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GoodWife / Planet-Love Archives => Threads started in 2002 => Topic started by: Ryan on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM



Title: Interesting Reading......
Post by: Ryan on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
How Feminists and the media influence the Domestic Violence issue…

I cam across an interesting little article today while doing some research for a paper on research techniques. (Quantitative vs. Qualitative)    Anyway I found some interesting statistics in the article.  As it relates to this board?  Just another case point of how the thinking of American women has been influenced by our media, the article clearly demonstrates that gender advocates have severely distorted this issue
Anyway enjoy..

http://www.lectlaw.com/files/fam27.htm



Title: Very Interesting Reading......
Post by: KenC on April 06, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Interesting Reading......, posted by Ryan on Apr 5, 2002

Ryan,
Thanks for the post.  Your post and Jeff's below was an eye opener for me.  I admit to not reading it before I posted below.  The overall impact of both reports is that AW have again found a way to use their femininity and men's masculinity to their advantage.  Do not confuse the issue with the facts!  LOL.  Patrick's info on pay disparity is also interesting along the same lines.  There is a recent news report about a former actress attacking her hubby, who is a pitcher for the Angels.  To the credit of the police, she was arrested.  This is where our masculinity is used against us.  What man would report being abused by a woman?  Not many.
KenC


Title: Re: Very Interesting Reading......
Post by: Quasimoto on April 06, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Very Interesting Reading......, posted by KenC on Apr 6, 2002

Though I agree with much of the article, though not all, I do not see any science here, or footnotes and references! So is it what we want to believe or reality?

Steve



Title: Did you see my post below.....
Post by: Jeff S on April 06, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Very Interesting Reading......, posted by Quasimoto on Apr 6, 2002

What about these references.. in response to Patricks?

-- Jeff S.



Title: Re: Very Interesting Reading......
Post by: Ryan on April 06, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Very Interesting Reading......, posted by KenC on Apr 6, 2002

Thinking in terms of the FSU the guys must really have it tuff.  First off they cannot cry (Not acceptable) do you think they would call the police and tell then they are getting beatup by their wife...LOL  FUnny just thinking about it..  Well not really that funny I guess...


Title: Re: Re: Very Interesting Reading......
Post by: KenC on April 06, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Very Interesting Reading......, posted by Ryan on Apr 6, 2002

Ryan,
The thing you have to understand is that RW respect men's masculinity.  This goes hand in hand with their being more feminine.  RW have no problem with being the weaker sex (physically), where as with AW the lines are somewhat more blurred.  RW even have a saying, "No beat, no love" in reffering to their men.
KenC


Title: Re: Re: Re: Very Interesting Reading......
Post by: Quasimoto on April 07, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Very Interesting Reading......, posted by KenC on Apr 6, 2002

Now that is sick! And the women's perspective is sick! I wonder where they learned that from?

Steve



Title: Now that is just not right....
Post by: Ryan on April 07, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Very Interesting Reading......, posted by KenC on Apr 6, 2002

No beat, no love... come on I find that hard to believe, that is way screwed up...


Title: Re: Now that is just not right....
Post by: KenC on April 07, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Now that is just not right...., posted by Ryan on Apr 7, 2002

Ryan,
The statement is said in jest.  But in every jest there is some truth.
KenC


Title: I believe it
Post by: BubbaGump on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Interesting Reading......, posted by Ryan on Apr 5, 2002

It was mentioned in a recent article about Andrea Yates (the woman in Texas that murdered her 5 kids), that women only commit 2 crimes with greater frequency than men.  They are: shoplifting and murdering their children.  My ex-wife threated to accuse me of abuse during our divorce and that my friends have experienced the same.  I have had women threaten to kill me for leaving them and I have had women assault me.  It's a good thing we are bigger because if women were bigger they would always be beating us up.


Title: Re: I believe it
Post by: Quasimoto on April 07, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I believe it, posted by BubbaGump on Apr 5, 2002

I have not experienced it, but I have seen it. All your comments are a sad reality of American life. What 1st World country has the highest murder rate, the highest rape rate, among others.

