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I want  to say" Thank you"  to some of the men that post here. Over the past weeks , I have  read a lot of bad things here. However , there Has been a lot of good also. I think I had told on this board that for the past year and a half I have been writing a lady in Russia. But I did not feel that she was the one for me. I want to tell this story becasue I feel it will really help some. Oh, she told me yesterday that it has been over two years we have been writing to each other. I have learned that RW keep up with things like that.  she lives in moldova and teaches English at a University. Yes, she is allways on me about my grammer. :) I was writing to another Rw there and she was translating the letters for her. It did not work out with the other lady, so she worte me a letter. We started writing each other. She has her own computer at home so e-mailing each other was easy. We would write each other 4 or 5 times a day. She never ask me for anything.  After about 6 months of writing to each other, she ask me one day when I was going to come over and  meet her in person. I told her that i did not see anyreason to meet her in person because we were just freinds. well, she was very hurt over this. I stopped writing to her at that time. But she never stopped writing to me. She was nto writing every day now. But any holiday she would write me. she knew my mothers birthday, my birthday, my sons birthday and my brothers and sisiter's birthday. she would allways wirte and ask me to tell them happy birthday. I would allway wirte back and tell her thank you.  we started talking to each other again each day about a year ago.  In each letter she would allways tell me , she loved me. we talked a little about what had happen before. She ask me  if it would be ok to write me even if I did not think she was the one for
me.  we write each other every day. 5 , 6  7 times a day. I sent her the money to get a web cam. so now we get on pal talk and spend hours talking to each other. we can see each other and talk to each other.
 A few weeks ago on the post. someone said something about allways thinkng you can do better in finding a RW. I do not remember who said that. But it hit home with me. Mila is a very nice looking lady. she is 41 years old. I ask myself, if I was looking past the perfect wife for me because I am thinking I can do better. When you are looking at this ladies on the dating site's.  You see so many beautifu women that you may past over the one that was really right for you. A few days ago, we were on pal talk to gather and I looked at her and it hit, I could never give her up for someone else.  I have been  a food for not seeing the real Mila. she never gave up on me even when I told her that I did not feel she was the right one for me. She is very beautiful on the outside, but even more on the inside. Why did I not feel she was the right one? because she is 5 foot 5. I wanted some one a little taller because I am tall. silly me, Do we miss the women that we woudl really be happy with all becasue we are allways tryin go do better. I feel that is true in my case. today, I have to eat crow. I knwo thatwhen she gets in from teaching. the first thing she will do  i se-mail and tell me she is home. does this everyday. I am going to write her back and tell her how wrong I have been and that I really do love her. we know alot about each other.  I have even talked to her parents on pal talk with her. any time we are on line togather, her mother allways tells her to tell me hello.  I am going to see her now. she may kill me today after all this. I don't know.

Again, thank you  to the person that said that. it helped me know what I really wanted.
Terry

... in response to Thank you for all the help, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

I remember those same words about thinking you can always do better. I think that simple indecision when there are so many options makes this a potential problem.

I enjoyed your post. Good luck

... in response to Thank you for all the help, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

Terry,

It was really nice to ready your story. Your Mila is quite a woman from what you wrote. You sound like a really lucky guy. And when you wrote that she said she would have kept waiting on you until she died.... well I was moved. Go see her, and best of luck to you.

I still can't believe you almost passed her up because of her height, and 5 ft 5 inches at that! How could you?? :)

My fiance is also 5 ft 5 inches. I'm rather tall at 6 ft 2 inches.

Maybe you just couldn't picture it in your head or something, I don't know. I don't know if you're any taller than me, but I can't imagine passing up someone because she's 7 inches shorter than me.

But of course, I know, to each his own. I'm just glad you came to your senses :).

Tell you what, I'll e-mail you a couple of pictures of her and me together if you would like, and you can see that our height difference is nothing to balk about :). I hope it'll make you feel better.

And a "bonus", when you go out with her one day, she'll probably wear high-heeled shoes, if she's anything like most of the women I saw in Ukraine. That height difference will be even less.

