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What is the typical dating process for Russian couples in Russia?  How long does a guy go out with a girl prior to them becoming exclusive?  Generally how long from the first date until marriage?  I know it varies from case to case and age groups like here, however, I just want to get an idea how atypical it is for us to go over and propose after two weeks with a girl etc.

Thanks

... in response to Typical Dating Process in Russia, posted by hockeybrain on Feb 26, 2002

I have no experience from the Russian datig scene, however my impression is that things are more relaxed there. If you like someone you spend time with him/her without it being very "official".

From first date until marriage? Just like in the west I think Russians would prefer to really love the other person deeply before marriage is actuality. Before they meet such a person, a person for life, it's more a dating game, live life... Of course the hard reality of the world probably makes many utilise a set of practical criterias when they choose who and when to marry.

My guess is that your conscious reason for looking for a wife is to find a person for life, a person to really love and who loves you back. Maybe I'm mistaken, however my belief is that it's next to impossible to really love a person after two weeks. You can fall in love in an instant, yes. You can get some kind of hunch in very short time, yes. But to really love a person takes months.

When I saw my wife first time I was astonished. After three days I fell in love. After one year with e-mail/phone contact and four meetings I really loved her. Three months later I proposed to her.

Love is something that needs to ripen and grow over time. "You can't hurry love". E.g. now, two years after I met my wife I can get physical ill if she cries. The day after I sometimes get fever.

IMHO people who marries after two weeks takes a huge chance with what might be love or not. They also marries out of practical reasons, it being bad life situation or only two weeks vacations available (Combined with other reasons).

Love is universial. As long we not try to rush it out of practical reasons, it probably takes the same time in Russia as well in USA.

Good luck!

Regards from the man married to Europe's most fantastic woman.

... in response to Typical Dating Process in Russia, posted by hockeybrain on Feb 26, 2002

I have no idea how anyone can answer this correctly. In my case I met my wife once there and spent as much time as I could with her. Then I came back to the states and thought and thought how sweet she was and stayed in contact with her a lot and then I asked her if she would come and visit me. ( I had no idea how hard that could be )Once I figured out the only way was a fiancee visa we went this route.

After she was here a short time and we were enjoying each others company I asked her to marry me and stay as long as she wanted,and when she wanted to return we would get a disalusion (or whatever)She agreed after thinking about it, and we still enjoy being with each other.---- Except when I pisss her off from time to time.

Remember you have 90 days to marry so after you meet her and want to know her better you wouldn't be the first to bring one here to do this, and I doubt she can force you into marriage. By the way, you can get as many fiancee visas as you wish and it's not true that you can only do this once.
Mike

... in response to Re: Typical Dating Process in Russia, posted by Mike on Feb 26, 2002

Some guys have said that you can't get as many fiancee visas as you want.  First one, ok, second one, you get a hard time, third one, get lost Buster, you're just messing with the girls.  Of course it could depend on the INS office.

... in response to Fiancee Visa Limit, posted by BubbaGump on Feb 27, 2002

I know a guy that is working on his forth one and has seen no difference. I might add that he uses the Nebraska service center.
Mike

... in response to Re: Fiancee Visa Limit, posted by Mike on Feb 27, 2002

They're decent non-facist folk.  In other parts of the country I don't think the service would be so friendly.

... in response to Re: Fiancee Visa Limit, posted by Mike on Feb 27, 2002

What's his story?!?

- Dan

... in response to Fourth K-1 Visa !! How Well Do You Know ..., posted by Dan on Feb 27, 2002

He is my cousin and so far he has brought 2 girls here and canceled one 2 weeks before she was to attend her interview. He has recently received his 1st NOA on his current application which is the 4th one he has submitted. As for his reasons and story, one girl was unable to adjust because she spoke no English and was home sick , another girl he brought here for a few weeks of fun together and it was the only way to get her here. The 3rd he realized at the last minute she was playing him for a sucker.
If you think about it, the government can't control how many times an American can fall in and out of love so they can't place a limit on the K-1 visa.
Mike

... in response to Re: Fourth K-1 Visa !! How Well Do You K..., posted by Mike on Feb 27, 2002

Does your cousin speak Russian (or the language from whatever country his fiance was from)?

Are these ladies all from the same country - or different?

Mike, I agree that the American government cannot legislate love - however, there is sufficient judgement (theirs) allowed in the process that I have a hard time believing it to be an open-ended proposition.

I think it was KenC that knows someone who tried for a 3rd time on a K-1 and was told explicitly by the INS office that it would be his last approved petition.

- Dan

... in response to Sounds Pretty Casual . . ., posted by Dan on Feb 27, 2002

Who knows maybe this 4th time they will send a letter telling him to stop or slow down. (wink)I suppose whoever is working on the case will be the one that makes this decission or will say something?? I just know he is on his 4th and hasn't had any problems. I might add this is over a 3 year period. After the girl he really liked wanted to go home because of not fitting in to easy here may be why he's decided to take it all with a grain of salt??
Mike

... in response to Re: Sounds Pretty Casual . . ., posted by Mike on Feb 27, 2002

I am not trying to give you (or your cousin) a hard time, but I remain a little curious about some things. For instance:

* How many trips has he taken to the FSU?
* How long has he known these ladies? I suppose 4 K-1's in 3 years is only a bit more than 1 per year, but still . . .
* How does he meet these ladies?
* And finally, was it your cousin that got you interested in this pursuit - or vice versa?