Steve



Title: Re: Interesting Reading......but!
Post by: Quasimoto on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Interesting Reading......, posted by Ryan on Apr 5, 2002

Never forget that the most vocal and one of the leading voices of the feminist movement was Brown University, who Chancelor and almost the entire administration were Lesbian feminists. It was this Chancelor who stated that "all sex with Men is Rape!"

I left the Crisis-line community because I wanted mother's of abused children (sexual and physical) by spouses and live-ins, to be held accountable for allowing this tragedy to occur with out proper interferance. I was told to get out! I was banned!

I do not want to shortchange the real problem. I agree with much of the article, but also it is true the there are more men who are controlling through intimidation and violence. That should not be forgotten. I do not know of any RWs who have come here and murdered or beat up their spouses, but I know of a lot of men who have done so. Don't lose sight on reality because of feminist distortion.

Steve



Title: define "a lot"
Post by: KenC on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Interesting Reading......but!, posted by Quasimoto on Apr 5, 2002

Steve,
You lead us to believe you know "a lot" of AM whome have beaten or killed their RW.  How many is "a lot"?
KenC


Title: Re: define "a lot"
Post by: Quasimoto on April 06, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to define "a lot", posted by KenC on Apr 5, 2002

Ok! I know a few married couples personally. I know "OF" some married couples on this board, but nothing about them. I know of 3 RWs who have been murdered in the last 4 years, and I know of several 6-8 who are in abusive relationships. By abuse; all but one is physical. Of course I will know more of these examples, as it was an area of interest. I also have women write to me. If you go to the RussianWomen'sList, under psychology, you will see an article I wrote. So obviously I will get more contact than you Ken.

Steve



Title: still evasive
Post by: KenC on April 07, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: define "a lot", posted by Quasimoto on Apr 6, 2002

Steve,
I think you are too close to this subject to be objective.  Your sensationalized opinions are slanted heavily in favor of women.  I am trying to separate the facts from your opinion here.
You say, "I know a few married couples personally."  Are these "few" couples AM/RW?  Are the RW being physically abused?  (Mental abuse is too vague to prove)  How many is a "few"? (I am looking for a number here.)
You say, "I know "OF" some married couples on this board."  That are in physically abusive relationships?  How many is "some"?  (Again, a number would be good here) I will give you credit for qualifying that you don't know these people.  So if you don't know them, how can your vague statement be credible?
You say, "I know of 3 RWs who have been murdered in the last 4 years."  We all know of the recent trial and conviction of the man in Seattle.  Are your two other examples from news stories also?  There is also at least one news story about the AM that was killed by his Ukrainian wife and her lover too.  For the tens of thousands of FSU women that have come to this country over the last 4 years, 3 women (wives)? to be killed is not a significant number.  It is a pity that they were killed for sure, but not statistically significant.
You say, "I know of several 6-8 who are in abusive relationships."  Am/RW? "know", personally?  Or Internet hearsay?  Is this group inclusive of the first group of a "few"?  Or in addition?
KenC


Title: Re: still evasive
Post by: Quasimoto on April 07, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to still evasive, posted by KenC on Apr 7, 2002

I know a few couples of RW/AM personally. I live in a University town. There are 17 families of Russian Ukrainian decent in this valley of 40,000 people. How many couples do you know that abusive? I probably see couples every day that are in this situation and I don't know about it. I knew one couple for 4 years before I ever found out, and that was by accident. I never suggested that I knew any couples on this board that are abusive. I said I knew of couples on this board. I know nothing about them. I know of 6 couples out of approximately 30 that are in abusive situations. How many really are I don't know. And neither do you Ken!!!! 6/30 is less than the normal accepted statistic. Of the couples at work that I know personally, I would say the percentage is greater than that. I don't know how many RW have been killed. I know of 4. One was featured on A&E in Omaha Nebraska. She at one time was married to an RM from Denver. I am not claiming that some percentage of RW are abused or murdered. Don't read between the lines Ken. But you are quite cavalier! The abusive couples I know I have had contact through Abuse agencies, or personal contact through family members who have sought me out. I have been approached in the local shopping mall by a mother who's 17 year old daughter was raped by a 19 year old working in a sporting goods store. NO! Damit Ken she wasn't an RW. But this happens all the time. I get phone calls as reference from other people. What is your profession. If you a a TV repairman, then people bring you their TV.