Let me know,

Peace,

-Deckard

P.S. Sorry Tim, I haven't forgotten about you, just practically swamped right now.

... in response to A touching story, posted by Deckard on Mar 1, 2002

Thank You Deckard

 Yes, I really feel like I am very lucky.  I am 6"2 also. I was one of those that made a list of what I wanted.  One of the  things on the list was she would have to be no less that 5" 8.  I know I was a fool. Here is a lady that I talk to each day and we write each other many times a day. For two years we have done this.  We have talked about  things, that I have read here, that You just do not talk to a Russian women about before you meet in person. we know just about everything about each other. she knows my own life and I knows hers. we even write thur really mail. I have hundreds of pictures of her and she the same of me. She is 41, but looks more like she is in early 30's. We joke with each other all the time. One day, she came home from work and did not write me. she was feeling bad and layed down to rest. I wrote her and joking with her told her she was not to come in and not check in with me first. Now i was just joking with her.  When she wrote me back, she told she understood and I was right, she should check in before she did anything.  We can disagree on things and not get mad at each other.  I had told her about this forum, she does not like it. I know it is because she dose not understand it.  After reading that in the forum, I ask myself this question, could I give up such a wonderful women , was the feelings really there for her. yes they are.  I trust her to no end. I ask her one time if she wrote to other men? she told me  she did not want to write to other men.   I guess i am talking ot much. I knew I cared about her, now it is good to know  tht I really do love her. 5'5 is wonderful:)

... in response to Re: A touching story, posted by terry on Mar 2, 2002

Height is the last problem you'd worry about.

... in response to Terry, My hubby 6"2' and me 5"..., posted by Natalya on Mar 2, 2002

I can't remember which.  The height difference never bothered me...

... in response to Thank you for all the help, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

Well, it looks like I am going to Moldova. we were on pal talk for over three hours. all is well. I learned a lot about RW today.  I feel i am real lucky. Mila is very open and talks to me about just about everything. it was interting to learn that I am the only america man she has ever wrote to about herself. She has worked with some agency in the past as an intrepeter. I ask her why she wrote me after it did not work out between the other lady and I. she told me, remember I read your letters to her.  Yes she is one happy lady. she is 7 hours ahead of me in time. but she did not want to stop talking. everthing is great now. I will start working monday on going to see her. we are so much alike , it is hard to understand, she told me she would have waited on me until she had died.  she knew it would happen some day.

... in response to Re: ( update)Thank you for all the help, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

Guys... when you meet a woman like that...

Give up.

I mean.. just... give... up...

When a good woman decides you're it, and she'll wait until she dies before she gives in... just buy the dayum ring already... it's all over, and you just don't know it yet :-)

Good for you, Terry!

... in response to Re: ( update)Thank you for all the help, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

Forgot, in telling her why I was wrong, I told her about this forum, she does not like forums she feel that it is a place wher men just talk about their wifes. one day next week. i am going to help her get in here if i can. she has some problem with her internet connetion and I don't know if someone from Russian can get to this forum. any ideas?  I was thinking about copy and paste it to an e-mail to her. will it work?

... in response to Re: Re: ( update)Thank you for all the h..., posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

Terry, your posts are appreciated, but often intelligible. I don't know if it my browser or something else such as an electronic glitch, is causing this problem.  But it is a lot of work to decipher much of what you post here. Are you familiar with spellcheck and grammarcheck? If you can learn how to use them, your posts would take on considerably more credibility. Just a suggestion!
I wish you much success in your pursuit of happiness.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: ( update)Thank you for all t..., posted by rojak on Mar 1, 2002

Rojak,

Your posts are appreciated, but please refrain from castigating others for grammatical and spelling errors until you yourself attain a higher level of diction and are capable of error-free discourse.  I find your message to be somewhat unintelligible and condescending, not to mention rife with error.  We're only human and nobody's perfect.

Anyone who can post without calling someone else names or insulting the whole board is okay in my book.  Whether they write well or not.

Patrick (who's currently posting with the help of a spell checker)

... in response to Let he who is without grammatical error ..., posted by Patrick on Mar 1, 2002

Er... I mean write so good...

