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Hi peeps, nice to meet ya all. I believe many of your are looking for some international friends/marriage/whatever. I have a que, which may not sound polite enuff, but i'm so curious.....

That's about marriage ads from western men looking for  russian fem. I got an impression that some of you are asking for too much,  like: 50 yo men, a supermarket surepvisor is looking for 18-25 yo well educated female w/o kids,slim, good looking (and the rest). I would say that well educated females NEVER look at supermarket supervisors, leaving aside the age difference and other discrepancies.

From another hand i hear from foreigners that ruswomen married them for money/immigration/other benefits........but asking for THAT much the 50 yo man can get NO answeres or be deceived, it's obvious to me that he can not be interesting for a young well educated beauty(plus rusmen r not blind or stupid ;) and normally marry these women themselves.

Hope i didn't abuse anybody,
will be happy to get any comments

LARA

... in response to Supply&Demand, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

Because I've already figured out I can expect to live 24 years longer than Ukranian men!  That's why.

... in response to Supply&Demand, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

Lara,

It'll do you no good posting stuff like that here. You're not saying anything that hasn't already been said many,many,many times here in the past. The fact is that there are a lot (though by no means all) of men involved in this pursuit who are determined to find a woman 20+ years younger than they are and who looks good on their arm. Denial seems to be their best method of defense when others tell them they're asking for trouble. For example, they'll say things like "a large age difference dosen't matter if we have common interests and likes" or "RW are much more mature than their Western counterparts of the same age" etc.
That's not to say that all such relationships are doomed to failure, as some can work out, but they're far and few between. But telling the men who want much younger women that this isn't a good idea is like telling teenagers that it's not a good idea to go to parties where there's booze and drugs to be had -- if they really want to do it, no one or nothing will stop them.

... in response to You're wasting your time, posted by NK on Feb 19, 2002

i got this impression yesterday-that it was very silly of me to think that anyone will at least look at the mirror or smell his own body :( before asking for a fem -20yo. The subject was discussed it in our feministic russian forums, you know how much women like to talk about love :D I was invited to come and listen to the other side. I'm SO HAPPY i have never dealt with this "marriage business" before - i would be very unlikely after that to marry a foreigner :(
So i'm just checking responses to my message , don't want to be rude ignoring nice sincere messages like your :D
After that i'll go back to work, holidays r over :(

... in response to Supply&Demand, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

Playtimes over.  Time to cook a little can of Dinty Moore beef stew and feed the hubby and kids.

... in response to Supply&Demand, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

is that this is her experience with Russian women - that many have low ethical standards relative to an agenda of getting out of the FSU. They will intentionally marry a foreign man when they do not love him. They justify it if you are stupid enough to go there.

There are women like this - of course we all know it. There are men who stretch the limits - we all know that also. It is good for a Russian woman to remind men of this.

However, Lara - this thing about 3 to 7 years difference in age. The Russian men that I met do not follow this rule. I am not sure how you came up with this. I date women ten years younger than me all the time in the USA. Why would I intentionally look for an older women from the FSU?

... in response to I suspect what Lara is telling us, posted by thesearch on Feb 18, 2002

I think you got me right, thesearch. The main idea was not to look for a daughter to marry :D Russian men think of 10 years difference pretty positive and no1 will think of 2-3 more years if it comes to love. But when a young lovely creature declares that she would love to marry 10+ older man - to me it sounds as @DADDY TAKE ME OUT OF HERE!!"

I see the situation from another side, no personal benefits, i'm pleased you and some other ppl were not trying to take a piece of me,
TNX
Lara

... in response to Supply&Demand, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

One usually derives conclusions based upon their life experience what they have seen or heard and then process the information in the form of an opinion.  Most people find their own opinions to be important...even sacrosanct.  One can also give advice to others based upon their opinion. When it comes to love and marriage,  you can usually throw out all those little advices.  They are like little myths,  endowed with some truth and some untruth.  It is difficult indeed to calculate in advance just exactly what attributes and everything your future partner will possess.  Marriage is not a goal...like a touchdown or the end of a search...it is really the beginning.  You never know just what life or a marriage has in store for you until you have begun to really live it.  An example,  my best friend at 25,  married a beautiful and rich (very)18 year old.  Everyone said the marriage is doomed.  No way it could ever work...she had beauty, brains, class and a net worth my buddy never had dreamed of.  And he certainly was not a "blue blood",  like her family and social contemperaries.  Everyones opinion was that she could have almost any guy she wished and in the future my buddy would be traded-in.  Well,  they just celebrated their 25th anniversary.  They had good dynamics and they had good character and of course love,  which evolved as they grew in their marriage.