STeve



Title: Re: Re: still evasive
Post by: KenC on April 08, 2002, 04:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: still evasive, posted by Quasimoto on Apr 7, 2002

Steve,
I was not debating that I knew more about AM abusing RW than you do.  But then again, I don't post misleading posts on the subject like you do either.  Every time your "opinion" on this or a similar subject is challanged, you get all pissy and defensive, but you continue to throw out generalizations and misquoted "facts".  As I said earlier, you are too close to this subject to objective.  Let me change your analogy of me being a TV repair man to a funeral director.  Using your logic, I would report to the board that everyone is dying.
KenC


Title: Re: Re: Re: still evasive
Post by: Quasimoto on April 08, 2002, 04:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: still evasive, posted by KenC on Apr 8, 2002

Not at all. I believe that the cross-section of men married to RW or seeking them is pretty much like the society in general. I also believe that those men who are seeking RW, who are abusive by nature, may be more predatory than abusers in general. What I mean is, pathalogical. It is AN opinion, but logical if you understand the dynamics of abusers. Read my article in the RussianWomensList under psychology and you may understand my thinking. However, I also believe a lot, though not all of what the articles on the feminist twist on abuse have to say. I have seen just as much of these incidences. My brother is being sued right now by a woman who he was counseling. He is a PHD in psychology in Bloomington Illinois. He travels the country doing clinics on these matters. She fell for him, and he told her she had to see someone else for counseling. She went loco and sued him. Now her lawyer has told her he wouldn't file...........because she is crazy and frivolous. Now she is suing the lawyer. I think they all should just go to bed together and forget the courts! What do you think? Anyway, I see this crap all the time with loco women. I have always said my biggest problem with AW is all their emotional and mental problems as evidenced by the "self-help sections at the bookstores. I want no part of it. My Tanya is the most normal and sweet woman imaginable. Not a raving beauty like your wife, but then again she makes my water boil!!!!, but she is "all that" and more, and that is all I need........NORMALICY!

Steve



Title: best of luck to you
Post by: KenC on April 08, 2002, 04:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Re: Re: still evasive, posted by Quasimoto on Apr 8, 2002

Steve,
I dated a lot of AW before I met Lena.  The "goofy factor" ran about 80% goofy to 20% non-goofy.  LOL.  I never even considered a long term relationship with any of them.  It was always 6 months tops.  I also agree on your take on self help books.  We MUST be very screwed up here in America or why else would there be so many books?  LOL.  Thanks for the compliment on Lena and best wishes for you and Tanya.
KenC


Title: Maple Hughes
Post by: Patrick on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Interesting Reading......but!, posted by Quasimoto on Apr 5, 2002

"I do not know of any RWs who have come here and murdered or beat up their spouses."

Well, there was one, but she did it in Ukraine, not here.

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Thebes/5361/



Title: Just a thought.... Could get slammed for this one...
Post by: Ryan on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: Interesting Reading......but!, posted by Quasimoto on Apr 5, 2002

I understand and respect your point; I have seen men like you speak of myself.  They should be locked up.  In the same respect I have seen some very manipulative American women that know how to push the right buttons to set off this chain reaction that occurs.  

When I see the statistics of domestic violence in FSU it also makes me think about this issue deeper.  We have read many stories here of how FSU woman can be very conniving and very smart in their ways of manipulation, now how many of them were a bigger part of the domestic violence problem in their country?  These are just questions that need to be researched at a larger level and probably will never really know the real answers.  

