my tail between my legs, or next year with a new anti-rw website... haha lol...  thanks man.

... in response to questions for you married or engaged guy..., posted by BrianN on Apr 16, 2002

I didn't begin the paperwork until AFTER Irina was wearing my engagement ring.  But oh, how difficult the whole paperwork issue seemed while waiting......

Maybe INS plans it that way.....

... in response to Likewise,, posted by John F on Apr 16, 2002

program where in which you enter all your info and then it prints out on to a INS Format.

I mean how hard would that be to do ?

... in response to Re: Somebody ought to develop a online, posted by wsbill on Apr 16, 2002

Window man could do it ;)

... in response to Re: Somebody ought to develop a online, posted by wsbill on Apr 16, 2002

The hard part would be to keep it current with regulation and form changes.  You'd have to issue regular updates, like the tax software publishers.

You would also have to do more than just the K style fiance and spousal visas.

... in response to Re: Re: Somebody ought to develop a onli..., posted by Richard on Apr 17, 2002

And see if they'd be create something like this...Ya know they'd corner the market if they got something like that up and running.

Especially if they made it web-based, thus no copying of discs.

... in response to questions for you married or engaged guy..., posted by BrianN on Apr 16, 2002

I really didn't worry too much about the process of the K-1 until I had actually met the lady I was going to marry and had returned to the US.  

I know that by waiting until I had returned to the US had cost me some time on the K-1 process but I had enough on my hands just dealing with the different ladies yet alone some K-1 details.

After returning to the US and having more time to think in retrospect, I decided to bring Anna to the US to stay with me.  I had asked her to come to the USA to be with me on the K-1 visa, so she already had an idea that this was leading to marriage.

I remember that I actually proposed to her while we were driving in my truck one evening to go and see a movie.  I really wanted to plan a more romantic proposal but it just slipped out.

Her answer:  "Can't you tell by my kiss that I want to marry you."

My advise is to just relax and worry more about finding the right lady first.

... in response to Re: I waited., posted by Oatmeal on Apr 16, 2002

sounds just like something i'd do, exactly.  no formality, just get it out.

dam.  I get a little "smokey" about a marriage proposal, because I've never done one the way the movies do it....  my first and only, was like, hey... I found this place in bonita that has an ad in the paper and it's only 25 bucks and you wanna go with me???

haha!

... in response to questions for you married or engaged guy..., posted by BrianN on Apr 16, 2002

...Lena had already arrived in the US. Until then, we both agreed we would wait and let nature take its course - I invited her to come see me and have a paid three-month vacation, essentially. No illusions between us, just a willingness to risk.

Now, when I went to Moscow to meet her (yep, just her), I went with the same attitude as you have - I figured the WORST thing that could happen was that I will have a long-overdue vacation in an exotic city with a lot of spending money. I spent the entire 5 days with Lena getting the grand tour from an (almost) native Muscovite. Excellent - No waiting for intervews, sitting by a phone, dealing with agencies etc. just a great time.

I remember having that feeling of standing on the edge of a precipice about 2 weeks before she arrived. I got drunk one night and just worried for about 6 hours straight laying on the picnic table - Oh my GOD what have I done? I got it out of my system I guess..:)

I proposed about 3 weeks before her visa ran out I think. We did the JP thing 3 weeks later..:)

Oh BTW you will probably look back upon the K1 process with fondness - It's cake compared to the fun you will be having later; SSN, English lessons, Green card, building credit, finding a job, more English lessons, driver's licence, insurance, gynecologists, shopping, etc.

If I had to do it all over again, I think I would remember to take an umbrella this time.;)

-Ken Williams

... in response to I didn't pop the question until.., posted by Ken W on Apr 16, 2002

But the driving lessons rank as one of the hardest. I'd say turn left and she would turn right, every time we stopped she'd ask which way to turn although she had made this short drive many times already.Once She got her license I was very proud of her! one month later she hit the back of a new SUV because of hitting the breaks and gas at the same time! Oh well those days are behind us and she is doing pretty good now, but sometimes she'll drive 25 miles home from work with her lights off at night.
Mike

... in response to I didn't pop the question until.., posted by Ken W on Apr 16, 2002

But thanks for all you said.  Probably why, is that i cannot find anything that differs from the way that I would think also.

I only asked this question originally, to see if there were any "dreamers" but realistic ones floating around, or maybe we're all a bunch of nuts looking for a risk to take.

Everybody seems to straddle both sides of this fence very well that's been successful anyway....  

Internally, I'm very "satisfied" to go meet this lady, because it's a (gross someone gag me) closure thing?... or it will work.  I think it will work out well, and so does she.  One thing I know for sure, that time has taken its toll, and out of difficulty, comes much understanding...

Thanks again.

and yeah, I know, my mileage my suck big time, but nothing ventured, nothing gained.

:-)

... in response to questions for you married or engaged guy..., posted by BrianN on Apr 16, 2002

not to get put in a Russian Jail. The rest was candy.
Joe

... in response to I had one priority..........., posted by yoe on Apr 16, 2002

My thoughts from the second I get on the plane.

Hmm... are my clothes dark enough?  Is my rolled "r" real enough?... lets see, what hidden pocket do I put my money and cc's in?... the coat's good, what pocket do I have my bribe money in?

Do I look like a russian dewd?  Or do I need to get rid of the baseball cap and get a real russian thingy ma job?... yep.

all done.

... in response to questions for you married or engaged guy..., posted by BrianN on Apr 16, 2002

Brian,
I never put the paperwork ahead of the job at hand.  That "job" was falling head over heels in love and romancing a great woman into the same feelings.  LOL.  The other stuff is just minor details.  Try to remember what is truly important.
KenC

... in response to Re: questions for you married or engaged..., posted by KenC on Apr 16, 2002

Like, this whole thing has been study, study study...  I got lost somewhere between the ins, the state dept, and scammer reports.

time to find myself again.  two hands and a flashlight I think I might now...

thanks for the response.

... in response to questions for you married or engaged guy..., posted by BrianN on Apr 16, 2002

Don't sweat the details, Son. When lightning strikes, you will know it...enjoy the ride. Actually, in my case, I didn't have to say anything at all. Ain't love grand?

... in response to Re: questions for you married or engaged..., posted by Rags on Apr 16, 2002

Yeah, but it's all friggin (wonderful) K1 DETAILS!?!?!  What happened to the romance in it all?  

ha!  I'm really lmbo over this at the moment.

What a riot this ride has been...

... in response to haha!, posted by BrianN on Apr 16, 2002

Can look at here for the next 40 years.  Oatmeal lady made the most sense.  If she's not superduper warm to ya and coming on to ya... better wake up from YOUR dream.

That's the direction my lady was coming from, I was just too dumb to figure it out.

I'd love to hear more from these guys that have found true love and what their wifes did to turn their heads.

... in response to Re: Just make sure your really in love....., posted by wsbill on Apr 16, 2002

Well, Mr Bill, I think that my love life might end up better than the glass business these days :-( for you, (I hope).

I've got some very specific needs that have to be filled, I've dated... messed around for years, and ferreted out all of the jokers.  It's just that AW seem to have gotten the best of me over the years, but they always want me back after we're split up... lol.

Now, going there, if one can be so good as to fool me again, hmmm, I won't know, it depends on how good of an actor she is, but not as good as I was, to myself, to glass over the incosistencies of my past for her own, and give eternal gratitude for a smidgen of attention.

How I've wasted a lot of years.

No more.

But if I get a green card shark, after knowing what I know, and been through, then I deserve it.  I promise, I won't make a BrianN's Pravda... yakity yak thing.

Thanks for your thoughts, and letting me air my own.