Many times I also see the "age" horse whipped to death on this board.  4, 7, 12, 15, 20, 25 differences debated about like a bunch of "relationship therapists"...the ones who are normally divorced.  It really is how interesting and appealing the guy is... which really moves a woman.  No,  the grocery manager may not move the intelligent and beautiful 25 year old girl...things just ain't gonna work out.  But the interesting guy very well may.  And he may have the abitility to make this girl feel good about herself and her life and that is numero uno.  And happy women very seldom stray,  although the opportunity is always present.  And marriage again,  ain't some acheived goal...its more like the starting line in a marathon. Prior to this you can discuss it all and calibrate it and measure it and quantify and qualify it... but in love...forget it.  There are many other factors involved.  

ps: Myself,  years ago I did everything right.  Had the perfect marriage with the perfect girl,  such great opinions and predictions et al.  Within 5 years it made the sinking of the Titanic look Ok.  So,  love,  you never know.And the people who think they do...know sheeeett.

... in response to Supply&Demand, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

Lara,

Unfortunately, I think sometimes the senerio you posed does happen.  I also think that there are many who are looking for a Russian wife for many good reasons.  My Russian wife is 12 years younger than me.  Because I am very active at 37, it really isn't an issue...perhaps later in life!?!  My wife has been here 3 months and I will summarize by saying she is a very caring, dependable and loving person.  After about 15 years of searching for such a wife in America I decided it was not possible for me.  Now things are great and I am enjoying learning Russian (going to college classes) and she is learning English and I am learning a lot about her culture.  Please don't assume everbody fits in the situation you mentioned....there are a lot of different reasons.

... in response to Re: Supply&Demand, posted by Rickster on Feb 18, 2002

sure, Rick , 12 years difference is not bad ( a bit much to my mind, but it's YOUR business ) i'm glad 2 hear you both r happy.

the only que - do you think your wife will stay with you in a couple of years when she speaks proper english, find a nice job and learn from other peeps that if she were not russian (read second rate :( ) you would never have a chance 2 marry her.........

Plus there is a strange (to my russian mind) attitude from other men - it looks like everyone wants to date a married woman, it's a bit strange - in Russia we normally say "i'm married" -full stop!!!!-but foreigners start @ Are you HAPPILY married?" what would you wife say when she speaks well enuff to understand and reply ;)?

BR
Lara

... in response to Re: Re: Supply&Demand, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

Laura, that is not entirely true. Russian men are infamous for having extramarital affairs, more then one mistress at a time and many of their wives are aware of it and some even expect it. Possibly many marriages in FSU end up in divorce because of this, but then maybe not? In U.S., chances are very great marriage will end up in divorce. Why marriages would likely "NOT" end up in divorce in FSU is quite simple, as we all know, what are the chances of a 30-yr old RW (with children) of getting married to another Russian man? Chances are slim to none.  

As to the age difference, whomever you marry certain risks are involved. More risk involved in marrying someone from overseas (re: of age difference) simply because you have less time to really get to know that person to determine how compatible you are. However, age difference aside, you must share same goals and interests, must have chemistry on both sides and honest with each other from beginning. Also, ave life span of a RM is 50-55 yrs old. Alcohol abuse can take its toll. I am a 45 years old, but I work out vigorously daily and I can match any 25 - 35 year old physically/athletically. Just because you may be in the mid 40's doesn't mean you are 75lb over weight and ready for a wheel chair. Younger doesn't mean better. Even hooking up with someone your own age doesn't mean chances are any better, there are just too  many variables one has to examine in order to figure out the lasting success of any relationship. Also, if RW is young and attractive I would think she would have many opportunities to find a AM closer to her age if that is what she is looking for, why then choose an older AM if younger men are available?