Ummm... I mean write so well...

Awww ... sheesh!

Lighten up on the guy, would you?

He's in love...

... in response to Re: ( update)Thank you for all the help, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

How'd it go?  Is she still crying or did she kill you already?  Hope is well..

... in response to Re: ( update)Thank you for all the help, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

letter is on the way to her, waiting for bomb to go off:)

... in response to Re: ( update)Thank you for all the help, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002


Just so you know...

I am 6'2". When I got divorced, it was a shock to me... but suddenly I started thinking: Wow, I can be with anyone right now. Time to find my dream woman.

And I started thinking... hmmm, my ex-wife was 5'4" ... wouldn't it be nice to have someone taller?

Sheesh the mind games we play!

The woman who I finally fell head over heels in love with was 5'2"!

And do you know what...? It got to the point where I couldn't imagine being with anyone taller. I loved the way she fit... and the way I could totally wrap her up in my arms.

When we finally broke up (after three years) I dated someone who was 5'11". No contest. I would have traded her for my 5'2" beauy any day.

So... I understand the height thing. But you are right... there are SO many things more important. We need to sometimes let go of our preconceived notions and just let love take us sometimes...

... in response to Re: ( update)Thank you for all the help, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

I think sometimes people have that "ideal" mate visualized and refuse to deviate from that norm.  While everyone has to make a choice regarding how much deviation is allowed for a woman should fit within those ideals, I suspect that the person who holds that deviation too small will find much more difficulty finding and keeping a mate.

Why do I think this?  It boils down to one word, acceptance.  Those who are too locked in on their vision of an ideal mate will be less tolerant of others who are close, but not perfect enough.  Worse, if that deviation is met initially, it may cause more problems later when some other aspect of the mate does not meet the seeker's criteria.  The person may even feeled betrayed somehow by their mate, thinking "This isn't the person I married."

That's why I suggest that before searching, most people make two lists.  The first list is what your ideal mate would have.  The second list is what you would realistically accept.  Then, any prospective mate who met all the "realistic" criteria could then be evaluated for "ideal" traits.  If your prospective mate meets your more important ideal traits, then he/she could be rated higher in your consideration.

Like you, I was looking for someone different than whom I ended up with.  I made the acquaintence with my wife through a mistake in letter routing.  I had requested that my first letter go to one Marina and it went to a different one instead.  Had I been too hung up on ideals, I would have passed up on the best person to ever happen to me.  As it is, I ended up with a woman of much higher caliber than what I had expected to find.

As always, this is simply my 2¢ and strictly my opinion and experiences.  Your mileage may vary...

... in response to Miss Right or Miss Realistic?, posted by John K on Mar 1, 2002

Thanks

... in response to Re: ( update)Thank you for all the help, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

You know it is like sometimes we're so blind like newborn kittens and we don't see and recognize obvious things when they right before our eyes.And one day it is just like that, click, and your vision become clear and you think "What did I think  and where my eyes were all these years".Good thing that better late than never that you realized Mila is the right person for you.I wish you all the best.She'll be happiest person ever today when you tell her about your feelings toward her.Good luck to you.

Natalya

... in response to Terry, I'm so so happy for you!!!, posted by Natalya on Mar 1, 2002

Thank You Natalya

Just got e-mail from her so i am getting ready to write her. she is in real good mood. she send me her "Morzishor"

she was telling me that today is the first day March and is a tradition in Moldova  to give this symbol of spring as new hope to every body you love. she sent me her " Morzishor" as her sign of love for me. ever heard of this before?

wow, did not know this, wait till she hears what I tell her:)

... in response to Re: Terry, I'm so so happy for you!!!, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

unfortunately.Must be some kind of Moldovian tradition.Would you please find out what exactly "Morzishor" represents.I'd like to know. I know in Belarus and in Russia there are plants called "Mimoza" kind of yellow fuzzy little flowers.These plants represent spring and new life. Alot of times men give bouquet of toulips and mimosa to women on March 8, Russian Women Day.