I just can’t stop thinking about when I was in the Ukraine I made a good friend with a cousin and the brother of the girl I went to see.  These guys and me went out together one afternoon fishing; they were looking at me like I was crazy.  They would ask why would you want these women around here?  They could not believe that I would travel so far just to see the women from their country.  I gave them the only answer I had; they have family values and all that stuff…bla bla bla…      Could it be there are so many single women from FSU because there is a simpler reason that we men here have failed to look at or address?  
Ryan



Title: Re: Just a thought.... Could get slammed for this one...
Post by: Quasimoto on April 06, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Just a thought.... Could get slammed for..., posted by Ryan on Apr 5, 2002

I think abuse is much more common and "accepted" in Ukraine and Russia. I have had contact with women's shelters "safe-houses" there. There are only 3 in the whole country of Ukraine right now as far as I know. I believe Rivne is the only city in Ukraine where the police are educated or get involved in domestic abuse cases.

As far as AWs, I have seen them use sexual abuse in divorce cases, physical abuse, just like some RWs have done in divorce cases to gain residency here. I think false claims should be punishable. Another idea that gets me into trouble with the feminists. I might point out a trend in some university towns. I have seen the entire staffs of abuse Hotlines that were Lesbian. No men were allowed. They used it as an "opportunity", if you know what I mean. The city specifically I am speaking of was Missoula, Montana. I don't know if it has changed, but there was a lot of trouble in agencies in Montana.

I think that there is a difference between the cry of "abuse" and the real thing. The average abused women leaves her abusive husband? 8 times before staying away and cutting ties. Problem is, each time she returns, she increases her chance of fatality.

Don't begin to think that anyone here who is less than a psychologist can have a greater insight into this area than I do. I lived it. I watched it. You aren't going to enlighten me with stats or articles, though I agree with a lot of what was in the one mentioned at the top of the link.

Steve



Title: Oh, I think you're right again
Post by: BubbaGump on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Just a thought.... Could get slammed for..., posted by Ryan on Apr 5, 2002

Women seem love to push our buttons to get us angry.  I think that triggers a lot of men to abuse their wives.  They should just leave us alone a while or just stay quiet and go for a walk with us until things cool off.


Title: no excuse
Post by: KenC on April 06, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Oh, I think you're right again, posted by BubbaGump on Apr 5, 2002

Bubba,
The irony of all this is that the closer you get to someone the more vulnerable you become to being hurt by that person.  A couple that is close knows exactly which buttons to push for each other.  That is one reason divorces usually gets so nasty.  We as men must fight our nature to take it to a physical level.  It is a card that never should be played.
KenC


Title: I wonder if ---
Post by: Mike on April 07, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to no excuse, posted by KenC on Apr 6, 2002

we men are really fighting our nature, or would it fall under nurture? I mean I've never had a problem wanting to strike a man when he asked for it, but would see hitting a women the same way I would look at hitting something defensless, or something??? I know it's in my head instantly to not react with violance, and I can't recall ever being taught not to hit girls, I've always seen them as something to protect. Hmmm maybe it's the oldest child thingy and I had 3 little sisters??
Mike


Title: Re: I wonder if ---
Post by: Quasimoto on April 07, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to I wonder if ---, posted by Mike on Apr 7, 2002

Your a healthy man!


Title: Re: no excuse
Post by: Quasimoto on April 06, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to no excuse, posted by KenC on Apr 6, 2002

Well said!


Title: Ummm Well ahh... ya I guess
Post by: Ryan on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Oh, I think you're right again, posted by BubbaGump on Apr 5, 2002

I have never really been in that position to have someone push those buttons, but I got it purity laid back so I don't know, one extreme or the next it all sounds like something I hope I never have to deal with.


Title: I think everyone has buttons
Post by: Mike on April 06, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Ummm Well ahh... ya I guess, posted by Ryan on Apr 5, 2002

I too am cosidered laid back and hard to upset, but if you live with any women she will find those buttons that you didn't know existed. I think it is in their genetic make up from birth to find a mans weak point and step on it when they feel the need to. (wink)
Mike


Title: Angry rant by a militant masculinazi?
Post by: Patrick on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Interesting Reading......, posted by Ryan on Apr 5, 2002

Perhaps some, or even most or all of it is true and factual, but it certainly didn't look like any research report to me.  It wasn't very well written, and I noticed that the URL at the bottom of the page where the original document was supposed to be located, along with footnotes and cited sources, was no longer on-line.  Not very credible IMHO.  Looked like a rant from an angry man.  Loaded language, sources not cited, etc., etc.