This topic will go round and round and round, but there are successful marriages where age difference does exceed 10 years or more, every relationship is different/unique. If RW has mind set that marriage will end in divorce regardless of how great marriage is, because all she is looking for is a greencard, she may find that it is not so easy to be on her own, grass may look green on the other side but thats just because you are looking from a distance and you don't always see the weeds and brown patches. Ok, said my 2cents, i feel better now! :)

... in response to Re: Re: Supply&Demand, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

Lara just joined.  Some of her posts indcate a poor "Rusky" english.  However the above post is good english...  not in content but in form...  ß äóìàþ, ÷òî Âû òÿíåòå íàøó öåïü... Êëýð

... in response to Something wrong here..., posted by jj on Feb 18, 2002

ß ÷òî-òî íå ïîíÿëà ïðî öåïü Sorry for typing errors, just have long nails :( i'll try 2 be more accurate

... in response to Something wrong here..., posted by jj on Feb 18, 2002

You are right jj.

... in response to Re: Re: Supply&Demand, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

Lara,

In regards to your first question about the possibility of my Russian wife divorcing me in a couple of years.  We had an extensive prenuptial agreement that took us weeks to complete.  Her two largest concerns were that I might later develop a drinking or drug problem (pretty common in Russian) and that I might find another woman.  There are very stiff penalites on me if such a situation developes.  Don't think this was a situation where she didn't understand the agreement and I just made her sign it.  We had it translated into Russian and also had a translator spend two days talking about divorces in America and how common they are and what the prenuptial agreement actually said.  In my view, we got everything out on the table and if it was her choice to divorce me in two years and I didn't have problems on my side then basically she gets half of whatever was acquired while we were together.  That wouldn't amount to much after only 2 years...probably not much after even 5 years.  Why would she sign this if her gameplan is to divorce me in a few years?

The main reason why a Russian wife was the right choice for me was the whole issue of divorce.  I am scared to death of divorce and in America it is a very common thing that can be done about as easily as changing your mailing address.  I want a long, happy future with one person.  We are also planning marriage counceling (idea we both want).  I am willing to do about anything to avoid divorce but it means a lot of work from us both.  So far we are off to a good start and that is the ideal time to look for ways to improve and better prepare for possible hard times in the future.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Supply&Demand, posted by Rickster on Feb 18, 2002

Dear Rick, i do not doubt your or her sinsere desire to live long and happy :D and i wish it will be like that. The que was not of her DELIBERATE desire to marry you for a couple of years - the issue is IF SHE IS TOO GOOD 4 YOU, SHE'LL LEARN IT QUICKLY. That's all. The main point of peeps to be good enuff for each other. I dunno you neither your wife - it's only for you to know that. If when you get married there was an idea behind your mind that RW r kind of second rate ppl and you may find here much better wife NOT BECAUSE OF YOUR PERSONALITY but coz she wants to live in USA - well, than it will be sad :( I hope it was not your case.
Drunked, cheating druggers - omg - WHERE THE HELL  your wife found those men? It's a bit rediculous...

... in response to Re: not a plan at all, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

Lara,

I have no intention of insulting your country, but if you don't think there is a drug or drinking problem in Russia I would ask you to get out of your closet and look around. Is there one in America....you bet!  I don't get offended if someone tells me so.

Good take in regards to being "TOO GOOD", but sadly that applies to people with a narrow vision in life.  I am no better than any other person in this world....regardless of race, culture, or personal wealth. I don't wake up each morning evaluating if I am better than my wife and I doubt she does this either.  Sadly, in America, I think may people do like to evaluate their options on a routine basis and determine if they can find a "BETTER DEAL".  My heart goes out to those people because they will never be happy in life.  They are in a continuous search mode ready to jump ship for the better option.  I'm in it for the long haul!