... in response to Terry, never heard of "Morzishor&qu..., posted by Natalya on Mar 1, 2002

"Martsishor" comes from martie (the month of March in Romanian) it is the diminutive of martie, or little martie in the Romanian language, and Moldavian is nothing but a regional, Romanian dialect, in other words Moldavian = Romanian.
The custom seems to have originated in Romania, therefore by extension is customary in Moldova too.

It's:
1.the name of this March 1st holiday, somehow close to St. Valentine in meaning and custom.
2. as well as the name of the little gift in the form and size of a brooch which people give and receive on this day, and which is worn on the left side on the chest.
It's like a small insignia, symbol, or a jewelry-like little flower, animal, etc. made out of metal, glass, plastic, wood, even jewelry, artistically made, which is attached or tied to a nice piece of thread (like the thread in which pastries boxes are tied up with in the pastry shops here, the alternating white and red thread), but it has on one end a red small but long tuft and a white one on the other end.
Somehow the thread is ornamentally tied up in such a way that the two tufts hang below the "brooch" and above it there are two or four nice small "bends" or circles of this thread, well usually girls and ladies know and do this arangement, but in the end it looks very nicely.
One gives such a "martsishor" to the wife, or to the husband, to the kids, to (some of the) ladies at work, to other lady friends, female or children relatives, generally to someone close or who is important to someone, but not to other men, in the case of a man.
A woman, to all of the above, and also to some close men, if she wants. There are some (other) unwritten, flexible rules about this, but generally this is the main idea behind it.
Ladies who are teachers probably get most of these "martsishori", since usually kids strive to give them, if not whole-heartedly, at least to impress them anyway!
In the end one receives many such "martsishori", and usually kids and women end up wearing a couple of them, on the left side (the side of the heart), and the men only one or two. The ones "less important" or "significant", are kept as souvenirs.
Kids, women, and teenagers have a lot of fun with them, and there is always the wish and desire to get and wear the ones from the ones one loves most!

... in response to Martsishor comes from martie (March, in ..., posted by Vox on Mar 3, 2002

Thanks Vox

that helps me understand a little more about it. Mila drew one and e-mailed it to me.  I see what you are talking about.

... in response to Terry, never heard of "Morzishor&qu..., posted by Natalya on Mar 1, 2002

Morzishor is a Festival that starts the 1st day of march in moldova.  it last for a week and they make silk flowers to give to all the girls and women during this time.  Mila said they have  a lot guest from Slavik republics. it is a time of hope , love and happiness.  I did nt knwo about this festival until she e-mailed me the letter today with her Morzishar. last year , this time, she told me she wanted to, but i was being stubborn. ha.  she got my letter and is very happy right now.  she is asking me a lot ofquestion right now. but ,I can tell she is very happy right now, but I think she wants to make sure I am being sincere in what I told her. she also told me that Mimoza is a yellow flower that is given on marth 6th to women  in russia.  She said that Morzishar is a  moldova word.

... in response to Re: Terry, I'm so so happy for you!!!, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

I hope it goes well for the two of you.

... in response to Re: ( update)Thank you for all the help, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

Terry,
Just wanted to tell you that your story made me smile and feel great.  Best of luck to you.
KenC

... in response to a very cool story, posted by KenC on Mar 1, 2002


In Ken's case he had to get over the fact that his wife turned out be be younger and sexier than he had planned.

It's a rough dayum life... ain't it Ken?

LOL...

... in response to Yeah... we all have to get over somethin..., posted by MarkInTx on Mar 1, 2002

Mark,
And with all the sad stories we hear here, I am glad to be able to provide a happy one.  What's so dam hard about this anyway?  Find a gorgous girl, call her, fall in love, bring her here, marry her and live happily ever after.  Geeez.
KenC

... in response to it is a tough job, but someone had to do..., posted by KenC on Mar 1, 2002

You know... the "Find her" thing...

The rest seems easy...

That first part seems to take a wee bit o' luck...

You're not Irish, by any chance, are ya?

... in response to Thank you for all the help, posted by terry on Mar 1, 2002

Can anyone advise any contacts for daily rent in Moscow?
Thanks a lot.