I read an interesting report from real researchers regarding disparity in pay between men and women that blew away the commonly held belief that females are grossly underpaid compared to males.  Most of the studies done simply select an equal number of men and women at random and compare their salaries.  When this particular study was conducted, they compared equal numbers of men and women each in the same field with similar levels of experience and education.  The "gross inequity" came down to around 1-2%.

Perhaps there's some real research into domestic violence that similarly dispells the common wisdom regarding that issue, but this wasn't it.



Title: How about these references, Patrick.
Post by: Jeff S on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Angry rant by a militant masculinazi?, posted by Patrick on Apr 5, 2002

http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

-- Jeff S.



Title: Re: How about these references, Patrick.
Post by: Quasimoto on April 07, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to How about these references, Patrick., posted by Jeff S on Apr 5, 2002

I can accept it, and as I have said all along, I agree with most of what has been said. Especially, abuse of children, infanicide, and abuse in the legal system. However, one point that should be made, is that women view violence differntly than men. If a woman slapped me, I would say "big deal". If I slapped her, she may end up with stitches in her scalp when she hits her head. Incidence does not account for severity of incidence. If someone here is abusive, male or female and uses some statistical excuse, or she made me do it, or anthing else, then burn in hell as far as I am concerned! :) If she is abusive, then wear a flak jacket or get her help!

Steve



Title: True - there should be a zero tolerance . . .
Post by: Jeff S on April 08, 2002, 04:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: How about these references, Patrick., posted by Quasimoto on Apr 7, 2002

. . . BOTH ways.

-- Jeff S



Title: Re: True - there should be a zero tolerance . . .
Post by: Quasimoto on April 08, 2002, 04:00:00 AM
... in response to True - there should be a zero tolerance ..., posted by Jeff S on Apr 8, 2002

Can't argue!

Steve



Title: WOW! Now I know why
Post by: Mike on April 06, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to How about these references, Patrick., posted by Jeff S on Apr 5, 2002

I always wondered why my mom beat the crap out of me and dad usually just used his voice. Mom was just frustraited! Actually I thought those statistics were very interesting. I've never been around much domestic violence and was surprised of those results. I guess it goes to show how one sided this issue is and how easy it is to be blinded because our society always make it appear as if the women are the ones that are suffering. Could you imagine what men would look like if women were the stronger sex! Geeze we would be walking bruises!
Mike


Title: That's exactly what that article was lacking
Post by: Patrick on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to How about these references, Patrick., posted by Jeff S on Apr 5, 2002

The lack of references and poor writing style ruined it for me.


Title: Re: Angry rant by a militant masculinazi?
Post by: Ryan on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Angry rant by a militant masculinazi?, posted by Patrick on Apr 5, 2002

My findings were also the same...  The footnote URL didn't work.  It made me ask some interesting questions.  Yes more research will have to be done as to find more reliable data.


Title: Re: I didn't read that URL source, but......
Post by: wsbill on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Interesting Reading......, posted by Ryan on Apr 5, 2002

Women are equally allowed their fair share of a voice in matters pertaining to them.  Are some of you guys paranoid about his issue.



Title: Not the Issue...
Post by: Ryan on April 05, 2002, 05:00:00 AM
... in response to Re: I didn't read that URL source, but....., posted by wsbill on Apr 5, 2002

I agree with you on this matter that women are allowed equality but this is not the issue!!  The issue is that these women bend the information for their own agenda’s.  No I am not paranoid I just want equality in this type of voice that seems to be so powerful in our government. (How many men’s domestic violence shelter is in your city?  I am an Architectural draftsman and I just got through drawing two centers in my little city…  Who pays for it?  In a round about way…  You do…)

Unlike Natalya below (And many people from the FSU that I have gotten to ask the same question I asked Natalya) I care about politics and feel that my vote does make a difference.  I am not a sheep that can be herded around or an ostrich to hide my head in the sand.  I stand up and speak!

From the article I like the last statement:
The radical feminist agenda of “Men bad women good” has permeated the culture on a fundamentally important issue (Domestic Violence), and once again it has done a terrible disservice.