... in response to Rediculous?, posted by Rickster on Feb 18, 2002

well,  I heard of alcohol and drugs prob - mostly from papers.....coz all men i know r prosperious well eductated peeps running international companies :D or working in them
I hope your wife didn't know any of those bad guuys personaly, coz it's always her choice who to be friends with :D Can not understand why she was scared of those things, that's why i asked
I absolutely share you attitude to "a better deal" looking ppl

... in response to Re: not a plan at all, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

Lara,

I know I personally hold Russian people in quite high regard.  I would like to think everyone else here does as well.  I certainly wouldn't want to have a "second-rate" person for a wife.
I think that hardship makes people strong and that FSU people have shown an endurance and adaptability that is respectable.  Do I really know that much about the Russia culture?  No, I just have vague impressions I've gained over the years.  But I would like to learn more and see if I'm right.

John

... in response to Second rate?  Not at all..., posted by unsure on Feb 18, 2002

Not sure if any exists right now ;), i mean culture.  normally peeps mean history and trradition under this notion - well, we have a lot of both
Pretty often under "Rusculture" in terms of everyday life and attitude peeps mean our shovinistic society (still the situation leaves much to be desired) and if a feministic female doesn't want to fight 4 her rights inside the family(it's enuff struggles outside), a foreigner seems a good solution :D
Even among european/american educated rusmen there r still very few feminists :((

... in response to Re: Re: Supply&Demand, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

Hi Lara

I find what you are saying to be interesting. may I ask a few Questions.   In your post to Supply & demand, are you saying that  the russian women may leave him because of the age differences , or just after she learns the american way's??  I understand what you are saying as I have seen a lot of it before here.  Are you russian or american? I do not recall seeing a russian name Lara before.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Supply&Demand, Lara, posted by terry on Feb 18, 2002

You're pursuing a woman from the Russian culture and you've never seen or read "Dr. Zhivago"?

It should be available on both DVD and VHS.  You now have a homework assignment.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Supply&Demand, Lara, posted by terry on Feb 18, 2002

Lara is a shorrt for Larissa :D i'm russian, married to a brit, living in Moscow :D That's why internation marriages r interesing 4 me :D
My statement is that if there is a descrepancy between peeps, they will not live for long. To post an ad like the one i described is the same as to offer "old foreigner would love to invite a young beauty to use her body 4 a while, until she gets the permission to stray :D all inclusive ;)
And 2 be honest i'm so sad sometimes to see women ready 2 marry even a pinguin to leave russia :((
It's so cool here, but they r too lazy to work to leanr something new and think that their long legs is enuff to marry a foreigner and live on his money somewhere....

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Supply&Demand, Lara, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

"Thank You Lara

One other question. I ask this becasue I do not understand why You would be so sad about something some other person  wants to do. I am sad becasue soem of us have to look to other countries to find the wife we would like to have. I am sure there are some men that may look at this as just  a way to get a beautiful young women. But , most of us are sincere in what we are doing. where is the harm in it. If we get what we would like to have in life, that is a loving wife, and they get a better life and a loving caring husband, sound to me like a win  for both of them.

... in response to Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Supply&Demand, L..., posted by terry on Feb 18, 2002

It sounds nice 2 me, i believe it's like that at least in 70% of the cases, & i'm glad it's your personal position :D

Me is sad coz I'm very proud of my country, i believe in it's prosperious future, and i'm happy my hubby finks da same.

We have a statistic about RW leaving the country - it's about 10000 a year, not all of them r happy in their marriages, but some are :D And keeping in mind happy cases i would love to wish you to find your solemate :D wherever she lives - in Russia or next door

... in response to Re: oh, terry, i wish you knew our mass ..., posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

I am sorry but I cannot believe that so many Russian women go abroad every year... Where can I see the real statistics (from INS)? I guess, in reality the number of Russian women who get K-1 visa is even less than the quantity of Russian programmers (who get H1-B visa)...

... in response to 10000 per year? Impossible!, posted by PrincetonLion on Feb 18, 2002

The stats I saw indicated a rate of more than 300 people (not only women) were leaving Russia, never to return (to live), each day.