- Dan

... in response to Mike, Don't Be Offended/Defensive . . ., posted by Dan on Feb 27, 2002

Thanks for being a gentleman about this Dan.
Yes he got me interested in this whole thing. I was doing the bar scene and dating the average girls here and dreaming of going back to the 50's to find a girl. He started going to Ukrain about 4 years ago and I would get bits and pieces of info about his trips and the ladies there. What was funny I assumed he was going to Russia! At the time I remember him saying something about St-petersburg, it was after I returned that I learned he had a layover there and he had been going to Ukrain. Anyway I had just broke up with a girl and said what the heck I'm going to Russia and try to forget this girl and see what all the talk is about, and within a week I had tickets for Moscow for a 3 week stay. I had a month to find a place to stay and all that and used the internet. My cousin goes to the Ukrain about every 4 to 6 months and loves it there and I really can only guess how often he's been there. ( maybe 6 to 8 times?) He did have a few ladies come there from Russia to meet him, and he just returned from his first stay in Russia (Moscow) and that was to spend some time with a Russian that came to Ukrain to meet him ( she is the one he now has a I-129f with ). He liked Moscow so much that if this relationship turns out to be a failure I wouldn't be surprised that he moves to Moscow. His first trip to the Ukrain was your basic "let someone else make all your plans" type trip, but after that he does everything on his own. He meets many girls in chat rooms, free web sites, and meets an equal amount if not more once he is there he said.  I wanted to add that his average price per trip is about $2500. I hoped I answered everything.
Mike

... in response to Re: Mike, Don't Be Offended/Defensive . ..., posted by Mike on Feb 27, 2002

I don't know if I'd recommend your cousin's approach for everyone - but one aspect is on track. He has recognized that the process takes time, dedication and money.

Candidly, I wonder about his sincerity - but I'm sure I am not seeing everything and perhaps he is completely open and honest with the ladies.

I hope, for everyone's sake, that the next one results in a long-term commitment.

Please pass along my best wishes for a successful outcome to him/them.

Cheers,

- Dan

... in response to Sounds Pretty Casual . . ., posted by Dan on Feb 27, 2002

for those of us in serious relationships to get through the process.  Too many folks using the k-1 as a visitor's visa slow it down for the rest of us.  Oh well.

... in response to Re: Fourth K-1 Visa !! How Well Do You K..., posted by Mike on Feb 27, 2002

another girl he brought here for a few weeks of fun together and it was the only way to get her here.

how disgusting? it is guys like your cousin who give the process a bad name.

... in response to Re: Re: Fourth K-1 Visa !! How Well Do Y..., posted by ron on Feb 27, 2002

Ron,
your average Joe has no idea how the visa system works, and has no idea how this friend of his came here. They simply assume she hoped on a plane with no problems and they know nothing of the complicated procedure. As for your statement that he makes the process look bad is beyond me. If I told you nothing about it, and I know he doesn't go around telling everyone he brought her here as his fiancee, then how does this make the system look bad? Sounds like you may be jeliouse, but I'm not going to assume that because unlike you I can't have an oppinion without knowing all the facts inside someones head or situation. That would make me something like a feminazi.
Mike
Mike

... in response to Re: Re: Fourth K-1 Visa !! How Well Do Y..., posted by ron on Feb 27, 2002

Firstly I'm going defend my cousin mainly because he's blood, but secoundly because you guys are crying just like feminazi but in reverse. If you bring a girl here on a K-1 and only met her once you are doing exactly the same thing and that is hoping like heck it will work, because there is no way a girl with a brain will be in love after writing letters and spending a short time with you. The difference is He doesn't give up and he keeps trying. Yes he should have his head cut off for bringing a friend here on a K-1 visa but I once heard where a man was a friend with a girl and they fell in love! ( I know sounds crazy huh )Someone asked what countries they were from , well so far 2 from Ukrain and 2 from Russia and yes he speaks the language a little ( a lot compared to me )It takes exactly 15 minutes or less to process the I-129F and only god remembers where I read that. So if you think the 15 minutes of INS time he used up is what causes the INS to be slow you're not so well informed. Firstly I watched the NSC go from being 5 months behind in I-129f applications and within 6 weeks they were doing them in less then 2 week, so there again proves it's not the problem. As of now no girl has been heart broken and he has not suffered either, and only one girl is mad and that is the one that he learned was a player, so he doesn't really care how she feels. If you want to scorn someone, scorn the INS they force men to use the K-1 instead of a system that will allow us to be tourest sponsers. I can say this much about him. He doesn't set at home he actually is working at this more so then those that never leave their computer screen!
Mike

... in response to Re: Typical Dating Process in Russia, posted by Mike on Feb 26, 2002

Nice writing... I think he was talking about Russian couples in Russia.  You know in their own culture/country.  It is an interesting question.