That translates into more than 100,000 each year.

[Source: http://www.countryreports.org/content/russia.htm Birth rate: 9.35 births/1,000 population (2001 est.)
Death rate: 13.85 deaths/1,000 population (2001 est.)
Net migration rate: 0.98 migrant(s)/1,000 population (2001 est.)
Population: 145,470,197 (July 2001 est.)]

The INS is not going to be much help, since they will only track immigrants to America (many other countries out there --smile--).

And Russia is certainly not going to be promoting this information as it would prove quite embarassing.

- Dan

... in response to Actually, I Think it is MUCH Higher . . ..., posted by Dan on Feb 18, 2002

actually,  I really cannot beleive the # of Russian families I meet in a given year lately.  It is incredible.  7-8 years ago I would meet 1 or 2 per year...now it is dozens and dozens per year.  Last night,  a family of 11 from Russian Georgia.  Very intelligent,  almost perfect English and just very nice people.

... in response to They keep arriving, posted by tim360z on Feb 18, 2002

Tim,
Wait til you bring a RW here.  Lena has the ability to spot Russians every where.  LOL  There are more here than you now realize.
KenC

... in response to wait, posted by KenC on Feb 18, 2002

Yeah Ken,

  The past couple years its really incredible...everywhere and I mean with the whole family.  For me,  some are very easy to spot...but some are so good,  that from a distance I think they are Italians or French or Canadians or....Americans.  I will bet Lena is more adept at spotting them than I am.  

... in response to Actually, I Think it is MUCH Higher . . ..., posted by Dan on Feb 18, 2002


I agree.  Most are probably not leaving on K-1 visas, many are coming to US on H1-B programs or other countries equivalent.  Except for the last year Europe alone could have probably used 100,000 technology professionals each year.  It would seem logical at least 10% would be female.  Add in K-1 visas, illegal workers.  100,000 seems easily attainable.

... in response to Actually, I Think it is MUCH Higher . . ..., posted by Dan on Feb 18, 2002

Which puts the total emigration rate for Russia at close to 150,000 per year.

I doubt the ratio of men to women is anything close to 15:1, and probably not far from 1:1, hence the 10,000 women per year figure is undoubtedly way low.

- Dan

... in response to 10000 per year? Impossible!, posted by PrincetonLion on Feb 18, 2002

That statistic was given at my russian forum - i can't say it's true or not.

... in response to Re: oh, terry, i wish you knew our mass ..., posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

Lara

You are right to love your country. I understand that. what I do not understand is, if you  do not agree with us, why come here to this post?  when you say " I wish you knew our mass media Propoganda. I would like to know it. you could , if you like , e-mail to me rather than use this post. But i would like to learn more about it.

Thank you

... in response to I think I understand, Lara, posted by terry on Feb 18, 2002

Well, one of the regs here, a russian guy left URL of this forum on a russian one,  where we were discussing international marriages
http://www.arbatova.ru/cgi-bin/ub2k/UltraBoard.cgi?action=Read&BID=4&TID=255&SID=70899 you may have a look

sorry if i disturbed your company here, the topic is really interesting 4 me

... in response to Re: I think I understand, Lara, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

Lara

You did not disturbe me at all. I am sincere when I tell you I would like to learn more about what you are saying. the reason I ask you that question is , If you disagree with what we are doing, why talk to us abut it, why not talk to the russian women that want to marry an american.  I do understand that you have an interest in international dating. But you seem to be quite negative about it.  Just trying to understand why. I,m just learning, that's all

thank you

... in response to No,  you are OK, posted by terry on Feb 18, 2002

well, we were talking about it with rus women and men, there were a lot of complains and some positive experiences. I think mine is positive. Princelion offered an opportunity to talk on this forum, i used it - that's all
And if i stressed some most common mistakes of such marriages, i don't think i'm against them in general. But 2 be honest, private e-mail stuff is not interesting for me - coz it's time consuming, and i had lot's of free time today but it's a rare occasion.

... in response to Re: where did you see i disagreed?, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

I may be wrong. I just go t the impression that you did not agree with them. or maybe it was the age difference you were talking about. sorry

... in response to Supply&Demand, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

give or take a year.  IMHO

... in response to Rule: No more then 1/3rd of your age dif..., posted by jj on Feb 18, 2002

a fair combination to my mind is 3-7 years difference, both with or w/o kids, level of education shall be similar and religeon. I'm sorry to admit the rasizm of my country but ruswomen in general prefer white christian men, if they r da same, while responses r more from asians, arabs, indians..... If a woman is in a desperate situation and want to immigrate ANYWHERE but now........you can't expect a proper family in da future.......:(

... in response to Re: just 2 be fair, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

in England, I mean, you are just another victim of the junky malarchy which goes under many disguises nowadays, like "multiculturalism"!
Russian women may have more common sense and self-preservation instinct than their decadent Western counterparts.
Why would be racism if one doesn't want to marry another race?
Wake up and smell the coffee, it's precisely for this, among many other idiocies why the world is upside down in the Western world now!
Now homosexuality is accepted, miscegenation more spread, to the point that any normal behavior, family, will become more and more scarce. No society which accepted that in the past, ancient or more recently, survived well.
It's also about responsibility, mixing races is nothing but relinquishing responsibility, wreaking havoc with one's future, society's, and so on. Not to mention the mutations!
By the way if you would know something about real Russian history, you would know how much the white (European) Russians suffered from the onslaught, and many times slavery by the savage tribes issueing out of Asia!
To stay within one's race is plain normal and makes all the sense from the natural self-preservation instinct which we are equipt with, but sometimes some forsake it to their own destruction.
your point here is totally ridiculous.
And by the way, if you are such a moral smart-alleck, how come YOU didn't go after some Indian?
It seems you didn't live what you teach!
As if England didn't became a putrid shadow of what it was, it's now a spineless nation, a den for Muslim terrorists, and generally any miscreantic third-world nation which is spreading their savage customs to their and their (British) hosts' destruction.

If only you would REALLY open your eyes and look around ...

... in response to Re: just 2 be fair, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

Maybe 60% of my age.  

Lara, where did you get an ejewcashun?  Just curious?

... in response to My life, my rules, posted by BubbaGump on Feb 19, 2002

Don't waiste your time talking to a troll - whatever troll means I'm not curious anymore, i've learned all i should. But what an idiot i was at my discussion to other russian females :( Now i see how right they were..........

... in response to Re: just 2 be fair, posted by Lara on Feb 18, 2002

I am sorry but I think you are a Troll...  My parents where 13 years apart and I think this is reasonable. I still maintain that a gap of 1/3 your age is a reasonable guide gove or take a year or two.  IE if you are thirty look no younder then 20,  If you are 45 then 30 is the limit..  at 60 then 40 is your limit...  IMHO

... in response to 3 to 7 years no way..., posted by jj on Feb 18, 2002

There are various rules of thumb that people use when looking for life mates.  The 2/3 your age rule is relatively realistic, and also the "1/2 your age plus seven" rule.  Of course these "rules" are nothing more than guidelines.  Exceptions always occur, despite the best of intentions.

I was 34, going on 35 when I hit it off with an 18 year old girl.  Once we started getting serious, I realized the large age difference between us and was almost put off by it.  However, my girlfriend told me that she had no problems with it, and questioned whether it was really that big a deal.  I gave her the benefit of the doubt and ended up marrying her.  At the time we married, she was 20 and I was 36.  We've been happy ever since.

Looking at the various rules, we shouldn't have tried.  At half your age plus seven, I should have been looking for a 24 year old and married a 25 year old.  At the 2/3 rule, I should have married a 24 year old.  Had I used these "rules" to govern my decisions, I would have passed up on the most wonderful person to ever grace my life.

Remember, that these are *guidelines*, not rules.  Your situation might not fit within what is considered the norm.  Before you throw out a potentially wonderful relationship, simply because of age, take the time to look at all the other things going on between the two of you.  If it bothers you, take the time to discuss it with your girl.  In my case, I found out much later that my wife has a thing for older men.  She didn't tell me this until after we were married, but I think she felt she might have scared me away if she had, for whatever reason.

Yes, it is important to give yourself a "reality check" when evaluating the potential relationship, but don't discount any one item unless it is going to be a showstopper for you.  If you hold out for that "perfect match" you're going to be searching for a long time...

As always, this is simply my 2¢ and strictly my opinion.  Do not take this while operating heavy equipment...

... in response to Various rules of thumb, posted by John K on Feb 18, 2002

There are always exceptions to the rule..  yes this is a guidline  when you are  45 she will be 28 as time goes by the age difference is not as great in percentage terms...

As to the general age diference. An age gap of 15 years is not that uncommon.  As mentioned my Perents where 13 years apart as were many of the post wold war II and previuous married generations.  A closer age difference is a more recent development.  A met a guy in Yalta he was 35 and his wife 18.  He told me that such an age difference was not uncommon in Ukraine.  The main issue is that a women is married before 24...  agaion this is a generalisation..

... in response to Rules are always made to be broken, posted by jj on Feb 18, 2002

may have a different experience.  Your "rule" is yours alone and certainly bears little revelance to the experience of others.  Your "rule" is your limitation.  And should not apply to others.

... in response to Again JJ Dear...this is your "rule&..., posted by tim360z on Feb 19, 2002

I never said this rule was for anyone...  read more carefully next time...  it was just a guide that I think works...  The wustion about age difference is a very common one on this board...  after all it is all relative and you are only as old as you feel...  yeah right ..  IMHO

... in response to Various rules of thumb, posted by John K on Feb 18, 2002

and are only for those with a pathetic brain.  One could easily passadena on a girl beleiving she is too young...by reading some of the garbage on here.  Both you and her would need to be rather exceptional and definitely not the norm.  Now Moscow as compared with the rest of the FSU is really a country within a city.  It is not emblemic of the rest of the FSU.  The girls I know there in Moscow are married to RM's with an age spread of 3-15 years.  10 would be average.  All are in finance.  Sssssoooo Lara,  my dear...if indeed you are really Lara in Moscow.  And not Beatrice in St. Louis...I find your info curious,  at best.  I think John is correct...it is the quality and character and quality of the people involved and not some arbitrary measurement pre-condition,  which you willy-nilly impose.  Sorry babe,  you just don't pass the muster with me.  Your info is arbitrary and capricious,  at best.  Oh! parting shot---for someone who claims to be a married woman in Moscow who just had the time to come on the PL board today...I think you are full of it. My hunch.  Now,  I can arrange for you to meet for coffe at a cafe with a couple female married friends from Moscow...are you game or are you in Detroit?

... in response to Guidelines  & formulas are meaningle..., posted by tim360z on Feb 18, 2002

well, tim, if you want to have a look at where i came from
http://www.arbatova.ru/cgi-bin/ub2k/UltraBoard.cgi?action=Read&BID=4&TID=255&SID=71296 -there is even a pic!!
I expressed what i thought about this forum......in a few words, i'm completely disappointed.......i was much more positive before i came here......I had to apologize to russian females who were thinking of foreign fiancies the same i think now. I argued with them.It was silly of me to take my experience and my perfect british husband as a common example. you persuaded me, you, americans, r very persuading. That's all, Tim babe, if you've done your homework you may go to sleep

... in response to Re: Guidelines  & formulas are meani..., posted by Lara on Feb 19, 2002

Lara,  Thanks for your follow-up on that.  Certainly,  it is an area where there can be misconceptions on both sides and misunderstandings.  Love and marriage?  Embarking on that pursuit I think starts with a good healthy amount of mutual respect and trust,  And right after that would be great communication,  some chemistry and character between the 2 people.  Good luck,  Tim

... in response to 3 to 7 years no way..., posted by jj on Feb 18, 2002

dunno who r trolls or flamers :( (sighs) every woman/man has her/his own priorities, even 5 years r quite a lot-to my mind - my hub is 3 years older-that's perfect for us. If 13 is good 4 you and your wife - fine :D